I'm a mess
It's funny how a journal is the one place you are supposed to feel you can say what you feel, right? If I put this down in writing somehow it will haunt me.
Have you ever made a HUGE mistake? I'm not talking little one, i'm talking gigantic life-altering, life f**king mistake. This mistake is now my albatross that I will carry around with me till the day I die. I will spend every day making atonement for it and regretting it every second and every breath I take.
I cannot confess this sin/mistake, because the pain it will cause will be immeasurable, and easing my guilt with confession is pointless and selfish.
I am thinking of ways to chastise myself, better myself and make myself better to my family and friends. Luckily, I am blessed with the most loyal and caring friends.
Please pray for me that I may learn and be better and that God will forgive me.