(no subject)
How in the world is my first year of college done?! I feel like I just moved into Granville yesterday and now I'm moved out, my entire life is boxed up and ready to be moved into the house in a few weeks, and I feel like I'm the same person, but this year has changed me immensely. I can't even describe it, how weird it feels being back in Raleigh. On one hand it seems like no time has passed, but on the other hand it seems like it's been years since I've been away and that nothing is the same here anymore.
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn.
Well, it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn.
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same.
I've spent the first two days of break sleeping almost nonstop to make up for my stint of nonstop studying and relying on adderall and turkish silvers as my only form of energy. It's felt amazing, but I can't be lazy for ever. I need to get out, do something, see people, restore myself back to normal. I'm happy to be home but I couldn't stay here all summer. There's something about Raleigh that just doesn't do it for me anymore. Something that Chapel Hill has. I feel like my friends here aren't really my friends anymore, they are just the people I come home and visit.. because I have to. And everytime I leave Chapel Hill, I'm leaving my real friends, the people who really know me, love me, and mean a lot to me. The funny thing is that's how I felt about leaving Raleigh at the beginning of last year. What happened? Who knows, but there's definitely been some kind of change, and I feel like I've seen the least of it.
Gah, but what a year I've had. Just reflecting back on what I went through this year, it's a miracle that I am still alive.
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn.
Well, it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn.
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same.
I've spent the first two days of break sleeping almost nonstop to make up for my stint of nonstop studying and relying on adderall and turkish silvers as my only form of energy. It's felt amazing, but I can't be lazy for ever. I need to get out, do something, see people, restore myself back to normal. I'm happy to be home but I couldn't stay here all summer. There's something about Raleigh that just doesn't do it for me anymore. Something that Chapel Hill has. I feel like my friends here aren't really my friends anymore, they are just the people I come home and visit.. because I have to. And everytime I leave Chapel Hill, I'm leaving my real friends, the people who really know me, love me, and mean a lot to me. The funny thing is that's how I felt about leaving Raleigh at the beginning of last year. What happened? Who knows, but there's definitely been some kind of change, and I feel like I've seen the least of it.
Gah, but what a year I've had. Just reflecting back on what I went through this year, it's a miracle that I am still alive.