So long, Davis. See you in the next life.
My dearest friend John Davis, passed away on Monday from cancer. I must admit that I'm thoroughly devastated. I think many of you on my friends' list will have heard me talk about him a lot over the years. I know that Chiye, Tanaka, Kanita, and Vanessa have met him, but I'm sure to everyone else he's kind of an elusive figure. I've talked about him so much to Julie and Curtiss that they remind me that there isn't a need to prefece his name with "my friend".
I've known John for about as long as I've had this blog, which is about 9 years. We were both Buddhists and were separately recruited to join a band by a mutual acquaintance - although I had only been in the northern Virginia area for half a year and really didn't know anyone well. He played keyboards and guitar, and I played the bass. I could tell immediately that he was a decent guy and 9-years later that is still the case except that I can add a long list of other favorable words to describe him.
It was an awkward and lonely time for me - I was new in town and taking care of my mom full-time - so I immediately latched on to his good nature and stalked him. I asked him where he worked and told him that I would visit, which I did immediately and surprised him. At that time he was the manager of an organic food market co-op so it was easy to randomly drop by and say hi. I remember sitting in his office chatting when I finally said what was on my mind: "John? Would you be my friend?" He looked thunderstruck - for which I don't blame him considering how little we knew each other - and after some sputtering he agreed. And that was how we became good friends. (Yes, I realize that I was a bit of a creeper, but I don't regret it at all!)
We certainly made an odd pair, especially considering that he's 30 years older than me. His appearance was also very unassuming; sporting glasses, converse, a mustache, and a very calm demeanor. I, on the other hand, most notably look Asian, plus I had a love for Japanese street fashion so that automatically made me a flashy dresser.
I got him into a lot of Japanese pop-culture things like music, dramas, and movies. The first time he came to my place was to watch the Japanese version of The Ring. That was the day my overexcited Dalmatian dog bit him and after the movie he had to go get the wound stitched up at the hospital. He would still remember "the day that Confetti bit him" very fondly. "I have a scar!" he would gush. (Having now seen many episodes of The Dog Whisperer, I am now embarrassed at the complete lack of control I had over my dog. Ah well, it figures that I would only learn about The Dog Whisperer after Confetti passes.)
He really encouraged me a lot when I took care of my mom. It was difficult knowing that she would get weaker, but because I was her full-time caretaker, I couldn't get a job or even leave the house during the day. So after dad returned home in the evenings I would visit John in his office at the co-op (after it was closed) and we'd talk about everything from our day to the latest movie we were into. After mom passed, he got me a job at that co-op and I was able to gradually get back into the swing of life once more.
We still did the band-thing which we both thoroughly enjoyed, but we had branched off from the Buddhist group to gig. I wasn't very good at bass, but he would always asked me where beat one was and since that's easy enough to answer I would and he always made it sound like I was the only one to get it right. I remember playing in Bradley's (drummer) basement and John telling me which note to play. Terrible, right? At least I kept the beat.
Later John got me the job at the music store he worked at. It's funny to think how John worked at an organic co-op despite his love for hamburgers and cigarettes, but at least he knew his organic stock. He wasn't into the organic-thing, but he could tell you about ear candles and tofurkey. Then at the music store, he knew music theory, how to play piano/guitar/trombone, loved rock and roll... but ended up working in the choral department. He didn't know a damn thing about choral music, but that was okay with him too.
In addition to being a decent and calm guy, he was also good at talking. He told interesting stories from his past; about his childhood living in a cul-de-sac (he even drove me through it once and the area is so neat), his days as the coach of a winning softball team, and stories on my most favored topic: ghosts. He had several interesting "unexplainable" stories that I loved to hear him talk about. (He even experienced something while smoking out on the deck of where I am now, but he wouldn't tell me, then later I told him not to tell me so I still don't know what happened. *kicks self*) When John, Jessica, and I went to visit Woodlawn for Halloween - they had a haunted tour of the mansion - John insisted that there was "someone" behind tour guide at the end of the tour. Of course Jessica and I scoffed at the idea, but he'd never once recinded this claim.
