(no subject)
ow. i can't sleep because my stomach is wrong. i got an endoscopy thursday and now i have pictures of my slimy pink organs. yum. basically, my stomach has rebelled against the healthy boundaries of where it belongs and part of it is poking into my chest cavity. it's a hiatal hernia and it lets acid into my esophagus. this does not feel good and it's keeping me awake despite me not drinking and eating things that are wrong or at night.
i'm kind of scared because there are irregularities in my esophagus that got biopsied to see if i have barretts, which is precancerous cells that develop as your tissue heals from the acid that it's not supposed to be exposed to. even if i have it, it's not cancer, just an increased risk of cancer. but it's pretty much the direct cause of esophageal cancer which is something i did not really know existed, but really don't want. it's not terrible, i just want all of my cells to be PERFECT. i hope it comes back clean.
the doctor put a sedative in my IV and i disappeared within a few seconds. i woke up and thought that must be what it's like to die. it almost makes me a little less afraid of death. not existing probably isn't as hard as it sounds.
i don't know how to fall asleep....
i'm kind of scared because there are irregularities in my esophagus that got biopsied to see if i have barretts, which is precancerous cells that develop as your tissue heals from the acid that it's not supposed to be exposed to. even if i have it, it's not cancer, just an increased risk of cancer. but it's pretty much the direct cause of esophageal cancer which is something i did not really know existed, but really don't want. it's not terrible, i just want all of my cells to be PERFECT. i hope it comes back clean.
the doctor put a sedative in my IV and i disappeared within a few seconds. i woke up and thought that must be what it's like to die. it almost makes me a little less afraid of death. not existing probably isn't as hard as it sounds.
i don't know how to fall asleep....