(no subject)
Title: History
Rating: R... hard R
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Pairings: 2U, yunjae, past!horella
Warnings: sex
Summary: Yoochun is dating Yunho but he can't help but be suspicious about his boyfriend's relationship with their fellow bandmate, Jaejoong.
prologue chapter 1 chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12
Chapter 13- Circle
When he was sure Jaejoong was sleeping, Changmin crept out of bed to go to the kitchen. He really did try to get to sleep as well but he was really thirsty. So silently he went out, softly shutting the door behind him, and trekked to the kitchen.
However, before he made it he spotted a figure moving in the living room. He stopped and saw it was Yunho. He couldn't help but feel sympathetic that his leader had apparently woken up after working so hard. And now Yunho seemed to be struggling with his boyfriend on the couch.
“Come on, Babe,” he was saying. “You'll regret sleeping here in the morning.”
He pulled Yoochun by the arm and slung it over his shoulder, while also bringing his own to the sleeping male's waist. Yoochun didn't seem to respond, only collapsing further into Yunho's side wordlessly. Changmin watched for a few seconds, debating if he should help the leader or go get his drink before stepping forward into the living room.
“Hyung,” Changmin called, getting Yunho's attention.
Yunho looked up and smiled sleepily at the youngest member.
“What are you doing up? Midnight snack?” Yunho asked as Yoochun slid down his body.
“No, I already ate. I just wanted a drink.”
Yunho seemed to not even hear him as he pulled at Yoochun's arms.
“How is he even going to work in the morning?” Changmin asked, looking at his other hyung now crumbled on the floor. “You should just leave him there. Jaejoong hyung and I worked hard to get him on the couch so we wouldn't have to wake you up, you know.”
Yunho chuckled and crouched down, pushing some of Yoochun's hair from his eyes in a tender action before finally deciding to scoop the other up bridal style with a grunt.
“Ugh, he's put on weight,” Yunho joked.
Changmin led the way to Yunho and Yoochun's room and held the door open for the leader as he struggled with Yoochun's dead weight, lingering by the door as he watched Yunho place Yoochun under the blankets.
“Yunhooo,” he heard Yoochun finally moan, and saw as pale arms wrapped around Yunho's waist.
“Shh, go to bed,” Yunho said, pulling Yoochun's arms away from him. “You're going to regret this in the morning.”
He pulled away from a protesting Yoochun and went back towards Changmin, signaling out of the room and closing the door behind them.
“Didn't you want a drink?”
Changmin nodded and followed Yunho back to the kitchen where the leader pulled out two cups and filled them with water.
“Did we wake you up?” Changmin asked.
“No, I actually had to use the bathroom and noticed him there,” Yunho said as he set the cup down.
“Are you mad?”
“Maybe a little,” Yunho said. “But they'll repay the consequences of their actions for sure tomorrow morning. I will not be letting them get out of it.”
“You're evil,” Changmin giggled before taking a drink from his cup. He watched as Yunho drank from over the rim of his cup for a bit. Yunho looked innocent enough drinking from his cup, eyes cleared of sleep after carrying his boyfriend to their bed in a seeminly loving manner. But Changmin found himself observing his members more lately and he found more questions popping in his head as a result of it. He decided now would be a good time as ever to pick his leader's brain just a little.
“...I wonder what's wrong with Jaejoong hyung.” Changmin said with a sigh as he set the cup down on the table.
“What?” Yunho asked.
“I'm surprised you haven't noticed. I guess it's because I room with him but he's been acting kind of off the past few days and he won't talk to me about it. I'm... I'm...”
Yunho nodded and patted Changmin's shoulder to show that he understood. Changmin wasn't the most personable person around but there was no mistaken the fact that the maknae cared for the members in his own way. He didn't like seeing any of his hyungs down and despite the fact he and Jaejoong fought almost all of the time, Yunho understood their dynamic was unique to them and showed how much they cared. Changmin was worried and he wanted to make sure his hyung was ok.
“I'll try to see if I can help him,” Yunho replied, before taking both their empty cups and placing it in the sink.
Changmin nodded, and then bit his lip a bit as if debating if he should say anything else.
Yunho rinsed the cups in silence and finally Changmin began again.
