You Forget To Breathe - Part 2 of 2
Title : You Forget To Breathe
Rating : NC-17
Pairing : Jensen/Jared and canon Twilight couples.
Word Count : 17.5kish. (Posted in two parts.) *Not including Always a Cowboy and Epilogue of sorts.
Summary : When police officer Jared Padalecki moved to the small town of Forks he never expected to meet someone like Dr. Jensen Cullen. As it turns out, he's in for a hell of a surprise... or two.
Notes : For spnchallenges. A J2 take on the movie/book Twilight. This part has not been grammar beta'd. I apologize if it annoys you, but hopefully my grammar isn't too bad. (Grammar being commas.)
Disclaimer : Don't own. Even a bit.
Jared was never an overly religious person, but he swore that right then, at that very moment, God hated him. The amount of time he had spent with Jensen amounted to near none and work never seemed to end. It had been two days since he’d learned Jensen’s secret and the questions never seemed to stop screaming in his mind.
Each morning he would wake up and question the words, question whether or not Jensen was really a vampire. The answer was always the same; he was telling the truth. All of the urban legends pointed to death and blood surrounding the vampire society and Jared knew he should be terrified, shitting himself at the mere sight of Jensen and his family. Instead his eyes would brush across the curve of Jensen’s stone cold body, crawl over the skin and picture it bare.
The phone rang, loud and piercing in his mind. Jared had forgotten he was at work, a pile of papers spewed out before him like Charlie had thrown up in the form of paper work. In reality, that’s just what it was. It was a mess of this and that and all the left over reports that the other officers decided to pass off to the new guy, despite him being there for over four months now.
An officer just slightly older than him came to the desk, eyes mirroring something along the lines of pity. “This one’s yours, Padalecki. Sorry man,” he said.
Jared was used to it by now, the jobs that no one else wanted. Just yesterday he’d been sent to the residence of a sweet old lady, bitter about what he had been told was ‘missing property’. The missing property turned out to be an older cat, named Stevie after the woman’s late husband. She had described the cat as small and precious, her child almost. The inside of her house was unlike he’d ever seen, walls covered in pictures of that damned cat displayed like a mother would display her child’s scribbled artwork.
After two and a half hours of searching Jared found Stevie, cold and quiet beneath a crook in the porch. Breaking the news to the older lady was like clawing out her eyes. She cried on his shoulder, wrinkled fingers gripping tightly onto him as if he was her life support. Any other officer would’ve found it funny, ridiculous even, but instead he found it heart breaking.
Jared was certain that no case, no matter how weird, could top that. “What’s up?” Jared asked the officer who was still standing there, patient and calm.
“There was a fight down on LaPush, couple boys got into it bad.”
The ride down to the reservation was quiet. It was a peaceful day, the wind steady and the sun peeking through the clouds with a distinct shyness. The air got thicker as he drove into the driveway of an older ranch style home, like fingers wrapping around his neck and squeezing the breath from his lungs.
Jared had been told that there was a fight. It was only logical to be expecting two boys with bruises and cuts from a fight that was long over. Instead, he looked towards two people, one more boyish than the other, more muscular man. The smaller one just kept throwing punches and his knuckles were red and coated in blood from cracked skin.
“That’s enough!” Jared shouted, inserting himself between the two.
It was an action that Jared would later regret. Within just moments there were two or three connections to his face and chest from the smaller boy. He reached out and pushed him away, only to receive an aggressive shove that put Alice Cullen to shame. A brick wall didn’t fit the feeling of being pushed down with that amount of force. It took him a few minutes to realize what had happened and by then the larger man was nowhere to be seen.
Jared was bleeding from his nose and mouth and maybe even his forehead, he wasn’t quite sure. There was a pounding pain like the combination of a bad hangover and being hit with a sledgehammer.
He groaned as he got to his feet, dizzy and slightly disoriented. “Back up needed,” he mumbled into the walkie-talkie on his shoulder, the rest of his words lost in the back of his mind.
Charlie arrived within ten minutes, his face filled with shock and something else that probably equaled to ‘oh shit.’ There was another man outside then, too. He was older, around Charlie’s age, and in a wheel chair.
“Billy what the hell happened?” Charlie asked the man who was rolling towards them as they both took in Jared’s painted red face.
“You’ll have to ask Jacob, Charlie. Oh hell, I’m so sorry,” Jared thought maybe Billy was talking to him but he was still a little dazed, thinking about cats and donuts and that awful taste that gnawed at the back of his throat.
The world began to spin and Jared felt himself fighting the urge to close his eyes. Someone must’ve noticed the slightly wobble in his posture and already forming bruise across his bloodied face because the next thing he knew Charlie was at his side, holding him tightly.
“Let’s get you to the hospital, Jared,” Charlie was saying, and just as Jared opened his mouth to protest the taste of blood and breakfast and maybe some of last night’s dinner all rise in his throat.
Jared felt bad, he really did, because he was pretty sure he remembered Charlie talking about how he had just bought need boots a week before. “M’sorry,” Jared mumbled, barely holding himself up anymore.
The ride to the hospital was long and hectic. Charlie kept smacking him to make sure he was awake and he wanted to say something about how hitting his already bruised body probably wouldn’t help too much, but like verbal vomit he found himself dry heaving and gagging on the God-awful taste of blood and bacon.
Charlie was full of concern, Jared knew, but all that showed in his dark expression was that he was pissed. First the shoes, then the dashboard, and he was pretty sure that if he got anywhere near Charlie’s gun that he would have some real shit to worry about.
This time when he leaned his head against the window the chief didn’t bother him, or smack him, or maybe he did and Jared was just too tired to realize. The ride to the hospital was taking a damn long time and he wanted some breath mints bad.
Few more minutes, Jared reminded himself before closing his tired eyes.
Jared’s just a breath away from sleep when they pull into the parking lot. Within those few seconds there’s silence and then there’s yelling, shouting of three or four different people. They sound like they’re screaming in his ear but he can see the blurs through his half lidded eyes. They’re racing around the car, pushing something that looks like a stretcher, white and long.
One of them says his name, kind yet strong in tone, and then there’s arms trying to get him up. Jared’s not overly bulky but his muscle stretches long and wide and after two unsuccessful yanks there’s a moment of peace.
Jared wants to groan, say thank God because he swears that the person was trying to pull his arm out of place. Before he can even finish the thought there’s a coolness surrounding him and then he’s being pulled like a weightless feather from the car and to the waiting stretcher. It takes him just a second, one too many, and then he realizes the curl of the fingers and the sweet smell of vanilla.
“Jen,” he’s pushing out.
“Shh, it’s okay, Jay,” the voice is comforting, soothing to the pounding in his head. Jared thinks of nodding, agreeing, but quickly passes on the idea because even just tilting his head to look at Jensen feels like there’s an ice pick digging into his skull.
The next hour is one of pure torture, a repeated torture because God damnit he hit his head again. There is talk of multiple head injuries and even a whisper of death but Jared just wants to laugh because death doesn’t look so bad when you’re boyfriend’s a vampire.
Boyfriend. Jared calls the nurse back in, asking for whatever test he’d previously declined. The pretty red-headed woman is giving him a look like he’s insane because he’d spent an hour talking his way out of the test and now he’s practically begging for it. “I think the head injury is worse than I thought,” Jared says, thinking to himself that boyfriend has to be a product of his head becoming friends with the ground.
It’s another round of tests, long and tiring, and Jared doesn’t think it can possibly be good for his head. They’ve got him telling them letters like it’s some kind of spelling bee. One of his nurses, a red-headed lady, is nice enough. But Jared swears upon everything holy that if she doesn’t take advantage of the fancy invention called pockets, he’s going to to tape her freezing cold wrinkly hands inside a microwave. When she’s got her hand up his shirt, it’s not like Jensen. In fact it’s more like what a vampire should feel like. Creep and crawly and a natural born ice chest, and Jared makes a note to ask Jensen if there’s any chance that Pamela is a vampire.
Finally when they’ve poked and prodded at every last curve of his body, places that he’s positive have nothing to do with his head, they leave him alone. Jared’s grumpy and mad, his face resembling a twisted puppy dog that got his bone taken away. Jensen apparently had to go play hero to a five year old girl who fell out of a tree. As sweet as hero Jensen is, Jared’s feeling selfish and wishes Jensen had done all the ‘observations’.
The walls of the room are white, boring, and he’s trying to paint them pastel with his eyes when Jensen walks in. It’s like Jensen can read his mind and Jared has to remind himself No that’s Edward. He soon finds out that no matter how hard he tries he can’t make the walls look half as interesting as Jensen’s cold fingers feel against his cheek.
When their eyes meet it’s like Jensen’s not even a doctor anymore. There’s a look of pure worry in Jensen’s eyes despite knowing that Jared is going to be fine. They’re comfortable together, just staring, and Jared can feel the ache in his head dulling down. Jensen’s magical, some kind of miracle, but that’s nothing new.
“What the hell happened, Jared? This must’ve been one big rock,” Jensen’s voice was dripping with the concern shown on his face but held a slight sign of humor. Jared’s surprised that Charlie had not briefed Jensen on what happened, and once again Jensen works his magic when he says, “Charlie had to leave, said he needed to take care of something.”
Jensen doesn’t seem worried that they’re in a public place. He just moves closer to Jared, resting his hands on Jared’s thighs. “There was a fight down in LaPush, just some stupid kids,” Jared’s voice cracks on the word ‘kids’. He can recall the tall stature of the one that had pushed him, the force he had in his arms.
Jensen’s face tightens and he looks about as angry as Jared’s mama was after Jared broke her favorite vase. “LaPush,” The doctor’s voice claws at the word.
“Really it’s not a big deal, Jen. I’m fine,” Jared’s smile is only half convincing, but Jensen doesn’t fight the attempt at a subject change.
“Anyways,” Jensen says as he’s looking through a pile of papers. “Your tests came back fine, but we’re going to have to keep you over night.”
Everything is tense for just a moment before Jared groans and Jensen laughs, a sparkle in his eye. “Oh c’mon, it won’t be so bad. I’m on call tonight,” He winks at Jared like he’s got plans but they both know sex in a hospital bed is not the way to go.
