screwed
warning: this post is long and boring. XD
Shit. Im seriously seriously screwed damn it. Now I hate all those online socializing websites. Why must they be so user-friendly?? Dammit.
I was browsing through this friends page on one particular social website and I came across a whole list of people I know, might know or don’t know, that I might wanna add to my friends list. It’s easy isn’t it? Just add the people I want and ignore everybody else. Yeah, it was downright easy, too easy in fact.
When u have an 11 year old cousin who is holding a grudge against you for not letting him have a go on the ps2 for the fifth time is sitting anywhere near you, the most sensible thing u’d do when u leave ur laptop unattended is to minimize (or shut down) all the windows u don’t want him to see or to give him a chance to mess them up. you wouldn’t leave ur laptop with the page open when a sulking 11 year old who has a high potential of ruining your life is in the same room.
Unfortunately for me, in the midst of answering nature’s calls and a not so important phone call later on, I did everything I shouldn’t do. I thought he was occupied with the dvd I played for him. I thought he wouldn’t have touched my laptop. Apparently, I was wrong. Very very wrong.
So after about 10 minutes, I came back to my room and close all my windows and shut down my laptop without having a last glance at any of them. And that was it. Nothing could have gone wrong, right?
The next day, I logged on to my account and checked whether I had any messages and all that. Things appeared to be normal until I checked out a friend’s profile. Someone, I should call this person ‘M’, said something on this friend of mine, Z’s profile that caught my attention. M was asking Z about this incident that happened to Z a couple of weeks ago. I think Z asked M how M found out about the incident coz Z didn’t tell a lot of people. And then M’s reply really caught my attention. M said something like a girl added M and M was just checking her profile and saw the message about the incident sent by z to the girl. It took me a while to realize that that girl was me.
I wondered how in the world I could have ended up adding M. and then, I checked my hotmail inbox. I didn’t normally check it as it’s just full of junk and I only get messages from this social website on who has confirmed my friend request and who has added me and stuff like that. So I only checked it once a week or so. And then I got a shock in my life when I saw that 5 other people had confirmed my friend request!!! Of the 5, I didn’t know 3 of them and the other 2 are the people I didn’t want to add!!!! And the worst part was, I didn’t add any of them!!!
Then only I realized. It was that brat. He added nearly everybody on that page and somehow he managed to add the person who would, in one way, have the highest effect on me because of my idiocy, which was M. It was, of course too late to undo everything. The only thing I could do was force the truth out of him, which he did eventually after much threat.
I didn’t know who this M person was and checked out M'sprofile and pics and..and…to my greatest horror, M's this person in college whom I would never have added if I had the chance to. Shit. M and I didn’t know each other and we didn’t even know each other’s names. Ok, so M’s just another student from college, right? However, things were not as easy as they seemed to be. M's…erm…someone I just liked to look at. Not knowing M’s name and all that really didn’t matter coz M’s just another college mate. But now that that brat had added M, I’d found out so many things about M, some of them are things that I wished I hadn’t.
How was I ever going to face M again? No,it’s not like we’ve talked face-to-face or something like that, we’d never even uttered a word to each other, but it’s something like what was I going to do when I see M? look away and pretend as if nothing has ever happened? Avoid looking at M? look straight ahead when I walk so that I would not have noticed M if M walks round the corner? Or acknowledge that fact that I have added M and have the -so what? I added you. No big deal-look on my face?
That part was still quite manageable. The part that still bugged me, until now, was the part where M, in an attempt to describe me to Z, said something like ‘some girl added me…’
It made it sound like I was some kind of person who added people up, whether I knew them or not, for fun. It made me sound cheap. I felt like I’d lost my image and been dubbed as a cheap slut. Damn.
The fact that M were friends with Z made things even worse. Z and I were not really good friends. Of course there was never an argument of any such between us, but there was an invisible line that restricts our conversations and i had a slight feeling that Z didn’t like me. Oh well. I just hoped Z hadn't gone round telling Z’s friends about how cheap I was. gosh…thank god there’s only 3 weeks of college left. It’s just too bad that my reputation is about to be ruined during the last few weeks of college. I would have loved to keep a clean record.
Well, I still haven’t quite decided on what to do yet. I’ve deleted the other people I didn’t know, but M…to be honest, one part of me didn’t mind having m there on my friends list while the other felt that deleting would just be fine. We will see.
~~~
I feel that I have already lost my reputation among Z’s friends, and I don’t think I can see M the way I used to. Well, it doesn’t matter now. M is not the person I thought M would be anyway. So I’ll only be losing my reputation, and nothing else...
I feel so much better after typing all this. Of course, the worse is yet to come. As I’d mentioned earlier, I still haven’t faced M yet, and I hope that day will never come.
I’m really sorry for this long and winding post. Yes, I HAD to include every single detail in it. Lol.
and i'm really sorry for making u read this.it's just full of crap and i'm just being paranoid about it. this is not the type of post that i'd planned as a 'welcome back' post after my long absence. im really really sorry. i'll make it up to you guys in the future posts. hopefully, there'll be less rubbish and nonsense in the next posts to come. lol. take care guys! u can expect more posts from me in the next three weeks!! *muax*
Shit. Im seriously seriously screwed damn it. Now I hate all those online socializing websites. Why must they be so user-friendly?? Dammit.
