all's well that ends well by einsoff nc-13
Title: All’s well that ends well
Author: einsoff
Website: -
Fandom: Sports Night
Pairing: Dan/Casey
Rating: nc-13
Summary: Dan’s the king of all that he sees, Casey get’s a tattoo.
Inspired by
catwalksalone‘s porn
I
All’s well in the kingdom of Dan.
The land’s in bloom. (“Not another New York renaissance, Dan. “).
The maidens are fair. (“No, I do not want to hear about your torrid one night encounter with the leggy brunette from legal.”)
His presence radiates an undeniable regal aura that neutralizes Casiness. (“Majestic is not the word I’d use to describe you”)
But the jewel on his monarchs’ crown is the public affirmation of his coolness.
“Listen to this. ‘Daniel Rydell’ Daniel! Casey, not Dan, not Danny, Daniel! ‘A Sports anchor at sports night, was spotted backstage in a Neil Young Concert.’ ‘People weekly’ magazine. What do you say to that?”
“That’s very impressive.”
They enter the changing room.
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean exactly what I said: that’s very impressive.”
“You’re humoring me.”
“I’m not.”
“You are! You’re being condescending.”
“I’m not. I honestly congratulate you on this recognition.”
“Don’t you mean to say, that ‘People weekly’ is a bottom-dwelling magazine, that’s targeted at the lowest possible common denominator, and is a blatant road sign of a declining star-crazed society?”
“No.”
“No.” Dan rethinks “What you meant to say is that only the uncool need their coolness acknowledged.”
“Nope.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying: that’s very impressive.”
“I don’t get it, where’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch Danny.”
“Sure there is. Wait, what was that?”
Casey puts on his blouse after removing his sweater.
“What was what?”
“That thing on your back, that’s too big and well defined to be a birth mark.”
“Oh that.” Casey opts for nonchalance “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Funny, because from here it looked like a tattoo.”
“It’s not.”
“It’s not?”
“Well maybe it is.”
“Is it a permanent tattoo or will it come off if I lick it?”
“Why would you lick it?”
“I might. I’m a very tactile person.”
“That’s very disturbing.”
“Answer the question.”
“It’s permanent. You got to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Why not?”
“That’s not exactly the pinnacle of my career.”
“Show me.”
“No”
“Come on show me! You know you want to”
“No”
“Is it a really embarrassing one? Is it a big red heart with your mothers’ name inside?”
“No.”
“Is it something girly: a fairy or a flower?”
“No.”
“Come on show me”
“No”
“Come on. Come on” Dan lowers his voice “Come on” changes it back. “Come on.”
“No. cut it out. And remember mum’s the word.”
They sit at the anchor desk.
“Not a word.” Dan promises.
Alison finishes makeup.
“Excuse me! Excuse me everyone.” Dan calls. “Before the show starts I have an announcement to make.”
“Is it about your New York renaissance?” Dana asks annoyed.
“No!”
“Is it about the leggy brunette?” Natalie tries.
“No. Casey got a permanent tattoo of my name.”
Casey buries his face in his hands.
“That’s very romantic.” Dana says.
“I do not have a tattoo of Dan’s name.” Casey calls out. “I hate you”.
II
All’s well in the kingdom of Dan.
The throne’s widely admired (“she asked you to move your chair, not for you autograph”)
The treasury’s full to the brim. (“No Dan I’m not paying for this round”)
And the king is erudite and wise (“for the last time Dan, your script was fine”)
“So when did you get it?” He asks Casey.
Casey reaches to grab his drink from the bar.
“Could you possibly, please, forget about it?”
“No such luck Casey.”
“Three days ago.”
“Were you having a midlife crisis?”
“I’m not middle-aged Dan.”
“No. but you’re quickly getting there.”
“If you must know I did it on a dare.”
“A dare?!?”
“I was on a date with Pixley and we were challenging each other. And I ended up doing that.”
“So you and Pixley? It’s getting serious.”
“No. No too serious.”
“You permanently scarred your body for someone you’re not that serious about?”
“She used to be a cheerleader.”
“And?”
“I never dated a cheerleader.”
“I was sure Lisa was a cheerleader.”
“No. Lisa was in the student body, later a treasurer. Cheerleaders don’t normally date gymnasts.”
“You’re reliving your high school years?”
“It was fun Danny. I try not to overanalyze it”
“So what did you dare her to do?”
“Who?”
“Pixley”
Casey grins evilly “A gentleman never tells.”
III
All’s well in the kingdom of Dan.
Even his foes succumb to his charms. (“Sam hardly even remembers your name.”)
The subjects are compliant. (“Dan I’m not your secretary, and stop looking down my shirt!”)
And the court’s full of laughter and jest (“Could we please have one smooth rundown.”)
“You want to get together after the show? I’ve taped last night’s game.” Dan says to Casey on their way to their office.
“I can’t. I have a date.”
“Pixley?”
“No. her name is Enika she’s an installation artist.”
“Enika?”
“It’s Swedish”
“You’re dating a Swedish installation artist?”
“She’s very successful.”
“I’m sure.”
“I met her at the Tattoo parlor.”
“While on a date with Pixley?”
“No I returned later to ask her out.”
“You’re dating someone you’ve met at a tattoo parlor?”
“Yes I am.”
“I’m impressed. Speaking of Tattoos, I still need to see yours.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”
“You know I’m just going to continue guessing until you’ll show it to me.”
“I’m not in the least bothered.”
