It's been strange.
I've been working as much as usual. However, I've been having a little bit of trouble finding the motivation to go to class. I just go to go, but I don't pay as much attention as I should. It seems so futile. I hate going, I don't like most of the classes, and all of them could be better. I'm just sick of being in school. I feel like I've been in school for long enough. I really want a Biology degree, but I don't want to have to take chemistry or physics to get it, that's really dumb to me. I want to be a Biology major and take biology courses, but I can't! I'm so sick of these core classes. They drive me nuts. I can't stand another math class, it'll drive me up the wall. I'm happy that summer is coming, I'm NOT going to take any summer courses. My mom says I should but I'm just so close to just quitting school all together for a little while, that I must have summer off. Besides, this summer should be pretty interesting. I can't wait for everyone to come home, I miss all my friends who are away. Kat's in Japan, Tucker's in England, Mike, Billy, Ben, Simmons, and Grif are all in Milli.
My cousin has gone crazy, and I love her, she cracks me up, but I don't always feel that I have the right answers to give. She's so different from me, and it's strange to think that it's been years since we last really were together. She has changed so much in that time. When we talk I can laugh and remember the dorky things we did, like wheelchair racing through the church. But now those thoughts are far from her mind it seems, and I sort of want the innocent, carefree cousin I once had. I remember going horseback riding all the time. I couldn't ride a horse for my life now, but I remember all the horses, and being there.
I guess I'm just in one of those moods where I just wish I could reach out and grasp those fond memories, because when it comes down to it, it's the good memories that you keep close to your heart. It's bittersweet, and difficult to accept that things can never be how they were. We're all older, we've all changed, and even though I'm sure we'd both still go wheelchair racing through the church, the liklyhood of that happening again is slim, and I wish it weren't. I miss my family, it's my own fault that we're not as close I suppose. I know that everyone always assumes it's my job to do the calling. I haven't made too much of an effort. My grandfather was just in the hospital, and I still haven't gone to see him. I'm a horrible person, but I'm a little scared to go, we weren't ever particularly close, even though I know he's a great man...though more than that I'm scared of how he will look, and how my grandmother will act. Onto a lighter topic, I went ice skating again today. It was nice, though sad that four year olds could skate better than me. I've never even tried to learn how to stop on the hockey skates...ha.
I think I know why I'm in this mood. I've been in the office for a little while now and my dad is playing his music, and I don't know if it's just the track, or the mix is just on the deperssing mix, but they're all mellow, like cry your eyes out, I miss how things used to be sort of songs. How dumb. I can't believe that music can effect me so mcuh. I gotta get away, haha. This is a long enough post anyways.
Love you all!
Take Care,
Brittany :)
My cousin has gone crazy, and I love her, she cracks me up, but I don't always feel that I have the right answers to give. She's so different from me, and it's strange to think that it's been years since we last really were together. She has changed so much in that time. When we talk I can laugh and remember the dorky things we did, like wheelchair racing through the church. But now those thoughts are far from her mind it seems, and I sort of want the innocent, carefree cousin I once had. I remember going horseback riding all the time. I couldn't ride a horse for my life now, but I remember all the horses, and being there.
I guess I'm just in one of those moods where I just wish I could reach out and grasp those fond memories, because when it comes down to it, it's the good memories that you keep close to your heart. It's bittersweet, and difficult to accept that things can never be how they were. We're all older, we've all changed, and even though I'm sure we'd both still go wheelchair racing through the church, the liklyhood of that happening again is slim, and I wish it weren't. I miss my family, it's my own fault that we're not as close I suppose. I know that everyone always assumes it's my job to do the calling. I haven't made too much of an effort. My grandfather was just in the hospital, and I still haven't gone to see him. I'm a horrible person, but I'm a little scared to go, we weren't ever particularly close, even though I know he's a great man...though more than that I'm scared of how he will look, and how my grandmother will act. Onto a lighter topic, I went ice skating again today. It was nice, though sad that four year olds could skate better than me. I've never even tried to learn how to stop on the hockey skates...ha.
I think I know why I'm in this mood. I've been in the office for a little while now and my dad is playing his music, and I don't know if it's just the track, or the mix is just on the deperssing mix, but they're all mellow, like cry your eyes out, I miss how things used to be sort of songs. How dumb. I can't believe that music can effect me so mcuh. I gotta get away, haha. This is a long enough post anyways.
Love you all!
Take Care,
Brittany :)