I was browsing through this friends page on one particular social website and I came across a whole list of people I know, might know or don’t know, that I might wanna add to my friends list. It’s easy isn’t it? Just add the people I want and ignore everybody else. Yeah, it was downright easy, too easy in fact.
When u have an 11 year old cousin who is holding a grudge against you for not letting him have a go on the ps2 for the fifth time is sitting anywhere near you, the most sensible thing u’d do when u leave ur laptop unattended is to minimize (or shut down) all the windows u don’t want him to see or to give him a chance to mess them up. you wouldn’t leave ur laptop with the page open when a sulking 11 year old who has a high potential of ruining your life is in the same room.
Unfortunately for me, in the midst of answering nature’s calls and a not so important phone call later on, I did everything I shouldn’t do. I thought he was occupied with the dvd I played for him. I thought he wouldn’t have touched my laptop. Apparently, I was wrong. Very very wrong.
So after about 10 minutes, I came back to my room and close all my windows and shut down my laptop without having a last glance at any of them. And that was it. Nothing could have gone wrong, right?
The next day, I logged on to my account and checked whether I had any messages and all that. Things appeared to be normal until I checked out a friend’s profile. Someone, I should call this person ‘M’, said something on this friend of mine, Z’s profile that caught my attention. M was asking Z about this incident that happened to Z a couple of weeks ago. I think Z asked M how M found out about the incident coz Z didn’t tell a lot of people. And then M’s reply really caught my attention. M said something like a girl added M and M was just checking her profile and saw the message about the incident sent by z to the girl. It took me a while to realize that that girl was me.
I wondered how in the world I could have ended up adding M. and then, I checked my hotmail inbox. I didn’t normally check it as it’s just full of junk and I only get messages from this social website on who has confirmed my friend request and who has added me and stuff like that. So I only checked it once a week or so. And then I got a shock in my life when I saw that 5 other people had confirmed my friend request!!! Of the 5, I didn’t know 3 of them and the other 2 are the people I didn’t want to add!!!! And the worst part was, I didn’t add any of them!!!
Then only I realized. It was that brat. He added nearly everybody on that page and somehow he managed to add the person who would, in one way, have the highest effect on me because of my idiocy, which was M. It was, of course too late to undo everything. The only thing I could do was force the truth out of him, which he did eventually after much threat.
I didn’t know who this M person was and checked out M'sprofile and pics and..and…to my greatest horror, M's this person in college whom I would never have added if I had the chance to. Shit. M and I didn’t know each other and we didn’t even know each other’s names. Ok, so M’s just another student from college, right? However, things were not as easy as they seemed to be. M's…erm…someone I just liked to look at. Not knowing M’s name and all that really didn’t matter coz M’s just another college mate. But now that that brat had added M, I’d found out so many things about M, some of them are things that I wished I hadn’t.
How was I ever going to face M again? No,it’s not like we’ve talked face-to-face or something like that, we’d never even uttered a word to each other, but it’s something like what was I going to do when I see M? look away and pretend as if nothing has ever happened? Avoid looking at M? look straight ahead when I walk so that I would not have noticed M if M walks round the corner? Or acknowledge that fact that I have added M and have the -so what? I added you. No big deal-look on my face?
That part was still quite manageable. The part that still bugged me, until now, was the part where M, in an attempt to describe me to Z, said something like ‘some girl added me…’
It made it sound like I was some kind of person who added people up, whether I knew them or not, for fun. It made me sound cheap. I felt like I’d lost my image and been dubbed as a cheap slut. Damn.
The fact that M were friends with Z made things even worse. Z and I were not really good friends. Of course there was never an argument of any such between us, but there was an invisible line that restricts our conversations and i had a slight feeling that Z didn’t like me. Oh well. I just hoped Z hadn't gone round telling Z’s friends about how cheap I was. gosh…thank god there’s only 3 weeks of college left. It’s just too bad that my reputation is about to be ruined during the last few weeks of college. I would have loved to keep a clean record.
Well, I still haven’t quite decided on what to do yet. I’ve deleted the other people I didn’t know, but M…to be honest, one part of me didn’t mind having m there on my friends list while the other felt that deleting would just be fine. We will see.
~~~
I feel that I have already lost my reputation among Z’s friends, and I don’t think I can see M the way I used to. Well, it doesn’t matter now. M is not the person I thought M would be anyway. So I’ll only be losing my reputation, and nothing else...
I feel so much better after typing all this. Of course, the worse is yet to come. As I’d mentioned earlier, I still haven’t faced M yet, and I hope that day will never come.
I’m really sorry for this long and winding post. Yes, I HAD to include every single detail in it. Lol.
and i'm really sorry for making u read this.it's just full of crap and i'm just being paranoid about it. this is not the type of post that i'd planned as a 'welcome back' post after my long absence. im really really sorry. i'll make it up to you guys in the future posts. hopefully, there'll be less rubbish and nonsense in the next posts to come. lol. take care guys! u can expect more posts from me in the next three weeks!! *muax*