If You Become My Wings
Title: If You Become My Wings
Pairing/Focus: Sunggyu/Hoya
Rating: PG
Word count: 3,243
Summary: Hoya doesn’t ever stop, so Sunggyu becomes his break.
Originally written for Infinite Secret Santa 2013
Throughout his twenty-eight years of existence, Hoya hasn’t slowed down once. He has never been known for slowing down. His friends have always told him to take a break now and then, but Hoya just isn’t the type to. He is passionate towards life, he is passionate towards the things he does, and most importantly, he is passionate in chasing his dream. He isn’t far from achieving it, in fact, he is already living it. But of course, Hoya, being Hoya, isn’t going to slow down just because of that.
Sometimes Hoya knows he worries his friends from the way Dongwoo looks at him. And sometimes, Hoya gives in a little. And Hoya knows too, that Dongwoo’s the only thing that keeps him from going overboard. Hoya feels thankful almost as much as he feels bad. Dongwoo has his own life too, but he plays such a large part in Hoya’s life he might as well be Hoya. So Hoya feels bad, because hey, it isn’t like Dongwoo doesn’t have other things to care and worry about.
This is also the reason Dongwoo’s been nagging at him to get out of the dance studio for a while and get himself a girlfriend. “Or boyfriend or whatever-friend you’d like,” Dongwoo always adds as an afterthought, considering he did date a man for a pretty long time. Hoya always liked that photographer, because there are only three things in the world that can make Dongwoo smile as bright and Myungsoo was one of them. Too bad he had to move to Japan and Dongwoo ended up with a vocal instructor and not that long later, a kid.
Hoya does feel a little envious at times, but he isn’t interested in a family. Not for now, at least. Perhaps one day he’d find a nice girl and settle down with her, have a couple of children who will grow up to be prolific dancers like he was during his prime, and then he can finally slow down. It just isn’t now.
It has always been a tradition for them to have some drinks and celebrate after winning competitions. There isn’t any exception this time, it’s just that instead of their regular group of friends and dance team members, Dongwoo invited a whole bunch of other people to join. Hoya doesn’t protest. He doesn’t even say a word. Hoya just drinks quietly on his own, staying clear of strangers. He has never been a people person anyway.
Hoya merely looks up and blinks when Dongwoo snatches the beer from Hoya’s hand and forcibly shoves a shot glass into it.
“You’re ridiculously quiet today. What’s the matter?”
Hoya shrugs. “I’m just really tired, that’s all.”
“So head home and get some rest.”
Hoya nods.
Dongwoo suddenly breaks into a wide smile that gives Hoya goosebumps. Whenever Dongwoo smiles like that, Hoya knows he has something up his sleeve. And Hoya’s right, because Dongwoo clasps his hands together and says, “Let’s find you someone to share a cab with!”
Hoya knows that with Dongwoo, very much like with him, resistance is futile once either of them has set his mind on something. So Hoya doesn’t bother trying to resist. He gets shoved together with a taller man and a pretty, young girl. Hoya doesn’t know where the man is from; he has never seen or heard of him before. The girl’s a new student at the dance school, but Hoya finds her way too chirpy and cheery for his liking.
“This is Sunggyu,” Dongwoo says, startling Hoya from his thoughts as he stares at the man. Hoya turns to Dongwoo, who continues, “He’s a pianist; composed some of my performance music before.”
Hoya remembers now. Dongwoo doesn’t always talk about him, but when he does, it’s always full of revere and respect. Hoya’s never seen him before till now, though, and it doesn't really match the idea Hoya had had of him.
“He’ll drive you both home instead,” Dongwoo continues.
So Hoya ends up sitting in silence with Sunggyu in his black BMW after they drop the girl off at her place, which is the nearest stop. A classical piece is playing on the stereo, but Hoya doesn’t know enough to be able to tell what it is. It’s strangely relaxing, though, more relaxing than even the calmest contemporary piece Hoya once choreographed a dance for. And for a moment, Hoya feels a lot lighter. But that moment is fleeting, and Sunggyu’s voice draws him back to reality.
“Do I take the right turn here or at the next junction?”
The right turn. The words repeat themselves in Hoya’s mind for some reason, and in Sunggyu’s voice too. It takes Hoya a couple more moments before he responds. “This one’s right.” The turn Sunggyu makes is sharp because of Hoya’s delay, but it’s still the correct one anyway.