Jensen has to go back to work and it’s an hour later when Jared realizes that his ‘boyfriend’ or whatever isn’t just a vampire, but hell yes he is a doctor with connections. Jared’s got a private room and a freakishly comfortable hospital bed that he wouldn’t mind having sex in.
The images of Jensen playing doctor with him immediately leave when Charlie walks into the room. The chief looks like he has a world of stress on his shoulders. Jared doesn’t think it’s possible to age 10 years in a day, but if it were Charlie would be a prime example. The lines under his eyes are think and his hair is a heavier shade of grey than it was that morning.
“Do you want to press charges?” is the first thing Charlie asks, his eyes on the tiled floor the entire time.
“Press charges?” It’s a silly question, but in all honesty Jared has no idea who the boy was that pushed him.
“His name’s Embry Call,” Charlie’s trying to fill in the blanks, answer question Jared’s eyes must be asking. “Jacob Black and he were fighting, Billy said that Embry’s going through some changes lately,” he pauses, “and I’m not saying it’s an excuse or anything but -“
Jared interrupts him, “Nah. I won’t press charges.”
Charlie looks surprised more than anything, and finally it fades to relief. “Thank you,” his voice is as stressed as his face when he speaks.
Jared gets the impression that Charlie was doing a favor for a friend, and that’s okay. Nothing was broken and he’s sure the chief can take up the shoe issue with this Embry character. For the first time since he’s got here it’s feeling like a real home, like he belongs and is doing something good.
“You’re welcome.”
Jensen comes in just moments after Charlie leaves. He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and the threshold of the door is like a barrier between that baring and... their peace.
When Jared's around Jensen he can breathe easier. The air in his lungs flows freely, and he's so completely comfortable with the space between them and the emptiness of a room.
And Jensen, well Jensen's not the tense doctor that stitched him up. Jensen's found a comfort with him too and it's like a puzzle interlocking.
Jensen's working carefully around him, looking at papers and running his cool fingers across Jared's swollen scalp. When Jared shudders or breathes in, Jensen steps back and writes on his pad, a note that doesn't quite need words.
“Okay, all done. Listen, Jay,” Jared is used to the nickname, but the way it rolls off Jensen's tongue is so different. “You got to be careful, man. As much as I like seeing you around here, it's not cool that you're using up all my thread.”
They laugh, an easy exchange. And Jared can't help it, the thought passing through his mind. I like seeing you too.
The heat on his cheeks is foreign to him now. He's so used to Jensen and the cold skin, the blanket of ice that would coat him. Before Jensen, he would've appreciated the sun on his face, but now it felt wrong.
Jared wasn't sure why it was the morning or what happened to the night but he vaguely remembered closing his eyes after Charlie left. He was so tired, the events waring down on his body. That didn't matter though, Jared was sure. He refused to complain or ask for something to help soothe the sore ache in his skull because all he wanted to do was to go home and sleep. A nurse had woken him up every three hours to ask him questions that he barely understood and the black under his eyes showed his exhaustion.
There's small vase with flowers next to his bed and Jared figures one of the nurses must've brought it in when he was sleeping. They're pretty, daisies, and Jared can't help but laugh. A small card is tucked in with them and he reaches for it, his arms heavy. The letters are pristine, just like Jensen, and he knows they're from the doctor before he even reads the scroll of a J.
It's sweet, Jared thinks. At first he thought they were just a get well gift, something to cheer on his recovery. Instead, when an older man knocks on the door and introduces him as Dr. Cullen's colleague it all makes sense. The flowers were to say sorry and Jared can't help but snort because they did their job and he's not the least bit angry at Jensen for not being there. Of course he's disappointed, but he'll get over it because Jensen never stays away for long.
The man's less worried about Jared than Jensen was and Jared's glad to hear that he can leave. The paper work takes a while, too long, but finally he's able to walk out the door with flowers in his hand and smell air. It's so under appreciated, he realizes, the smell of the air. The hospital was stale and gross, but out here he can finally just breathe. Jared wonders if Jensen misses it, breathing.
Jensen looks tired when he shows up at Jared's door that night. He knows Jensen can't physically be tired, that his legs don't ache when he's walked too much. It's a different kind of tired but Jared understands it all the same. Jensen still thinks, has a mind, and whatever has been running through it today has left the man mentally wiped.
“I was worried about you,” is all Jensen says. The routine they've developed in a short time stands, and Jared puts his hand out and within a heart beat Jensen's fingers are wrapped around his and they're walking to the bedroom.
“Do you remember what happened?” Jensen asks after they've settled beneath the useless blankets, fully clothed.
“Couple teens got into it. Charlie knows them, though. Said Jacob's been having a rough time.”
“Jacob Black did this to you?” Jensen's voice comes out in a sharp hiss.
Jared's never heard him so angry, it should be scary because he knows how powerful vampires are. He had seen very clearly the result of a determined vampire, and if Jensen's force was anything compared to Edward's, he didn't want to even tip-toe on the line of Jensen's bad side.
“No. God no.” The laugh that Jared lets off seems to ease the tension in the room but it's still there, thick and hanging directly over their heads. “Embry something or another. Real big mother fucker.”
Something clicks in the doctor's head when Jared says Embry's name. Jared's afraid to breathe because he can feel the knife in the air without even seeing it. Jensen finally speaks, his voice painfully sharp, “I could smell him on you. I just didn't know he had turned.”
Jared feels his face twist in confusion and like fragile glass the tension breaks when Jensen bursts out in hounds of laughter. “He's a wolf, Jay,” Jensen says as if it's going to all be clear to Jared with those words and all it does is confusion Jared even more.
“You mean like... werewolf? Full moon-howling-silver bullet issues werewolf? Damn, good thing the county issues good amo.”
Jensen's laughing again like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. “Something like that.”
Jared turns and lifts himself up on his elbow, looking down at his companion. “I - This is just a little bit too weird, but I guess if vampires exist why not wer- Hey wait! I smelled like him? Like a fucking dog? Asshole,” Jared's voice isn't the least bit convincing but the tension and pain is gone. He's pretty sure he'll sleep good tonight, Jensen at his side.
Jared remembers that his mom always used to call him 'special.' It wasn't the gifted kind of special, or the super awesome sparkle-worthy special. It was the kind of special that at least one kid in every class in kindergarten had. He couldn't sit still, always fidgeted like he was nervous or had stolen his dad's secret stash of candy.
It had nothing to do with that though. Jared had only sneaked into his dad's candy stash once and as luck had it, he was caught, twizzler in mouth. The constant movements, playing with his fingers, and doodling swirls that had no meaning other than to just be lines, it was all because he was simply bored. The repetitive school days drove him to the verge of tears. Math first, then science, and it all seemed to blur together after a while.
Adult life was a welcome change to just get out of that stupid strict mold that had been built around him. That was exactly why this should have gotten boring to Jared. This every day going to work, coming home to cook dinner, and wait for Jensen. Still, two weeks, and three weeks in, it was anything but that.
Jensen would lay beside him in bed, hold him and they'd talk lightly until Jared's whispers became snores. Sometimes Jensen would be there in the morning, cooking breakfast that always made Jared weep with joy because the guy knew how to cook a good pancake.
It was that very rhythm that had him sitting on his couch that night, staring at the clock that read clearly 11:30. Jensen was late, and he was never late.
Jared shouldn't have expected a phone call, Jensen didn't really do phones. Despite that he held it firmly in his lap, starring at the small screen like he could will it to read “Jensen Cullen.”
It was 20 after midnight when Jensen finally arrived, Jared still sitting on the couch with the phone in place and worry on his face. “Is everything okay, Jen?” His voice held the nickname with admiration, firm and caring.
“Alice was having some problems, but Jasper's got her now,” Jensen explained as he took off his jacket.
Jared should've understood, he knew Jensen had a family, knew they came first. Instead of common sense he's hit with jealousy and all that built up worry pouring out. “You should've called, Jensen. I was waiting for you.”
They're standing now, face to face. Jared can feel Jensen's intentional breathing on his skin and he wants to yell at him, beg him to stop it because he hates this human side of Jensen and those fucking eyes.
“I can take care of myself.”
“Bull shit.”
Jensen looks shocked at Jared's words, like he's been hit with ice cold water that could freeze even his skin. Lips move, trying to form words, but for the first time in a long time Jensen's speechless and Jared's just standing there, eyes aching and chest pounding with his heavy anger.
“I'm sorry,” Jensen whispers, sincere and honest-to-God or whoever really sorry. He's hurt Jared, and he knows it, and if it was possible it'd be killing him.
The anger drifts from Jared's body, his shoulders easing and his eyes softening like a warm caramel. He steps forward, leaning against Jensen's chest like he needs Jensen for support, and for some reason he refuses to acknowledge, he does.
It's natural for them, the way Jensen's arms curl around Jared and hold him tight. Their look is one of ease and something else, and like bugs to the light their lips are touching, soft and feather-like.
They've done this before, the thing where their tongues touch and their hands explore each other with wonder. It's different somehow, though. Jensen's fingers are still so cold but Jared's only feeling heat.
Jared allows his fingers to travel, grip around the strong curves that are Jensen's perfect ass. One of them is moaning, and then they both are, thick and heavy and grinding hard against each other like this is what they both need to live.
He's being hauled up by strong arms, and his legs wrap around Jensen's waist, tight and he's still moving against that perfectly sculpted body. Jared's hard, his cock dripping with precome by the time Jensen dumps him on the bed.
Sometime between Jensen's pulling at his buttons and zipper and the kisses trailing down his chest he remembers that Jensen wasn't ready, wasn't sure. “Jen. God - Jen stop.”
The look Jensen gives him is questioning but not angry. “What's wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No, fuck no. Just... are you ready?” The question should be the other way around because it's him who is two steps away from getting fucked into the mattress, not Jensen.
“I'll take good care of you, Jay.”
That's all they need before Jensen is sucking at Jared's neck, marking him in the most erotic and ironic way. There's clothes spreading across the floor, forgotten in a messy pile.
Jensen's the most beautiful thing Jared's ever seen. He's got muscles that are carved and chiseled, hair crawling up the center of his lower abdomen and a gorgeous full cock that's uncut and weeping, waiting for Jared's pretty little body to open up.
