Take 3
Girlfriend thing fell apart again. Again, she gave no real reason as to the breakup. Again, she did it remotely (cell phone text instead of email this time) rather than to my face.
The sad thing is... I'm kinda okay with it. She had some issues, I think. One being intimacy; I never so much as got a French kiss out of her, much less anything more intimate. When a girlfriend keeps you at arm's length for three months straight, there's something wrong there, it would seem. A second issue is that she had a habit of shutting down when life didn't go her way. She just didn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with things that she simply can not change.
I guess the only disappointment is that I got my hopes up and wasted 3 months of my life trying to make things work with this girl. Oh, well. Lesson learned.
Doesn't help that the rest of my life is falling apart, as well. Got stabbed in the back by so many folks in so many ways in the past three or four months, I can count on one hand alone the number of friends I can trust not to do it anymore. And half of them don't live close enough to be of much help or comfort.
But life does this sometimes. I was riding pretty high for a few months, so I guess now I only have to suffer a low for a few weeks or so. I hope, anyway.
The good news is that within a year, I will be on my own again. Roommate issues finally came to a head, things happened much as I predicted, and now there we are at an impasse. But truthfully... it isn't even about the roommate. I've been downgrading my lifestyle continually since I got a roommate. I shouldn't have to do that. I should be able to be comfortable, with all my worldly possessions, in the living space I have. The fact that I am not comfortable any longer, and that the roommate is suggesting that I have to get rid of things in order to be comfortable living with them, is a clear sign that I need to get the fuck out and be on my own again.
I was angry with the person at first, but now it's become a practical thing. I refuse to give up the furniture I've spent nearly a decade now accumulating, and the time has come for me to set up my nest in a bigger tree. If this pisses off the roommate, they can just deal with it, because as of now I refuse to downgrade my life for the sake of others.
Am I being selfish? I don't think so. Everyone who knows me knows I do plenty for others. It is now my belief that I'm entitled to both the respect my actions have earned, and to the very small creature comforts I earn. If my small creatures comforts impeded with those of another human being, they need to live in their own place, and I need to live in mine.
Robert Frost noted "good fences make good neighbors".
Truer words were never spoken.
The sad thing is... I'm kinda okay with it. She had some issues, I think. One being intimacy; I never so much as got a French kiss out of her, much less anything more intimate. When a girlfriend keeps you at arm's length for three months straight, there's something wrong there, it would seem. A second issue is that she had a habit of shutting down when life didn't go her way. She just didn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with things that she simply can not change.
I guess the only disappointment is that I got my hopes up and wasted 3 months of my life trying to make things work with this girl. Oh, well. Lesson learned.
Doesn't help that the rest of my life is falling apart, as well. Got stabbed in the back by so many folks in so many ways in the past three or four months, I can count on one hand alone the number of friends I can trust not to do it anymore. And half of them don't live close enough to be of much help or comfort.
But life does this sometimes. I was riding pretty high for a few months, so I guess now I only have to suffer a low for a few weeks or so. I hope, anyway.
The good news is that within a year, I will be on my own again. Roommate issues finally came to a head, things happened much as I predicted, and now there we are at an impasse. But truthfully... it isn't even about the roommate. I've been downgrading my lifestyle continually since I got a roommate. I shouldn't have to do that. I should be able to be comfortable, with all my worldly possessions, in the living space I have. The fact that I am not comfortable any longer, and that the roommate is suggesting that I have to get rid of things in order to be comfortable living with them, is a clear sign that I need to get the fuck out and be on my own again.
I was angry with the person at first, but now it's become a practical thing. I refuse to give up the furniture I've spent nearly a decade now accumulating, and the time has come for me to set up my nest in a bigger tree. If this pisses off the roommate, they can just deal with it, because as of now I refuse to downgrade my life for the sake of others.
Am I being selfish? I don't think so. Everyone who knows me knows I do plenty for others. It is now my belief that I'm entitled to both the respect my actions have earned, and to the very small creature comforts I earn. If my small creatures comforts impeded with those of another human being, they need to live in their own place, and I need to live in mine.
Robert Frost noted "good fences make good neighbors".
Truer words were never spoken.