Hoya turns a little and watches Sunggyu subtly, pretending to be looking out the window on the driver’s side. He sees Sunggyu clench and unclench his jaws, and supposes maybe Sunggyu knows he’s watching but Hoya doesn’t stop. There is a kind of grace about the man, and Hoya likes that. He can see why Dongwoo asked Sunggyu to drive them back instead now.
When Sunggyu pulls up at the foot of Hoya’s apartment block, Hoya lingers for a moment before thanking him and opening the door.
“Hey, Hoya?”
Hoya stops and bends a little to look back into the car at Sunggyu with a questioning look.
“So… we didn’t get to talk much today. Perhaps we could have a chat over coffee some day?”
Hoya chooses to interpret Sunggyu’s expression as hopeful, and he’s pretty sure he’s got a slight grin on his face that is impossible to miss. “I’m not much of a coffee person but I can make an exception for you.” There’re two ways to interpret Hoya’s statement, but his tone is friendly. Or at least, friendly enough, he hopes.
Sunggyu smiles and nods. “I’ll see you, then.”
Hoya nods back before closing the door.
That night he falls asleep quickly but not because of fatigue. For the first time in ages, Hoya has a peaceful night’s rest undisturbed by dance routines and obligations. The classical music he heard in Sunggyu’s car replays itself in Hoya’s mind all night.
Hoya soon finds out that Sunggyu isn’t exactly all what he seems to be, after all. Behind that whole piano teacher and classical music exterior is actually a rather fun-loving guy who is, surprisingly, a fan of krumping.
“Krumping?” Hoya repeats, almost choking on his toffee nut latte. Sunggyu had ordered it; one for himself and one for Hoya. Hoya’s actually surprised it tastes good.
Sunggyu nods, a little sheepishly, when Hoya stares at him with huge eyes. “Weird, isn’t it?” He laughs softly, and Hoya’s mesmerized.
It takes him a moment to respond, and Hoya quickly shakes his head. “Not at all. I think it’s cool you have a diverse range of preferences.”
Sunggyu grins as he stirs his latte absently with his straw, the clinking of the ice cubes hardly bothering both of them as they become too engrossed in their chat.
Hoya loses count the number of times he gets surprised by Sunggyu. He may have heard about Sunggyu before, but Dongwoo only says that much about him, and from those dramatic contemporary pieces that he had done for Dongwoo, Hoya always pegged him to be those traditional type of musicians. Hoya supposes he’s seen Sunggyu before, but he has no recollection. Then again it isn’t like Hoya really bothers about anything else.
Hoya laughs more this day than he has the entire year, probably, thanks to Sunggyu’s dry humour. When he said yes to the coffee date-maybe he’s pushing it to think of it as a date, after all Sunggyu did say “chat over coffee”, but Hoya chooses to believe he meant date from the way he was looking at him-Hoya was expecting some intellectual and boring discussion about dance and music. Instead he got clever conversation with a man who doesn’t quite live up to his impression of a pianist.
Sunggyu’s laugh rings in his ears long after they part ways, and Hoya walks into the dance studio hours later than he usually does. Dongwoo’s eyebrows are basically in his hair when he sees Hoya.
“What?” Hoya says after giving Dongwoo just one glance, and starts to look through his collection of music.
“You’re so early today!”
Hoya looks up at Dongwoo, making a face at him. “If you want to say something, say it.”
Dongwoo smiles sweetly at Hoya, then shakes his head. “Go practise,” He says simply in a tone that sounds slightly amused before walking away, his footsteps light as always.
Hoya ends up picking a fun song he hasn’t heard or used in years. “Got to loosen up my joints,” He tells Dongwoo later, although he can tell from the glint in Dongwoo’s eyes that the older man doesn’t believe him at all. In some ways that is true, but honestly, Hoya just feels light enough for something less technical and more fun.
When he finally sits and leans against the mirror, covered in perspiration, Hoya looks at his reflection opposite as he pants softly. Setting down his empty bottle next to him, Hoya reaches for his mobile.
Twelve new messages. Hoya raises his brows and quickly checks them. Sungjong… Inguk hyung… Woohyun… Hoya keeps scrolling but he’s exhausted the list of new messages. Subconsciously chewing on his lips, Hoya looks for that conversation thread he has with Sunggyu and starts typing.