“Hyung, have you ever been in love?”
Yunho chuckled and turned off the faucet. “Well, I'm dating Yoochun.”
Changmin shook his head, “You didn't answer my question.”
“Yes I did. I'm dating Yoochun so... so the answer is yes.”
“That doesn't mean anything, hyung and you know it.”
“What are you going on about?” Yunho asked, turning so that he was now leaning his behind against the sink.
“You dated Heechul but you didn't love him.”
Yunho tensed a bit, face showing a bit of surprise, “How did you--”
“Kangin told us.”
Yunho's mouth opened and then closed, lost as to what to say.
“I'm not trying to put you on the spot. I'm just saying I think I kind of know what's wrong with Jaejoong hyung.”
“And what's that?”
“I think he's in love.”
Yunho didn't say anything to that so Changmin took that as a sign to continue.
“I think he's had his heart broken. I recognize the signs... I've seen them before,” Changmin said. He didn't bother to add that he had seen them previously when Yunho and Yoochun announced their relationship.
“What am I supposed to do about it?” Yunho asked. “I am not a love counselor.”
“I don't know...,” Changmin admitted, and as he noticed Yunho already beginning to walk away he started to follow. “But... Yunho hyung...”
Changmin rounded in front of Yunho at that moment, eyes narrowing in the low light, “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?” Yunho asked.
“You cheated on Heechul,” Changmin said.
Yunho made a sound of protest but Changmin interrupted.
“That's how Jaejoong hyung broke his heart the first time. Right?”
“What does that have to do with now?” Yunho asked.
“I just want to make sure. Just ease my fears,” Changmin said, looking at Yunho with big doe eyes. “It's not you right?”
“What?”
“The one Jaejoong hyung is in love with now. The one he's upset about... it's not you right?”
“Changmin...”
“I just want to know! “ Changmin retorted, voice just a bit louder. He just wanted to be sure this wasn't happening between his hyungs. “Just tell me for sure, are you cheating on Yoochun or not?”
Yunho swallowed and looked into Changmin's eyes, shaking his head, throat dry despite the water he had just drank.
“No,” he said.
“No?” Changmin asked.
Yunho shook his head, “I'm sorry but I do not know... who it is Jaejoong is upset about.”
Changmin just stood there staring at Yunho.
“We're just friends,” Yunho reemphasized.
Silence lapsed and Yunho didn't know what to do. He knew he could just walk around Changmin and away but he was rooted to the spot, the weight of his guilt anchoring his feet to the kitchen floor. But Changmin seemed content with his answer and sighed in relief, a slight smile gracing his features.
“I'm so relieved,” Changmin said. “I was so scared... I'm sorry I ever suspected but... I wonder who it is. Who is Jaejoong hyung in love with?”
Yunho shrugged, feeling an added weight to his heart despite the relief he should feel. “I don't know but... if he hasn't told us he probably doesn't want us to know. Let's go to bed.”
--------
The next day Yoochun and Jaejoong were as hung over as Yunho expected and as he promised Yoochun that morning he wasn't going to protect them from the consequences of it. Because of it the two members had to suffer through the staff meeting, and Yoochun's occasional whining that Yunho didn't love him anymore.
“Of course I love you, but I'm not magical. I can't protect you from your own carelessness,” Yunho chuckled as he sorted through some papers during one of their 5 minute breaks.
Yoochun groaned and laid his head in Yunho's lap.
“I feel so sick...”
“Poor baby, but you're an adult,” Yunho chuckled, not even looking up from his paperwork.
“Stop over exaggerating. You're making my headache worse,” Jaejoong scoffed from where he sat on the other side of Yoochun. He kicked Yoochun's rolling chair, sending the other to the floor.
Junsu and Changmin started laughing as Yoochun picked himself off the floor and Yunho too couldn't help but join in.
After the meeting they had dance practice which went by fine considering Yoochun and Jaejoong's hangover and then another fitting of the outfits from the other day. They were led to a dressing room where they each had to wait their turn. The first to go in was Junsu and Yoochun, leaving the other members in the waiting area. Changmin fell asleep rather quickly but Yunho wasn't surprised what with the other staying up late with him the previous night.
