All I Need ( Fringe, PG-13)
Title: All I Need
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers:All of S3, including some from the 'Firefly' preview
Pairings/Characters: Peter, Olivia, Astrid, Nina, and Walter, Peter/Olivia, Olivia/Nina friendship, Peter/Nina family.
Summary: He didn't know what to think of anything anymore. He didn’t know who to trust either, and that was part of the whole problem.
Warnings: Some swearing. It's kind of dark.
Disclaimers: I do not own. All rights are reserved to Fox and JJ Abrams and Bad Robot Productions, etc, etc. Song is 'All I Need' by Within Temptation.
Peter had been in a coma for two days at the hospital floor at Massive Dynamic, and everyone was stressed. Astrid had been on a baking spree awhile back, and now she had started up again. Walter took a lot of the stuff home, Olivia wouldn’t eat, but took what she was offered out of politeness. Out of all of them, she had been at his bedside the most. Not that that really surprised any of them, but she hadn’t slept in 24 hours ( Broyles made her go home after the first day to get at least a couple hours rest, telling her he’d stay with Peter himself), and it was taking it’s toll. Walter would join her every once in awhile. Astrid would stop by and tell her to go get coffee, take a break. As the third day dawned, she looked up from her hunched position in the chair next to his bed, eyes hopeful, only to drop when she still saw no change. This couldn’t be how it ended. She refused to believe that this was how it ended. It couldn’t be… not before they patched things up.
I’m here on the edge again,
I wish I could let it go,
I know I’m only one step away,
From turning around,
Five days had passed, and there were no signs of him regaining consciousness. Olivia had gone home, but only for a few hours, before coming back to the hospital. Astrid brought her paperwork from work, and coffee. Walter brought food to eat, and made her eat something .
“You’re getting too thin. I know it’s only been a few days, but I can tell.” Olivia smiled at his concern. Nina visited often, and offered to stay with him while Olivia went to rest, but she always declined. One day Nina stayed with her, looking on with concern.
“You know…” Nina began, after an hour and a half of silence. “ As a kid, Peter was always tough, a strong, old soul. Right up to his death. And I was always pleased to see that our Peter was just like him. Smart, also an old soul, strong. But he also has a flaw that not many people know of.”
“ Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Olivia was surprised to hear her voice, rasping.
“For all his good qualities, for all the strength and effort he puts into them, you could say that his emotions are equally present. As paranoid as he is, he wants to trust people because he‘s been betrayed all his life. He just wants to find someone, something to believe in. He thought he had found something, but then even that was ripped away.” Olivia felt a pang in her heart. She knew what Nina was talking about.
Can you still see,
The heart of me,
All my agony fades away,
As you hold me in your embrace,
“I understand why you are upset with him. ” Nina said after a pause. “I know your side of the story too. But … I guess it‘s my protectiveness of Peter might be making me say this… believe me Agent Dunham, whatever pain you‘ve been going through, he‘s going through worse. And before you say anything, yes Peter was stupid, not recognizing that she wasn‘t you. ” Olivia could swear she saw a hint of a knowing look/smirk on her face, but she had to be seeing things. “ I’m not denying that that was bad, but I am asking one thing…”
“And what’s that?” Olivia asked, voice still quite raspy.
“Go a bit easier on him. He’s in pain too.” Olivia looked over at Peter, then back to Nina, and nodded.
Don’t tear me down,
What’s left of me ,
Make my heart a better place,
Give me something I can believe,
Don’t tear it down,
What’s left of me,
Make my heart a better place,
It was 12 am , seventh day he’d been in a coma, when the seizure happened. His heart rate spiked dangerously, and his body shook violently. To this day, Olivia could say in all honesty that she had never seen anything so frightening then that. The doctors rushed in with the nurses, and Olivia felt herself being pushed out of the room as Peter was being tended to. Olivia watched through the window, her heart pounding. Seeing the man you loved with all your heart, having a violent seizure, possibly…dying… no, he wasn’t dying. He couldn’t be dying. She wouldn’t let him die.
“Peter Bishop you bastard, you better not die.” Olivia said to herself, stone set in her place outside the window. “I can’t allow another person I love to die on me.”
Relief washed over her when the doctors got Peter stabilized. For now, he was ok. She felt a familiar presence behind her and she turned around to see Walter, panicked, and looking just as tired as she was.