Hey, I think you’re… delete, delete.
I really had fun today and… delete, delete.
Hoya sighs, and belatedly realizes he’s biting on his lip. He lets go of it and licks the sore area absently. This is so much harder than he had thought it would be. He wonders what made Sunggyu ask him out for coffee in the first place. That’s when it finally hits him. Hoya presses on Sunggyu’s name in his contact list, and his thumb hovers above the call button for as long as he allows himself to hesitate, which is perhaps just a second or two, then the dialling tone is resonating in the empty studio.
Hoya knows it is disappointment he had felt when he hadn’t gotten a single message from Sunggyu since they split ways earlier. He did try not to think about it, though. But now that he hears Sunggyu’s melodic “Hello~” through the phone, Hoya doesn’t even try anymore.
They don’t meet up the next day because Sunggyu says he has a class in the evening, and Hoya’s class is in the afternoon. They meet up the day after instead. This time there’s no coffee involved, especially since that one time had Hoya sleepless till the crazy hours of the morning. Sunggyu is apologetic about it, but Hoya repeats about a million times that it was okay. It really was okay though, Hoya thinks.
Hoya doesn’t quite understand why, but Sunggyu gives him a hug the moment he sees him that second time they go out together. He returns the hug a little awkwardly although not unwillingly.
Sunggyu takes him to a recital this time. Hoya has never been one for recitals, either. And if he really thinks about it, there’s nothing much else in his life besides dance, dance, and more dance. Maybe that’s why his friends have been telling him to take a break. It’s just there’s nothing else he’d rather live for.
Hoya was fully expecting a piano recital, but it turns out to be a violin one. If he looks at Sunggyu with admiration far too many times since their first coffee date, Hoya isn’t going to admit it. But hey, there’s something really special about a man who does classical music for a living, enjoys classical music, and at the same time thinks krumping is beautiful. Hoya steals more glances at Sunggyu during the recital, and the look of enjoyment on his face makes Hoya smile a little.
Sunggyu is the perfect picture of living life in balance. It seems like Dongwoo had more than one ulterior motive when he made Hoya take Sunggyu’s car.
Hoya finds himself picking out music for krumping the next day.
The next time he meets Sunggyu is almost a week later. And if Hoya were to be honest to himself, he’d say that he hasn’t stopped thinking about Sunggyu. But Hoya isn’t, so he’s been busy with his next competition that he signed up for a couple of days ago.
“I know a great place for pasta,” Sunggyu had said. So here they are, in a fancy restaurant, waiting for their dinner.
Hoya feels like there’s something different this time. It’s like something in the air has shifted but Hoya can’t pinpoint what it is.
Sunggyu’s outfit for the night is a white dress shirt matched with a classy-looking long grey coat that Hoya supposes must be from some expensive label-Hoya doesn’t know what because he doesn’t care for brands, so all he knows are just street fashion labels-and a pair of skinny jeans. How the fuck anyone can look so good just like that, Hoya doesn’t know either.
They don’t speak much during the dinner, so Hoya spends the time just staring at Sunggyu as subtly as he can. He had, very casually, asked Dongwoo earlier about Sunggyu’s current relationship status. Dongwoo had replied “he’s married” with a very straight face initially and got Hoya all panicking. Then Dongwoo proceeded to laugh-guffawing was more like it-which earned him a death glare from Hoya. But that’s how Hoya knows he’s free to make moves on Sunggyu if he wants to.
Yet he doesn’t even know what he really feels about Sunggyu.
When they walk out of the restaurant onto the streets, Sunggyu immediately shivers violently even though he’s already wearing his coat. Hoya unwinds his own scarf and wraps it around Sunggyu’s neck. He can’t tell if it’s a blush on Sunggyu’s cheeks or if it’s just cold.
Sunggyu thanks him with an earnest smile, and Hoya returns one of his own.
The walk back to Sunggyu’s car is made mostly in silence, until both of them decide to speak at the same time, then start laughing instead. Eventually, it’s Hoya who speaks again first.