Yunho frowned as he remembered the conversation they had. Changmin had become suspicious about he and Jaejoong's relationship but thankfully he was able to convince Changmin that he had been mistaken. He and Jaejoong hadn't been intimate in the past week and he didn't plan to be involved with the other man on that level anymore.
“What are you frowning about?” Jaejoong asked, coming around and kneeing Yunho in the back roughly but it didn't hurt.
“Nothing, just thinking,” Yunho replied.
“About what?” pried Jaejoong, grabbing Yunho's hands and pulling his arms so as to stretch him, while pressing his knee into his back.
“What are you doing?” Yunho asked as he was pushed forward.
“I saw it on TV,” Jaejoong explained. “Does it feel good?”
Yunho gave a non-committal hum and Jaejoong pulled on his arms harder.
“What were you thinking of?” Jaejoong asked again.
“It was nothing important,” assured Yunho but Jaejoong just came closer, pressing his chest to Yunho's back and his face to his neck, causing Yunho to stiffen.
“You can tell me,” he said, in a whisper and Yunho immediately jumped up from his seat and picked up his clipboard.
“What?” Jaejoong asked.
Yunho sent a glance to Changmin's napping form then over at Jaejoong again, “Stop it. We're not doing this.”
“What? I wasn't even doing anything.”
“You know what you were doing,” Yunho gritted. “So stop.”
It was then that the door opened and Yoochun and Junsu came out wearing their new outfits. Yoochun immediately ran to Yunho's side seeking praise from the leader and Junsu followed as well, looking like a 5 year old child. Right away Yunho's attention was turned away from him and he began doting on Yoochun.
Jaejoong sucked his teeth and flopped down on the couch beside Changmin, watching as Yoochun and Yunho flirted shamelessly as Junsu egged them on. Each and everyday he had to live like this and he didn't know how long he could take it. Was Yunho really being serious this time about ending it between them?
“He doesn't love you...” Heechul's words from the other night echoes in his brain as he watched the pair. Jaejoong's heart clenched painfully as Yoochun, in his new princely outfit bent down to kiss Yunho's hand. Yunho pretended to swoon and Yoochun caught him, pressing a soft kiss to Yunho's lips and Junsu squeaked in laughter beside them.
The loneliness that he knew so well creeped within him along with the familiar rage.
“You cope by what?... Dragging them both into your despair?” Heechul's words continued to taunt him, but what did he know. Heechul wasn't there. He didn't live his life.
“If Kim Jaejoong can't be happy neither can he... neither can anyone else...”
“He doesn't love you...”
“He doesn't...”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Jaejoong yelled, jumping up and startling everyone in the room.
Yunho and Yoochun, as well as Junsu and a now waking Changmin turned to look at Jaejoong.
“Just shut... Just shut up ok!” Jaejoong said. “Just... Just...”
“Jae...” Yoochun began.
“Hyung,” Changmin too.
Jaejoong clenched his eyes before turning and running out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Yoochun stared after his friend and then back to his boyfriend but Yunho seemed to have an unreadable expression on his face.
“We have to get him,” Changmin said, sitting up.
“We have to get fitted, Changmin,” Yunho said, taking his eyes away from the door and pulling Changmin up to his feet.
“But Jaejoong hyung...” Changmin said, worry clear in his voice.
Yoochun bit his lip as he watched his boyfriend, no leader right now, ignore their mutual friend and mate who was clearly upset. Yoochun couldn't just leave it like that.
“It won't be productive if everyone's on edge,” he said.
Yunho hesitated. It was obvious that the leader knew Yoochun was right but the 3 could tell that the leader wasn't keen one chasing the other this time.
“Hyung, you and Changmin can get fitted. I'll find him,” Junsu offered.
Yunho also hesitated that accepting that suggestion as well. It seemed reasonable enough as well but Yunho also knew that if Jaejoong was sensitive enough he could tell Junsu or whoever found him information Yunho would prefer no one ever knew.
“Yunho, Jaejoong,” the coordinator stuck her head out. “We're ready for your fitting.... Oh, where's Jaejoong?”
“Bathroom,” Yoochun replied, without missing a beat. “You can start--”
“I'll get him,” Yunho said, suddenly taking off out the door.
“--without him,” Yoochun finished, looking towards the door.
