If I Could Paint the World

[eithne_ferrish]

If I could paint the world
As it appears to me,
I would need every colour,
Black to blue to green.

Comments

[xsmiley_smbx]

I really love some of the lines in this - particularly the last stanza. My only problem with it is that sometimes I didn't find it clear why a colour represented what it did - for example, I didn't understand brown at all. Also, I think there were maybe a couple of places where the rhythm was a bit off, but that could have been me reading it too quickly. Other than that I thought it was beautifully written; I really like it.

[eithne_ferrish]

Thank you! I can see how it would be hard to understand the representations, since each of us perceive colours differently. Brown eludes to chocolate in its first two lines (both bitter chocolate and sweetened chocolate), because that is what I think of foremost when I think of brown.

'For those who hold us close' is because I think of brown as a comforting, homely colour.

'The faces that we meet' is a part I don't really like, but it is basically just talking about skin tone (how all of the human race is brown, from black-brown to very pale tan colour, which, if you add enough white, comes from brown).

I need to work on my rhythm; I do not often write poetry, so I'm all out of practice. :)

Thank you very much for your comments! It made my day. =D

[xsmiley_smbx]

Ooooh, I like brown now that I understand it!

And you're welcome =)