Internalized Hatred
As I stare at him, a collection of repulsion threatens to escape from behind my lips
His body was like porcelain,
sculpted by the hands of God,
But never to be touched by me.
I do not shower kisses upon his skin,
Rather I bite at him like an militant animal,
Drenching him with punishment.
However for being such a sinful temptation planted by a seed from Eden,
He tasted like I had been starved my whole existence.
That he was the only thing that could sate me.
My stomach tells me to retch,
While my heart tells me to feed.
Although he writhes beneath me,
I can’t stop.
I am told to hate him,
But I can’t help but love him.
I am told to discipline him,
But I can’t help but welcome him.
I am told to pray,
But I can’t help but surrender myself to him.
I offer all the possibilities of sin and lust to him,
For I am unsure if what I feel is human.
His body was like porcelain,
sculpted by the hands of God,
But never to be touched by me.
I do not shower kisses upon his skin,
Rather I bite at him like an militant animal,
Drenching him with punishment.
However for being such a sinful temptation planted by a seed from Eden,
He tasted like I had been starved my whole existence.
That he was the only thing that could sate me.
My stomach tells me to retch,
While my heart tells me to feed.
Although he writhes beneath me,
I can’t stop.
I am told to hate him,
But I can’t help but love him.
I am told to discipline him,
But I can’t help but welcome him.
I am told to pray,
But I can’t help but surrender myself to him.
I offer all the possibilities of sin and lust to him,
For I am unsure if what I feel is human.