“Well, guess I'm next then,” Changmin said, walking into the dressing room.
“Tell Yunho that he and Jaejoong can come right in when they come back,” the coordinator told the remaining two as she closed the door.
Yoochun and Junsu nodded and once the door was closed Yoochun turned to Junsu.
“I hope Jaejoong hyung is ok,” Junsu said.
“Me too,” Yoochun said.
The pair of friends sat down on the couch, the original excitement of their new outfits drained away. After few minutes of twiddling their thumbs however Yoochun decided to stand up. He couldn't take it anymore. He was worried sick about Jaejoong and had to make sure his friend was ok.
“I'm going to see if they're ok. Maybe Yunho didn't even find him,” Yoochun said.
Junsu nodded and stood as well.
“I'll come too,” Junsu chirped happily.
“Ok!” Yoochun agreed, not even thinking of the fact that if the other two returned no one would be there to relay the stylist's message to them.
The Yoosu pair went wandering the halls in search of the pair, even checking the break room and bathrooms. They were then on the floor with the studios and decided to split up to make the search easier.
“If you see them just holler,” Yoochun beamed, before heading down one end of the hallway.
As Yoochun walked he suddenly became overwhelmed by an intense sense of deja vu. Something about it all brought him back to his pre-debut days and his walking slowed as he reached the training room from his memories. The source of said memories didn't reach him until he found himself at the doorway of the same exact studio once again witnessing a scene he should have never seen.
There was no mistaken the intimacy of it, the way Jaejoong's arms were clinging to Yunho's shoulders as if it meant his very life. The way Yunho's hands clutched so tightly at Jaejoong that his knuckles had gone white. The way that the tears streaked down his eldest hyung's face as he was kissed, yes kissed so thoroughly by his very own boyfriend.
And this time Yoochun didn't have the will power to leave on his own. He didn't know how long he stood there watching the pair. The two were lost in each other against the back drop of familiar white clouds. He didn't know how long he stood there before he felt someone behind him gasp and then the soft press of their warm hands pulling him by the arms down the hall.
To be continued...
AN - sorry for long wait. i moved to new apartment, started a new job, and went to SS4
Rating: R... hard R
Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst
Pairings: 2U, yunjae, past!horella
Warnings: sex
Summary: Yoochun is dating Yunho but he can't help but be suspicious about his boyfriend's relationship with their fellow bandmate, Jaejoong.
prologue chapter 1 chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12
Chapter 13- Circle
When he was sure Jaejoong was sleeping, Changmin crept out of bed to go to the kitchen. He really did try to get to sleep as well but he was really thirsty. So silently he went out, softly shutting the door behind him, and trekked to the kitchen.
However, before he made it he spotted a figure moving in the living room. He stopped and saw it was Yunho. He couldn't help but feel sympathetic that his leader had apparently woken up after working so hard. And now Yunho seemed to be struggling with his boyfriend on the couch.
“Come on, Babe,” he was saying. “You'll regret sleeping here in the morning.”
He pulled Yoochun by the arm and slung it over his shoulder, while also bringing his own to the sleeping male's waist. Yoochun didn't seem to respond, only collapsing further into Yunho's side wordlessly. Changmin watched for a few seconds, debating if he should help the leader or go get his drink before stepping forward into the living room.
“Hyung,” Changmin called, getting Yunho's attention.
Yunho looked up and smiled sleepily at the youngest member.
“What are you doing up? Midnight snack?” Yunho asked as Yoochun slid down his body.
“No, I already ate. I just wanted a drink.”
Yunho seemed to not even hear him as he pulled at Yoochun's arms.
“How is he even going to work in the morning?” Changmin asked, looking at his other hyung now crumbled on the floor. “You should just leave him there. Jaejoong hyung and I worked hard to get him on the couch so we wouldn't have to wake you up, you know.”
Yunho chuckled and crouched down, pushing some of Yoochun's hair from his eyes in a tender action before finally deciding to scoop the other up bridal style with a grunt.
“Ugh, he's put on weight,” Yunho joked.
Changmin led the way to Yunho and Yoochun's room and held the door open for the leader as he struggled with Yoochun's dead weight, lingering by the door as he watched Yunho place Yoochun under the blankets.