Jared's putty in Jensen's hands, melting and curving at every move of the cool fingers. And those piercing green eyes are looking at Jared's cock like it's some kind of lollipop but there's no time for that, not now. They're both ready to burst and no dream or quick hand job could amount to the feeling of sheer high when Jensen's fingers begin fucking his hole.
They're both far cries from virgins, but it feels like the first time again. There's that first bit of pain with the arrival of a second long digit, and the sting with the third, but Jared's grinding down against them like a hungry whore.
“Please.” His voice is hot and burning like acid in the air, and he knows Jensen won't even think twice.
Jensen's long, wide, and Jared's got his eyes clutched shut as Jensen pushes his cock deep inside. It's hurting, a good kind of hurt that makes him want more because more means Jensen.
When he gives the okay, a simple nod, it's like a light clicks on in Jensen. The world blurs with the thrusts, and the bed is cracking against the wall. Jensen's moving like some kind of animal, his body going at an inhuman pace, fucking in and out and out and in, and Jared's already screaming because Jensen is so deep, and it's so good.
“God, so fucking tight, baby. So hot,” Jensen is grunting and the bed is banging against the wall faster and harder with each thrust. It's like a climb up mount Everest. Long, tiring, and so fucking worth the pain he's going to be feeling for a few days or possibly weeks after this.
Jensen's coming just as hard as he was thrusting, and Jared's bursting in a hand he didn't know he had wrapped around his cock. They're both spent and done, but moaning still like Jensen got so deep it's going to keep fucking Jared for life.
When Jensen pulls out it's like losing a piece of him, and he feels empty. That feeling is gone when they're wrapped together, and Jared's never been so grateful for the coolness of Jensen's body because he feels like he's going to burst into flames.
“So this is why Alice didn't want me coming over,” Jensen whispers.
Jared wakes up in a pool of sweat and dried come. It shouldn't be so erotic, feeling so completely well-fucked, but it is. Jensen's still at his side, eyes open and just watching Jared with a calm expression that Jared doesn't want to identify.
“Jensen,” His voice is worn like some kind of antique, dry and coarse from the screams the night before.
“Shh,” Jensen's whispering, pushing a cool glass to Jared's lips. Sometimes Jared wonders if maybe Edward's not the only mind reader in the family, because Jensen always just knows.
When Jared tries to move he feels every inch of his body tense. He knows exactly just how deep and hard Jensen went. It's the most amazing and painful thing Jared's ever experienced.
Finally he brings himself to his feet, bare skin hitting the cool air with a slight shock. He smells like sex and man. Jared knows Jensen has a heightened sense of smell and even Jared's nose is crinkling at the smell of his armpits.
He's got his nose crinkled up, his tongue sticking out in a clear sign of yuck. Jared turns to Jensen, then, graceful and slow on his heels. Jared's two breaths from laughing but Jensen looks like he's been hit by a train. It's the first time in a long time Jared realizes exactly how Jensen looks like when he's not breathing. So completely still, as if he were an ice sculpture. Jared knows better than anyone, that that's exactly how Jensen feels too.
“Jen?”
“Look what I did, Jared,” Jensen's voice is barely a pained whisper in the silent room.
When Jared walks to the mirror, he sees it, exactly what Jensen is so fucked up over. There's bruises on Jared's hips, and he can make out each finger on Jensen's hand, carved into his purple skin.
It's kind of beautiful, Jared thinks. The colors are like a perfectly mixed paint, and it looks so pretty against his tanned skin. He could get used to this, these marks that make him totally Jensen's.
“They don't hurt,” he finally speaks, and Jensen makes a noise that sounds like yeah right.
“I'm a big boy, Jensen. You can't break me.” Truth is, Jensen could snap him in two. They both know that, and as scary as it should be, Jared literally trusts Jensen with his life.
“You have to trust me.”
Jensen does, and over the next few days Jared knows it still kills Jensen every time Jared strips bare and the bruises stand fading but still violent on his skin.
They take it slow, learning each curve. Jared's still hurting from Jensen being in him, and no matter how much he begs Jensen won't give him what he wants.
Tonight is a lot like all the other nights this week. Jensen came right from work and they sit and talk. There's care in the simple questions of 'how was your day?' and 'any asses I need to kick?'
Then Jensen takes Jared to the bed, and peels of their clothes so slowly Jared feels like he's going to stop breathing if Jensen's not naked against him soon. They kiss, hard and slow, fast and passionate. It's never exactly the same, always a different level of high.
And it turns out Jensen's lips are good for a lot more than just talking. Jared's developed a sort of kink for spreading his legs and watching Jensen bury himself between them and swallow Jared greedily. Not breathing comes in handy, because Jared can fuck Jensen's mouth to the point where he swears he can feel Jensen from the inside.
They're never restrained, never cautious when it comes to Jared's hips thrusting into Jensen's face. Like everything else with Jensen, it's so completely different, and so fucking good.
Jared doesn't know what happens after he comes, his world always just stills. He's learned all colors of the rainbow in intricate detail. When they flash in his eyes it's as if he's seeing an old friend, blue and black and holy fuck red.
When Jared's done and empty, chest heaving up and down, Jensen licks bruises that he's left, new and old. Some are a light green now, fading into the creamy tone of Jared. He licks all the way to Jared's mouth, and then in and out, and Jared can just taste himself right there.
He's gotten to know Jensen better, that much is obvious. But more than that, he knows himself better. Jensen completes him in a way that is too scary to even acknowledge.
Tonight, as they're lying in bed, tied together, Jensen's tenser than usual. Ever since he showed up his shoulders have been in a knot, and it's worrying to see.
“What's wrong?”
Jensen looks at him, almost with a sad look. “Jared... I need to leave. Tomorrow.”
Jared doesn't know what Jensen means by leave. The word never scared him before, but now he's terrified. Jensen leaving is like walking around without his heart.
“Alice needs to get out of town for a bit. I told her I'd take her hunting with Emmett. It's only for a little bit, I promise.”
It still hurts, even just knowing that this thing they have is going to have to pause for a short time. Jared realizes later that day, after he's kissed Jensen goodbye and dressed in his uniform, that he's being a total girl about this.
Jensen never promised him anything, he never had to. Jared doesn't know what it is that they have, but being like this isn't how he should be. He's so puzzled with the situation, and he knows exactly what he has to do.
So after work when he's in Jensen's ridiculous PJ pants that he left behind, Jared calls his mom. It only takes a ring or two before he hears her voice on the other line, sounding sweet and Jared swears he can just smell the home cooked meal on her hands.
He still talks to her every week, but she knows right away this time his different.
“Mama... I've been - I've been seeing someone,” Jared says, his voice light and nervous. He's not sure that 'seeing' is quite the word but he doesn't know what else he can say.
She makes him pour his heart, her voice like her arms wrapping around him and just holding him in reassurance. It's hours before he hangs up, and the phone bill is going to be really fucking high, but he doesn't care.
Her words echo in his head. So cliché, and he knows it, but for the first time in his life they make sense. Follow your heart. Every way he looks at it, no matter which way he turns, his heart always leads him right back to Jensen.
Jensen leaves the next day. He comes over early in the morning, long before the sun meets the sky. Jared can feel Jensen's cool fingers sliding on his cheek, and then the press of those lips against his forehead. When he opens his eyes, Jensen's already looking into his soul. It's odd. Jared's fully clothed, pants and shirt, and yet he feels completely bare in front of those eyes.
Jensen kisses him once, and Jared's glad that it feels nothing like a goodbye. It's an, I'll see you later. An, I'll miss you. Jared kisses back, saying all the same and words he doesn't even understand.
At work, he's notably upset. So far two senior officers have asked him what was wrong, and even a younger man making a comment towards his sour frown. Jared doesn't smile or laugh like he should, and they instantly know to leave it alone.
Charlie, on the other hand, has never been good at taking hints. “Man, Padalecki. You're acting like they canceled Supernatural or something,” Charlie jibes. As sad as Jared would be if they took his favorite show off the air, it's nothing compared to this. He knows tonight Jensen won't show up, that they won't talk and kiss and love, and that in the morning there won't be a sweet note on his pillow or the smell of cooking pancakes in the kitchen.
He's more attached than a puppy. Jared doesn't even realize how lost he is in his thoughts until Charlie has his hand in front of Jared's eyes and is making bunny ears that look more like a little claw.
“Earth to Padalecki.”
“Yeah, sorry, chief.” Jared's smile is pitiful, barely even resembling okay let alone happy.
“Look, Jared,” Charlie says, his voice taking a more fatherly tone, “Why don't you run an errand for me then head home?”
Jared wants to say no because home has nothing to offer. He'll sit on the couch all day, moping and probably end up calling his mother again. And even with the crazy amount of love he feels for his mother, he feels like a little kid running to his mom to kiss his boo-boo better.
“Okay,” He's saying it before he even realizes words are in his throat.
“Good. Well, I need you to run this,” he holds up a box of what looks like ribbons or some kind of soft fabric, “to the Cullen's.”
When Charlie says the name it's like being hit by a boulder, or two. Jared's already agreed and there's no way out of this one. Jensen wouldn't be there even if he was in town, and Jared's dreading knocking on their door.
The drive to the house is slow. He's going at least ten below the speed limit, whistling to himself to keep his mind off of Oh shit. The house is gorgeous, big and open. It's nothing like what he pictured a vampire would live in, but the surprise is welcome none the less.
And despite his brain telling him not to go and to just leave the box on the front step, his legs have another plan in mind. He's knocking and someones opening the door before he even realizes he'd actually knocked on the Cullen's door when Jensen wasn't home.
Though he's never seen the women before, he knows immediately who she is. She's beautiful and young, her face porcelain and polite. Esme's just as magnificent as the rest of the Cullen's, and she has a look that's so kind it almost kills Jared.
“Come in, Jared,” Her voice is like notes on a piano, and he can't help that he walks through the door. Like everything else around these... people, he has no control over his actions.
“You know who I am.” The shock in Jared's voice is a bit flat. He should know better than to think that he was some kind of secret. Alice knew what her father was doing with Jared that first night, and Edward's seen some pretty explicit thoughts.
