Adventures in online dating- putting this in my blog for the police in case I get randomly stabbed
I have a profile on OKcupid. Usually when I am not interested in dating someone who sends me a message I hit the delete button and move on with my life. But a few messages from Davemn provoked my mischievous side. He sent me four messages in one day before I responded. In one of the messages he asked me if I wanted to see a live show and in another he wrote:
=====Davemn wrote=====
humus is spelled hummus babe jus lettin u know i work in a kitchen, beside yer music u seem very outgoin and fun
(I mention that "humus" is one of my favorite foods on my profile)
In which I responded with my first and only exchange of words thus far:
=====ekoorb2003 wrote=====
um thanks.
Davemn must have felt a bit insulted by this because he felt the need to write me this:
=====Davemn wrote=====
"k then w/e b a stuck up bitch learn to spell your food before u tlk about them cunt and as for the live music fuck it "
This where I should have hit that lovely delete button, but instead this morning before beginning my work I felt overcome to antagonize this little prick so I wrote:
=====ekoorb2003 wrote=====
Dear Davenm,
I may not know you, but from our brief exchange of words it appears you need to relax. I find bubble baths, nature walks, Moby, and yoga relaxing and highly suggest them for stress management.
I really appreciated you pointing out my error, in fact I changed it on my profile, just for you. As you may already know, people really enjoy being corrected. Also, girls are more likely to date you if you call them a "stuck up bitch" or a "cunt." How very witty of you! Personally I prefer this sort of discourse to occur in the bedroom.
Davenm you make a few good points, my taste in music may be a cheesy to you but to others it's eclectic. You're right, I should know how to spell kitchen vocabulary words, because like you I have worked in a kitchen, as a manager even! Labeling me a "stuck up bitch" may be a warranted title. You graciously looked passed my shortcomings while I was unable to ignore your utter disregard for the English language. It's nothing personal, I just prefer intellectually stimulating conversations, even online.
"Cunt" on the other hand was a bit extreme. I didn't want to make a liar out of you, so here I am writing you this letter.
Sincerely,
Ekoorb
ps. hummus is also spelled hummos, hummous
I hope that shuts him up, don't ever call me a cunt