“So… I just wanted to thank you,” Hoya starts, “Meeting you has sort of put a little perspective back into my life, and I’m starting to enjoy it more. The thing is, all my life I feel like I have to live for a purpose, and that purpose is fulfilling all my dreams and proving to everyone that I am more than good enough. Dongwoo always tells me that I’ve already achieved that. All my friends tell me that too. But it just feels like it just isn’t quite enough.” Hoya glances up from his hands, looking over at Sunggyu who’s listening to him intently. So Hoya looks away again as he continues.
“I thought Dongwoo was trying to matchmake me with you that other day,” Hoya laughs. “But now I know what he was really trying to do.”
Hoya chews on his lip for all of three seconds then stops in his tracks. Sunggyu stops too. Hoya turns to him. “You’re really special, Sunggyu. And although we haven’t spent much time together, I’m still grateful for having a chance to know you because… I suppose I’m learning to take things easy. Even Dongwoo says my dancing is more enjoyable to watch now.” Hoya scratches his head and smiles sheepishly, then clears his throat.
He reaches for Sunggyu’s gloved hands and holds them, hesitating a bit before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Sunggyu’s flushed cheek. “Thank you.”
Sunggyu chuckles softly, then shakes his head, not withdrawing his hands from Hoya’s grip. “Is that how you usually thank someone?”
Hoya freezes up a little, then relaxes again when Sunggyu grins. He smiles back a little shyly, still not letting go of Sunggyu’s hands.
“On the contrary… for me, I knew Dongwoo was trying to matchmake me with you. I mean, let’s be real, he knows that cute girl from your dance school isn’t my type.” Hoya raises his brows at this point but he doesn’t think Sunggyu catches it. “Trust me, Dongwoo’s set me up with so many people you’ll be surprised. You’re the only one I’ve really clicked with. So… Don’t thank me.”
Hoya tilts his head.
“We should thank Dongwoo,” Sunggyu says with a wide smile.
Hoya laughs.
They end up holding hands all the way to Sunggyu’s car, but Hoya feels like the tension from earlier has lifted, and both of them are smiling more freely now.
They have a discussion about clothes as Sunggyu drives Hoya back, after Hoya makes the mistake of casually mentioning that Sunggyu’s clothes must be really expensive. It evolves into a playful banter and Sunggyu smacks Hoya’s arm, and of course Hoya immediately protests, then Sunggyu laughs. Then Hoya laughs too, because Sunggyu’s laughter is too adorable and too infectious.
When Sunggyu reaches Hoya’s place-“the right turn”, Hoya had murmured when they were on that road again, and Sunggyu took the right one effortlessly-Hoya sits in his car silently, hoping Sunggyu would say something.
It takes another five minutes of classical piano music to play before Sunggyu finally leans over, cupping Hoya’s cheek and turning him to face him before pressing his lips to Hoya’s.
Hoya smiles, then attempts not to smile so widely, but fails miserably anyway, so he leans towards Sunggyu and kisses him back. A slight snow begins to fall slowly outside.
+++++++++
Three months later, Hoya bans anyone from going to the dressing room before his performance so Sunggyu is stuck with Dongwoo in the audience.
“Wait, what do you mean you haven’t seen it? Aren’t you guys always in the same studio?”
Dongwoo nods. “He doesn’t work on this when I’m around so I honestly have no idea what it’s going to be.”
Sunggyu frowns.
“Just wait,” Dongwoo says, “It’s Lee Howon. He won’t disappoint.”
Sunggyu glances at Dongwoo and grins. “Of course.”
When the curtains part for Hoya’s performance, Sunggyu recognizes the music right away. It’s the same piece that he was playing in his car the day he sent him home for the first time. The soft chuckle attracts Dongwoo’s attention, and Sunggyu brushes it off with a slight shake of his head.
The contemporary dance is, as usual, perfect storytelling by Hoya, no surprises there. It is the last evolution of the dance that draws the sudden applause and cheers.
“Oh god.” Sunggyu breathes, unsure if he should be amused or be amazed. It’s actually a fair mixture of both.
Dongwoo is in awe too, because he hasn’t seen Hoya try krumping in years since he failed at that one competition.
Sunggyu knows it’s for him, and pride wells up in his heart. He has always been searching for the sense of security lost to him since his first love. Hoya’s appearance in his life is like the first snowfall of the year, slow and beautiful, then completely transforming the landscape. Sunggyu likes the view now, and he holds on to the scarf tightly in his hands; the scarf Hoya never took back.
He’s safe now. So’s Hoya.