“I heard he had a seizure. A bad one. I came down as soon as I heard I…” Olivia couldn’t help but notice he was wearing the same sweater vest he had been wearing a few days ago. His pants, the ones he was wearing a couple of days ago. His undershirt, the one he wore the day before. He hadn’t left Massive Dynamic the entire time.
“You’ve been here the whole time as well.” it was a statement, not a question. “You were up in your office on the top floor.” he nodded silently. “He‘s alright.” she began. “For now.” She knew lying to Walter would just be a mistake. Another nod from the concerned adoptive father from the man in the hospital bed, and Olivia felt the tears rise inside her. “Astrid?”
“She goes home every other day. She brings bake food. My…my entire office is filled with pastries and cakes. Although…” Olivia felt her heart break for the man in front of her. He looked worse then when Peter went off after finding out he was from the other side.
“He’ll be fine Walter, you’ll see. He won’t leave us.” That moment was so private, so intimate, she would remember it forever. They had a connection , her and Walter, beyond the cortexiphan treatments and the Fringe team. They were a family, and a member of their family was hurt, but they wouldn’t let that person die. They wouldn’t let that person leave them.
After they sat with Peter for awhile, and Walter was, for the time being, alright with his son’s current condition, he left to go get some sleep on the cot he had had brought up into his office. Now, Olivia was alone with him. She felt silly, doing what she was about to do. She doubted he could hear her. But she had to try something…
“Peter.” she began “ Peter, I know you probably cannot hear me, but there’s something I need to say to you. Something important.” she scooted closer to the bed and took one of his hands. “Peter, I hate you. I hate you for being able to get through that wall I built. I hate you for breaking through it like it was made out of flimsy paper. I hate you for understanding me better then anyone. For pushing it , for insisting to help, for breaking through the layers of that wall not even John could break through. I hate how easy it was for me to fall into that charming demeanor. I hate how… I hate how I was probably in love with you from the beginning but I kept denying it because…because my heart has been broken so many times, and I just … it’s difficult for me to allow those things in and…” Olivia rested her forehead on his hand, and let those tears that had been threatening to come out, finally fall. “I hate that despite everything, despite what happened with her, I’m still in love with you, and I can’t do this without you Peter. Please…”
When Peter opened his eyes, his surroundings were unfamiliar, yet he felt like he knew them. A valley, green grass swaying in the wind. There was a river in the distance. The sky was dark, gloomy. Thunder and lightening lit the scene and provided a violent, loud boom that shook the ground. He was standing under a lone tree. A weeping willow…how appropriate.
‘You have a rather dark subconscious Peter.’ Peter turned around to see Olivia, or, what he was guessing his mind’s apparition of her, leaning against the tree. He walked closer to her, and she sat down, he sat next to her.
‘I take it I’m probably in a coma, right?’ she nodded. ‘Of course, how can I be certain. I might be dead.’
‘True.’ Olivia admitted, her back leaning against the tree, her eyes staring ahead of them. ‘I’m just part of your subconscious, this could be your odd version of heaven.’
‘Or hell.’ Peter cut in.
‘I think you’re gonna go to heaven.’ Olivia replied.
‘My mind is arguing with myself, how very Walter.’ Olivia turned and smiled at him.
‘You need to wake up Peter. They’re waiting for you out there you know.’ she had a serious expression on her face. Fitting in such a gloomy landscape.
‘But what if me dying is the answer to the problem?’
‘It’s not. Don’t be stupid.’ she hissed. ‘There is another way. There has to be, remember? You can’t leave them Peter. You’re death won’t help them at all. It’d damage them beyond repair. Whether they’d admit it or not, they love you, and you are a big part of their lives.’ Peter looked at her, surprised. ‘I won’t admit it to you but I still love you. Although, I’m pretty sure that was never in question, was it?’ Peter shook his head. ‘I still need you Peter, whether I say that to you or not. Don’t leave me. Please.’
…
“Peter please, don‘t leave me.” Olivia whispered. “ We can work past this. I can’t assure you that it will be easy, nor will it happen too soon but…it has to happen.” Astrid leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her friends, her heart heavy with worry. She knew Olivia was crying. Why did things have to be so difficult for them?
