(no subject)
Title: History
Rating: R... hard R
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Pairings: 2U, yunjae, past!horella
Warnings: sex
Summary: Yoochun is dating Yunho but he can't help but be suspicious about his boyfriend's relationship with their fellow bandmate, Jaejoong.
prologue chapter 1 chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14
Chapter 15 - Talk to Me
Yunho sensed that there was something off with Yoochun right away. One didn't care for someone and date them for over a year without becoming in tune with their moods and there was a definite rain cloud over his boyfriend's head. Yoochun was still joking around with Changmin and Junsu if they came around him but while they worked he was more quiet than usual. When he asked Yoochun gave the usual comment about being tired, and the manager didn't seem to mind because it wasn't effecting his work at all. And soon the others were finishing up with work and Yunho was the only one having to stay behind that evening.
“Don't wait up for me for dinner,” Yunho said as the others collected their things together into their bag.
“Don't worry, we won't,” was Changmin's serious reply and thus Yunho was left alone.
He had a lot of work to do and he would be left behind in Korea as the other 4 went to Japan after their recording the next day. Because of that Yunho felt a bit of regret for not being able to eat dinner with them that evening. Yoochun's foul mood just compounded the feeling.
Yunho sighed looking down at his paper work. He'd just have to hope that his boyfriend would be feeling better soon.
-^-^-^-^-^
Upon returning home that evening Yunho went straight to his and Yoochun's shared room, only to find that the other wasn't in there. With a sigh, Yunho threw his bag to the floor and slumped into the desk chair, eying the way Yoochun's suitcase was laying open in the middle of the floor, half filled with clothing. Yunho knew he would also have to make time to pack despite his busy schedule.
He slid to the ground and began stuffing away some of Yoochun's articles that were on the floor when Yoochun entered, fresh from the shower with a towel around his waist.
“Hey,” Yunho greeted, glancing up and smiling slightly as he folded away a pair of jeans. “Are you feeling better?”
Yoochun shrugged noncommittally and threw his towel off and stepped into a pair of clean boxers. After putting on a shirt, Yoochun came and kneeled on the floor as well taking an article of his clothing from Yunho's hands. Yunho only proceeded to pick up another shirt and began folding it. They worked in silence as they packed the bag,
Yoochun tried his best not to look at Yunho. The events of the day were fresh in his mind and whenever he saw Yunho's face he just thought of the kiss between him and Jaejoong. Yoochun knew Heechul was right and he would have to bring it up but he just felt so utterly distressed.
“Don't you have your own bags to pack?” Yoochun asked, stuffing the shirt away.
Yunho nodded, “Yeah but I'm leaving after you all. I have time to pack.”
He handed Yoochun another shirt and the other took it and placed into his suitcase.
“You know if there is something bothering you you can just talk to me, right?” Yunho asked.
“Yeah, yeah,” Yoochun said dismissively, waving his hand and not even looking Yunho's way.
Yunho pouted and crawled over to Yoochun's side, slinging an arm around the other man's shoulder, and slipping his other arm over his stomach.
“Aww, come on. You can't expect me to just let it rest when my Micky is obviously bothered by something.”
“How can you even say that with a straight face?” Yoochun replied, stopping folding his shirt and meeting Yunho's eyes.
Yunho chuckled and played with the hairs against the back of Yoochun's neck.
“Because, despite my appearances I am a hopelessly romantic man. You should know that by now.”
Yoochun trembled as Yunho buried his face into his neck. There was so much tenderness in the other's actions but how could he know it was real? Did he hold Jaejoong with the same amount of care. Yoochun felt like he could collapse within himself in that moment when a knock came to the door and Yunho pulled away.
“Yeah?”
“It's me. We need to talk. It's urgent,” came their manager's voice through the door.
Yunho sighed and stood up, “Ok, Ok. I'm coming.”
Yunho went out the room, shutting the door behind him, and leaving Yoochun alone with his pile of stuff. Yoochun's body sagged as he buried his face in the shirt he held in his hands, letting a frustrated cry get muffled into the fabric.
Part of him wished Yunho would just confess his crimes so that Yoochun wouldn't have to call him out on his lie, while the other part just wanted to forget about it and pretend it never happened. But if he did, wouldn't Yunho continue seeing Jaejoong behind his back? And what of Jaejoong? The other male was one of his best friends but wasn't it he who got in between their relationship? In the end it was always about Yunho and Jaejoong. Somewhere deep in his subconscious it was like he knew that this day would come where he'd have to give up the one he loved because it wasn't his rightful place to be beside Yunho.
But that wasn't what Yoochun wanted. He wasn't willing to just give up Yunho to Jaejoong and mourn his loss. It made him angry to think he didn't even have a chance to begin with.
The door opened, and Yoochun tensed, thinking Yunho was back only to see Jaejoong standing in the doorway.
“Hey, wanna watch a movie with us? We rented a DVD,” Jaejoong said.
“I'm packing,” Yoochun replied curtly, turning his back on him.
“You can pack after,” Jaejoong replied, stepping into the room and looking over the items sprawled out on the floor. “Are you really bringing that monkey shirt to Japan?”
