existing.....
My late night Six Feet Under watching is starting to seriously break my heart. What an agonizing, lovely show. I am hyper aware of my mortality, wiggling fingers to test my aliveness.
The best thing about tonight was ginger snaps dipped in tea. Pish without the dipping.
I'm afraid of how fast the hours spin by me lately. I get up relatively early, stay up ridiculously late and things are accomplished, but the time in between dawn and dusk is so swift - makes me feel like all those rushed hours will make me old tomorrow.
This happens when life is too much of one activity and right now it's all mundane academicblur. Handed in two essays today - feels triumphant to dispose of work, regardless of its quality. I spent hours - well a couple of them - in the library printing of everything I could find related to the thesis. The two intertwining areas are depressingly vast. I put $30 on my printer account and now have a three inch stack of reports, tables, working papers, articles from the World Food Programme, the UN Development Programme, the Flood and Drought in Southern Africa Network, and Jim Morris who just went to Swaziland. Apparently, development economics is compliiiccaated. Yet another reason why most people don't research outside of their area of education - not that I know anything about politics either. Internet is okay, but books about intra-regional trade and household economics are so jargon-heavy and new-topic-y....some serious molasses paced reading is going on in England.
If I sleep through another class tomorrow, another one that would be six weeks out of it, the seminar that I have done absolutely none of the reading for because I decided the books were too heavy and I'd rather ship them than weigh down the backpack - well then I will feel really quite sad about myself...and probably the small pride of sloth too. I do have a package, so maybe I can read during my wait to get another rabies shot! ...kinda hoping full of magazines and American food though :)
Okay journal, goodnight.
The best thing about tonight was ginger snaps dipped in tea. Pish without the dipping.
I'm afraid of how fast the hours spin by me lately. I get up relatively early, stay up ridiculously late and things are accomplished, but the time in between dawn and dusk is so swift - makes me feel like all those rushed hours will make me old tomorrow.
This happens when life is too much of one activity and right now it's all mundane academicblur. Handed in two essays today - feels triumphant to dispose of work, regardless of its quality. I spent hours - well a couple of them - in the library printing of everything I could find related to the thesis. The two intertwining areas are depressingly vast. I put $30 on my printer account and now have a three inch stack of reports, tables, working papers, articles from the World Food Programme, the UN Development Programme, the Flood and Drought in Southern Africa Network, and Jim Morris who just went to Swaziland. Apparently, development economics is compliiiccaated. Yet another reason why most people don't research outside of their area of education - not that I know anything about politics either. Internet is okay, but books about intra-regional trade and household economics are so jargon-heavy and new-topic-y....some serious molasses paced reading is going on in England.
If I sleep through another class tomorrow, another one that would be six weeks out of it, the seminar that I have done absolutely none of the reading for because I decided the books were too heavy and I'd rather ship them than weigh down the backpack - well then I will feel really quite sad about myself...and probably the small pride of sloth too. I do have a package, so maybe I can read during my wait to get another rabies shot! ...kinda hoping full of magazines and American food though :)
Okay journal, goodnight.