two halves are equal, a cross between two evils
i'm just so afraid of what i'm going to do with myself. it's like after high school you move on to college. and i think that makes sense, but at the same time i am afraid that i will be equally frustrated with the education system being more concerned with my ability to memorize things rather than understand things. maybe if i understood more things i wouldn't worry so much about my future. i am just being nervous over nothing. it's so beautiful out and i'm not even worried about anything, i will write books and borrow things for the rest of my life and be happier than everyone else. i think i have noticed that i am only upset when i try really hard to convince everyone else i am happy. trying to convince people that i am in the position to be happy. whatever i am happy - i don't need to pick that apart.