“Yunhooo,” he heard Yoochun finally moan, and saw as pale arms wrapped around Yunho's waist.
“Shh, go to bed,” Yunho said, pulling Yoochun's arms away from him. “You're going to regret this in the morning.”
He pulled away from a protesting Yoochun and went back towards Changmin, signaling out of the room and closing the door behind them.
“Didn't you want a drink?”
Changmin nodded and followed Yunho back to the kitchen where the leader pulled out two cups and filled them with water.
“Did we wake you up?” Changmin asked.
“No, I actually had to use the bathroom and noticed him there,” Yunho said as he set the cup down.
“Are you mad?”
“Maybe a little,” Yunho said. “But they'll repay the consequences of their actions for sure tomorrow morning. I will not be letting them get out of it.”
“You're evil,” Changmin giggled before taking a drink from his cup. He watched as Yunho drank from over the rim of his cup for a bit. Yunho looked innocent enough drinking from his cup, eyes cleared of sleep after carrying his boyfriend to their bed in a seeminly loving manner. But Changmin found himself observing his members more lately and he found more questions popping in his head as a result of it. He decided now would be a good time as ever to pick his leader's brain just a little.
“...I wonder what's wrong with Jaejoong hyung.” Changmin said with a sigh as he set the cup down on the table.
“What?” Yunho asked.
“I'm surprised you haven't noticed. I guess it's because I room with him but he's been acting kind of off the past few days and he won't talk to me about it. I'm... I'm...”
Yunho nodded and patted Changmin's shoulder to show that he understood. Changmin wasn't the most personable person around but there was no mistaken the fact that the maknae cared for the members in his own way. He didn't like seeing any of his hyungs down and despite the fact he and Jaejoong fought almost all of the time, Yunho understood their dynamic was unique to them and showed how much they cared. Changmin was worried and he wanted to make sure his hyung was ok.
“I'll try to see if I can help him,” Yunho replied, before taking both their empty cups and placing it in the sink.
Changmin nodded, and then bit his lip a bit as if debating if he should say anything else.
Yunho rinsed the cups in silence and finally Changmin began again.
“Hyung, have you ever been in love?”
Yunho chuckled and turned off the faucet. “Well, I'm dating Yoochun.”
Changmin shook his head, “You didn't answer my question.”
“Yes I did. I'm dating Yoochun so... so the answer is yes.”
“That doesn't mean anything, hyung and you know it.”
“What are you going on about?” Yunho asked, turning so that he was now leaning his behind against the sink.
“You dated Heechul but you didn't love him.”
Yunho tensed a bit, face showing a bit of surprise, “How did you--”
“Kangin told us.”
Yunho's mouth opened and then closed, lost as to what to say.
“I'm not trying to put you on the spot. I'm just saying I think I kind of know what's wrong with Jaejoong hyung.”
“And what's that?”
“I think he's in love.”
Yunho didn't say anything to that so Changmin took that as a sign to continue.
“I think he's had his heart broken. I recognize the signs... I've seen them before,” Changmin said. He didn't bother to add that he had seen them previously when Yunho and Yoochun announced their relationship.
“What am I supposed to do about it?” Yunho asked. “I am not a love counselor.”
“I don't know...,” Changmin admitted, and as he noticed Yunho already beginning to walk away he started to follow. “But... Yunho hyung...”
Changmin rounded in front of Yunho at that moment, eyes narrowing in the low light, “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?” Yunho asked.
“You cheated on Heechul,” Changmin said.
Yunho made a sound of protest but Changmin interrupted.
“That's how Jaejoong hyung broke his heart the first time. Right?”
“What does that have to do with now?” Yunho asked.
“I just want to make sure. Just ease my fears,” Changmin said, looking at Yunho with big doe eyes. “It's not you right?”
“What?”
“The one Jaejoong hyung is in love with now. The one he's upset about... it's not you right?”
“Changmin...”
“I just want to know! “ Changmin retorted, voice just a bit louder. He just wanted to be sure this wasn't happening between his hyungs. “Just tell me for sure, are you cheating on Yoochun or not?”
Yunho swallowed and looked into Changmin's eyes, shaking his head, throat dry despite the water he had just drank.
“No,” he said.
“No?” Changmin asked.