“And spread ugly rumors about it around the office.”
“Still not bothered.”
“It’s a cartoon isn’t it? Tweety bird.”
“I’m ignoring you.”
“It is. Isn’t it? You got a giant headed yellow bird on your back.”
Casey walks away calmly.
“I’m gonna find out! I’ll take drastic measures if I have to.” Danny calls at his back.
IV
All’s well in the kingdom of Dan.
The heralds all carry good news. (“Dan this is the last time I answer your phone.”)
Many come baring gifts to the palace (“will you please give me back the camera you’ve burrowed”)
Love is blossoming all around. (“I’m sure the brunette is not screening your calls.”)
“So how was your date?” he asks Casey
“Have you ever heard of tantric sex?”
“Yes.”
“So has Enika.”
“So I take it, it went well.”
“It did.”
“Is last night the reason you’re scratching your chest.”
“Sort of.”
“Has it something to do with tantra?”
“Not directly.”
“Talk!”
“I sort of… kind of… pirmanibes” Casey mumbles under his breath.
“You did what?”
“Pierced my nipple o.k.?”
“She got you to pierce your nipple.”
“She said it enhances pleasure.”
“In your nipple?”
“It’s an erogenous zone?”
“Well does it?”
“What?”
“Enhances pleasure?”
“Under the proper hands or rather mouth it does.”
V
Something is rotten in the state of Dan.
He is being usurped by another king. (“Casey just had better luck with his script. Maybe you’re having a day off.”)
The young maidens are not so pliant. (“Maybe she’d lost your number.)
The king’s wit is on trial. (“You’re being paranoid; Casey’s is not trying to take over your life.”)
“Are you talking to yourself?” Sam finally looks up at him.
“That’s what you’re supposed to say.”
“I’m sorry are we supposed to be having a conversation.”
“Yes. I tell you that Casey is devising a plan, to steal my identity, and you’re supposed to say ‘you’re just being paranoid, Casey’s not trying to take over your life’”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The new Yorker published an article about the new promising upcoming installation artist, who got her work displayed in MOMA. They interviewed her along with her new boyfriend- Mr. Casey McCall. They interviewed him about ART Sam. The man knows as much about art as I do about soccer.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You see Sam. Casey was always the mature and experienced one, the better paid one. And I was OK with that because I was always the cool one. But if Casey’s going to become the tattooed- Swedish installation artists dating- having tantric sex- one. What’ll be left for me?”
“No. What I don’t understand is what makes you think I care.”
“We’re friends.”
“Dan. After we married, my ex-wife was under the impression I wanted children. She was obviously wrong. It resulted in our divorce.”
“This is good, you’re sharing. We’re conversing intimately.”
“I may have a problem, I realize, sending out the wrong signals. Because here you are misguidedly thinking we’re friends.”
“I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to push me away to stop me from getting too close.”
“You’re right about the pushing away part, but somehow you’re still here.”
“That’s because you’re subconsciously enjoying my company. Now back to Casey. I figure I need to get him drunk.”
“Go away!”
“Yes! Definitely drunk. Thank you. I really think we’re getting closer don’t you?”
“Go away!”
“I’ll be back to report progress.”
“I’ll make sure I’m very far away when you do.”
VI
The kingdom is under siege. Upheaval’s at bay (“I just said I’m going to the bathroom”)
Extreme times call for extreme measures (“Jagermeister?”)
The king shall not rest till peace is restored. (“Sure I’ll take a third shot”)
“Jagermeister and football are not an obvious combination Danny.”
Casey and Dan make themselves comfortable on Danny’s couch.
“We had a very good show, you appeared in the New Yorker, we ought to celebrate.”
“Great, but you should know I now have a much better capacity for this stuff.”
“We’ll see about that. Another shot?”
“Sure”
Later…
“Why aren’t you drunk?”
“Why do you want me drunk?”
“I want to see your tattoo.”
“O.K”
“O.K?”
“O.K”
Casey gets up turns around and takes off his shirt. Danny gets up to have a better look.
“Shit”
Soft fingers are stroking Casey’s upper back.
“What?” Casey looks over his shoulder.
“It’s good.”
“Isn’t it?”
“It’s good, dammit; I really hoped it would be awful so I could use it against you.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
The soft touch of fingers is replaced by something just as soft but wetter.
“Did you just lick me?”
“I had to check.”
“It won’t come off, you can stop licking it.”
“Oh, this is part of plan B.”
“What’s plan B?”
“Well I’m hoping to find you make funny noises during sex.”
“You’d sleep with me just to find out I make funny noises?
“No. That would be an added bonus.”
“To what?”
“To actually sleeping with you.”
“Oh, OK.”
“I just offered you sex. Aren’t you not going to freak out?”
“Did you offer me sex just so I would lose my cool?”
“Did you just say yes to sex, to see if I’d go through with it?”
“No, I honestly want to sleep with you.”
“Even though you know I’d use the noises you make against you.”
“Yes.”
“You’re willing to sacrifice your cool just to sleep with me?”
“I’m willing to sacrifice much more than that.”
Danny grins and leans in to kiss Casey.
“So tantric sex?” he mumbles against Casey's neck.
“and erogenous zones.”
Dan takes a bite at the pierced nipple. “Show me!”
VII
All’s well in the kingdom of Dan (“Yeah Dan right there.”)
The court is jolly and gay (“Five times in one night? That’s impossible.”)
The Land is at peace once more. (“Wake up Dan I’m still hard.”)
And they live happily ever after.