Damn, I guess it is true?
So. Its hard to pat yourself on the back in a manner in which Im about to. But I feel like the Dave that left for Carolina and the Dave that returned are two different people. I feel like it sucks ass for you guys because my entries are so few and far between now and I feel far less dramatic.
But listen. I feel as though a couple of things have happened that have helped to shape me into the person I should've been five years ago, but could've never become without the 5 years. First. Im not really negative anymore, Although I still maintain that I never was negative I was merely a realist, I now realize that this was actually just me being negative? I wouldn't say Im positive, but I feel like I have... hm, less to be ashamed of? I know, I really shouldn't have been ashamed of who I was, but seriously I think thats just the best way to put it. Two, I think I've finally embraced an exceptional theory that I attempted to enact shortly thereafter high school. That being a no bullshit lifestyle. Previously however, my methods for ensuring I had a no bs lifestyle were actually often more of a hazard than a benefit. Now, my life is just simplified. Problems happen, getting through them is part of life. If ur sick of someone, just let it go, stop being around them. No need for verbal pollution. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm still very willing to be an asshole when its warranted. I think ive just figured out that there are many ways to make your point without ruining a bunch of peoples day and exerting unneccessary energy. I dont know? Do I?
So obviously one of the major things that has been getting to me in recent history has been my mom. Her and I used to have such an amazing relationship. It all went to hell for some reason? She was mad at me because she thought I was wasting my life or some shit like that, I was pissed at her for a million and ten things. Whatever. I came home from NC and totally tried to fix everything by just trying to enact a positive attitude towards everything. I actually realized that she was me and I was being my dad. I always hated it when I was pissed or trying to be pissed about something and he was all positive. SO it took me like 4 weeks or something to realize this. My mom and I sat down last night and had a talk for like 2 hours. I think things have the potential to be better. I really do. I mean, I blame her for alot of shit and I blame my dad for alot of shit, but I cant be mad at them forever. Its in the past, theres little or nothing that can be done now. Its so weird too, because none of that stuff used to affect me either. Weird.
Anyways, I'm really looking forward to just making the most out of what I have. My life is different now, almost different than its ever been. I have something that I can give back to society now. I have the power to make a difference in the world now. Not only that, the world has the power to make a difference in me.
Its really pretty fantastic what there is to see if you just open your eyes.
~DAVE
But listen. I feel as though a couple of things have happened that have helped to shape me into the person I should've been five years ago, but could've never become without the 5 years. First. Im not really negative anymore, Although I still maintain that I never was negative I was merely a realist, I now realize that this was actually just me being negative? I wouldn't say Im positive, but I feel like I have... hm, less to be ashamed of? I know, I really shouldn't have been ashamed of who I was, but seriously I think thats just the best way to put it. Two, I think I've finally embraced an exceptional theory that I attempted to enact shortly thereafter high school. That being a no bullshit lifestyle. Previously however, my methods for ensuring I had a no bs lifestyle were actually often more of a hazard than a benefit. Now, my life is just simplified. Problems happen, getting through them is part of life. If ur sick of someone, just let it go, stop being around them. No need for verbal pollution. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm still very willing to be an asshole when its warranted. I think ive just figured out that there are many ways to make your point without ruining a bunch of peoples day and exerting unneccessary energy. I dont know? Do I?
So obviously one of the major things that has been getting to me in recent history has been my mom. Her and I used to have such an amazing relationship. It all went to hell for some reason? She was mad at me because she thought I was wasting my life or some shit like that, I was pissed at her for a million and ten things. Whatever. I came home from NC and totally tried to fix everything by just trying to enact a positive attitude towards everything. I actually realized that she was me and I was being my dad. I always hated it when I was pissed or trying to be pissed about something and he was all positive. SO it took me like 4 weeks or something to realize this. My mom and I sat down last night and had a talk for like 2 hours. I think things have the potential to be better. I really do. I mean, I blame her for alot of shit and I blame my dad for alot of shit, but I cant be mad at them forever. Its in the past, theres little or nothing that can be done now. Its so weird too, because none of that stuff used to affect me either. Weird.
Anyways, I'm really looking forward to just making the most out of what I have. My life is different now, almost different than its ever been. I have something that I can give back to society now. I have the power to make a difference in the world now. Not only that, the world has the power to make a difference in me.
Its really pretty fantastic what there is to see if you just open your eyes.
~DAVE