screened to ryuichi only. Unhackable.

[eiri_x_yuki]

Ryuichi... I...

Im not sure how to beg this of you...

but please... please dont steel both of them from me.

They are all I have left, all I... All I have to hold onto...

I love them.

I dont want to be all alone again...

Tohma... Tohma doesnt like me for who I am now... he gets so angry... he yells alot, and shuichi adores you...He... He leaves me in the

Comments

Re: Private to Ryuichi~ Unhackable

[sakuma_r]

Tohma has been upset for awhile now. He didn't mean those things he said to you ~ not without reason anyway. Did you do something to make him doubt you? It's good that you're trying to open up to him. You need to trust him. At the end of the day he has your best interest at heart. I suggest you speak to him straight away about how you're feeling.

Shuichi... He's lying to himself when he says he wants to stay with you. I don't think he can see how destructive you are for him. *sighs* I'll do my best to talk him out of it...but if he does choose you, then...I won't stand in the way.

Don't play games with either of them, Yuki-san.

((OOC: Ahhh, we're finally on at the same time! *LOL* You're being very understanding and helpful. I don't live close to you guys at all. I'm in the U.K. That's one of the reasons why my timing is so awful. But I'm usually on at around this time for about a couple of hours - (It's afternoon here) I can do gmail. Phone could be tricky, unless you're willing to text message. I'm afraid AIM and AOL hate me and I haven't been on those for ages. I'm sorry you got fired ~ ♥ ~ that's a terrible thing to happen. Oh, and yes, you'll be pleased to know that Aster has dropped out. XD Your Tohru's safe and sound now! XD))

Re: Private to Ryuichi~ Unhackable

[eiri_x_yuki]

I dont want you to...'talk him out of it' I want him to choose who he loves. its up to him. I cant say that i wont be sad if he leaves...

Just... how much do you love him?

Tohma...I want him happy. But I dont think he will let me be the one to make him happy or smile. I think, he doesnt want to let me be the one to make him happy.

[ no problem at all then! Akito-sama lives in the Uk also! I find time to talk to her. And yeah, if you could get on g-mail that would be good! ]]

Re: Private to Ryuichi~ Unhackable

[sakuma_r]

Even if he's given the choice, he'll still choose you. It's not a question about who he loves. I think he feels obligated to be with you because of all your 'problems'. He feels obligated to stay with you and look after you.

I love him....alot. I've loved him from the start.

Why would you think Tohma doesn't want you to make him happy? He's always been there for you, hasn't he? He cares about you.

((OOC: Sure ~ my gmail is: gemini.elf16@googlemail.com))

Re: Private to Ryuichi~ Unhackable

[eiri_x_yuki]

that may be the case...

As for tohma... Yeah, he's been here, but he hasnt. His so distant now, that its like he's breathing down over me, but i still cant manage to grasp onto him. He says I need to be happy for him to feel better... If I can see him smile truthfully again, around me, I could be the person he wants me to be. But he wont smile for me. He'll only smile for you.

Re: Private to Yuki ~ Unhackable

[sakuma_r]

No...that's not true. I know he loves you. That's one thing that won't ever change. The reason he seems so distant is because he's worried about you. He's doing all he can to understand you. But you're not making it easy for him.

He'll only smile for me? Did he tell you that?

Re: Private to Yuki ~ Unhackable

[eiri_x_yuki]

"I haven't really smiled for anyone but him in a very, very long time"
"Besides the fact that he's somehow more mentally stable than you'll ever be? Because - and you must understand how hypothetical this is, as I very much doubt he would ever consider loving me this way - Sakuma Ryuichi will not destroy me. If he needs my help, he lets me give it. He makes me feel like I can be myself - completely and honestly - without pretending to be cheerful or untouched. He's... special.
"

He thinks... really highly of you. Im not unstable... Is it really unstable to not want to be alone? To want at least someone you can talk to? its hard... not... not having anyone that can listen... that wont... sit here and yell, or cry because they dont understand. they are close to me, but yet they are so far.

Its hurts, being alone.

Re: Private to Yuki ~ Unhackable

[sakuma_r]

*sighs* I really can't get through to you like this, can I? Where are you? Mind if we talk face to face?

Re: Private to Yuki ~ Unhackable

[eiri_x_yuki]

...Heading home from the hospital.

Re: Private to Yuki ~ Unhackable

[sakuma_r]

Alright ~ I'll see if I can catch you on the way home.