Yunho shook his head, “I'm sorry but I do not know... who it is Jaejoong is upset about.”
Changmin just stood there staring at Yunho.
“We're just friends,” Yunho reemphasized.
Silence lapsed and Yunho didn't know what to do. He knew he could just walk around Changmin and away but he was rooted to the spot, the weight of his guilt anchoring his feet to the kitchen floor. But Changmin seemed content with his answer and sighed in relief, a slight smile gracing his features.
“I'm so relieved,” Changmin said. “I was so scared... I'm sorry I ever suspected but... I wonder who it is. Who is Jaejoong hyung in love with?”
Yunho shrugged, feeling an added weight to his heart despite the relief he should feel. “I don't know but... if he hasn't told us he probably doesn't want us to know. Let's go to bed.”
--------
The next day Yoochun and Jaejoong were as hung over as Yunho expected and as he promised Yoochun that morning he wasn't going to protect them from the consequences of it. Because of it the two members had to suffer through the staff meeting, and Yoochun's occasional whining that Yunho didn't love him anymore.
“Of course I love you, but I'm not magical. I can't protect you from your own carelessness,” Yunho chuckled as he sorted through some papers during one of their 5 minute breaks.
Yoochun groaned and laid his head in Yunho's lap.
“I feel so sick...”
“Poor baby, but you're an adult,” Yunho chuckled, not even looking up from his paperwork.
“Stop over exaggerating. You're making my headache worse,” Jaejoong scoffed from where he sat on the other side of Yoochun. He kicked Yoochun's rolling chair, sending the other to the floor.
Junsu and Changmin started laughing as Yoochun picked himself off the floor and Yunho too couldn't help but join in.
After the meeting they had dance practice which went by fine considering Yoochun and Jaejoong's hangover and then another fitting of the outfits from the other day. They were led to a dressing room where they each had to wait their turn. The first to go in was Junsu and Yoochun, leaving the other members in the waiting area. Changmin fell asleep rather quickly but Yunho wasn't surprised what with the other staying up late with him the previous night.
Yunho frowned as he remembered the conversation they had. Changmin had become suspicious about he and Jaejoong's relationship but thankfully he was able to convince Changmin that he had been mistaken. He and Jaejoong hadn't been intimate in the past week and he didn't plan to be involved with the other man on that level anymore.
“What are you frowning about?” Jaejoong asked, coming around and kneeing Yunho in the back roughly but it didn't hurt.
“Nothing, just thinking,” Yunho replied.
“About what?” pried Jaejoong, grabbing Yunho's hands and pulling his arms so as to stretch him, while pressing his knee into his back.
“What are you doing?” Yunho asked as he was pushed forward.
“I saw it on TV,” Jaejoong explained. “Does it feel good?”
Yunho gave a non-committal hum and Jaejoong pulled on his arms harder.
“What were you thinking of?” Jaejoong asked again.
“It was nothing important,” assured Yunho but Jaejoong just came closer, pressing his chest to Yunho's back and his face to his neck, causing Yunho to stiffen.
“You can tell me,” he said, in a whisper and Yunho immediately jumped up from his seat and picked up his clipboard.
“What?” Jaejoong asked.
Yunho sent a glance to Changmin's napping form then over at Jaejoong again, “Stop it. We're not doing this.”
“What? I wasn't even doing anything.”
“You know what you were doing,” Yunho gritted. “So stop.”
It was then that the door opened and Yoochun and Junsu came out wearing their new outfits. Yoochun immediately ran to Yunho's side seeking praise from the leader and Junsu followed as well, looking like a 5 year old child. Right away Yunho's attention was turned away from him and he began doting on Yoochun.
Jaejoong sucked his teeth and flopped down on the couch beside Changmin, watching as Yoochun and Yunho flirted shamelessly as Junsu egged them on. Each and everyday he had to live like this and he didn't know how long he could take it. Was Yunho really being serious this time about ending it between them?
“He doesn't love you...” Heechul's words from the other night echoes in his brain as he watched the pair. Jaejoong's heart clenched painfully as Yoochun, in his new princely outfit bent down to kiss Yunho's hand. Yunho pretended to swoon and Yoochun caught him, pressing a soft kiss to Yunho's lips and Junsu squeaked in laughter beside them.
