(no subject)

Oct 26, 2006 23:46

It's winter. It's cold. AND I DON'T LIKE IT >>;
Give me back my sunny days ;;

I need to get on top of many many things, yet I rediscover my laziness time and again lately, almost too often... Almost? WAY too often.
I also want to change my icon at LJ, I redid my hair-cut to something I don't like and that really emphasises the way my hair goes all puffy when it's dry, but I decided it'll just encourage me to let it grow long and then I'll be able to see if long hair really doesn't suit me as I've come to the conclusion last time it was long... That doesn't make any sense does it ^^;

Anyways, my icon is no longer relevant to the way I look and so it has to go. Throw it out. Flush it down the loo. Click the "delete" button. etc.

I also have this unwavering feeling of incompetence, as if there are so many things I can do yet I don't do them and because of that I'll have less ability to do them in the future is. That doesn't seem to make much sense either.

A lot of things don't seem to make sense actually. But that I guess just reality in it's true form o.o;

I sent an e-mail to the head of the Youth Award Organization of the Asian region, asking her to help me make contact with youth who participate in the Youth Award of Japan. (you can google for it if you really want to know what that is, it'll be too long and boring to explain it :P) Hopefully something would come of it, and even if it won't- at least I tried ^_^;

I also have this bad feeling that I'm very incapable when it comes to communicating with others... either I feel I'm not funny enough, or not interesting enough or just don't seem to know how to be as appealing as others are.
Mom says it's because I've always been acting a little more mature for my age than others (meaning I'll have the mentality of an old person by the time I reach 30 -.-). I say that I'm just boring o.o

The thing is I only get that feeling on online conversations. Which in a way it's not bad because it encourages me to go out more often and stay less on the computer. It kinda sucks since t kinda means I have less contact with internet people (aka forum ppl, random ppl etc.), but then again it also means I have to communicate in the good old ways which are way more fun like phone calls, mail, going to people houses...
Oh who am I kidding, this sucks and I have no time for the damned "good old ways" ._.

Me=Failure

and yes I'm developing an attitude problem >
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