… then I can fly forever.
Pairing/Focus: Sunggyu/Hoya
Rating: PG
Word count: 3,243
Summary: Hoya doesn’t ever stop, so Sunggyu becomes his break.
Originally written for Infinite Secret Santa 2013
Throughout his twenty-eight years of existence, Hoya hasn’t slowed down once. He has never been known for slowing down. His friends have always told him to take a break now and then, but Hoya just isn’t the type to. He is passionate towards life, he is passionate towards the things he does, and most importantly, he is passionate in chasing his dream. He isn’t far from achieving it, in fact, he is already living it. But of course, Hoya, being Hoya, isn’t going to slow down just because of that.
Sometimes Hoya knows he worries his friends from the way Dongwoo looks at him. And sometimes, Hoya gives in a little. And Hoya knows too, that Dongwoo’s the only thing that keeps him from going overboard. Hoya feels thankful almost as much as he feels bad. Dongwoo has his own life too, but he plays such a large part in Hoya’s life he might as well be Hoya. So Hoya feels bad, because hey, it isn’t like Dongwoo doesn’t have other things to care and worry about.
This is also the reason Dongwoo’s been nagging at him to get out of the dance studio for a while and get himself a girlfriend. “Or boyfriend or whatever-friend you’d like,” Dongwoo always adds as an afterthought, considering he did date a man for a pretty long time. Hoya always liked that photographer, because there are only three things in the world that can make Dongwoo smile as bright and Myungsoo was one of them. Too bad he had to move to Japan and Dongwoo ended up with a vocal instructor and not that long later, a kid.
Hoya does feel a little envious at times, but he isn’t interested in a family. Not for now, at least. Perhaps one day he’d find a nice girl and settle down with her, have a couple of children who will grow up to be prolific dancers like he was during his prime, and then he can finally slow down. It just isn’t now.
It has always been a tradition for them to have some drinks and celebrate after winning competitions. There isn’t any exception this time, it’s just that instead of their regular group of friends and dance team members, Dongwoo invited a whole bunch of other people to join. Hoya doesn’t protest. He doesn’t even say a word. Hoya just drinks quietly on his own, staying clear of strangers. He has never been a people person anyway.
Hoya merely looks up and blinks when Dongwoo snatches the beer from Hoya’s hand and forcibly shoves a shot glass into it.
“You’re ridiculously quiet today. What’s the matter?”
Hoya shrugs. “I’m just really tired, that’s all.”
“So head home and get some rest.”
Hoya nods.
Dongwoo suddenly breaks into a wide smile that gives Hoya goosebumps. Whenever Dongwoo smiles like that, Hoya knows he has something up his sleeve. And Hoya’s right, because Dongwoo clasps his hands together and says, “Let’s find you someone to share a cab with!”
Hoya knows that with Dongwoo, very much like with him, resistance is futile once either of them has set his mind on something. So Hoya doesn’t bother trying to resist. He gets shoved together with a taller man and a pretty, young girl. Hoya doesn’t know where the man is from; he has never seen or heard of him before. The girl’s a new student at the dance school, but Hoya finds her way too chirpy and cheery for his liking.
“This is Sunggyu,” Dongwoo says, startling Hoya from his thoughts as he stares at the man. Hoya turns to Dongwoo, who continues, “He’s a pianist; composed some of my performance music before.”
Hoya remembers now. Dongwoo doesn’t always talk about him, but when he does, it’s always full of revere and respect. Hoya’s never seen him before till now, though, and it doesn't really match the idea Hoya had had of him.
“He’ll drive you both home instead,” Dongwoo continues.
So Hoya ends up sitting in silence with Sunggyu in his black BMW after they drop the girl off at her place, which is the nearest stop. A classical piece is playing on the stereo, but Hoya doesn’t know enough to be able to tell what it is. It’s strangely relaxing, though, more relaxing than even the calmest contemporary piece Hoya once choreographed a dance for. And for a moment, Hoya feels a lot lighter. But that moment is fleeting, and Sunggyu’s voice draws him back to reality.
“Do I take the right turn here or at the next junction?”
The right turn. The words repeat themselves in Hoya’s mind for some reason, and in Sunggyu’s voice too. It takes Hoya a couple more moments before he responds. “This one’s right.” The turn Sunggyu makes is sharp because of Hoya’s delay, but it’s still the correct one anyway.
