(no subject)
Its sort of comical how things change. I can sit in my room contemplating, thats it, contemplating how things in general change, in a way they move forward. Just a year ago I'd consider myself a child, and now, I still consider myself a child, knowing that it makes me petrified how much things are going to change in the next couple months, and how astonishingly fast it will go by, or come. I don't know if anyone else feels the way I do, because when i'm sitting in class I feel all alone, every other student looks so sure of themselves, maybe its a cover, or maybe I give of that same ora, I don't know, but it all makes me so confused. From my parents, to my friends, to my teachers, and guidance counselors everyone of them has their own opinion of my future, some more sure than others, some contain more information, but which one to follow by? I don't know my game, I don't know my lead, or if I even have one. All I am for sure is that I am supposed to be at Fort Myers High at 7:45 a.m. on Saturday morning ready to take the SATs, and i'm not ready for it one bit. The only college I have my eye on, the one I have my heart set on is UCF. But going by the records, I second guess myself more than others, and when I apply, I'll be waiting for the rejection letter. In school, i'm not sociable, I have a cumulative 3.4 G.P.A, not active in after or in school activities, I just go to school, to go. Right when I get to girst period, I just want to get to 3rd so I can work on my sculpting, and leave. I don't have anything that it takes to get into that college, but yet, won't do anything further to help myself, because I think I'm well adjusted with the person I am, and I don't want to change for something that I can go somewhere else and do. And the conclusion to that statement is that I am a firm believer that everyone is special in their own way, from student body president to the class clown, everyone deserves a chance to make their furture successful, not changing who they are or their beliefs, and still, have a college choose them for who they really are, and what they can accomplish, and not be judged on their SAT scores, or in school functions they've participated in. It's all Bologna.
The only one thing I am certain on is that I will have someone by my side through it all. Honestly, I know how certain people feel about me, and I would love nothing more than to change their opinion, or make it up to them. But, I get to thinking about it, and i'm not crying constantly, or in therapy sessions for unexpressed feelings, I am happy, and to me, it means the world just to say it out loud. There are people who I want to follow me, because when I do go to college I don't want to be alone, but I know everyone has plans for their-selves, and I'm not asking to change that. Every minute out of everyday, I think to myself, that my fear will never face me again, because Ryan, who I truly love, will follow. And it's not like i'm holding him back, because if I would leave him here and go to Orlando, the next day I know I would wake up to his face right next to mine, he's extreme and I love it. I can never express to anyone how wonderful it feels knowing I have him, knowing that this is love, and knowing that nothing will tear it apart. I don't care what people say, or what they think, because I know what love is, or our love, and being happy, it blocks everyones assumptions out. The base of this post on this certain topic is that i'm scared of growing, up or old, but comforted knowing I have him by my side, it makes things less scary. He will probably make a fuss about this, but I don't care, I just want to show the world how korny love really is, and then, just wait you'll anticipate for it. And he wrote:
I ‘am writing this song in tune with the beat of your heart
Hating the days that we spend Reluctantly Apart.
I want to tell you how much I love you
But I don’t know how to start
So let me Whisper in capsules and send them in poison Darts.
You find me beautiful
Even when the Mirror Shattered
You love me through thick and thin
Even when my clothes are tattered.
I climbed the ladder
And you were at the top to greet me
Take my Hand Baby
Please don’t let the Shadows Eat me.
They won’t stop following me
But I won’t let them beat me
I got you on my side
And I trust you completely
Ill love you even after death
And you’ll always be my sweet pea.
I’m Sleepy I’m going to hit the sack
Baby you’re my Best Friend and I always got your back
Through Mazda’s And Cadillac’s
I could see your beauty
Even If I Had Cataracts
And that’s a fact
So don’t ever feel Lonely
Because my love for you is Far from Phony
So if you ever second guess it
Now that’s Bologna
Thats the only sure thing I know.
He loves me.
The only one thing I am certain on is that I will have someone by my side through it all. Honestly, I know how certain people feel about me, and I would love nothing more than to change their opinion, or make it up to them. But, I get to thinking about it, and i'm not crying constantly, or in therapy sessions for unexpressed feelings, I am happy, and to me, it means the world just to say it out loud. There are people who I want to follow me, because when I do go to college I don't want to be alone, but I know everyone has plans for their-selves, and I'm not asking to change that. Every minute out of everyday, I think to myself, that my fear will never face me again, because Ryan, who I truly love, will follow. And it's not like i'm holding him back, because if I would leave him here and go to Orlando, the next day I know I would wake up to his face right next to mine, he's extreme and I love it. I can never express to anyone how wonderful it feels knowing I have him, knowing that this is love, and knowing that nothing will tear it apart. I don't care what people say, or what they think, because I know what love is, or our love, and being happy, it blocks everyones assumptions out. The base of this post on this certain topic is that i'm scared of growing, up or old, but comforted knowing I have him by my side, it makes things less scary. He will probably make a fuss about this, but I don't care, I just want to show the world how korny love really is, and then, just wait you'll anticipate for it. And he wrote:
I ‘am writing this song in tune with the beat of your heart
Hating the days that we spend Reluctantly Apart.
I want to tell you how much I love you
But I don’t know how to start
So let me Whisper in capsules and send them in poison Darts.
You find me beautiful
Even when the Mirror Shattered
You love me through thick and thin
Even when my clothes are tattered.
I climbed the ladder
And you were at the top to greet me
Take my Hand Baby
Please don’t let the Shadows Eat me.
They won’t stop following me
But I won’t let them beat me
I got you on my side
And I trust you completely
Ill love you even after death
And you’ll always be my sweet pea.
I’m Sleepy I’m going to hit the sack
Baby you’re my Best Friend and I always got your back
Through Mazda’s And Cadillac’s
I could see your beauty
Even If I Had Cataracts
And that’s a fact
So don’t ever feel Lonely
Because my love for you is Far from Phony
So if you ever second guess it
Now that’s Bologna
Thats the only sure thing I know.
He loves me.