“Of course.” She takes the box from Jared and sets it on a nearby table. “Thank you. Alice left these with Bella. Silly girls.”
Jared doesn't know what to say. Luckily, Esme has more than enough on her mind to make up for his awkward silence. “Is he happy?” She asks, and Jared thinks that this family will never cease to amaze him.
“I- I... I think so.” Esme nods at Jared's reply, a sad smile on her pretty face.
“I love him, Jared. I do. But, you see, it's been a long time since he's smiled like this. It's like you've shown him what it's like to live again.” She pauses as she leads them to the living room, sitting down with her arms crossed in his lap. “For the first week he tried to sneak out,” she's laughing at the words, and Jared agrees, with a mind reader and a psychic sneaking out is kind of useless.
“Alice tried to stop him, once. She would've done anything to keep him from you. She should know by now some things are just destined to happen.” Esme can't even look at Jared anymore, but it doesn't offend him even a bit. This is hard for her, and he
can practically feel the hurt in her bones.
“Thank you, Jared.”
Even as he's walking back out of the house and heading home, he can't quite grasp it. Whatever just happened, Jared knows, that in those three words she handed over Jensen's once beating heart.
By the time Jared makes it home the sun is setting, a beautiful hue of violet and orange painted together across the darkening sky. He's tired, his mind rattling through details that probably don't matter.
He had gone to dinner at a small restaurant. It was small and quaint, just like Charlie had said it would be. Apparently this was a hot spot for the locals, and Charlie enjoyed taking Bella here once in a while for a quick bite to eat.
Jared didn't remember tasting the food. The cheeseburger looked delicious, cooked just like his father made them, but even as he chewed the flavors didn't quite hit in his mouth. The fear of what he felt sat deep in his stomach, curling in his gut. This was different than any school boy crush or one night stand. Those were always easy to put a name to, but not this.
His mind is still stuck on finding words as he walks up the walkway to his house. The easing sun is still shining delicately through the window but not nearly enough to keep him from falling over his couch. Just like all his other run-ins with inanimate objects he ends up face first in the floor, groaning out of frustration instead of pain.
Nothing hurts, nothing is broken, and even if his head is bleeding it damn well stop by the time he gets done cursing at the furniture. Luckily when Jared makes his way to the light switch and then the bathroom there's sure enough no blood. Not even his good friend nose bleed came to visit, and it's enough to put a wicked smirk of satisfaction on his face. He may have lost the battles, but he won this damn war.
Jared's still smiling into the mirror when a small sound comes from the living room. It's a slight creak, his floorboards old and original to the house.
“Jensen?” It's the first thing to come to his mind. Despite knowing that
Jensen is far away, eating some poor goat or other furry creature Jared doesn't want to think about.
There's no answer. He checks the rooms, quiet and careful, and there's nothing. Jared's tired and half delirious, pointing angrily at his floors, “I won fair and square. Don't go all revenge is a bitch on me, man.”
The floors don't answer, just like they didn't before, and Jared just laughs at himself for what might be a good ten minutes. “God damn, next I'll start talking to the coffee maker,” he's whispering, Sadie looking at him in agreement that he is in fact a nut job.
Harley's not there though, not curled on the couch like he usually is when Jared gets home from work. The dogs have developed their own keen sense of routine, involving running into the bathroom as soon as Jensen appears. Jared likes to think they're warming up to him, but the funny thing is that Jensen's even warming up to them, and he's even developed a knack for bringing dog treats from God knows where for them.
“Harley?” Jared walks down the hall. His bedroom door is open and Harley's there, growling at the window.
It's an odd sight, and for the dogs sake he looks out the window. It's dark outside, the winds picking up a bit, but otherwise it's oddly quiet.
“C'mon, boy. How about you go out back for a bit, huh? Maybe you'll find a nice squirrel to chase.”
Afterward he takes a shower. It's different not having Jensen there with him. Jensen's always pretty quiet, but despite that this is just too quiet.
When he walks into his bedroom he can hear Harley and Sadie barking outside. Their growls are snapping with their jaws, loud and piercing into the night sky. Jared walks to the window, peeking out and both of them have their hair standing directly up and just keep barking up at his fucking window.
The room shifts, like a whirlwind, and he turns on his heel to face “Edward? What the hell?”
Luckily Jared's dressed. Topless, but wearing his now favorite pair of Jensen's PJ pants.
“It's not enough for you to fuck Jensen but now you have to screw
with Esme too?”
The anger in Edward's voice is unlike anything Jared's ever heard before. There's a deep boiling of fire and Jared swears Edward's eyes are darker than night.
“Edward, you should go home.”
Jared's words fall on deaf ears and Edward takes graceful steps towards him, coming closer until the space between them is barely enough to breathe. Jared can see it now, that golden hunger in Edward's eyes.
“Leave him alone.”
“...No.” Jared doesn't know where the word comes from, but it's direct and pointed.
The moment is short and there's just a second or two between Jared looking down and watching Edward's first close so hard that there's a crunch like cracking bones.
The fist connects with Jared's face, a force so hard he's thrown into the wall behind him and leaves a crack where he hits. Edward doesn't give him a chance to do anything before he stands over Jared and presses the fist down again, this time into his stomach. The pain is intense, ripping through every nerve in his body.
He's not sure how many more throws Edward gets in, or how many more cracks and fucking rips come from his beaten body. Jared's sure his eye is already swollen, puffy and red and the darkness is comforting in the midst of the incredible pain.
Jared barely recognizes the sound of... paws. Paws? Harley and Sadie are still outside, barking even crazier than before, but the movement across the room sounds exactly like a dog.
There's a crash or two, and Jared's just now realizing that there's no more hits coming and that he's just sitting there, groaning and listening. The overwhelming feeling of tiredness takes over again, and glass stings against his arm as it rains from what he thinks is his window.
Harley and Sadie are practically screaming, barking so loud he swears someone is going to call the cops for public disturbance. He can imagine that irony in that, but then the barks are running away, fading with distance.
“Officer Padalecki, stay with me, man.”
Somewhere in his head he knows the voice, distant and far off in his memories. When he tries to nod a pain shoots through his sore head, and the voice is telling him that it's okay, or something like that.
“Jus' gun slee,” Jared slurs. It doesn't sound anything like what it did in his mind, but it works. A little nap won't hurt. Anything to wake up from this nightmare.
This room is like deja vu. The white lights are shining brightly in Jared's eyes, and the beeping of an irritating machine rings in his ears.
“He's awake,” Jared hears someone whisper.
His body feels heavy, and he knows there's a cast wrapped tightly around his arm. Blurry as his eyes are, he can see the black marks of names across the stark white. There's Bella's name and a few of the officers from the station.
“Hey.” Jared looks up at Jensen, whose voice is comforting to his aching bones.
“Hey yourself, handsome.”
Jared remembers a little. He's not sure what day it is, or even what time it is outside of the fact that it's probably sometime in the late afternoon judging by the setting sun. He can remember going home, running into the couch, and letting out the dogs.
The dogs. “Harley and Sadie?” It's a question that barely needs words, because Jensen knows how much he loves those two.
“They're fine, Jay. How are you?”
Jared goes to shrug, but as he's lifting his shoulder half an inch there's a pain as if he's stretched a rubber band too hard. He smiles anyways, pained but kind. Jensen's there, and that makes the pain seem a lot less worse.
“Do you remember anything?” He's just now realizing the slight twinge of awkward hidden in the layers of Jensen's voice. It's the weirdest thing he's ever heard, so out of place.
Jared closes his eyes for a moment, thinking back to that night. He's back there now, closing the door behind wagging tails running into the night. Then he's showering, the warm water pressing against his skin, and then he's back in his room. The barking is clear as day and Jared turns his head against the pillow as he does so in his mind, and... Edward.
The hits are violent, cutting into his skin and he can still here the crack of bones that he now knows must've been his arm. There was so much anger in those eyes, mixed like paint with a thick hunger.
Edward's graceful even as he raises his fist again and again, but then Jared remembers the sound of something, or someone, else. He can't see anymore behind his swollen eyes, but he can picture a look of surprise spread across Edward's pretty face.
Jared can hear the voice again, the reassurance, but he doesn't know who it was. Trying to place it is like putting a puzzle together when you're missing the last piece. A throb rises in Jared's forehead, and he opens his eyes back to the day, and Jensen's glancing down at him with... love.
It's the most terrifying and amazing thing Jared's ever seen. Somehow through all the pain and anger nestled deep in his body, none of that matters. Not when Jensen's there, dragging him into the warmness behind those age old eyes.
He reaches his free hand out, and Jensen holds it, wrapping their fingers together in a mix of fire and ice.
“Who saved me?”
“Embry Call. He told the nurse that you're even now.”
It takes Jared a minute to process. He can remember the kid, or man, big and a werewolf. It explains the sounds, and he can't help but smile, because yeah, Embry did owe him one for not pressing charges.
“Is Edward okay?” Jared asks, his smile falling as he speaks.
Jensen seems confused by the question. Jared shouldn't be worrying about his dogs, or his house, or Edward of all people. He's laying in a bed, doped up on a pile of painkillers, and being the selfless bastard that Jensen grew to love.
“This is all my fault.” Jensen's continuing on before Jared even has a chance to shake his head in protest. “I shouldn't have left you. Damn it, Jay, I should've known this was going to happen.”
The grip Jensen has on Jared tightens, their fingers pressing tighter. “Edward... he doesn't understand how a vampire can love. He's been withdrawing lately, and I know it's no excuse, but... I think he was mad at me for being able to love you so easily.”
Jared can understand that, and as much as what happened isn't okay, they're okay. He's not sure of how he'll feel around Edward, or if there ever will be an 'around' anyone from Jensen's family. When that time comes, days or years from now, they'll deal with it together. Like their fingers, their hearts are pressed together in a way that can't seem to meet words.
Jared knows Jensen's heart hasn't beat in a long time. There's no sound or movement, and still Jensen's more alive than anyone Jared's ever known. Maybe it doesn't take a heart to love, because Jared knows, heart or not, Jensen loves him just as much as Jared loves Jensen.