Hoya turns a little and watches Sunggyu subtly, pretending to be looking out the window on the driver’s side. He sees Sunggyu clench and unclench his jaws, and supposes maybe Sunggyu knows he’s watching but Hoya doesn’t stop. There is a kind of grace about the man, and Hoya likes that. He can see why Dongwoo asked Sunggyu to drive them back instead now.
When Sunggyu pulls up at the foot of Hoya’s apartment block, Hoya lingers for a moment before thanking him and opening the door.
“Hey, Hoya?”
Hoya stops and bends a little to look back into the car at Sunggyu with a questioning look.
“So… we didn’t get to talk much today. Perhaps we could have a chat over coffee some day?”
Hoya chooses to interpret Sunggyu’s expression as hopeful, and he’s pretty sure he’s got a slight grin on his face that is impossible to miss. “I’m not much of a coffee person but I can make an exception for you.” There’re two ways to interpret Hoya’s statement, but his tone is friendly. Or at least, friendly enough, he hopes.
Sunggyu smiles and nods. “I’ll see you, then.”
Hoya nods back before closing the door.
That night he falls asleep quickly but not because of fatigue. For the first time in ages, Hoya has a peaceful night’s rest undisturbed by dance routines and obligations. The classical music he heard in Sunggyu’s car replays itself in Hoya’s mind all night.
Hoya soon finds out that Sunggyu isn’t exactly all what he seems to be, after all. Behind that whole piano teacher and classical music exterior is actually a rather fun-loving guy who is, surprisingly, a fan of krumping.
“Krumping?” Hoya repeats, almost choking on his toffee nut latte. Sunggyu had ordered it; one for himself and one for Hoya. Hoya’s actually surprised it tastes good.
Sunggyu nods, a little sheepishly, when Hoya stares at him with huge eyes. “Weird, isn’t it?” He laughs softly, and Hoya’s mesmerized.
It takes him a moment to respond, and Hoya quickly shakes his head. “Not at all. I think it’s cool you have a diverse range of preferences.”
Sunggyu grins as he stirs his latte absently with his straw, the clinking of the ice cubes hardly bothering both of them as they become too engrossed in their chat.
Hoya loses count the number of times he gets surprised by Sunggyu. He may have heard about Sunggyu before, but Dongwoo only says that much about him, and from those dramatic contemporary pieces that he had done for Dongwoo, Hoya always pegged him to be those traditional type of musicians. Hoya supposes he’s seen Sunggyu before, but he has no recollection. Then again it isn’t like Hoya really bothers about anything else.
Hoya laughs more this day than he has the entire year, probably, thanks to Sunggyu’s dry humour. When he said yes to the coffee date-maybe he’s pushing it to think of it as a date, after all Sunggyu did say “chat over coffee”, but Hoya chooses to believe he meant date from the way he was looking at him-Hoya was expecting some intellectual and boring discussion about dance and music. Instead he got clever conversation with a man who doesn’t quite live up to his impression of a pianist.
Sunggyu’s laugh rings in his ears long after they part ways, and Hoya walks into the dance studio hours later than he usually does. Dongwoo’s eyebrows are basically in his hair when he sees Hoya.
“What?” Hoya says after giving Dongwoo just one glance, and starts to look through his collection of music.
“You’re so early today!”
Hoya looks up at Dongwoo, making a face at him. “If you want to say something, say it.”
Dongwoo smiles sweetly at Hoya, then shakes his head. “Go practise,” He says simply in a tone that sounds slightly amused before walking away, his footsteps light as always.
Hoya ends up picking a fun song he hasn’t heard or used in years. “Got to loosen up my joints,” He tells Dongwoo later, although he can tell from the glint in Dongwoo’s eyes that the older man doesn’t believe him at all. In some ways that is true, but honestly, Hoya just feels light enough for something less technical and more fun.
When he finally sits and leans against the mirror, covered in perspiration, Hoya looks at his reflection opposite as he pants softly. Setting down his empty bottle next to him, Hoya reaches for his mobile.
Twelve new messages. Hoya raises his brows and quickly checks them. Sungjong… Inguk hyung… Woohyun… Hoya keeps scrolling but he’s exhausted the list of new messages. Subconsciously chewing on his lips, Hoya looks for that conversation thread he has with Sunggyu and starts typing.
