(no subject)
This really truly feels like it hurts, and I mean hurts. And I'm gonna allow myself this morning of feeling shitty, but...I gotta goldfish this and move on. I just have to. I'm not gonna waste my precious time wallowing in self pity when I need to be putting in work on moving forward with my goals. It's a fucking bummer, but...it is what it is, dude. I'm literally here just sloooowly dying, and I gotta gotta use my time towards the things that matter to me.
Yes, we've built love up into this mythical, nearly un-attainable thing because our expectations for our partner are literally everything. It's like, they gotta be beautiful, personable, funny, great banter, great at sex, solid job, supportive of you. Like all the fucking things. Maybe love isn't real. Maybe it's just two people who find each other's respective assets as desirable for procreation. Maybe that's all that it actually is. Maybe that's all it is for most people. Maybe a small percentage of people its actually true love. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm rambling.
BTW, I lied to Christina last night too. I still have feelings for Kellye. Always.
Anyways, back to my main point. I'm resting for a day (if that) and moving forward.