Ayn Rand
I am having a lot of trouble reading Ayn Rand. I have a feeling that her ideas might be true, and that's disturbing. Atheism, selfishness as a virtue, and anti-charity are all things which scare me but which seem fundamental to her way of life (called Objectivism
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Which is the major impasse Blue and I have reached. I've went back and forth on the subject, but I've ultimately accepted that I want to be a Christian, but I'm not. I have faith that there is a higher relevance to life, but I can't make the leap of faith that Christianity is the truth. I also get hung up on science. I can take genesis as parable and incorporate things like evolution into it. I can't accept genesis as black and white fact like most Christians do.
My vague understanding of the topics Kierkegaard and Tillich cover interest me, but I have no clue how enjoyable they are to read. Nothing worse when people kill cool concepts by making them an ache to read.
I don't know your eventual goal or what you hope to do with your degree, but I think you should weigh the potential impact the degree has on your overall goal in life VS. becoming a nun (if you can even be accepted as a male?). You've made it this far with school, you have your entire life to be a nun if you can. Make sure its what you want to do and not an appealing, romantic way to escape what you dislike about your current situation.
I don't know how much time you have for personal reading, but this novel is what recently rekindled interest in being a nun (Hunger's Brides). Its a pretty epic read and a hefty book with several entangled themese and plots, but she enjoyed it immensely. All I know is its about a famous nun/poetress and her more modern researcher and the drama of each's life. That its both very religous and also very, very dirty (a dichotomy you might appreciate, lol).
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