“I'm thinking about it,” Yoochun replied, picking said shirt up and examining the strange monkey print.
“Are you sure about the movie?”
“I'm not in the mood.”
“But you'd like it--”
Yoochun threw the monkey shirt down into the suitcase and whipped his head towards Jaejoong, “Can't you just fuck off! I said I'm not in the mood.”
“Hey no need to yell!” Jaejoong replied, brows furrowed.
“Well obviously you can't understand when I speak in a normal voice!” Yoochun replied.
“What's gotten into you?” Jaejoong asked, expression softening. “You've been out of it all day.”
“Don't even act like you care,” Yoochun replied.
“But I do care because you're my friend.”
“What does that even mean? You and Yunho are the same. You both come in here claiming you care about me. That I'm obviously in a bad mood. You're my friend and he's my boyfriend so you care about me, right?”
“Yes.”
“You two don't even know what the word friend means!”
“Wait... what!?” exclaimed Jaejoong. “Yoochunnie, what are you even talking about? Where is all of this coming from?”
Yoochun slammed his half packed suitcase shut and stood up, making to leave the room, and pushing past Jaejoong.
“Where are you going?” Jaejoong asked as he followed Yoochun in the hall.
“Someplace I know you'll leave me the fuck alone,” Yoochun replied, going down the hall.
“Seriously? I'm just trying to help!” Jaejoong replied.
“Well don't!”
They made it down the hall to where their studio was and Yoochun opened the door.
“Yoochunnie, really,” Jaejoong said, reaching out to grab his friend's arm. “Tell me what's wrong. I'm really worried.”
Yoochun's look when Jaejoong grabbed his arm must have been quite powerful because Jaejoong let go right away.
“Please... Tell me...” Jaejoong all but whispered.
“Remember what you said to me before? You said don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.”
Jaejoong's eyes widened and Yoochun disappeared into the studio with a loud slam of the door.
-^-^-^-^-^
Yoochun cried. Played the piano. And then cried some more. About an hour later Yunho peeked in but Yoochun pretended not to notice him and to his relief-or disappointment, he really couldn't tell which- left without speaking to him. Yoochun was absolutely miserable. Suspecting that Yunho was cheating on him was one thing, but to know and see it with his own eyes was another. Yoochun knew he couldn't keep quiet about it. He knew he'd never get rest with it heavy on his heart. But if the conversation didn't turn out in his favor would he be able to rest knowing that Yunho was never his?
It was with those heavy thoughts that Yoochun tore himself away from the keyboard and dragged himself back to his room. As he exited he saw that the entire house was quiet, the living devoid of any life, the other member's movie having long been over. The only light in the place was a pale blue slither from beneath Jaejoong and Changmin's door, indicating that the maknae was still up playing computer games.
Yoochun felt his way down the hall and entered his room. Upon seeing the lump of Yunho's form in the bed, his sad heart grew even heavier. He chanced a glance at his own lonely and empty bed, pondering where he should sleep that night, but the decision was made for him as he heard Yunho shuffling in the darkness.
“Micky?” Yunho's voice called out.
Yoochun walked over to Yunho's bed and flopped down into the empty space Yunho made for him. As soon as he laid down Yunho's arm and the blanket wrapped around him.
“Write any new songs?” Yunho asked, his soft voice brushing against Yoochun's ear.
Yoochun turned onto his side so his back was facing Yunho.
“Nothing came to me,” he replied.
“I heard from Junsu that you got into a fight with Jaejoong,” Yunho said.
“He wouldn't leave me alone,” snorted Yoochun. “But I wouldn't call it a fight. He's being too sensitive.”
Yunho chuckled, “So what's really on your mind?”
Yoochun turned around so that he was facing Yunho, who had his head propped up on his hand.
“I was thinking...” Yoochun began, his heart beginning to beat faster from nerves.
“Yes?”
“About you and Heechul...”
Yoochun heard a sigh issue from Yunho's mouth but he didn't let it deter him.
“Why didn't it work? And not just the cheating thing but... like, why didn't you two work it out?”
“Is that what you've been so depressed thinking about?” Yunho asked.
Yoochun didn't answer so Yunho replied to the original question.
“Heechul didn't want to,” Yunho replied, simply.
“And if he did?” Yoochun asked. “Would you have stayed with him?”
“Of course at that time I would have... he was my first after all. I was a bit naïve too, I think,” answered Yunho, reaching out the brush some of Yoochun's hair from his yes.
“And if Heechul hyung took you back... would you have kept cheating on him with Jaejoong?”
Yunho's fingers stopped its ministrations and his hand dropped down to the space in between them on the bed.
“What?” Yunho asked.
Yoochun could hear the confusion in his voice and he reached forward and ran his finger tips across the back of Yunho's hand in front of him.
“Would you have continued cheating?” Yoochun asked again, voice level despite the frantic beating of his heart. His eyes became trained on Yunho's hand in the darkness, unable to meet his boyfriend's gaze.
Yunho turned his hand over, tangling his fingers with Yoochun's.
“Honestly speaking...” he began.
