People I'd Like to Tazer
We've all met these kinds of people. The guy that always has to make the snide remark about the smallest sentence fragment. It doesn't matter what we're talking about, because half of the time this guy doesn't know either. I might be discussing something and he'll catch part of the conversation and jump in with some snarky or "clever" remark which has nothing to do with the conversation. I don't know whether or not he's trying to be cute or clever, but he's succeeding at nothing. Well, succeeding at me wanting to choke him until his eyeballs pop out of his head.
The most prevelent times these dorks will speak up is when you use an exaggeration to make a point. For example, say you're talking about the weather and you mention that it's colder than a witch's tits in a brass bra. Suddenly! loser out of left field pipe up letting everybody in the room know that brass bras aren't that common. Or asks how I would know how cold that would be. It's at those particular moments I would like nothing more than to give him a jolt of 100,000 volts to his testicles.
A second example would be me having a discussion about some personal economic problem. Maybe I'm going to be late on the rent or can't scrounge up enough coin to get a pack of smokes. This guy walks by and hears a clip of it and informs me that I'm not broke as long as I have two kidneys. Yeah, thanks jackass. I'd like to break him by ripping out one of his kidneys. For added measure, I'd like to curb kick him while he's moaning on the ground.
In closing, if you don't have anything to add to a conversation, keep your mouth shut.