Rating : NC-17
Pairing : Jensen/Jared and canon Twilight couples.
Word Count : 17.5kish. (Posted in two parts.) *Not including Always a Cowboy and Epilogue of sorts.
Summary : When police officer Jared Padalecki moved to the small town of Forks he never expected to meet someone like Dr. Jensen Cullen. As it turns out, he's in for a hell of a surprise... or two.
Notes : For spnchallenges. A J2 take on the movie/book Twilight. This part has not been grammar beta'd. I apologize if it annoys you, but hopefully my grammar isn't too bad. (Grammar being commas.)
Disclaimer : Don't own. Even a bit.
Jared was never an overly religious person, but he swore that right then, at that very moment, God hated him. The amount of time he had spent with Jensen amounted to near none and work never seemed to end. It had been two days since he’d learned Jensen’s secret and the questions never seemed to stop screaming in his mind.
Each morning he would wake up and question the words, question whether or not Jensen was really a vampire. The answer was always the same; he was telling the truth. All of the urban legends pointed to death and blood surrounding the vampire society and Jared knew he should be terrified, shitting himself at the mere sight of Jensen and his family. Instead his eyes would brush across the curve of Jensen’s stone cold body, crawl over the skin and picture it bare.
The phone rang, loud and piercing in his mind. Jared had forgotten he was at work, a pile of papers spewed out before him like Charlie had thrown up in the form of paper work. In reality, that’s just what it was. It was a mess of this and that and all the left over reports that the other officers decided to pass off to the new guy, despite him being there for over four months now.
An officer just slightly older than him came to the desk, eyes mirroring something along the lines of pity. “This one’s yours, Padalecki. Sorry man,” he said.
Jared was used to it by now, the jobs that no one else wanted. Just yesterday he’d been sent to the residence of a sweet old lady, bitter about what he had been told was ‘missing property’. The missing property turned out to be an older cat, named Stevie after the woman’s late husband. She had described the cat as small and precious, her child almost. The inside of her house was unlike he’d ever seen, walls covered in pictures of that damned cat displayed like a mother would display her child’s scribbled artwork.
After two and a half hours of searching Jared found Stevie, cold and quiet beneath a crook in the porch. Breaking the news to the older lady was like clawing out her eyes. She cried on his shoulder, wrinkled fingers gripping tightly onto him as if he was her life support. Any other officer would’ve found it funny, ridiculous even, but instead he found it heart breaking.
Jared was certain that no case, no matter how weird, could top that. “What’s up?” Jared asked the officer who was still standing there, patient and calm.
“There was a fight down on LaPush, couple boys got into it bad.”
The ride down to the reservation was quiet. It was a peaceful day, the wind steady and the sun peeking through the clouds with a distinct shyness. The air got thicker as he drove into the driveway of an older ranch style home, like fingers wrapping around his neck and squeezing the breath from his lungs.
Jared had been told that there was a fight. It was only logical to be expecting two boys with bruises and cuts from a fight that was long over. Instead, he looked towards two people, one more boyish than the other, more muscular man. The smaller one just kept throwing punches and his knuckles were red and coated in blood from cracked skin.
“That’s enough!” Jared shouted, inserting himself between the two.
It was an action that Jared would later regret. Within just moments there were two or three connections to his face and chest from the smaller boy. He reached out and pushed him away, only to receive an aggressive shove that put Alice Cullen to shame. A brick wall didn’t fit the feeling of being pushed down with that amount of force. It took him a few minutes to realize what had happened and by then the larger man was nowhere to be seen.
Jared was bleeding from his nose and mouth and maybe even his forehead, he wasn’t quite sure. There was a pounding pain like the combination of a bad hangover and being hit with a sledgehammer.
He groaned as he got to his feet, dizzy and slightly disoriented. “Back up needed,” he mumbled into the walkie-talkie on his shoulder, the rest of his words lost in the back of his mind.
Charlie arrived within ten minutes, his face filled with shock and something else that probably equaled to ‘oh shit.’ There was another man outside then, too. He was older, around Charlie’s age, and in a wheel chair.
“Billy what the hell happened?” Charlie asked the man who was rolling towards them as they both took in Jared’s painted red face.
“You’ll have to ask Jacob, Charlie. Oh hell, I’m so sorry,” Jared thought maybe Billy was talking to him but he was still a little dazed, thinking about cats and donuts and that awful taste that gnawed at the back of his throat.
The world began to spin and Jared felt himself fighting the urge to close his eyes. Someone must’ve noticed the slightly wobble in his posture and already forming bruise across his bloodied face because the next thing he knew Charlie was at his side, holding him tightly.
“Let’s get you to the hospital, Jared,” Charlie was saying, and just as Jared opened his mouth to protest the taste of blood and breakfast and maybe some of last night’s dinner all rise in his throat.
Jared felt bad, he really did, because he was pretty sure he remembered Charlie talking about how he had just bought need boots a week before. “M’sorry,” Jared mumbled, barely holding himself up anymore.
The ride to the hospital was long and hectic. Charlie kept smacking him to make sure he was awake and he wanted to say something about how hitting his already bruised body probably wouldn’t help too much, but like verbal vomit he found himself dry heaving and gagging on the God-awful taste of blood and bacon.
Charlie was full of concern, Jared knew, but all that showed in his dark expression was that he was pissed. First the shoes, then the dashboard, and he was pretty sure that if he got anywhere near Charlie’s gun that he would have some real shit to worry about.
This time when he leaned his head against the window the chief didn’t bother him, or smack him, or maybe he did and Jared was just too tired to realize. The ride to the hospital was taking a damn long time and he wanted some breath mints bad.
Few more minutes, Jared reminded himself before closing his tired eyes.
Jared’s just a breath away from sleep when they pull into the parking lot. Within those few seconds there’s silence and then there’s yelling, shouting of three or four different people. They sound like they’re screaming in his ear but he can see the blurs through his half lidded eyes. They’re racing around the car, pushing something that looks like a stretcher, white and long.
One of them says his name, kind yet strong in tone, and then there’s arms trying to get him up. Jared’s not overly bulky but his muscle stretches long and wide and after two unsuccessful yanks there’s a moment of peace.
Jared wants to groan, say thank God because he swears that the person was trying to pull his arm out of place. Before he can even finish the thought there’s a coolness surrounding him and then he’s being pulled like a weightless feather from the car and to the waiting stretcher. It takes him just a second, one too many, and then he realizes the curl of the fingers and the sweet smell of vanilla.
“Jen,” he’s pushing out.
“Shh, it’s okay, Jay,” the voice is comforting, soothing to the pounding in his head. Jared thinks of nodding, agreeing, but quickly passes on the idea because even just tilting his head to look at Jensen feels like there’s an ice pick digging into his skull.
The next hour is one of pure torture, a repeated torture because God damnit he hit his head again. There is talk of multiple head injuries and even a whisper of death but Jared just wants to laugh because death doesn’t look so bad when you’re boyfriend’s a vampire.
Boyfriend. Jared calls the nurse back in, asking for whatever test he’d previously declined. The pretty red-headed woman is giving him a look like he’s insane because he’d spent an hour talking his way out of the test and now he’s practically begging for it. “I think the head injury is worse than I thought,” Jared says, thinking to himself that boyfriend has to be a product of his head becoming friends with the ground.
It’s another round of tests, long and tiring, and Jared doesn’t think it can possibly be good for his head. They’ve got him telling them letters like it’s some kind of spelling bee. One of his nurses, a red-headed lady, is nice enough. But Jared swears upon everything holy that if she doesn’t take advantage of the fancy invention called pockets, he’s going to to tape her freezing cold wrinkly hands inside a microwave. When she’s got her hand up his shirt, it’s not like Jensen. In fact it’s more like what a vampire should feel like. Creep and crawly and a natural born ice chest, and Jared makes a note to ask Jensen if there’s any chance that Pamela is a vampire.
Finally when they’ve poked and prodded at every last curve of his body, places that he’s positive have nothing to do with his head, they leave him alone. Jared’s grumpy and mad, his face resembling a twisted puppy dog that got his bone taken away. Jensen apparently had to go play hero to a five year old girl who fell out of a tree. As sweet as hero Jensen is, Jared’s feeling selfish and wishes Jensen had done all the ‘observations’.
The walls of the room are white, boring, and he’s trying to paint them pastel with his eyes when Jensen walks in. It’s like Jensen can read his mind and Jared has to remind himself No that’s Edward. He soon finds out that no matter how hard he tries he can’t make the walls look half as interesting as Jensen’s cold fingers feel against his cheek.
When their eyes meet it’s like Jensen’s not even a doctor anymore. There’s a look of pure worry in Jensen’s eyes despite knowing that Jared is going to be fine. They’re comfortable together, just staring, and Jared can feel the ache in his head dulling down. Jensen’s magical, some kind of miracle, but that’s nothing new.
“What the hell happened, Jared? This must’ve been one big rock,” Jensen’s voice was dripping with the concern shown on his face but held a slight sign of humor. Jared’s surprised that Charlie had not briefed Jensen on what happened, and once again Jensen works his magic when he says, “Charlie had to leave, said he needed to take care of something.”
Jensen doesn’t seem worried that they’re in a public place. He just moves closer to Jared, resting his hands on Jared’s thighs. “There was a fight down in LaPush, just some stupid kids,” Jared’s voice cracks on the word ‘kids’. He can recall the tall stature of the one that had pushed him, the force he had in his arms.
Jensen’s face tightens and he looks about as angry as Jared’s mama was after Jared broke her favorite vase. “LaPush,” The doctor’s voice claws at the word.
“Really it’s not a big deal, Jen. I’m fine,” Jared’s smile is only half convincing, but Jensen doesn’t fight the attempt at a subject change.
“Anyways,” Jensen says as he’s looking through a pile of papers. “Your tests came back fine, but we’re going to have to keep you over night.”
Everything is tense for just a moment before Jared groans and Jensen laughs, a sparkle in his eye. “Oh c’mon, it won’t be so bad. I’m on call tonight,” He winks at Jared like he’s got plans but they both know sex in a hospital bed is not the way to go.