On a side note, when I told him that I was thinking of not introducing the idea of Santa Claus to Asuka, he was appalled. He said that he definitely believed in Santa Claus and when his children were younger he would always tell them, "This year Santa isn't getting into our house!" Then, in the morning when the children checked their stockings and exclaimed that Santa had indeed come, he would say, "Dammit! Not again!"
John was definitely a pretty funny guy, although I can only think of a few examples (I'll have to go through all my entries over 9 years to see if I've documented any more). He would always tell me to "stay calm" which amused me, because he would say it when I got enthused about anything:
"John, did you see my new socks?!"
"Ok, Midori, just stay calm."
If you were to ask him where this file of important documents would go, he'd just indicate the trash can.
He was also pretty good with working off of what you said, such as:
"John, do I really have to stop at all these traffic lights?"
"Well, I consider them more as suggestions."
In reference to drugs, he would say, "If one pill doesn't make the pain go away, then take more."
And I often heard him follow things up with, "It's good for you."
"It's not even noon, are you sure we should be drinking now?"
"Come on, it's good for you."
I really made him sound like a terrible influence, didn't I?
When I worked at the music store, I also moved into the basement of his house. His room was across the hall from mine so we had our own little world below ground while strangers lived in the rooms above. Since we had a small fridge, he'd buy me a 40 oz bottle of beer because it was practical (and fit tidily in our teeny fridge). I always felt a bit like a vagrant drinking from a 40, but there was no arguing his logic (later he would introduce me to Pabst so all was forgiven).
One of the greatest things about John was that he was good at giving advice and encouragement using the experiences of his life. I seriously believed that he should've been a therapist because of his understanding of human nature and general compassion for people. He supported me when I had to deal with my mom's death. He supported me when I suddenly decided to move to Japan. He supported me when I had difficulties with my ex-husband. Quite frankly, I don't know how I'm going to live without him.
Well. I didn't think I would go quite this long about him, but there you have it. John and I would always argue who was the best person, but I'm here to say that you are, John. You are THE BEST and although you had to leave me now, I'm going to see you again in the next life. And it will be GLORIOUS!
Love, me.
I've known John for about as long as I've had this blog, which is about 9 years. We were both Buddhists and were separately recruited to join a band by a mutual acquaintance - although I had only been in the northern Virginia area for half a year and really didn't know anyone well. He played keyboards and guitar, and I played the bass. I could tell immediately that he was a decent guy and 9-years later that is still the case except that I can add a long list of other favorable words to describe him.
It was an awkward and lonely time for me - I was new in town and taking care of my mom full-time - so I immediately latched on to his good nature and stalked him. I asked him where he worked and told him that I would visit, which I did immediately and surprised him. At that time he was the manager of an organic food market co-op so it was easy to randomly drop by and say hi. I remember sitting in his office chatting when I finally said what was on my mind: "John? Would you be my friend?" He looked thunderstruck - for which I don't blame him considering how little we knew each other - and after some sputtering he agreed. And that was how we became good friends. (Yes, I realize that I was a bit of a creeper, but I don't regret it at all!)
We certainly made an odd pair, especially considering that he's 30 years older than me. His appearance was also very unassuming; sporting glasses, converse, a mustache, and a very calm demeanor. I, on the other hand, most notably look Asian, plus I had a love for Japanese street fashion so that automatically made me a flashy dresser.
I got him into a lot of Japanese pop-culture things like music, dramas, and movies. The first time he came to my place was to watch the Japanese version of The Ring. That was the day my overexcited Dalmatian dog bit him and after the movie he had to go get the wound stitched up at the hospital. He would still remember "the day that Confetti bit him" very fondly. "I have a scar!" he would gush. (Having now seen many episodes of The Dog Whisperer, I am now embarrassed at the complete lack of control I had over my dog. Ah well, it figures that I would only learn about The Dog Whisperer after Confetti passes.)