I’ve tried many times but nothing was real,
Make it fade away,
Don’t tear me down,
I want to believe that this is for real,
Save me from my fear,
Don’t tear me down,
….
‘You better be right Dunham.’ he said to his mind’s projection. She smiled at him.
‘Of course I’m right, I’m your better half.’ she smirked at him and he smirked back. ‘Oh wipe that smirk off your face, you’re arrogant enough already.’
‘Yes, but that’s part of why you love me.’ she smiled at him.
‘Yes, yes it is. Now wake up you bastard, you’ve been out for a week.’ Olivia reprimanded, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up and walking off into the swirling clouds and lightening, disappearing .
….
“Olivia?” he inquired, his voice cracked, his entire body feeling weak.
Don’t tear me down,
For all I need,
Make my heart a better place,
“Peter?” Olivia’s head shot up just in time to see his eyes open, his eyes glassed over and out of it, but he was awake. “ Oh thank God.” she muttered before turning and calling for Astrid to go get Walter. “How are you feeling?” she asked, turning back to him.
“Like I got run down by a bulldozing ball and then shot in the stomach by some bald guy in a suit and top hat.” Peter replied honestly, trying to smile. This brought the tiniest of smiles onto her face. “You look tired.” he said, looking her over. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Have you been here the entire time I was out? How long have I been out anyway?”
“A week.” she replied. “ And I uh… haven’t been here the entire time per say. I was ordered to go home a few times to sleep.” She looked at him, and he looked at her. An entire conversation between them had just happened, and they didn’t have to say anything, not with words. “I’m glad you are alright Peter.”
Don’t tear me down,
For all I need,
Make my heart a better place,
Give me something I can believe,
Don’t tear me down,
What’s left of me,
Make my heart a better place,
‘I love you.’ Those words were spoken in the expressions in their eyes as they continued to look at one another, surprised that he had come through. Just as Walter came through the door, looking just as bad, if not worse then Olivia, Olivia gave Peter’s hand a squeeze, and he squeezed her hand back.
Make my heart a better place…
The End
The song, if you are interested in hearing it: All I Need by Within Temptation
A/N This took me FOREVER to write. I kept getting stuck. But some Fringe friends helped out, and I greatly appreciate it :)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers:All of S3, including some from the 'Firefly' preview
Pairings/Characters: Peter, Olivia, Astrid, Nina, and Walter, Peter/Olivia, Olivia/Nina friendship, Peter/Nina family.
Summary: He didn't know what to think of anything anymore. He didn’t know who to trust either, and that was part of the whole problem.
Warnings: Some swearing. It's kind of dark.
Disclaimers: I do not own. All rights are reserved to Fox and JJ Abrams and Bad Robot Productions, etc, etc. Song is 'All I Need' by Within Temptation.
Peter had been in a coma for two days at the hospital floor at Massive Dynamic, and everyone was stressed. Astrid had been on a baking spree awhile back, and now she had started up again. Walter took a lot of the stuff home, Olivia wouldn’t eat, but took what she was offered out of politeness. Out of all of them, she had been at his bedside the most. Not that that really surprised any of them, but she hadn’t slept in 24 hours ( Broyles made her go home after the first day to get at least a couple hours rest, telling her he’d stay with Peter himself), and it was taking it’s toll. Walter would join her every once in awhile. Astrid would stop by and tell her to go get coffee, take a break. As the third day dawned, she looked up from her hunched position in the chair next to his bed, eyes hopeful, only to drop when she still saw no change. This couldn’t be how it ended. She refused to believe that this was how it ended. It couldn’t be… not before they patched things up.
I’m here on the edge again,
I wish I could let it go,
I know I’m only one step away,
From turning around,
Five days had passed, and there were no signs of him regaining consciousness. Olivia had gone home, but only for a few hours, before coming back to the hospital. Astrid brought her paperwork from work, and coffee. Walter brought food to eat, and made her eat something .
“You’re getting too thin. I know it’s only been a few days, but I can tell.” Olivia smiled at his concern. Nina visited often, and offered to stay with him while Olivia went to rest, but she always declined. One day Nina stayed with her, looking on with concern.
“You know…” Nina began, after an hour and a half of silence. “ As a kid, Peter was always tough, a strong, old soul. Right up to his death. And I was always pleased to see that our Peter was just like him. Smart, also an old soul, strong. But he also has a flaw that not many people know of.”
“ Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Olivia was surprised to hear her voice, rasping.
“For all his good qualities, for all the strength and effort he puts into them, you could say that his emotions are equally present. As paranoid as he is, he wants to trust people because he‘s been betrayed all his life. He just wants to find someone, something to believe in. He thought he had found something, but then even that was ripped away.” Olivia felt a pang in her heart. She knew what Nina was talking about.
Can you still see,
The heart of me,
All my agony fades away,
As you hold me in your embrace,
“I understand why you are upset with him. ” Nina said after a pause. “I know your side of the story too. But … I guess it‘s my protectiveness of Peter might be making me say this… believe me Agent Dunham, whatever pain you‘ve been going through, he‘s going through worse. And before you say anything, yes Peter was stupid, not recognizing that she wasn‘t you. ” Olivia could swear she saw a hint of a knowing look/smirk on her face, but she had to be seeing things. “ I’m not denying that that was bad, but I am asking one thing…”
“And what’s that?” Olivia asked, voice still quite raspy.
“Go a bit easier on him. He’s in pain too.” Olivia looked over at Peter, then back to Nina, and nodded.
Don’t tear me down,
What’s left of me ,
Make my heart a better place,
Give me something I can believe,
Don’t tear it down,
What’s left of me,
Make my heart a better place,
It was 12 am , seventh day he’d been in a coma, when the seizure happened. His heart rate spiked dangerously, and his body shook violently. To this day, Olivia could say in all honesty that she had never seen anything so frightening then that. The doctors rushed in with the nurses, and Olivia felt herself being pushed out of the room as Peter was being tended to. Olivia watched through the window, her heart pounding. Seeing the man you loved with all your heart, having a violent seizure, possibly…dying… no, he wasn’t dying. He couldn’t be dying. She wouldn’t let him die.
“Peter Bishop you bastard, you better not die.” Olivia said to herself, stone set in her place outside the window. “I can’t allow another person I love to die on me.”
Relief washed over her when the doctors got Peter stabilized. For now, he was ok. She felt a familiar presence behind her and she turned around to see Walter, panicked, and looking just as tired as she was.
“I heard he had a seizure. A bad one. I came down as soon as I heard I…” Olivia couldn’t help but notice he was wearing the same sweater vest he had been wearing a few days ago. His pants, the ones he was wearing a couple of days ago. His undershirt, the one he wore the day before. He hadn’t left Massive Dynamic the entire time.
“You’ve been here the whole time as well.” it was a statement, not a question. “You were up in your office on the top floor.” he nodded silently. “He‘s alright.” she began. “For now.” She knew lying to Walter would just be a mistake. Another nod from the concerned adoptive father from the man in the hospital bed, and Olivia felt the tears rise inside her. “Astrid?”
“She goes home every other day. She brings bake food. My…my entire office is filled with pastries and cakes. Although…” Olivia felt her heart break for the man in front of her. He looked worse then when Peter went off after finding out he was from the other side.
“He’ll be fine Walter, you’ll see. He won’t leave us.” That moment was so private, so intimate, she would remember it forever. They had a connection , her and Walter, beyond the cortexiphan treatments and the Fringe team. They were a family, and a member of their family was hurt, but they wouldn’t let that person die. They wouldn’t let that person leave them.
After they sat with Peter for awhile, and Walter was, for the time being, alright with his son’s current condition, he left to go get some sleep on the cot he had had brought up into his office. Now, Olivia was alone with him. She felt silly, doing what she was about to do. She doubted he could hear her. But she had to try something…
“Peter.” she began “ Peter, I know you probably cannot hear me, but there’s something I need to say to you. Something important.” she scooted closer to the bed and took one of his hands. “Peter, I hate you. I hate you for being able to get through that wall I built. I hate you for breaking through it like it was made out of flimsy paper. I hate you for understanding me better then anyone. For pushing it , for insisting to help, for breaking through the layers of that wall not even John could break through. I hate how easy it was for me to fall into that charming demeanor. I hate how… I hate how I was probably in love with you from the beginning but I kept denying it because…because my heart has been broken so many times, and I just … it’s difficult for me to allow those things in and…” Olivia rested her forehead on his hand, and let those tears that had been threatening to come out, finally fall. “I hate that despite everything, despite what happened with her, I’m still in love with you, and I can’t do this without you Peter. Please…”
When Peter opened his eyes, his surroundings were unfamiliar, yet he felt like he knew them. A valley, green grass swaying in the wind. There was a river in the distance. The sky was dark, gloomy. Thunder and lightening lit the scene and provided a violent, loud boom that shook the ground. He was standing under a lone tree. A weeping willow…how appropriate.