Jensen has to go back to work and it’s an hour later when Jared realizes that his ‘boyfriend’ or whatever isn’t just a vampire, but hell yes he is a doctor with connections. Jared’s got a private room and a freakishly comfortable hospital bed that he wouldn’t mind having sex in.
The images of Jensen playing doctor with him immediately leave when Charlie walks into the room. The chief looks like he has a world of stress on his shoulders. Jared doesn’t think it’s possible to age 10 years in a day, but if it were Charlie would be a prime example. The lines under his eyes are think and his hair is a heavier shade of grey than it was that morning.
“Do you want to press charges?” is the first thing Charlie asks, his eyes on the tiled floor the entire time.
“Press charges?” It’s a silly question, but in all honesty Jared has no idea who the boy was that pushed him.
“His name’s Embry Call,” Charlie’s trying to fill in the blanks, answer question Jared’s eyes must be asking. “Jacob Black and he were fighting, Billy said that Embry’s going through some changes lately,” he pauses, “and I’m not saying it’s an excuse or anything but -“
Jared interrupts him, “Nah. I won’t press charges.”
Charlie looks surprised more than anything, and finally it fades to relief. “Thank you,” his voice is as stressed as his face when he speaks.
Jared gets the impression that Charlie was doing a favor for a friend, and that’s okay. Nothing was broken and he’s sure the chief can take up the shoe issue with this Embry character. For the first time since he’s got here it’s feeling like a real home, like he belongs and is doing something good.
“You’re welcome.”
Jensen comes in just moments after Charlie leaves. He's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and the threshold of the door is like a barrier between that baring and... their peace.
When Jared's around Jensen he can breathe easier. The air in his lungs flows freely, and he's so completely comfortable with the space between them and the emptiness of a room.
And Jensen, well Jensen's not the tense doctor that stitched him up. Jensen's found a comfort with him too and it's like a puzzle interlocking.
Jensen's working carefully around him, looking at papers and running his cool fingers across Jared's swollen scalp. When Jared shudders or breathes in, Jensen steps back and writes on his pad, a note that doesn't quite need words.
“Okay, all done. Listen, Jay,” Jared is used to the nickname, but the way it rolls off Jensen's tongue is so different. “You got to be careful, man. As much as I like seeing you around here, it's not cool that you're using up all my thread.”
They laugh, an easy exchange. And Jared can't help it, the thought passing through his mind. I like seeing you too.
The heat on his cheeks is foreign to him now. He's so used to Jensen and the cold skin, the blanket of ice that would coat him. Before Jensen, he would've appreciated the sun on his face, but now it felt wrong.
Jared wasn't sure why it was the morning or what happened to the night but he vaguely remembered closing his eyes after Charlie left. He was so tired, the events waring down on his body. That didn't matter though, Jared was sure. He refused to complain or ask for something to help soothe the sore ache in his skull because all he wanted to do was to go home and sleep. A nurse had woken him up every three hours to ask him questions that he barely understood and the black under his eyes showed his exhaustion.
There's small vase with flowers next to his bed and Jared figures one of the nurses must've brought it in when he was sleeping. They're pretty, daisies, and Jared can't help but laugh. A small card is tucked in with them and he reaches for it, his arms heavy. The letters are pristine, just like Jensen, and he knows they're from the doctor before he even reads the scroll of a J.
It's sweet, Jared thinks. At first he thought they were just a get well gift, something to cheer on his recovery. Instead, when an older man knocks on the door and introduces him as Dr. Cullen's colleague it all makes sense. The flowers were to say sorry and Jared can't help but snort because they did their job and he's not the least bit angry at Jensen for not being there. Of course he's disappointed, but he'll get over it because Jensen never stays away for long.
The man's less worried about Jared than Jensen was and Jared's glad to hear that he can leave. The paper work takes a while, too long, but finally he's able to walk out the door with flowers in his hand and smell air. It's so under appreciated, he realizes, the smell of the air. The hospital was stale and gross, but out here he can finally just breathe. Jared wonders if Jensen misses it, breathing.
Jensen looks tired when he shows up at Jared's door that night. He knows Jensen can't physically be tired, that his legs don't ache when he's walked too much. It's a different kind of tired but Jared understands it all the same. Jensen still thinks, has a mind, and whatever has been running through it today has left the man mentally wiped.
“I was worried about you,” is all Jensen says. The routine they've developed in a short time stands, and Jared puts his hand out and within a heart beat Jensen's fingers are wrapped around his and they're walking to the bedroom.
“Do you remember what happened?” Jensen asks after they've settled beneath the useless blankets, fully clothed.
“Couple teens got into it. Charlie knows them, though. Said Jacob's been having a rough time.”
“Jacob Black did this to you?” Jensen's voice comes out in a sharp hiss.
Jared's never heard him so angry, it should be scary because he knows how powerful vampires are. He had seen very clearly the result of a determined vampire, and if Jensen's force was anything compared to Edward's, he didn't want to even tip-toe on the line of Jensen's bad side.
“No. God no.” The laugh that Jared lets off seems to ease the tension in the room but it's still there, thick and hanging directly over their heads. “Embry something or another. Real big mother fucker.”
Something clicks in the doctor's head when Jared says Embry's name. Jared's afraid to breathe because he can feel the knife in the air without even seeing it. Jensen finally speaks, his voice painfully sharp, “I could smell him on you. I just didn't know he had turned.”
Jared feels his face twist in confusion and like fragile glass the tension breaks when Jensen bursts out in hounds of laughter. “He's a wolf, Jay,” Jensen says as if it's going to all be clear to Jared with those words and all it does is confusion Jared even more.
“You mean like... werewolf? Full moon-howling-silver bullet issues werewolf? Damn, good thing the county issues good amo.”
Jensen's laughing again like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. “Something like that.”
Jared turns and lifts himself up on his elbow, looking down at his companion. “I - This is just a little bit too weird, but I guess if vampires exist why not wer- Hey wait! I smelled like him? Like a fucking dog? Asshole,” Jared's voice isn't the least bit convincing but the tension and pain is gone. He's pretty sure he'll sleep good tonight, Jensen at his side.
Jared remembers that his mom always used to call him 'special.' It wasn't the gifted kind of special, or the super awesome sparkle-worthy special. It was the kind of special that at least one kid in every class in kindergarten had. He couldn't sit still, always fidgeted like he was nervous or had stolen his dad's secret stash of candy.
It had nothing to do with that though. Jared had only sneaked into his dad's candy stash once and as luck had it, he was caught, twizzler in mouth. The constant movements, playing with his fingers, and doodling swirls that had no meaning other than to just be lines, it was all because he was simply bored. The repetitive school days drove him to the verge of tears. Math first, then science, and it all seemed to blur together after a while.
Adult life was a welcome change to just get out of that stupid strict mold that had been built around him. That was exactly why this should have gotten boring to Jared. This every day going to work, coming home to cook dinner, and wait for Jensen. Still, two weeks, and three weeks in, it was anything but that.
Jensen would lay beside him in bed, hold him and they'd talk lightly until Jared's whispers became snores. Sometimes Jensen would be there in the morning, cooking breakfast that always made Jared weep with joy because the guy knew how to cook a good pancake.
It was that very rhythm that had him sitting on his couch that night, staring at the clock that read clearly 11:30. Jensen was late, and he was never late.
Jared shouldn't have expected a phone call, Jensen didn't really do phones. Despite that he held it firmly in his lap, starring at the small screen like he could will it to read “Jensen Cullen.”
It was 20 after midnight when Jensen finally arrived, Jared still sitting on the couch with the phone in place and worry on his face. “Is everything okay, Jen?” His voice held the nickname with admiration, firm and caring.
“Alice was having some problems, but Jasper's got her now,” Jensen explained as he took off his jacket.
Jared should've understood, he knew Jensen had a family, knew they came first. Instead of common sense he's hit with jealousy and all that built up worry pouring out. “You should've called, Jensen. I was waiting for you.”
They're standing now, face to face. Jared can feel Jensen's intentional breathing on his skin and he wants to yell at him, beg him to stop it because he hates this human side of Jensen and those fucking eyes.
“I can take care of myself.”
“Bull shit.”
Jensen looks shocked at Jared's words, like he's been hit with ice cold water that could freeze even his skin. Lips move, trying to form words, but for the first time in a long time Jensen's speechless and Jared's just standing there, eyes aching and chest pounding with his heavy anger.
“I'm sorry,” Jensen whispers, sincere and honest-to-God or whoever really sorry. He's hurt Jared, and he knows it, and if it was possible it'd be killing him.
The anger drifts from Jared's body, his shoulders easing and his eyes softening like a warm caramel. He steps forward, leaning against Jensen's chest like he needs Jensen for support, and for some reason he refuses to acknowledge, he does.
It's natural for them, the way Jensen's arms curl around Jared and hold him tight. Their look is one of ease and something else, and like bugs to the light their lips are touching, soft and feather-like.
They've done this before, the thing where their tongues touch and their hands explore each other with wonder. It's different somehow, though. Jensen's fingers are still so cold but Jared's only feeling heat.
Jared allows his fingers to travel, grip around the strong curves that are Jensen's perfect ass. One of them is moaning, and then they both are, thick and heavy and grinding hard against each other like this is what they both need to live.
He's being hauled up by strong arms, and his legs wrap around Jensen's waist, tight and he's still moving against that perfectly sculpted body. Jared's hard, his cock dripping with precome by the time Jensen dumps him on the bed.
Sometime between Jensen's pulling at his buttons and zipper and the kisses trailing down his chest he remembers that Jensen wasn't ready, wasn't sure. “Jen. God - Jen stop.”
The look Jensen gives him is questioning but not angry. “What's wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No, fuck no. Just... are you ready?” The question should be the other way around because it's him who is two steps away from getting fucked into the mattress, not Jensen.
“I'll take good care of you, Jay.”
That's all they need before Jensen is sucking at Jared's neck, marking him in the most erotic and ironic way. There's clothes spreading across the floor, forgotten in a messy pile.
Jensen's the most beautiful thing Jared's ever seen. He's got muscles that are carved and chiseled, hair crawling up the center of his lower abdomen and a gorgeous full cock that's uncut and weeping, waiting for Jared's pretty little body to open up.
