Kill Valentine's Day... please?
Valentine’s Day, what does it mean to me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s not a day to celebrate love, it’s an excuse for people to wear pink… or decorate with it. I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t find Valentine’s day to be very romantic. Seems to me like a cheap way out of being thoughtful the whole rest of the year. I’ve been told that Christmas is a very romantic time in Japan and I wonder why.
Everything’s more expensive (i.e. hotel rooms) and impossible to get without being aggressive. Why bother? I’ve often heard of Valentine’s Day being referred to as Singles Awareness Day (SAD). I think, unless I would go out of my way not to, that I would eventually forget that Valentine’s Day exists. I don’t like it, and I’m not entirely certain why. I hate it on days like this at work when people call and ask how I'm doing. "Fine." I want to get past all this pleasantry crap and get down to what they need and help them. No more small talk or it might drive me crazy.
Yes, I’m single. Yes, I’m alone. Yes, I feel worthless. But Valentine’s Day does nothing to help that, as many other singles have noticed, I’m sure. If only I had not allowed my attention to be drawn away from my everyday life this year, then I would not be sitting here slowly comprehending the futility of my life. It’s sad, and depressing. And I hate it. Why have I allowed this to happen? I don’t know. Why my permanent status as a singleton has been confirmed, I can only guess, each thought worse than the last one. Ugly, overweight, not appealing in any way and not serious enough about God.
I remain a child in God’s arms constantly struggling to understand who and what I am intended to be, but there’s no answer, or I’m too caught up to listen.
In conclusion, I hate Valentine’s Day. Were it not for this day I would have been too busy to give enough pause to consider my lonely condition.
10:37 AM