Hey, I think you’re… delete, delete.
I really had fun today and… delete, delete.
Hoya sighs, and belatedly realizes he’s biting on his lip. He lets go of it and licks the sore area absently. This is so much harder than he had thought it would be. He wonders what made Sunggyu ask him out for coffee in the first place. That’s when it finally hits him. Hoya presses on Sunggyu’s name in his contact list, and his thumb hovers above the call button for as long as he allows himself to hesitate, which is perhaps just a second or two, then the dialling tone is resonating in the empty studio.
Hoya knows it is disappointment he had felt when he hadn’t gotten a single message from Sunggyu since they split ways earlier. He did try not to think about it, though. But now that he hears Sunggyu’s melodic “Hello~” through the phone, Hoya doesn’t even try anymore.
They don’t meet up the next day because Sunggyu says he has a class in the evening, and Hoya’s class is in the afternoon. They meet up the day after instead. This time there’s no coffee involved, especially since that one time had Hoya sleepless till the crazy hours of the morning. Sunggyu is apologetic about it, but Hoya repeats about a million times that it was okay. It really was okay though, Hoya thinks.
Hoya doesn’t quite understand why, but Sunggyu gives him a hug the moment he sees him that second time they go out together. He returns the hug a little awkwardly although not unwillingly.
Sunggyu takes him to a recital this time. Hoya has never been one for recitals, either. And if he really thinks about it, there’s nothing much else in his life besides dance, dance, and more dance. Maybe that’s why his friends have been telling him to take a break. It’s just there’s nothing else he’d rather live for.
Hoya was fully expecting a piano recital, but it turns out to be a violin one. If he looks at Sunggyu with admiration far too many times since their first coffee date, Hoya isn’t going to admit it. But hey, there’s something really special about a man who does classical music for a living, enjoys classical music, and at the same time thinks krumping is beautiful. Hoya steals more glances at Sunggyu during the recital, and the look of enjoyment on his face makes Hoya smile a little.
Sunggyu is the perfect picture of living life in balance. It seems like Dongwoo had more than one ulterior motive when he made Hoya take Sunggyu’s car.
Hoya finds himself picking out music for krumping the next day.
The next time he meets Sunggyu is almost a week later. And if Hoya were to be honest to himself, he’d say that he hasn’t stopped thinking about Sunggyu. But Hoya isn’t, so he’s been busy with his next competition that he signed up for a couple of days ago.
“I know a great place for pasta,” Sunggyu had said. So here they are, in a fancy restaurant, waiting for their dinner.
Hoya feels like there’s something different this time. It’s like something in the air has shifted but Hoya can’t pinpoint what it is.
Sunggyu’s outfit for the night is a white dress shirt matched with a classy-looking long grey coat that Hoya supposes must be from some expensive label-Hoya doesn’t know what because he doesn’t care for brands, so all he knows are just street fashion labels-and a pair of skinny jeans. How the fuck anyone can look so good just like that, Hoya doesn’t know either.
They don’t speak much during the dinner, so Hoya spends the time just staring at Sunggyu as subtly as he can. He had, very casually, asked Dongwoo earlier about Sunggyu’s current relationship status. Dongwoo had replied “he’s married” with a very straight face initially and got Hoya all panicking. Then Dongwoo proceeded to laugh-guffawing was more like it-which earned him a death glare from Hoya. But that’s how Hoya knows he’s free to make moves on Sunggyu if he wants to.
Yet he doesn’t even know what he really feels about Sunggyu.
When they walk out of the restaurant onto the streets, Sunggyu immediately shivers violently even though he’s already wearing his coat. Hoya unwinds his own scarf and wraps it around Sunggyu’s neck. He can’t tell if it’s a blush on Sunggyu’s cheeks or if it’s just cold.
Sunggyu thanks him with an earnest smile, and Hoya returns one of his own.
The walk back to Sunggyu’s car is made mostly in silence, until both of them decide to speak at the same time, then start laughing instead. Eventually, it’s Hoya who speaks again first.
“So… I just wanted to thank you,” Hoya starts, “Meeting you has sort of put a little perspective back into my life, and I’m starting to enjoy it more. The thing is, all my life I feel like I have to live for a purpose, and that purpose is fulfilling all my dreams and proving to everyone that I am more than good enough. Dongwoo always tells me that I’ve already achieved that. All my friends tell me that too. But it just feels like it just isn’t quite enough.” Hoya glances up from his hands, looking over at Sunggyu who’s listening to him intently. So Hoya looks away again as he continues.
