Fuck my life so much idont wanna live anymore
Hi journal.
Yup, I'm here which can mean only one thing. I am stressed and I wanna rant about something. It's sad isnt it that I cant told anyone about any of my problems which are very shit and Idk why I have to encounter it in my life.
Lets talk about my family, the thing with my step sister and my oldest brother. My step sister is currently having problems with her husband, her sister and also her own self and probably my mom. Her husband may have lied to her. Her sister may have stabbed her back. My mom is secretly have not forgiven her. I just happened to know all this because they are all telling me because idk maybe I listen so well but I just dont have anyone to talk to which kinda make me sad. Oh lets not forget she just met her long-lost sister which kinda makes her my sister too? What is this fuckery eh? I grew up knowing and in full aware of my family consists of only 5 ppl but now suddenly it's like 8? Fuck this shit. Lets also talk about how I suddenly got two nieces whi constantly come into my house and suddenly they are all my family and how I hv to greet them like they are my real family and cousins? Fuck this shit. I know I may have been to sensitive but pls pls just be in my shoes and see it from my perspective. It's really fucking ridiculous? How do you think my sis is having a shitty life, stressed about everything then she goes on telling me how stressed she is while I couldnt do anything for her while she keeps on giving and buying me things, she still treat me like im ger real sister? Dear god. I know my mom said she didnt care but how could she? I know she actually cared, shes her daughter for god's sake! Lets also mention she can get pregnant while her ex husband is happily married and now have a really beautiful wife and baby girl.
Next is my brother. Im sickenly worried about him. How would you feel if you see your own family is trying to live his life to the fullest and chasing his dreams only to be crashed by greedy and stupid ppl who dont even know whats inside his head or what he has to face everyday.my brother is working offshore, Ionly met him like idk maybe twice a month or maybe two months once? The last thing I want is to actually see him sad. He's one of the most brilliant students in our entire family. But now he has this shitty job which ppl thought were glamorous but in reality, he only work for 2 weeks a month and had to passed through like 3 states and across the sea, riding the helicopter. A very dangerous job indeed yet he is working his ass off. He also have to take those stupid exams which one of them cost like thousands fucking ringgit. I can tell he's broke. He just got the job two years ago and already have to take exams here and there, pay so fucking much, what you dont think thise 6 years in UM is enough isnt it? Yup turn out its not. And God its freaking UM, the most prestigious university that my entire family is literally jealous of him. Turns out its such a big fucking waste of time, money and shit. He had a degree in engineering which isnt related to his work at all when everyone is chanting engineer is great!a lot of wages! Blablabla such bullshit. But reality sucks. He still uses his stupid white Satria while my cousins who went to shitty university and got like much lesser As in their SPM are now using such bigger cars than him. Idk if they thought about this too. Who am I kidding? Of course they fucking do.its no use going to university. Let me tell you. I have so many cousins who didnt worked their asses off when they were in school and now their life is much better than my brother. How unfair is this world? Am i going to end up like that? Im alread fucked so theres nothing i can do fuck fuck. So my brother was asking for my opinion whether he should continue the relationship with his gf of 4 years or not. I told him no if he wasnt ready. I also give him some advices about other things and it looked like he agreed with me. I was quite happy for him. Several things happened in between but im not gonna go into detail which brings us here today.yesterday, his gf came and talked and they wanted to sort things out. Idk what happened. Sigh idek hownto say it properly here. Fuck my life. Fuck all of this.
Third problem in my family, we are practically broke. I hate myself. Sometimes I hat my dad too. Dear god, pls et my second brother graduate quickly. We need him oh god pls i dont wanna see my parents sad, they are getting older. Lets not go into detail of that.
Next prob in my useless fucking life
Yup, I'm here which can mean only one thing. I am stressed and I wanna rant about something. It's sad isnt it that I cant told anyone about any of my problems which are very shit and Idk why I have to encounter it in my life.
Lets talk about my family, the thing with my step sister and my oldest brother. My step sister is currently having problems with her husband, her sister and also her own self and probably my mom. Her husband may have lied to her. Her sister may have stabbed her back. My mom is secretly have not forgiven her. I just happened to know all this because they are all telling me because idk maybe I listen so well but I just dont have anyone to talk to which kinda make me sad. Oh lets not forget she just met her long-lost sister which kinda makes her my sister too? What is this fuckery eh? I grew up knowing and in full aware of my family consists of only 5 ppl but now suddenly it's like 8? Fuck this shit. Lets also talk about how I suddenly got two nieces whi constantly come into my house and suddenly they are all my family and how I hv to greet them like they are my real family and cousins? Fuck this shit. I know I may have been to sensitive but pls pls just be in my shoes and see it from my perspective. It's really fucking ridiculous? How do you think my sis is having a shitty life, stressed about everything then she goes on telling me how stressed she is while I couldnt do anything for her while she keeps on giving and buying me things, she still treat me like im ger real sister? Dear god. I know my mom said she didnt care but how could she? I know she actually cared, shes her daughter for god's sake! Lets also mention she can get pregnant while her ex husband is happily married and now have a really beautiful wife and baby girl.
Next is my brother. Im sickenly worried about him. How would you feel if you see your own family is trying to live his life to the fullest and chasing his dreams only to be crashed by greedy and stupid ppl who dont even know whats inside his head or what he has to face everyday.my brother is working offshore, Ionly met him like idk maybe twice a month or maybe two months once? The last thing I want is to actually see him sad. He's one of the most brilliant students in our entire family. But now he has this shitty job which ppl thought were glamorous but in reality, he only work for 2 weeks a month and had to passed through like 3 states and across the sea, riding the helicopter. A very dangerous job indeed yet he is working his ass off. He also have to take those stupid exams which one of them cost like thousands fucking ringgit. I can tell he's broke. He just got the job two years ago and already have to take exams here and there, pay so fucking much, what you dont think thise 6 years in UM is enough isnt it? Yup turn out its not. And God its freaking UM, the most prestigious university that my entire family is literally jealous of him. Turns out its such a big fucking waste of time, money and shit. He had a degree in engineering which isnt related to his work at all when everyone is chanting engineer is great!a lot of wages! Blablabla such bullshit. But reality sucks. He still uses his stupid white Satria while my cousins who went to shitty university and got like much lesser As in their SPM are now using such bigger cars than him. Idk if they thought about this too. Who am I kidding? Of course they fucking do.its no use going to university. Let me tell you. I have so many cousins who didnt worked their asses off when they were in school and now their life is much better than my brother. How unfair is this world? Am i going to end up like that? Im alread fucked so theres nothing i can do fuck fuck. So my brother was asking for my opinion whether he should continue the relationship with his gf of 4 years or not. I told him no if he wasnt ready. I also give him some advices about other things and it looked like he agreed with me. I was quite happy for him. Several things happened in between but im not gonna go into detail which brings us here today.yesterday, his gf came and talked and they wanted to sort things out. Idk what happened. Sigh idek hownto say it properly here. Fuck my life. Fuck all of this.
Third problem in my family, we are practically broke. I hate myself. Sometimes I hat my dad too. Dear god, pls et my second brother graduate quickly. We need him oh god pls i dont wanna see my parents sad, they are getting older. Lets not go into detail of that.
Next prob in my useless fucking life