Yoochun nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. Yunho's body shifted uncomfortably in its spot.
“Yes.”
It came as a whisper and Yoochun closed his eyes against the confession, holding his breath and suppressing a sigh.
“Why?” Yoochun asked, when he trusted himself to speak.
“Because I was a weak man,” Yunho said.
“Was?”
“I didn't know what I wanted. I would have anyone who'd have me,” Yunho said, and Yoochun could hear the slight tremble in that normally confident voice.
“And now?”
“I don't need anyone else. I have you.”
Yoochun looked back down at their hands, tangled fingers visible in the moon light. He squeezed it lightly and when Yunho squeezed back it felt like it was directly on his heart.
“Then... then have you cheated on me?”
“Yoochun...”
“Well?” Yoochun asked.
It felt like a minute of silence before Yunho finally moved his free hand to gently stroke Yoochun's hair.
“When you asked me what is the most important aspect of a relationship... what did I say?”
“Commitment.”
“Right. Yoochun... I am fully committed to you. I promised you... I would never ever hurt you.”
“Yunho...” Yoochun shut his eyes against the words.
Yunho's hand tangled into his hair and he felt himself being brought closer and then their lips touched. Yoochun moaned in protest but Yunho worked to try to deepen the kiss. Yoochun reluctantly kissed back, his heart feeling like it was about to burst.
Diversion. It was just like the beginning again. Every single question he asked about Jaejoong was waved away like smoke in the air. It was all a diversion. Yunho would never answer any of his important questions and Yoochun could no longer shut himself to the blatant lie.
Yunho's hand slid down Yoochun's cheek, and that was when the elder male finally broke the kiss, now aware of the wet tears his boyfriend was shedding.
“Are you crying?” Yunho asked, shock evident in his voice.
Yoochun sniffed and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. But this time he wasn't sad for himself. He felt angry at himself for being so utterly stupid. He was duped and now he was the fool. It was then that Yunho squeezed his hand and he remembered that they were still attached. He yanked his hand away and sat up abruptly, swinging his legs off of the bed.
“Don't you fucking touch me!” Yoochun growled.
“Micky...,” Yunho sat up too and reached forward but Yoochun grabbed his wrist before pushing his hand away.
“I said don't touch me! What gives you the right to think you can comfort me?... why can't you ever be straightforward with me?”
“Huh?”
Yoochun turned to face Yunho again, holding a leg under him and fixing a glare on his face.
“Quit trying to play dumb! Why did you even bother making a promise you knew you couldn't keep? No, how DARE you play with my heart like this and fucking lie in my face after I gave you so many opportunities to tell me the truth! Well it's over. You don't have to pretend like you give a shit anymore Yunho because I saw you with my own two eyes!”
Yoochun turned and got out the bed, crossing the room quickly and throwing himself onto his own seldom used bed. Immediately Yunho was at his side, and he felt the press of Yunho's fingers against his shoulders. Yoochun sat up and got out of the bed.
“Micky let me explain,” Yunho said.
“I don't need you to explain anything! It's obvious you wanted to fuck him since day one then so be it. Fuck him!”
“Didn't you listen to a word I just said. I want you!”
“Your words mean shit! I saw you with my own two eyes today!”
“That...” Yunho froze in his tracks.
“Yes... that,” Yoochun growled. “Is it finally clicking in your brain for you? I saw everything.”
“Micky just calm down... just calm down and let's just talk,” Yunho said.
“I gave you so many chances to talk!”
“I don't want to lose you!”
“You should have thought that before you cheated. You aren't sorry for anything are you? If I didn't say anything where would we be right now? You'd still be lying through your teeth buttering me up with your stupid pretty words.”
Yoochun kicked open his suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans and hurriedly put them on.
“Where are you going?” Yunho asked.
“Out!” Yoochun opened their bedroom door and didn't even bother acknowledging the sleepy heads poking out of each of the other rooms, curious about the ruckus.
“You...” Yunho followed him into the living room as Yoochun pulled on his coat. “You can't go. Micky just listen to me really. I can explain.”
“Nothing you say can help you right now,” Yoochun replied, buttoning up.
“Really... don't do this! Don't walk out that door! Just come back into the room we... we... we can...” Yunho reached for Yoochun again but that was when the other finally lost it.
“BACK OFF!” Yoochun exploded, stepping forward and raising his fist in a way that had Yunho lose his footing and stumbling backward.
“Right now I can't even look at your fucking face without wanting to punch it. You think this is all about you? No. These tears aren't for you. I'm a man too and I have my pride. I'm not one to be treated lightly. You said you choose me and yet you throw it all in my face. Well fuck you! Your groveling means shit!
I have been nothing but kind to you! I have been nothing but loyal but I've just been a fool this entire time! Why do you even bother playing with me? I dare you to fucking tell me you love me! I fucking dare you!”
“I... I...” Yunho stuttered.
“Save your fucking breath!”
And with those words Yoochun was out the front door with a slam.
-to be continued
an- this took forever. i had a really hard time with this chapter and making yoochun react. plus since i am swamped with work it sucks creative juices out of me xD... and now it's 4:30am oh gawd