The Children Are So Hungry They Don't Know How To Smile
I read a post on Cracked.com that I really, really want you to read.
I want you to read it, and understand it, and then come back to this because I need to assuage my own guilt.
I'm guilty, because I've been a part of this.
Right, so we're out in the country - not necessarily countryside country, just not in the big smoke - and we hateses the city, my precious. We hateses it. And you here in New Zealand can relate to this.
Because we only have one city.
And we hates Auckland. We hateses it, precious. Why are we worried about fucking convention centres attached to casinos up there when the toilets in Christchurch still chat back when you flush them? Housing crisis, why don't you move down to Feilding1 or Invercargill2? Why does everything revolve around Auckland, the North Island isn't just north of the Bombay Hills3?
I grew up in Palmerston North. I still can't identify as an Aucklander, despite having lived in (rural south-, rural north-, and rural south-) Auckland for almost a decade.
And the author of the Cracked article hit me square between the relevance. He brought in popular culture by means of Theatre and Film, with Film and Television in particular. And how they are set in the city. And how, if they present the country, how are the country folk represented? As hicks. The Beverly Hillbillies riffed on this most obviously, but let's see how that barb stands up in my own collection: Well, for starters it took a bit of work to find some. In my fairly extensive library, I found nine titles with contemporary "countryfolk" represented. To Kill a Mockingbird, Joe's Apartment, The Big Bang Theory, Beetlejuice, Days of Thunder, Blazing Saddles, Hot Fuzz, Super Troopers and Independence Day. Actually, there are two more, but I'll get to them or at least the first, more important one.
Le'see. To Kill A Mockingbird. You are meant to identify with Scout and learn from Atticus, but what if in your circumstances you don't identify with the lawyer's tomboy daughter? What if you identify with Bob or Mayella, living in your desperation? You're not gonna be feeling too good about yourself there, now.
When Joe arrives in the big city from Iowa, it takes him less time - three muggings, actually - to 'wise up' from his country-bumpkin naivety than it takes him to find Joe's Apartment.
In The Big Bang Theory we can all have a laugh at Sheldon's religious mother as he relates the various parables the silly superstitious Texan recited to him through his childhood. Still not feeling the love, country-folk?
Beetlejuice follows a similar direction as Joe's Apartment in relation to wising up, as the simple country couple need the help of a wiseguy - the Ghost with the Most - to deal with the horrible cityfolk that have bought and gutted their beloved home with no respect for the homely decor within.
Days of Thunder is a rural, southern-state horror story. This hotshoe from California no less comes in to drive NASCAR and despite a serious crash and time out due to injury he still shows all them hicks which way around the track goes and wins the Daytona 500 in what, his first full season of race driving? Go California! Yeah!
Blazing Saddles, Hot Fuzz, and Super Troopers are all comedies. Satirical comedies. Their treatment of country people is exactly what you would expect. And you still aren't feeling good about yourself.
Independence Day, y'all remember the cropdusting alcoholic that was abducted by aliens? Well, here's one to feel good about. Yep, the only way to redeem yourself is to deliberately fly your plane into something. Oh wait, that's probably not a good narrative to follow.
OK, so we're getting a raw deal from Hollywood. How are we doing in real life? Oh shit.
We're not doing so great. The manufacturing has gone overseas. The coal mine's been closed down. Even corporatised farming is making farming the farm harder and less lucrative as the big boys benefit from economy of scale to undercut prices at the farm gate. And those Kiwis, the only thing they've got even half of in this free trade deal is milk imports. And their milk is delicious and creamy and cheap and poor old Bessie can't shoot out much better than thin white water because we can't irrigate because the cityfolk have decreed that our water has to go to Over There as well and we are so poked.
So we need some hope... (to be continued)
- Gremlyn
1Apologies to Feilding peeps, I love you but I needed to make a point
2No such apology, you can keep the icy butthole of the nation to yourself
3Actually a criticism levelled at a club representing the North Island that had some 90% membership north of the Bombay Hills go figure
I want you to read it, and understand it, and then come back to this because I need to assuage my own guilt.