Jared's putty in Jensen's hands, melting and curving at every move of the cool fingers. And those piercing green eyes are looking at Jared's cock like it's some kind of lollipop but there's no time for that, not now. They're both ready to burst and no dream or quick hand job could amount to the feeling of sheer high when Jensen's fingers begin fucking his hole.
They're both far cries from virgins, but it feels like the first time again. There's that first bit of pain with the arrival of a second long digit, and the sting with the third, but Jared's grinding down against them like a hungry whore.
“Please.” His voice is hot and burning like acid in the air, and he knows Jensen won't even think twice.
Jensen's long, wide, and Jared's got his eyes clutched shut as Jensen pushes his cock deep inside. It's hurting, a good kind of hurt that makes him want more because more means Jensen.
When he gives the okay, a simple nod, it's like a light clicks on in Jensen. The world blurs with the thrusts, and the bed is cracking against the wall. Jensen's moving like some kind of animal, his body going at an inhuman pace, fucking in and out and out and in, and Jared's already screaming because Jensen is so deep, and it's so good.
“God, so fucking tight, baby. So hot,” Jensen is grunting and the bed is banging against the wall faster and harder with each thrust. It's like a climb up mount Everest. Long, tiring, and so fucking worth the pain he's going to be feeling for a few days or possibly weeks after this.
Jensen's coming just as hard as he was thrusting, and Jared's bursting in a hand he didn't know he had wrapped around his cock. They're both spent and done, but moaning still like Jensen got so deep it's going to keep fucking Jared for life.
When Jensen pulls out it's like losing a piece of him, and he feels empty. That feeling is gone when they're wrapped together, and Jared's never been so grateful for the coolness of Jensen's body because he feels like he's going to burst into flames.
“So this is why Alice didn't want me coming over,” Jensen whispers.
Jared wakes up in a pool of sweat and dried come. It shouldn't be so erotic, feeling so completely well-fucked, but it is. Jensen's still at his side, eyes open and just watching Jared with a calm expression that Jared doesn't want to identify.
“Jensen,” His voice is worn like some kind of antique, dry and coarse from the screams the night before.
“Shh,” Jensen's whispering, pushing a cool glass to Jared's lips. Sometimes Jared wonders if maybe Edward's not the only mind reader in the family, because Jensen always just knows.
When Jared tries to move he feels every inch of his body tense. He knows exactly just how deep and hard Jensen went. It's the most amazing and painful thing Jared's ever experienced.
Finally he brings himself to his feet, bare skin hitting the cool air with a slight shock. He smells like sex and man. Jared knows Jensen has a heightened sense of smell and even Jared's nose is crinkling at the smell of his armpits.
He's got his nose crinkled up, his tongue sticking out in a clear sign of yuck. Jared turns to Jensen, then, graceful and slow on his heels. Jared's two breaths from laughing but Jensen looks like he's been hit by a train. It's the first time in a long time Jared realizes exactly how Jensen looks like when he's not breathing. So completely still, as if he were an ice sculpture. Jared knows better than anyone, that that's exactly how Jensen feels too.
“Jen?”
“Look what I did, Jared,” Jensen's voice is barely a pained whisper in the silent room.
When Jared walks to the mirror, he sees it, exactly what Jensen is so fucked up over. There's bruises on Jared's hips, and he can make out each finger on Jensen's hand, carved into his purple skin.
It's kind of beautiful, Jared thinks. The colors are like a perfectly mixed paint, and it looks so pretty against his tanned skin. He could get used to this, these marks that make him totally Jensen's.
“They don't hurt,” he finally speaks, and Jensen makes a noise that sounds like yeah right.
“I'm a big boy, Jensen. You can't break me.” Truth is, Jensen could snap him in two. They both know that, and as scary as it should be, Jared literally trusts Jensen with his life.
“You have to trust me.”
Jensen does, and over the next few days Jared knows it still kills Jensen every time Jared strips bare and the bruises stand fading but still violent on his skin.
They take it slow, learning each curve. Jared's still hurting from Jensen being in him, and no matter how much he begs Jensen won't give him what he wants.
Tonight is a lot like all the other nights this week. Jensen came right from work and they sit and talk. There's care in the simple questions of 'how was your day?' and 'any asses I need to kick?'
Then Jensen takes Jared to the bed, and peels of their clothes so slowly Jared feels like he's going to stop breathing if Jensen's not naked against him soon. They kiss, hard and slow, fast and passionate. It's never exactly the same, always a different level of high.
And it turns out Jensen's lips are good for a lot more than just talking. Jared's developed a sort of kink for spreading his legs and watching Jensen bury himself between them and swallow Jared greedily. Not breathing comes in handy, because Jared can fuck Jensen's mouth to the point where he swears he can feel Jensen from the inside.
They're never restrained, never cautious when it comes to Jared's hips thrusting into Jensen's face. Like everything else with Jensen, it's so completely different, and so fucking good.
Jared doesn't know what happens after he comes, his world always just stills. He's learned all colors of the rainbow in intricate detail. When they flash in his eyes it's as if he's seeing an old friend, blue and black and holy fuck red.
When Jared's done and empty, chest heaving up and down, Jensen licks bruises that he's left, new and old. Some are a light green now, fading into the creamy tone of Jared. He licks all the way to Jared's mouth, and then in and out, and Jared can just taste himself right there.
He's gotten to know Jensen better, that much is obvious. But more than that, he knows himself better. Jensen completes him in a way that is too scary to even acknowledge.
Tonight, as they're lying in bed, tied together, Jensen's tenser than usual. Ever since he showed up his shoulders have been in a knot, and it's worrying to see.
“What's wrong?”
Jensen looks at him, almost with a sad look. “Jared... I need to leave. Tomorrow.”
Jared doesn't know what Jensen means by leave. The word never scared him before, but now he's terrified. Jensen leaving is like walking around without his heart.
“Alice needs to get out of town for a bit. I told her I'd take her hunting with Emmett. It's only for a little bit, I promise.”
It still hurts, even just knowing that this thing they have is going to have to pause for a short time. Jared realizes later that day, after he's kissed Jensen goodbye and dressed in his uniform, that he's being a total girl about this.
Jensen never promised him anything, he never had to. Jared doesn't know what it is that they have, but being like this isn't how he should be. He's so puzzled with the situation, and he knows exactly what he has to do.
So after work when he's in Jensen's ridiculous PJ pants that he left behind, Jared calls his mom. It only takes a ring or two before he hears her voice on the other line, sounding sweet and Jared swears he can just smell the home cooked meal on her hands.
He still talks to her every week, but she knows right away this time his different.
“Mama... I've been - I've been seeing someone,” Jared says, his voice light and nervous. He's not sure that 'seeing' is quite the word but he doesn't know what else he can say.
She makes him pour his heart, her voice like her arms wrapping around him and just holding him in reassurance. It's hours before he hangs up, and the phone bill is going to be really fucking high, but he doesn't care.
Her words echo in his head. So cliché, and he knows it, but for the first time in his life they make sense. Follow your heart. Every way he looks at it, no matter which way he turns, his heart always leads him right back to Jensen.
Jensen leaves the next day. He comes over early in the morning, long before the sun meets the sky. Jared can feel Jensen's cool fingers sliding on his cheek, and then the press of those lips against his forehead. When he opens his eyes, Jensen's already looking into his soul. It's odd. Jared's fully clothed, pants and shirt, and yet he feels completely bare in front of those eyes.
Jensen kisses him once, and Jared's glad that it feels nothing like a goodbye. It's an, I'll see you later. An, I'll miss you. Jared kisses back, saying all the same and words he doesn't even understand.
At work, he's notably upset. So far two senior officers have asked him what was wrong, and even a younger man making a comment towards his sour frown. Jared doesn't smile or laugh like he should, and they instantly know to leave it alone.
Charlie, on the other hand, has never been good at taking hints. “Man, Padalecki. You're acting like they canceled Supernatural or something,” Charlie jibes. As sad as Jared would be if they took his favorite show off the air, it's nothing compared to this. He knows tonight Jensen won't show up, that they won't talk and kiss and love, and that in the morning there won't be a sweet note on his pillow or the smell of cooking pancakes in the kitchen.
He's more attached than a puppy. Jared doesn't even realize how lost he is in his thoughts until Charlie has his hand in front of Jared's eyes and is making bunny ears that look more like a little claw.
“Earth to Padalecki.”
“Yeah, sorry, chief.” Jared's smile is pitiful, barely even resembling okay let alone happy.
“Look, Jared,” Charlie says, his voice taking a more fatherly tone, “Why don't you run an errand for me then head home?”
Jared wants to say no because home has nothing to offer. He'll sit on the couch all day, moping and probably end up calling his mother again. And even with the crazy amount of love he feels for his mother, he feels like a little kid running to his mom to kiss his boo-boo better.
“Okay,” He's saying it before he even realizes words are in his throat.
“Good. Well, I need you to run this,” he holds up a box of what looks like ribbons or some kind of soft fabric, “to the Cullen's.”
When Charlie says the name it's like being hit by a boulder, or two. Jared's already agreed and there's no way out of this one. Jensen wouldn't be there even if he was in town, and Jared's dreading knocking on their door.
The drive to the house is slow. He's going at least ten below the speed limit, whistling to himself to keep his mind off of Oh shit. The house is gorgeous, big and open. It's nothing like what he pictured a vampire would live in, but the surprise is welcome none the less.
And despite his brain telling him not to go and to just leave the box on the front step, his legs have another plan in mind. He's knocking and someones opening the door before he even realizes he'd actually knocked on the Cullen's door when Jensen wasn't home.
Though he's never seen the women before, he knows immediately who she is. She's beautiful and young, her face porcelain and polite. Esme's just as magnificent as the rest of the Cullen's, and she has a look that's so kind it almost kills Jared.
“Come in, Jared,” Her voice is like notes on a piano, and he can't help that he walks through the door. Like everything else around these... people, he has no control over his actions.
“You know who I am.” The shock in Jared's voice is a bit flat. He should know better than to think that he was some kind of secret. Alice knew what her father was doing with Jared that first night, and Edward's seen some pretty explicit thoughts.
