College Campus Magazine Articles
These are the two articles my college magazine published last semester, that I wrote.
"How to be Arrogant"
What is confidence? Confidence basically means to be certain of an idea, thought or opinion. This can also apply to a state of being, in which you are confident in yourself. To be confident in an idea requires little effort. As long as you have decent logic and concrete examples backing up your statement, you'll be fine. Being self-confident, on the other hand, can only be achieved through years of practice, a high threshold for pain (emotional, not physical) and incomprehensible will power. For the few of you already comfortable with yourselves; move on, for the many who can't bear to look at themselves in the mirror without wanting to stick a finger down your throat; move on as well, that's one problem I can't fix. This article is for those of you who lack egotism. Self confidence depends not only on what you think of yourself, but what others think of you as well. I will teach you to embrace yourself, to love yourself, to worship yourself and expect others to do the same.
Everyone is unique. No two people are alike. We can have similar appearances, or personalities, but there is literally an infinite ways to make up a human being, you'll never find someone exactly like yourself. Learn to accept this concept. This doesn't mean we're all alone in this world, quite the contrary in fact; this world is full to the brim with people of different backgrounds, and experiences. Take this into consideration when evaluating yourself. There are many different definitions, and opinions, of beauty, talent, humor and success; while some are more apparent than others', there is most certainly someone who shares your definition. And while it is a cliché to say so, I'll say it anyways; just be yourself. Acting like someone else might make people like you and boost your confidence, but eventually you'll grow weary of constantly pretending to be someone you're not. You want to be confident in yourself, not someone else. Embrace who you are.
Treat other's as you would like to be treated; a very basic rule for living life successfully. But even more important is how you treat yourself. If you have a negative outlook on who you are, or who you have become, other's will start seeing you in the same light. Contrary to what you learn through movies and television, not many people pre-judge someone upon first meeting. If you act like, for a lack of a better word, a loser, then you will be treated like one. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, and you will be treated as such. Love yourself, and others will do the same.
By now you should have heard a small 'click' in your head as your mind is unlocked and open to new, and more positive, ideas. Everything was easy up till now, this is where the challenge really begins; worshiping yourself. Most every human is born naturally kind and able to empathize with another human. If raised under the wrong circumstances it is possible to produce something the complete opposite, but it's highly unlikely. Because of our default ability to empathize with others, it's near impossible to reach a level of narcissism where we literally worship ourselves. That's where the will power comes in. Force yourself to think you're better than everyone else. Scratch that-not just think, know you're better than them. You are the center of your universe, everything revolves around you. You experience the world from your point of view, and your point of view alone. Why should you treat others as your equals when this is your world? You are the god of this world, worship yourself and expect others to do the same.
"School Life Daze (Days)"
The woman slowly walked towards me, her hips swaying mesmerizingly with each step as she explored every exposed part of my body with her eyes. Her hair fluttered in the light breeze. I gulped. She stopped; her face inches away from mine and licked her lips teasingly; I braced myself. She closed her eyes and leaned in; her lips parted slightly. I did the same; cold. Was that water? I opened my eyes suddenly to find myself lying in a rather awkward position on my bed; drool flowing freely from my open mouth. I sighed disappointedly. Today already sucked.
As I fought back the urge to masturbate violently in the shower; I continued my daily routine silently. I skipped breakfast; what do I need calories for, I doubt I'd get laid on campus today. Although there's still always the possibility. Halting at the door; I ran back to grab a toaster strudel. I completed my 25 minute commute while listening to Britney Spears' “Womanizer”, all the while imagining myself surrounded by attractive women all around doing things to me you wouldn't even dare to imagine. I'd pop out of my fantasy only to give my “Whats up?” nod, to any women in the vicinity, hopefully wishing they'd climb out of their car and into mine in midst of traffic and engage in a random session of love making. I was disappointed once again. Today really sucked.
I arrived on campus like any other day; still woman-less. Making my way to my classes, I recounted the previous lectures trying desperately to remember if I had any assignments due today. I dismissed the thought; whatever it was it couldn't possibly affect my grade that much. I arrived a few minutes early, the classroom was alive with anxious chatter. Curious, I asked what the fuss was about; I really should have paid more attention in class; our paper was due today. Literal steam arose from my ears, as my mind went into overdrive thinking of suitable excuses. In the end I decided against the elaborate lie revolving around how my all my computers simultaneously froze up, along with my printer. Instead I left; it'd be pretty damn hard to collect my unfinished assignment if I'm not there.
I spent my newly acquired free time attempting to start the assignment I had so skillfully eluded; but to no avail. Time was against me; the heartless bitch. Glancing at the clock; I swore out loud as I rushed to my other classes only to encounter similar situations of me lacking a particular assignment. I found repeating the same lie, time after time only diminished its credibility; I once again ran to the safety of the computer lab to resume my work, which by all intents and purposes seemed damn near impossible to do. Time, clearly toying with me, crawled by.
For a reason completely unfathomable to me, I somehow made it through the day with an implied extension on all my assignments. Today looked brighter already. As I made my way to the car, I felt the oh-so-comforting sensation of an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders; I had plenty of time to finish those assignments now. Feeling a great sense of pride and accomplishment; I made my way home a new man. Everything was good. Dinner tasted better, music sounded sweeter and my bed felt cozier. As I lay down, I contemplated the following day, and what it had in store for me. I pushed these tedious thoughts out of my mind as I once again tried to recall the sultry, red dress wearing, mesmerizing hips swaying woman to my dreams.
Critiques?
