(no subject)
On a long run earlier today I found myself reflecting on how much I've changed in the past few years. As a child I always had this concept of what I'd be like as an adult. I don't fit this daydream image of myself, and to be honest I'm glad I don't. The person I've grown into is much more curious, adventurious, and resilent than the one I imagined. Not to mention more independent. I'm glad I'm not just the older version of the person I used to be. I used to be really shy, a shrinking violet who down-played her intelligence and talent in an attempt to blend in. At some point in time I decided this attempt was futile; I'm not good at blending. As my mom recently pointed out, even if I didn't open my mouth I'd stand out with my bright red hair; so why try? College has been a huge part of accepting myself as "that smart redheaded girl." It's kinda weird that persona followed me to college; but I don't mind it anymore. I love the openness of college and the relatively few people you have to give you negative criticism. High school was completely sufficating for me, even if I was one of those students who was into everything. Going to such a small school certainly didn't help. People were pretty rigid about what was considered the norm. When I researched colleges I looked for some place fairly big where I'd just be one of the crowd. I feel that I made a good choice, but that part about blending in died at some point. I'm glad I got comfortable enough to be myself, because otherwise I'd be really lost :P