The loneliness that he knew so well creeped within him along with the familiar rage.
“You cope by what?... Dragging them both into your despair?” Heechul's words continued to taunt him, but what did he know. Heechul wasn't there. He didn't live his life.
“If Kim Jaejoong can't be happy neither can he... neither can anyone else...”
“He doesn't love you...”
“He doesn't...”
“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Jaejoong yelled, jumping up and startling everyone in the room.
Yunho and Yoochun, as well as Junsu and a now waking Changmin turned to look at Jaejoong.
“Just shut... Just shut up ok!” Jaejoong said. “Just... Just...”
“Jae...” Yoochun began.
“Hyung,” Changmin too.
Jaejoong clenched his eyes before turning and running out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Yoochun stared after his friend and then back to his boyfriend but Yunho seemed to have an unreadable expression on his face.
“We have to get him,” Changmin said, sitting up.
“We have to get fitted, Changmin,” Yunho said, taking his eyes away from the door and pulling Changmin up to his feet.
“But Jaejoong hyung...” Changmin said, worry clear in his voice.
Yoochun bit his lip as he watched his boyfriend, no leader right now, ignore their mutual friend and mate who was clearly upset. Yoochun couldn't just leave it like that.
“It won't be productive if everyone's on edge,” he said.
Yunho hesitated. It was obvious that the leader knew Yoochun was right but the 3 could tell that the leader wasn't keen one chasing the other this time.
“Hyung, you and Changmin can get fitted. I'll find him,” Junsu offered.
Yunho also hesitated that accepting that suggestion as well. It seemed reasonable enough as well but Yunho also knew that if Jaejoong was sensitive enough he could tell Junsu or whoever found him information Yunho would prefer no one ever knew.
“Yunho, Jaejoong,” the coordinator stuck her head out. “We're ready for your fitting.... Oh, where's Jaejoong?”
“Bathroom,” Yoochun replied, without missing a beat. “You can start--”
“I'll get him,” Yunho said, suddenly taking off out the door.
“--without him,” Yoochun finished, looking towards the door.
“Well, guess I'm next then,” Changmin said, walking into the dressing room.
“Tell Yunho that he and Jaejoong can come right in when they come back,” the coordinator told the remaining two as she closed the door.
Yoochun and Junsu nodded and once the door was closed Yoochun turned to Junsu.
“I hope Jaejoong hyung is ok,” Junsu said.
“Me too,” Yoochun said.
The pair of friends sat down on the couch, the original excitement of their new outfits drained away. After few minutes of twiddling their thumbs however Yoochun decided to stand up. He couldn't take it anymore. He was worried sick about Jaejoong and had to make sure his friend was ok.
“I'm going to see if they're ok. Maybe Yunho didn't even find him,” Yoochun said.
Junsu nodded and stood as well.
“I'll come too,” Junsu chirped happily.
“Ok!” Yoochun agreed, not even thinking of the fact that if the other two returned no one would be there to relay the stylist's message to them.
The Yoosu pair went wandering the halls in search of the pair, even checking the break room and bathrooms. They were then on the floor with the studios and decided to split up to make the search easier.
“If you see them just holler,” Yoochun beamed, before heading down one end of the hallway.
As Yoochun walked he suddenly became overwhelmed by an intense sense of deja vu. Something about it all brought him back to his pre-debut days and his walking slowed as he reached the training room from his memories. The source of said memories didn't reach him until he found himself at the doorway of the same exact studio once again witnessing a scene he should have never seen.
There was no mistaken the intimacy of it, the way Jaejoong's arms were clinging to Yunho's shoulders as if it meant his very life. The way Yunho's hands clutched so tightly at Jaejoong that his knuckles had gone white. The way that the tears streaked down his eldest hyung's face as he was kissed, yes kissed so thoroughly by his very own boyfriend.
And this time Yoochun didn't have the will power to leave on his own. He didn't know how long he stood there watching the pair. The two were lost in each other against the back drop of familiar white clouds. He didn't know how long he stood there before he felt someone behind him gasp and then the soft press of their warm hands pulling him by the arms down the hall.
To be continued...
AN - sorry for long wait. i moved to new apartment, started a new job, and went to SS4