(no subject)
heya everyone.....(good ending, bad start)
this week has been totally crappy, just to let you know, but now it is finally getting better.
(bad part)
it started out bad for one thing- i found out i left these important pieces of music at home. then i had two tests, and it rained all week. and i hate being wet and sitting in class. then wednesday night i was physically forced to watch the deer hunter by my tutorial professor, who is nice, but still i was very nearly ill. omg that movie is soooo disturbing and sickening, and is it possible for them to swear any more than they do??? uuugghhhhh the thought of it still makes me shiver- i just cannot comprehend such violence, inhumane cruelty, physconess, deranged mentality, or downright (bad word)-ness. how is it really possible for people to be that way??? and more importantly, how was it possible for people in my class to not be moved in some way? it just is beyond my comprehension, and has made me lose some nights of sleep that would have been nice to have. you all know how not-a-violent-movie watcher i am. and not only that, we watched it at the professor's house, which was very friendly of her, but it was sort of homey, and that just pushed me overboard into homesickness. i never realised before this year how much of a sickness it really is- it is a painful disease that just overwhelms you at times until i can't even function. i never expected it could get that bad. and no one else seems to be feeling it, so i sometimes feel like i am the only one not able to enjoy some things and then people don't want to be around me, cause i'm not much fun. which makes it even worse! and then to compound the movie thing, i guess my professor noticed by inability to talk or think or move or socialise in any way after it, cause the next morning in class, in front of the entire class, she asks if i am over the movie and doing ok. whihc is entirely an ok thing to ask, but not in front of the entire class for goodness sakes! now they all know how totally wimpy and sensitive i can be when confronted with that kind of thing, and agh it was soooo embarassing. i was so irritated that she announced to everyone my weakness, and i admit it is a weakness, but still, did everyone have to know?
(good part)
but now the week is looking somewhat better (partially becasue it is over, i suppose). the sun has come out for the first time since I have been back, and it is just amazing how nice that is. i think i did well on the physics test i just took, my mom sent the correct music finally, and i am tired enough i should be able to not think about the movie tonight! i still wish i was home for halloweed- this will be the first year since i was like born that we haven't carved pumpkins as a family together, but my brother sent me this really nice halloween card, so i do know he misses it too. added to that, i am done with classes for today, because french got cancelled! so i am free........ to start homework :)
don't you wish sometime that there were people here who could just give you a hug when you are feeling down? i do....but there hasn't been enough time to make those kinds of friends yet here! and california is just so far away.....so i guess patience is needed...and things will get better :). one thing i've found so far, is that for the most part, it isn't that i am unhappy, it is just that i am not happy. this week of course is an exception, but yea. ok, time to be cheerful!!!! yea for the weekend!!!!
*hug* for anyone else who is homesick this weekend! and happy halloween.
this week has been totally crappy, just to let you know, but now it is finally getting better.
(bad part)
it started out bad for one thing- i found out i left these important pieces of music at home. then i had two tests, and it rained all week. and i hate being wet and sitting in class. then wednesday night i was physically forced to watch the deer hunter by my tutorial professor, who is nice, but still i was very nearly ill. omg that movie is soooo disturbing and sickening, and is it possible for them to swear any more than they do??? uuugghhhhh the thought of it still makes me shiver- i just cannot comprehend such violence, inhumane cruelty, physconess, deranged mentality, or downright (bad word)-ness. how is it really possible for people to be that way??? and more importantly, how was it possible for people in my class to not be moved in some way? it just is beyond my comprehension, and has made me lose some nights of sleep that would have been nice to have. you all know how not-a-violent-movie watcher i am. and not only that, we watched it at the professor's house, which was very friendly of her, but it was sort of homey, and that just pushed me overboard into homesickness. i never realised before this year how much of a sickness it really is- it is a painful disease that just overwhelms you at times until i can't even function. i never expected it could get that bad. and no one else seems to be feeling it, so i sometimes feel like i am the only one not able to enjoy some things and then people don't want to be around me, cause i'm not much fun. which makes it even worse! and then to compound the movie thing, i guess my professor noticed by inability to talk or think or move or socialise in any way after it, cause the next morning in class, in front of the entire class, she asks if i am over the movie and doing ok. whihc is entirely an ok thing to ask, but not in front of the entire class for goodness sakes! now they all know how totally wimpy and sensitive i can be when confronted with that kind of thing, and agh it was soooo embarassing. i was so irritated that she announced to everyone my weakness, and i admit it is a weakness, but still, did everyone have to know?
(good part)
but now the week is looking somewhat better (partially becasue it is over, i suppose). the sun has come out for the first time since I have been back, and it is just amazing how nice that is. i think i did well on the physics test i just took, my mom sent the correct music finally, and i am tired enough i should be able to not think about the movie tonight! i still wish i was home for halloweed- this will be the first year since i was like born that we haven't carved pumpkins as a family together, but my brother sent me this really nice halloween card, so i do know he misses it too. added to that, i am done with classes for today, because french got cancelled! so i am free........ to start homework :)
don't you wish sometime that there were people here who could just give you a hug when you are feeling down? i do....but there hasn't been enough time to make those kinds of friends yet here! and california is just so far away.....so i guess patience is needed...and things will get better :). one thing i've found so far, is that for the most part, it isn't that i am unhappy, it is just that i am not happy. this week of course is an exception, but yea. ok, time to be cheerful!!!! yea for the weekend!!!!
*hug* for anyone else who is homesick this weekend! and happy halloween.