(no subject)
We went to see my grandparents today. And I got a chocolate bunny! I love chocolate bunnies. Last year, grandma gave my little cousins one each, and I got some fancy orange chocolate instead, and I was so disappointed. I wanted a chocolate bunny, dammit! So this year, I got one, and now I've eaten it, and I fell kind of nauseous, but... Mmm, chocolate bunnies...
And, as you know, the reason that we eat chocolate this time of year is because Jesus died and came to life once more. He was crucified. And the colour of the chocolate, and the... colour of the wood on the cross... And on the hill where he was crucified, there lived a bunch of bunnies, MAGICAL bunnies that laid eggs with funny colours. And there were chickens as well. And the chickens said to the mean people "hey, you can't kill Christ, he's one of the good guys!" And the mean people said: "O RLY?" And the chickens said "Fo' shizzle, yo." They were rapping chickens. Rapping, Christian chickens. But the mean people, well, they were mean, and so they said "nah, we're not guuuunna!" And they killed Jesus. For realz.
All this was left out of the Bible because, let's face it, it's pretty damn silly.
And, as you know, the reason that we eat chocolate this time of year is because Jesus died and came to life once more. He was crucified. And the colour of the chocolate, and the... colour of the wood on the cross... And on the hill where he was crucified, there lived a bunch of bunnies, MAGICAL bunnies that laid eggs with funny colours. And there were chickens as well. And the chickens said to the mean people "hey, you can't kill Christ, he's one of the good guys!" And the mean people said: "O RLY?" And the chickens said "Fo' shizzle, yo." They were rapping chickens. Rapping, Christian chickens. But the mean people, well, they were mean, and so they said "nah, we're not guuuunna!" And they killed Jesus. For realz.
All this was left out of the Bible because, let's face it, it's pretty damn silly.