31.2 "I am..."
I am afraid.
Not for myself, but for the unborn child growing inside of me. There’s a good possibility it will inherit talents and abilities from both myself and my husband, but neither of us know exactly what’s going to happen when Kyn is born, and I’m scared that there will be something wrong.
Something I can’t fix, or that other children would be cruel to him/her for, like not appearing human. I mean, that isn’t unheard of in our family. It won’t make me love them any more or any less, but going through a modern childhood with friends and school is going to be hard enough as a demi-god. Looking like everyone else might ease a little bit of the disconnect he/she is bound to feel. Am I making any sense? I hope so.
I am happy.
I am also looking forward to being a mother so much that I can’t stand it sometimes. I want to cradle him/her in my arms, show her how to plant flowers and hold a sit-in to protest a good cause, take him to Africa and walk alongside a herd of elephants while my husband complains that they aren’t quite as cool as rhinos. They are.
I am loved.
It’s an odd thing to say, because I’ve taken it for granted my entire life. But this is different. My husband goes alpha male if he thinks someone is flirting with me, which is kind of adorable. He knows I’m his. When Clark comes home from work, one of the first things he does is crouch down and say hello to The Belly, and the awe on his face, even if I’m not showing yet, makes me want to hold him and never let go. He’s also cooked dinner, let me sleep when I need it, hasn’t once brought up the fact that I’m starting to get crabby for no reason, and bought out the Toys-R-Us in Metropolis of every elephant and rhino toy they had.
I am content.
Not for myself, but for the unborn child growing inside of me. There’s a good possibility it will inherit talents and abilities from both myself and my husband, but neither of us know exactly what’s going to happen when Kyn is born, and I’m scared that there will be something wrong.
Something I can’t fix, or that other children would be cruel to him/her for, like not appearing human. I mean, that isn’t unheard of in our family. It won’t make me love them any more or any less, but going through a modern childhood with friends and school is going to be hard enough as a demi-god. Looking like everyone else might ease a little bit of the disconnect he/she is bound to feel. Am I making any sense? I hope so.
I am happy.
I am also looking forward to being a mother so much that I can’t stand it sometimes. I want to cradle him/her in my arms, show her how to plant flowers and hold a sit-in to protest a good cause, take him to Africa and walk alongside a herd of elephants while my husband complains that they aren’t quite as cool as rhinos. They are.
I am loved.
It’s an odd thing to say, because I’ve taken it for granted my entire life. But this is different. My husband goes alpha male if he thinks someone is flirting with me, which is kind of adorable. He knows I’m his. When Clark comes home from work, one of the first things he does is crouch down and say hello to The Belly, and the awe on his face, even if I’m not showing yet, makes me want to hold him and never let go. He’s also cooked dinner, let me sleep when I need it, hasn’t once brought up the fact that I’m starting to get crabby for no reason, and bought out the Toys-R-Us in Metropolis of every elephant and rhino toy they had.
I am content.