I'm guilty, because I've been a part of this.
Right, so we're out in the country - not necessarily countryside country, just not in the big smoke - and we hateses the city, my precious. We hateses it. And you here in New Zealand can relate to this.
Because we only have one city.
And we hates Auckland. We hateses it, precious. Why are we worried about fucking convention centres attached to casinos up there when the toilets in Christchurch still chat back when you flush them? Housing crisis, why don't you move down to Feilding1 or Invercargill2? Why does everything revolve around Auckland, the North Island isn't just north of the Bombay Hills3?
I grew up in Palmerston North. I still can't identify as an Aucklander, despite having lived in (rural south-, rural north-, and rural south-) Auckland for almost a decade.
And the author of the Cracked article hit me square between the relevance. He brought in popular culture by means of Theatre and Film, with Film and Television in particular. And how they are set in the city. And how, if they present the country, how are the country folk represented? As hicks. The Beverly Hillbillies riffed on this most obviously, but let's see how that barb stands up in my own collection: Well, for starters it took a bit of work to find some. In my fairly extensive library, I found nine titles with contemporary "countryfolk" represented. To Kill a Mockingbird, Joe's Apartment, The Big Bang Theory, Beetlejuice, Days of Thunder, Blazing Saddles, Hot Fuzz, Super Troopers and Independence Day. Actually, there are two more, but I'll get to them or at least the first, more important one.
Le'see. To Kill A Mockingbird. You are meant to identify with Scout and learn from Atticus, but what if in your circumstances you don't identify with the lawyer's tomboy daughter? What if you identify with Bob or Mayella, living in your desperation? You're not gonna be feeling too good about yourself there, now.
When Joe arrives in the big city from Iowa, it takes him less time - three muggings, actually - to 'wise up' from his country-bumpkin naivety than it takes him to find Joe's Apartment.
In The Big Bang Theory we can all have a laugh at Sheldon's religious mother as he relates the various parables the silly superstitious Texan recited to him through his childhood. Still not feeling the love, country-folk?
Beetlejuice follows a similar direction as Joe's Apartment in relation to wising up, as the simple country couple need the help of a wiseguy - the Ghost with the Most - to deal with the horrible cityfolk that have bought and gutted their beloved home with no respect for the homely decor within.
Days of Thunder is a rural, southern-state horror story. This hotshoe from California no less comes in to drive NASCAR and despite a serious crash and time out due to injury he still shows all them hicks which way around the track goes and wins the Daytona 500 in what, his first full season of race driving? Go California! Yeah!
Blazing Saddles, Hot Fuzz, and Super Troopers are all comedies. Satirical comedies. Their treatment of country people is exactly what you would expect. And you still aren't feeling good about yourself.
Independence Day, y'all remember the cropdusting alcoholic that was abducted by aliens? Well, here's one to feel good about. Yep, the only way to redeem yourself is to deliberately fly your plane into something. Oh wait, that's probably not a good narrative to follow.
OK, so we're getting a raw deal from Hollywood. How are we doing in real life? Oh shit.
We're not doing so great. The manufacturing has gone overseas. The coal mine's been closed down. Even corporatised farming is making farming the farm harder and less lucrative as the big boys benefit from economy of scale to undercut prices at the farm gate. And those Kiwis, the only thing they've got even half of in this free trade deal is milk imports. And their milk is delicious and creamy and cheap and poor old Bessie can't shoot out much better than thin white water because we can't irrigate because the cityfolk have decreed that our water has to go to Over There as well and we are so poked.
So we need some hope... (to be continued)
- Gremlyn
1Apologies to Feilding peeps, I love you but I needed to make a point
2No such apology, you can keep the icy butthole of the nation to yourself
3Actually a criticism levelled at a club representing the North Island that had some 90% membership north of the Bombay Hills go figure