RIP Toastie the Toaster: 12/25/1999 - 9/6/2009
Dear Toastie,
I still remember the first time I saw you, on Christmas morning almost ten years ago. My first thoughts upon unwrapping you were "geez, I don't eat toast!?! Grandma WTF?" but, over the years I grew to appreciate our relationship. You re-united me with childhood memories of Pop-Tarts and Eggo's, and later you helped me make english muffin pizzas. Sometimes I'd even stick a ceramic ramekin filled with butter on top of you, so that your toasty exhaust might melt it while I was popping popcorn.
But this morning, I woke up to find you non-functional. I discovered that you had tried to toast a tortilla, perhaps in hopes of expanding your cultural horizons... But Toastie, you didn't have to try to be something you could never be. I'd still love you, even if you could only toast white bread. I tried to save you Toastie, I did... but my prayers went unanswered. I succeeded in freeing the crushed tortilla from your innards after a twenty minute struggle, but alas, my efforts were all for naught. For now, you appear whole but you won't latch down. And if you won't latch down, you won't toast. I'm sorry Toastie, but you are no use to me anymore.
So it is with these few words that I bid you adieu, my faithful kitchen companion. You will be missed.
(And you know, my toast sure was tasty out of Mark's toaster oven!)
I still remember the first time I saw you, on Christmas morning almost ten years ago. My first thoughts upon unwrapping you were "geez, I don't eat toast!?! Grandma WTF?" but, over the years I grew to appreciate our relationship. You re-united me with childhood memories of Pop-Tarts and Eggo's, and later you helped me make english muffin pizzas. Sometimes I'd even stick a ceramic ramekin filled with butter on top of you, so that your toasty exhaust might melt it while I was popping popcorn.
But this morning, I woke up to find you non-functional. I discovered that you had tried to toast a tortilla, perhaps in hopes of expanding your cultural horizons... But Toastie, you didn't have to try to be something you could never be. I'd still love you, even if you could only toast white bread. I tried to save you Toastie, I did... but my prayers went unanswered. I succeeded in freeing the crushed tortilla from your innards after a twenty minute struggle, but alas, my efforts were all for naught. For now, you appear whole but you won't latch down. And if you won't latch down, you won't toast. I'm sorry Toastie, but you are no use to me anymore.
So it is with these few words that I bid you adieu, my faithful kitchen companion. You will be missed.
(And you know, my toast sure was tasty out of Mark's toaster oven!)