“Of course.” She takes the box from Jared and sets it on a nearby table. “Thank you. Alice left these with Bella. Silly girls.”
Jared doesn't know what to say. Luckily, Esme has more than enough on her mind to make up for his awkward silence. “Is he happy?” She asks, and Jared thinks that this family will never cease to amaze him.
“I- I... I think so.” Esme nods at Jared's reply, a sad smile on her pretty face.
“I love him, Jared. I do. But, you see, it's been a long time since he's smiled like this. It's like you've shown him what it's like to live again.” She pauses as she leads them to the living room, sitting down with her arms crossed in his lap. “For the first week he tried to sneak out,” she's laughing at the words, and Jared agrees, with a mind reader and a psychic sneaking out is kind of useless.
“Alice tried to stop him, once. She would've done anything to keep him from you. She should know by now some things are just destined to happen.” Esme can't even look at Jared anymore, but it doesn't offend him even a bit. This is hard for her, and he
can practically feel the hurt in her bones.
“Thank you, Jared.”
Even as he's walking back out of the house and heading home, he can't quite grasp it. Whatever just happened, Jared knows, that in those three words she handed over Jensen's once beating heart.
By the time Jared makes it home the sun is setting, a beautiful hue of violet and orange painted together across the darkening sky. He's tired, his mind rattling through details that probably don't matter.
He had gone to dinner at a small restaurant. It was small and quaint, just like Charlie had said it would be. Apparently this was a hot spot for the locals, and Charlie enjoyed taking Bella here once in a while for a quick bite to eat.
Jared didn't remember tasting the food. The cheeseburger looked delicious, cooked just like his father made them, but even as he chewed the flavors didn't quite hit in his mouth. The fear of what he felt sat deep in his stomach, curling in his gut. This was different than any school boy crush or one night stand. Those were always easy to put a name to, but not this.
His mind is still stuck on finding words as he walks up the walkway to his house. The easing sun is still shining delicately through the window but not nearly enough to keep him from falling over his couch. Just like all his other run-ins with inanimate objects he ends up face first in the floor, groaning out of frustration instead of pain.
Nothing hurts, nothing is broken, and even if his head is bleeding it damn well stop by the time he gets done cursing at the furniture. Luckily when Jared makes his way to the light switch and then the bathroom there's sure enough no blood. Not even his good friend nose bleed came to visit, and it's enough to put a wicked smirk of satisfaction on his face. He may have lost the battles, but he won this damn war.
Jared's still smiling into the mirror when a small sound comes from the living room. It's a slight creak, his floorboards old and original to the house.
“Jensen?” It's the first thing to come to his mind. Despite knowing that
Jensen is far away, eating some poor goat or other furry creature Jared doesn't want to think about.
There's no answer. He checks the rooms, quiet and careful, and there's nothing. Jared's tired and half delirious, pointing angrily at his floors, “I won fair and square. Don't go all revenge is a bitch on me, man.”
The floors don't answer, just like they didn't before, and Jared just laughs at himself for what might be a good ten minutes. “God damn, next I'll start talking to the coffee maker,” he's whispering, Sadie looking at him in agreement that he is in fact a nut job.
Harley's not there though, not curled on the couch like he usually is when Jared gets home from work. The dogs have developed their own keen sense of routine, involving running into the bathroom as soon as Jensen appears. Jared likes to think they're warming up to him, but the funny thing is that Jensen's even warming up to them, and he's even developed a knack for bringing dog treats from God knows where for them.
“Harley?” Jared walks down the hall. His bedroom door is open and Harley's there, growling at the window.
It's an odd sight, and for the dogs sake he looks out the window. It's dark outside, the winds picking up a bit, but otherwise it's oddly quiet.
“C'mon, boy. How about you go out back for a bit, huh? Maybe you'll find a nice squirrel to chase.”
Afterward he takes a shower. It's different not having Jensen there with him. Jensen's always pretty quiet, but despite that this is just too quiet.
When he walks into his bedroom he can hear Harley and Sadie barking outside. Their growls are snapping with their jaws, loud and piercing into the night sky. Jared walks to the window, peeking out and both of them have their hair standing directly up and just keep barking up at his fucking window.
The room shifts, like a whirlwind, and he turns on his heel to face “Edward? What the hell?”
Luckily Jared's dressed. Topless, but wearing his now favorite pair of Jensen's PJ pants.
“It's not enough for you to fuck Jensen but now you have to screw
with Esme too?”
The anger in Edward's voice is unlike anything Jared's ever heard before. There's a deep boiling of fire and Jared swears Edward's eyes are darker than night.
“Edward, you should go home.”
Jared's words fall on deaf ears and Edward takes graceful steps towards him, coming closer until the space between them is barely enough to breathe. Jared can see it now, that golden hunger in Edward's eyes.
“Leave him alone.”
“...No.” Jared doesn't know where the word comes from, but it's direct and pointed.
The moment is short and there's just a second or two between Jared looking down and watching Edward's first close so hard that there's a crunch like cracking bones.
The fist connects with Jared's face, a force so hard he's thrown into the wall behind him and leaves a crack where he hits. Edward doesn't give him a chance to do anything before he stands over Jared and presses the fist down again, this time into his stomach. The pain is intense, ripping through every nerve in his body.
He's not sure how many more throws Edward gets in, or how many more cracks and fucking rips come from his beaten body. Jared's sure his eye is already swollen, puffy and red and the darkness is comforting in the midst of the incredible pain.
Jared barely recognizes the sound of... paws. Paws? Harley and Sadie are still outside, barking even crazier than before, but the movement across the room sounds exactly like a dog.
There's a crash or two, and Jared's just now realizing that there's no more hits coming and that he's just sitting there, groaning and listening. The overwhelming feeling of tiredness takes over again, and glass stings against his arm as it rains from what he thinks is his window.
Harley and Sadie are practically screaming, barking so loud he swears someone is going to call the cops for public disturbance. He can imagine that irony in that, but then the barks are running away, fading with distance.
“Officer Padalecki, stay with me, man.”
Somewhere in his head he knows the voice, distant and far off in his memories. When he tries to nod a pain shoots through his sore head, and the voice is telling him that it's okay, or something like that.
“Jus' gun slee,” Jared slurs. It doesn't sound anything like what it did in his mind, but it works. A little nap won't hurt. Anything to wake up from this nightmare.
This room is like deja vu. The white lights are shining brightly in Jared's eyes, and the beeping of an irritating machine rings in his ears.
“He's awake,” Jared hears someone whisper.
His body feels heavy, and he knows there's a cast wrapped tightly around his arm. Blurry as his eyes are, he can see the black marks of names across the stark white. There's Bella's name and a few of the officers from the station.
“Hey.” Jared looks up at Jensen, whose voice is comforting to his aching bones.
“Hey yourself, handsome.”
Jared remembers a little. He's not sure what day it is, or even what time it is outside of the fact that it's probably sometime in the late afternoon judging by the setting sun. He can remember going home, running into the couch, and letting out the dogs.
The dogs. “Harley and Sadie?” It's a question that barely needs words, because Jensen knows how much he loves those two.
“They're fine, Jay. How are you?”
Jared goes to shrug, but as he's lifting his shoulder half an inch there's a pain as if he's stretched a rubber band too hard. He smiles anyways, pained but kind. Jensen's there, and that makes the pain seem a lot less worse.
“Do you remember anything?” He's just now realizing the slight twinge of awkward hidden in the layers of Jensen's voice. It's the weirdest thing he's ever heard, so out of place.
Jared closes his eyes for a moment, thinking back to that night. He's back there now, closing the door behind wagging tails running into the night. Then he's showering, the warm water pressing against his skin, and then he's back in his room. The barking is clear as day and Jared turns his head against the pillow as he does so in his mind, and... Edward.
The hits are violent, cutting into his skin and he can still here the crack of bones that he now knows must've been his arm. There was so much anger in those eyes, mixed like paint with a thick hunger.
Edward's graceful even as he raises his fist again and again, but then Jared remembers the sound of something, or someone, else. He can't see anymore behind his swollen eyes, but he can picture a look of surprise spread across Edward's pretty face.
Jared can hear the voice again, the reassurance, but he doesn't know who it was. Trying to place it is like putting a puzzle together when you're missing the last piece. A throb rises in Jared's forehead, and he opens his eyes back to the day, and Jensen's glancing down at him with... love.
It's the most terrifying and amazing thing Jared's ever seen. Somehow through all the pain and anger nestled deep in his body, none of that matters. Not when Jensen's there, dragging him into the warmness behind those age old eyes.
He reaches his free hand out, and Jensen holds it, wrapping their fingers together in a mix of fire and ice.
“Who saved me?”
“Embry Call. He told the nurse that you're even now.”
It takes Jared a minute to process. He can remember the kid, or man, big and a werewolf. It explains the sounds, and he can't help but smile, because yeah, Embry did owe him one for not pressing charges.
“Is Edward okay?” Jared asks, his smile falling as he speaks.
Jensen seems confused by the question. Jared shouldn't be worrying about his dogs, or his house, or Edward of all people. He's laying in a bed, doped up on a pile of painkillers, and being the selfless bastard that Jensen grew to love.
“This is all my fault.” Jensen's continuing on before Jared even has a chance to shake his head in protest. “I shouldn't have left you. Damn it, Jay, I should've known this was going to happen.”
The grip Jensen has on Jared tightens, their fingers pressing tighter. “Edward... he doesn't understand how a vampire can love. He's been withdrawing lately, and I know it's no excuse, but... I think he was mad at me for being able to love you so easily.”
Jared can understand that, and as much as what happened isn't okay, they're okay. He's not sure of how he'll feel around Edward, or if there ever will be an 'around' anyone from Jensen's family. When that time comes, days or years from now, they'll deal with it together. Like their fingers, their hearts are pressed together in a way that can't seem to meet words.
Jared knows Jensen's heart hasn't beat in a long time. There's no sound or movement, and still Jensen's more alive than anyone Jared's ever known. Maybe it doesn't take a heart to love, because Jared knows, heart or not, Jensen loves him just as much as Jared loves Jensen.