He really encouraged me a lot when I took care of my mom. It was difficult knowing that she would get weaker, but because I was her full-time caretaker, I couldn't get a job or even leave the house during the day. So after dad returned home in the evenings I would visit John in his office at the co-op (after it was closed) and we'd talk about everything from our day to the latest movie we were into. After mom passed, he got me a job at that co-op and I was able to gradually get back into the swing of life once more.
We still did the band-thing which we both thoroughly enjoyed, but we had branched off from the Buddhist group to gig. I wasn't very good at bass, but he would always asked me where beat one was and since that's easy enough to answer I would and he always made it sound like I was the only one to get it right. I remember playing in Bradley's (drummer) basement and John telling me which note to play. Terrible, right? At least I kept the beat.
Later John got me the job at the music store he worked at. It's funny to think how John worked at an organic co-op despite his love for hamburgers and cigarettes, but at least he knew his organic stock. He wasn't into the organic-thing, but he could tell you about ear candles and tofurkey. Then at the music store, he knew music theory, how to play piano/guitar/trombone, loved rock and roll... but ended up working in the choral department. He didn't know a damn thing about choral music, but that was okay with him too.
In addition to being a decent and calm guy, he was also good at talking. He told interesting stories from his past; about his childhood living in a cul-de-sac (he even drove me through it once and the area is so neat), his days as the coach of a winning softball team, and stories on my most favored topic: ghosts. He had several interesting "unexplainable" stories that I loved to hear him talk about. (He even experienced something while smoking out on the deck of where I am now, but he wouldn't tell me, then later I told him not to tell me so I still don't know what happened. *kicks self*) When John, Jessica, and I went to visit Woodlawn for Halloween - they had a haunted tour of the mansion - John insisted that there was "someone" behind tour guide at the end of the tour. Of course Jessica and I scoffed at the idea, but he'd never once recinded this claim.
On a side note, when I told him that I was thinking of not introducing the idea of Santa Claus to Asuka, he was appalled. He said that he definitely believed in Santa Claus and when his children were younger he would always tell them, "This year Santa isn't getting into our house!" Then, in the morning when the children checked their stockings and exclaimed that Santa had indeed come, he would say, "Dammit! Not again!"
John was definitely a pretty funny guy, although I can only think of a few examples (I'll have to go through all my entries over 9 years to see if I've documented any more). He would always tell me to "stay calm" which amused me, because he would say it when I got enthused about anything:
"John, did you see my new socks?!"
"Ok, Midori, just stay calm."
If you were to ask him where this file of important documents would go, he'd just indicate the trash can.
He was also pretty good with working off of what you said, such as:
"John, do I really have to stop at all these traffic lights?"
"Well, I consider them more as suggestions."
In reference to drugs, he would say, "If one pill doesn't make the pain go away, then take more."
And I often heard him follow things up with, "It's good for you."
"It's not even noon, are you sure we should be drinking now?"
"Come on, it's good for you."
I really made him sound like a terrible influence, didn't I?
When I worked at the music store, I also moved into the basement of his house. His room was across the hall from mine so we had our own little world below ground while strangers lived in the rooms above. Since we had a small fridge, he'd buy me a 40 oz bottle of beer because it was practical (and fit tidily in our teeny fridge). I always felt a bit like a vagrant drinking from a 40, but there was no arguing his logic (later he would introduce me to Pabst so all was forgiven).
One of the greatest things about John was that he was good at giving advice and encouragement using the experiences of his life. I seriously believed that he should've been a therapist because of his understanding of human nature and general compassion for people. He supported me when I had to deal with my mom's death. He supported me when I suddenly decided to move to Japan. He supported me when I had difficulties with my ex-husband. Quite frankly, I don't know how I'm going to live without him.
Well. I didn't think I would go quite this long about him, but there you have it. John and I would always argue who was the best person, but I'm here to say that you are, John. You are THE BEST and although you had to leave me now, I'm going to see you again in the next life. And it will be GLORIOUS!
Love, me.