‘You have a rather dark subconscious Peter.’ Peter turned around to see Olivia, or, what he was guessing his mind’s apparition of her, leaning against the tree. He walked closer to her, and she sat down, he sat next to her.
‘I take it I’m probably in a coma, right?’ she nodded. ‘Of course, how can I be certain. I might be dead.’
‘True.’ Olivia admitted, her back leaning against the tree, her eyes staring ahead of them. ‘I’m just part of your subconscious, this could be your odd version of heaven.’
‘Or hell.’ Peter cut in.
‘I think you’re gonna go to heaven.’ Olivia replied.
‘My mind is arguing with myself, how very Walter.’ Olivia turned and smiled at him.
‘You need to wake up Peter. They’re waiting for you out there you know.’ she had a serious expression on her face. Fitting in such a gloomy landscape.
‘But what if me dying is the answer to the problem?’
‘It’s not. Don’t be stupid.’ she hissed. ‘There is another way. There has to be, remember? You can’t leave them Peter. You’re death won’t help them at all. It’d damage them beyond repair. Whether they’d admit it or not, they love you, and you are a big part of their lives.’ Peter looked at her, surprised. ‘I won’t admit it to you but I still love you. Although, I’m pretty sure that was never in question, was it?’ Peter shook his head. ‘I still need you Peter, whether I say that to you or not. Don’t leave me. Please.’
…
“Peter please, don‘t leave me.” Olivia whispered. “ We can work past this. I can’t assure you that it will be easy, nor will it happen too soon but…it has to happen.” Astrid leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her friends, her heart heavy with worry. She knew Olivia was crying. Why did things have to be so difficult for them?
I’ve tried many times but nothing was real,
Make it fade away,
Don’t tear me down,
I want to believe that this is for real,
Save me from my fear,
Don’t tear me down,
….
‘You better be right Dunham.’ he said to his mind’s projection. She smiled at him.
‘Of course I’m right, I’m your better half.’ she smirked at him and he smirked back. ‘Oh wipe that smirk off your face, you’re arrogant enough already.’
‘Yes, but that’s part of why you love me.’ she smiled at him.
‘Yes, yes it is. Now wake up you bastard, you’ve been out for a week.’ Olivia reprimanded, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up and walking off into the swirling clouds and lightening, disappearing .
….
“Olivia?” he inquired, his voice cracked, his entire body feeling weak.
Don’t tear me down,
For all I need,
Make my heart a better place,
“Peter?” Olivia’s head shot up just in time to see his eyes open, his eyes glassed over and out of it, but he was awake. “ Oh thank God.” she muttered before turning and calling for Astrid to go get Walter. “How are you feeling?” she asked, turning back to him.
“Like I got run down by a bulldozing ball and then shot in the stomach by some bald guy in a suit and top hat.” Peter replied honestly, trying to smile. This brought the tiniest of smiles onto her face. “You look tired.” he said, looking her over. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Have you been here the entire time I was out? How long have I been out anyway?”
“A week.” she replied. “ And I uh… haven’t been here the entire time per say. I was ordered to go home a few times to sleep.” She looked at him, and he looked at her. An entire conversation between them had just happened, and they didn’t have to say anything, not with words. “I’m glad you are alright Peter.”
Don’t tear me down,
For all I need,
Make my heart a better place,
Give me something I can believe,
Don’t tear me down,
What’s left of me,
Make my heart a better place,
‘I love you.’ Those words were spoken in the expressions in their eyes as they continued to look at one another, surprised that he had come through. Just as Walter came through the door, looking just as bad, if not worse then Olivia, Olivia gave Peter’s hand a squeeze, and he squeezed her hand back.
Make my heart a better place…
The End
The song, if you are interested in hearing it: All I Need by Within Temptation
A/N This took me FOREVER to write. I kept getting stuck. But some Fringe friends helped out, and I greatly appreciate it :)