“I thought Dongwoo was trying to matchmake me with you that other day,” Hoya laughs. “But now I know what he was really trying to do.”
Hoya chews on his lip for all of three seconds then stops in his tracks. Sunggyu stops too. Hoya turns to him. “You’re really special, Sunggyu. And although we haven’t spent much time together, I’m still grateful for having a chance to know you because… I suppose I’m learning to take things easy. Even Dongwoo says my dancing is more enjoyable to watch now.” Hoya scratches his head and smiles sheepishly, then clears his throat.
He reaches for Sunggyu’s gloved hands and holds them, hesitating a bit before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Sunggyu’s flushed cheek. “Thank you.”
Sunggyu chuckles softly, then shakes his head, not withdrawing his hands from Hoya’s grip. “Is that how you usually thank someone?”
Hoya freezes up a little, then relaxes again when Sunggyu grins. He smiles back a little shyly, still not letting go of Sunggyu’s hands.
“On the contrary… for me, I knew Dongwoo was trying to matchmake me with you. I mean, let’s be real, he knows that cute girl from your dance school isn’t my type.” Hoya raises his brows at this point but he doesn’t think Sunggyu catches it. “Trust me, Dongwoo’s set me up with so many people you’ll be surprised. You’re the only one I’ve really clicked with. So… Don’t thank me.”
Hoya tilts his head.
“We should thank Dongwoo,” Sunggyu says with a wide smile.
Hoya laughs.
They end up holding hands all the way to Sunggyu’s car, but Hoya feels like the tension from earlier has lifted, and both of them are smiling more freely now.
They have a discussion about clothes as Sunggyu drives Hoya back, after Hoya makes the mistake of casually mentioning that Sunggyu’s clothes must be really expensive. It evolves into a playful banter and Sunggyu smacks Hoya’s arm, and of course Hoya immediately protests, then Sunggyu laughs. Then Hoya laughs too, because Sunggyu’s laughter is too adorable and too infectious.
When Sunggyu reaches Hoya’s place-“the right turn”, Hoya had murmured when they were on that road again, and Sunggyu took the right one effortlessly-Hoya sits in his car silently, hoping Sunggyu would say something.
It takes another five minutes of classical piano music to play before Sunggyu finally leans over, cupping Hoya’s cheek and turning him to face him before pressing his lips to Hoya’s.
Hoya smiles, then attempts not to smile so widely, but fails miserably anyway, so he leans towards Sunggyu and kisses him back. A slight snow begins to fall slowly outside.
+++++++++
Three months later, Hoya bans anyone from going to the dressing room before his performance so Sunggyu is stuck with Dongwoo in the audience.
“Wait, what do you mean you haven’t seen it? Aren’t you guys always in the same studio?”
Dongwoo nods. “He doesn’t work on this when I’m around so I honestly have no idea what it’s going to be.”
Sunggyu frowns.
“Just wait,” Dongwoo says, “It’s Lee Howon. He won’t disappoint.”
Sunggyu glances at Dongwoo and grins. “Of course.”
When the curtains part for Hoya’s performance, Sunggyu recognizes the music right away. It’s the same piece that he was playing in his car the day he sent him home for the first time. The soft chuckle attracts Dongwoo’s attention, and Sunggyu brushes it off with a slight shake of his head.
The contemporary dance is, as usual, perfect storytelling by Hoya, no surprises there. It is the last evolution of the dance that draws the sudden applause and cheers.
“Oh god.” Sunggyu breathes, unsure if he should be amused or be amazed. It’s actually a fair mixture of both.
Dongwoo is in awe too, because he hasn’t seen Hoya try krumping in years since he failed at that one competition.
Sunggyu knows it’s for him, and pride wells up in his heart. He has always been searching for the sense of security lost to him since his first love. Hoya’s appearance in his life is like the first snowfall of the year, slow and beautiful, then completely transforming the landscape. Sunggyu likes the view now, and he holds on to the scarf tightly in his hands; the scarf Hoya never took back.
He’s safe now. So’s Hoya.
… then I can fly forever.