They had a character limit so I couldn't write too much.
"How to be Arrogant"
What is confidence? Confidence basically means to be certain of an idea, thought or opinion. This can also apply to a state of being, in which you are confident in yourself. To be confident in an idea requires little effort. As long as you have decent logic and concrete examples backing up your statement, you'll be fine. Being self-confident, on the other hand, can only be achieved through years of practice, a high threshold for pain (emotional, not physical) and incomprehensible will power. For the few of you already comfortable with yourselves; move on, for the many who can't bear to look at themselves in the mirror without wanting to stick a finger down your throat; move on as well, that's one problem I can't fix. This article is for those of you who lack egotism. Self confidence depends not only on what you think of yourself, but what others think of you as well. I will teach you to embrace yourself, to love yourself, to worship yourself and expect others to do the same.
Everyone is unique. No two people are alike. We can have similar appearances, or personalities, but there is literally an infinite ways to make up a human being, you'll never find someone exactly like yourself. Learn to accept this concept. This doesn't mean we're all alone in this world, quite the contrary in fact; this world is full to the brim with people of different backgrounds, and experiences. Take this into consideration when evaluating yourself. There are many different definitions, and opinions, of beauty, talent, humor and success; while some are more apparent than others', there is most certainly someone who shares your definition. And while it is a cliché to say so, I'll say it anyways; just be yourself. Acting like someone else might make people like you and boost your confidence, but eventually you'll grow weary of constantly pretending to be someone you're not. You want to be confident in yourself, not someone else. Embrace who you are.
Treat other's as you would like to be treated; a very basic rule for living life successfully. But even more important is how you treat yourself. If you have a negative outlook on who you are, or who you have become, other's will start seeing you in the same light. Contrary to what you learn through movies and television, not many people pre-judge someone upon first meeting. If you act like, for a lack of a better word, a loser, then you will be treated like one. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, and you will be treated as such. Love yourself, and others will do the same.
By now you should have heard a small 'click' in your head as your mind is unlocked and open to new, and more positive, ideas. Everything was easy up till now, this is where the challenge really begins; worshiping yourself. Most every human is born naturally kind and able to empathize with another human. If raised under the wrong circumstances it is possible to produce something the complete opposite, but it's highly unlikely. Because of our default ability to empathize with others, it's near impossible to reach a level of narcissism where we literally worship ourselves. That's where the will power comes in. Force yourself to think you're better than everyone else. Scratch that-not just think, know you're better than them. You are the center of your universe, everything revolves around you. You experience the world from your point of view, and your point of view alone. Why should you treat others as your equals when this is your world? You are the god of this world, worship yourself and expect others to do the same.
"School Life Daze (Days)"
The woman slowly walked towards me, her hips swaying mesmerizingly with each step as she explored every exposed part of my body with her eyes. Her hair fluttered in the light breeze. I gulped. She stopped; her face inches away from mine and licked her lips teasingly; I braced myself. She closed her eyes and leaned in; her lips parted slightly. I did the same; cold. Was that water? I opened my eyes suddenly to find myself lying in a rather awkward position on my bed; drool flowing freely from my open mouth. I sighed disappointedly. Today already sucked.
As I fought back the urge to masturbate violently in the shower; I continued my daily routine silently. I skipped breakfast; what do I need calories for, I doubt I'd get laid on campus today. Although there's still always the possibility. Halting at the door; I ran back to grab a toaster strudel. I completed my 25 minute commute while listening to Britney Spears' “Womanizer”, all the while imagining myself surrounded by attractive women all around doing things to me you wouldn't even dare to imagine. I'd pop out of my fantasy only to give my “Whats up?” nod, to any women in the vicinity, hopefully wishing they'd climb out of their car and into mine in midst of traffic and engage in a random session of love making. I was disappointed once again. Today really sucked.
I arrived on campus like any other day; still woman-less. Making my way to my classes, I recounted the previous lectures trying desperately to remember if I had any assignments due today. I dismissed the thought; whatever it was it couldn't possibly affect my grade that much. I arrived a few minutes early, the classroom was alive with anxious chatter. Curious, I asked what the fuss was about; I really should have paid more attention in class; our paper was due today. Literal steam arose from my ears, as my mind went into overdrive thinking of suitable excuses. In the end I decided against the elaborate lie revolving around how my all my computers simultaneously froze up, along with my printer. Instead I left; it'd be pretty damn hard to collect my unfinished assignment if I'm not there.
I spent my newly acquired free time attempting to start the assignment I had so skillfully eluded; but to no avail. Time was against me; the heartless bitch. Glancing at the clock; I swore out loud as I rushed to my other classes only to encounter similar situations of me lacking a particular assignment. I found repeating the same lie, time after time only diminished its credibility; I once again ran to the safety of the computer lab to resume my work, which by all intents and purposes seemed damn near impossible to do. Time, clearly toying with me, crawled by.
For a reason completely unfathomable to me, I somehow made it through the day with an implied extension on all my assignments. Today looked brighter already. As I made my way to the car, I felt the oh-so-comforting sensation of an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders; I had plenty of time to finish those assignments now. Feeling a great sense of pride and accomplishment; I made my way home a new man. Everything was good. Dinner tasted better, music sounded sweeter and my bed felt cozier. As I lay down, I contemplated the following day, and what it had in store for me. I pushed these tedious thoughts out of my mind as I once again tried to recall the sultry, red dress wearing, mesmerizing hips swaying woman to my dreams.
Critiques?
They had a character limit so I couldn't write too much.