Doomsday Scenario: Lost Bout
I am working on being realistic, so I will attempt to be as realistic as I know how for this report.
The worst thing that would happen to me if I lost a bout in practice is... other than the stuff that goes on in my head about embarassment and failure? Not much, actually. I can imagine people would point and laugh, or, heaven help me, point and snark, but that's not being realistic, so I don't get to include it here. Worst thing: People will know how bad I am. And, actually, people pretty much know the level I play at anyway (Level 1: Just Beginning, Be Nice), and, in general, people don't really care what level I'm at as long as I don't get a swelled head, so I guess that doesn't count as a worst thing. Hm. Worst thing. Worst thing. Nope. Actually, when I really thought about it, it's kind of a good thing to loose bouts in practices, because then I can ask the other person what they did to beat me and I can get better, or at least gather knowledge that will enable me to get better once I'm ready to apply it.
The worst thing that would happen to me if I lost a bout at a tournament would be... um. People making fun of me? Except you guys really don't do that. Grrr. Um. I would guess that the sense of failure would be the worst thing, except that I'm working on that, so that it won't actually be a bad thing once I get there. Having twenty people come up and try to explain to me what I did wrong? No, no, I actually find value in that, even if it is a little frustrating not picking something up right away the first time someone explains it - having Trystan, Mateo, Javier, Meesh, Alana, and Miguel point stuff out at the practice over Halloween weekend actually gave me a lot to think about.
The worst thing about losing a bout during the Princess's sleeve tournament? Not going on to the next round and fighting some more. Although, if I really get that gung-ho, I'm sure someone would be willing to go a couple of passes with me later, or in a different location, or something. And, again, I can pester whoever killed me and try to get information out of them.
The worst thing about winning a bout during practice is... um. Well. I don't know. However, speaking from the sidelines, I think when you win consistently, you slow down (if not stop!) all the growing and learning and getting better, and people start expecting things out of you, and people start focusing on you as the guy to kill, instead of as the guy to play with. I mean, you're demontrating competence, and people like to measure themselves against other people, so people want to kill you just to say they've killed you.
So my goal, I guess, is to lose as many bouts as I can. Which is wrong. I missed something, didn't I? Maybe I didn't. I mean, other than an overwhelming desire to win (which messes with my head and I'd like to get rid of it), I'm here to learn. If losing = learning, and winning = demonstrating competence, which I think I just proved, then I'm actually here to lose.
You know, the more I really think about it, the more I remember comments everybody I respect has said about fighting on the field. Hell, I remember stuff that I've thought. It's disappointing when the people you're rooting for don't win, but it's far more disappointing when they play a bad game. I've never really heard people say, "So-and-so sucked today. Man, what a loser. Couldn't even win one bout! Completely lacking in skill, personality, and ability to be a good person." Mostly, the worst I've heard is, "His/her head was not in the game today" and "He/she thinks s/he's the shit. I'm glad so-and-so took him down a peg" and "Watch out for so-and-so, he doesn't take blows, etc., etc., etc." So, apparently, if I'm worried about keeping your respect (and I am. Oh, boy, am I am) all I have to do is not think I'm the shit and play a clean game. Right? Right?!
I'm exhausted. This thinking was twisty and I'd like to go be illogical and down on myself now. I can't, but dude, my brain hurts and I just want to say, "Everybody will think I'm stupid and no one will like me and I'll be socially outcast forever." Deep breath. Sigh. Thanks for the mental exercise. I'll work on it some more later. I'm pretty sure I copped out on one or two answers, but I couldn't help it- logical thinking about failure makes my brain cramp.
The worst thing that would happen to me if I lost a bout in practice is... other than the stuff that goes on in my head about embarassment and failure? Not much, actually. I can imagine people would point and laugh, or, heaven help me, point and snark, but that's not being realistic, so I don't get to include it here. Worst thing: People will know how bad I am. And, actually, people pretty much know the level I play at anyway (Level 1: Just Beginning, Be Nice), and, in general, people don't really care what level I'm at as long as I don't get a swelled head, so I guess that doesn't count as a worst thing. Hm. Worst thing. Worst thing. Nope. Actually, when I really thought about it, it's kind of a good thing to loose bouts in practices, because then I can ask the other person what they did to beat me and I can get better, or at least gather knowledge that will enable me to get better once I'm ready to apply it.
The worst thing that would happen to me if I lost a bout at a tournament would be... um. People making fun of me? Except you guys really don't do that. Grrr. Um. I would guess that the sense of failure would be the worst thing, except that I'm working on that, so that it won't actually be a bad thing once I get there. Having twenty people come up and try to explain to me what I did wrong? No, no, I actually find value in that, even if it is a little frustrating not picking something up right away the first time someone explains it - having Trystan, Mateo, Javier, Meesh, Alana, and Miguel point stuff out at the practice over Halloween weekend actually gave me a lot to think about.
The worst thing about losing a bout during the Princess's sleeve tournament? Not going on to the next round and fighting some more. Although, if I really get that gung-ho, I'm sure someone would be willing to go a couple of passes with me later, or in a different location, or something. And, again, I can pester whoever killed me and try to get information out of them.
The worst thing about winning a bout during practice is... um. Well. I don't know. However, speaking from the sidelines, I think when you win consistently, you slow down (if not stop!) all the growing and learning and getting better, and people start expecting things out of you, and people start focusing on you as the guy to kill, instead of as the guy to play with. I mean, you're demontrating competence, and people like to measure themselves against other people, so people want to kill you just to say they've killed you.
So my goal, I guess, is to lose as many bouts as I can. Which is wrong. I missed something, didn't I? Maybe I didn't. I mean, other than an overwhelming desire to win (which messes with my head and I'd like to get rid of it), I'm here to learn. If losing = learning, and winning = demonstrating competence, which I think I just proved, then I'm actually here to lose.
You know, the more I really think about it, the more I remember comments everybody I respect has said about fighting on the field. Hell, I remember stuff that I've thought. It's disappointing when the people you're rooting for don't win, but it's far more disappointing when they play a bad game. I've never really heard people say, "So-and-so sucked today. Man, what a loser. Couldn't even win one bout! Completely lacking in skill, personality, and ability to be a good person." Mostly, the worst I've heard is, "His/her head was not in the game today" and "He/she thinks s/he's the shit. I'm glad so-and-so took him down a peg" and "Watch out for so-and-so, he doesn't take blows, etc., etc., etc." So, apparently, if I'm worried about keeping your respect (and I am. Oh, boy, am I am) all I have to do is not think I'm the shit and play a clean game. Right? Right?!
I'm exhausted. This thinking was twisty and I'd like to go be illogical and down on myself now. I can't, but dude, my brain hurts and I just want to say, "Everybody will think I'm stupid and no one will like me and I'll be socially outcast forever." Deep breath. Sigh. Thanks for the mental exercise. I'll work on it some more later. I'm pretty sure I copped out on one or two answers, but I couldn't help it- logical thinking about failure makes my brain cramp.