EPISODE 03: WAIT, UTHER HAS A WARD?
It's rainy, but not violently so for once, so I managed to sleep in all day on accident. Damn you, cold, quiet, overcast day. I had to run around and apologize to everyone I had afternoon plans with because I didn't wake up UNTIL FIVE THIRTY, HOLY SHIT. And even then, I only woke up because my roommate came back and asked me why I was sleeping AT FIVE THIRTY, HOLY SHIT.
So, here's the recap. I made it up last night, but then I wanted to get to bed early, so I didn't add the caps to it. Then, I managed to SLEEP FOR FIFTEEN FREAKING HOURS. HOLY SHIT.
So yeah.
Feel free to pilfer caps. And observe as I try not to turn this in to a total Katie picspam.... xD
EPISODE 03: WAIT, UTHER HAS A WARD?
aka., I thought they named the dog floating hypnoboobs Morgana
Hello Camelot!
Gwen, working the overtime again. It's actually becoming less and less noteworthy now that it keeps happening, except now we can blame it on her stalking Arthur and hoping to run into him while she "fetches blankets because Morgan might be cold".
Because we all know that when Morgana get's cold, she's liable to start burning things in her chambers.
Gwen, don’t be all surprised Morgana can lit a candle. She had to toughen up and learn those kind of skills while you were off smooching with Arthur for a week.
I actually really like the opening with the fire. I wonder if Hundith had similar problems with Merlin. More importantly: I like Katie's golden eyes.
I’m going to try not to wonder why they waited until morning to at least begin the investigation. Doesn’t look like the kinda fire to take five hours to put out to me, but who knows. Maybe Arthur looks so bored because he had to run in here last night and conclude it was lightening. He desperately doesn't want to have to conclude any more than that in a day. It's tiring.
Arthur: I trust Gwen.
Gwen: Tee-hee-hee, he likes me.
Merlin: This is not awkward.
Uther: [out of shot] ♪ "Magic magic magic~!" ♪
Uther: What could have caused this?
Arthur: Well, my vote's on lightening.
Uther: This is not a democracy. You have no vote. It was Magic.
Arthur: But it was raining.
Uther: But magic actually makes a lot more sense.
Arthur: [mumble] Well, I bet Gaius could convince you it was lightening. [mumble]
Uther: I heard that.
Gwen and Merlin: [feeling awkward]
Uther: I want you to arrest a bunch of people.
Arthur: "That’s going to take time...”
Uther: WTF DID YOU SAY, BOI?
Seriously, you can't blame Uther for snapping at Arthur over this. Since when did you care how much time shit took, Arthur? What else were you planning on doing with your afternoon? Stomping around making googly eyes at Gwen?
I mean, Arthur's not even reacting in a way that's like "that will take time away from finding the real arsonist." No, he's just unhappy it's going to suck minutes out of his day.
Of course. it's always incredibly possible he's just setting up Uther's next line very obviously.... Or he really just don't give a fuck about anyone threatening Morgana. Or, he's still bitter about Uther shooting down his cool, science-y lightening explanation.
Merlin does a lot of peering through things into other things this season. He's taken after Gaius's sneaky voyeuristic ways. Next step: Get on backrub terms with everyone. Then, you yourself can be well on your way to smooth sneaky raep court physician status.
Morgana: You’re the only one who knows about my dreams
Uncle Gaius: Let me touch you.
Morgana: I caused the fire.
Uncle Gaius: There, there, let me touch you all better.
Morgana: It’s magic.
Uncle Gaius: No, not magic. Just think of it that you’ve simply gotten too hot and sexy for candles to withstand.
Morgana: I’m not a child!
Uncle Gaius: Hm. I’ll have to test that. Science and all….
Lol, is this what Gaius says to all his one-night stands: “Last night was an accident. It had nothing to do with you. How could it have? I am going to draw you up a fresh remedy that will make you feel better, I promise.” OH THE BRUSH-OFF.
Back to our regularly scheduled program: Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly: Camelot Detectives:
Magical Merlz: I was helping clear up Morgana’s chambers earlier.
Gaius Batman McFly: Hm?
Magical Merlz: The window was blown out into the courtyard below.
Gaius Batman McFly: Hm. Interesting note, Robin.
Magical Merlz: That’s odd, isn’t it? If lighting had struck the window like Arthur said, [DOING HIS BEST GAIUS VOICE IMPRESSION THIS HALF OF THE LINE, NOT EVEN KIDDING] you’d think the glass would’ve fallen inside of the window.
I do love how he mentions his bff's hypothesis. Even if he's just mentioning to shoot it down. No-one one has any faith in any of Arthur's brains.
Merlin!Colin, how so gorgeous? And why is the lighting almost always on your left side exclusively?
As we can see, Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly: Camelot Detectives starts up again at four and a half minutes in. Still not as quick as episode one of series two, but pretty damn good. This week is much more dramatic. It’s full of secrets and moral disagreements between Magical Merlz and his believed, venerable old mentor Det. McFly. Gaius knows form his “days on the force” that you can’t intercede at will to these personal magic cases, and that the only time he ever, ever made and exception was for Magical Merlz.
Arthur, just because you aren't getting ass doesn't mean you have to dial in on everyone else in the castle who may or may not be having better luck than you are. I'm sure Arthur has been a hoot at training this week.... I imagine it's gone something like this:
Arthur: Sorry, Sir Kevin, did that elbow thrust get you in the eye? Oh well, go sit it out a bit. I'm sure your wife will forgive the bruising.
Sir Kevin: What has my wife got to do with my training injuries?
Arthur: Oh. Well I imagine she's the one that takes care of you afterward. You know. Put a compress on the wound at night. Listens to you lie about how much it doesn't hurt. Talks you down then they lying go too far and you're hiding your little winches of pain because you don't want her to needlessly worry. Then she tells you how strong and brave you are to be a knight and defend your fair kingdom. Laughs when you tell her it was the clout Arthur's fault...
Sir Kevin: My lord...
Arthur: ...Then makes you a delicious chicken dinner and feeds it to you. Comforts you with her body. Comforts you a lot with her body. Which is sort of incredibly ridiculous because it's only a black eye. It's not like you've been stabbed with a jousting lance by an assassin or anything. It's not like you even deserve her nightly affections at all really.
[long awkward pause]
Sir Kevin: ...You're not getting any are you, my lord?
Arthur: And you won't either. I'm putting you on night shift. Right now. For a week.
Sir Kevin: My eye!
Arthur: Shut the fuck up about your damn eye and take it. For Camelot!
No point to these caps. I just feel I need to cap Gwen as much as possible this episode. For posterity. So I actually remember that she was in it.
GWEN FACE! Finally, I've got one!
Morgana: You’ve already done so much, Gwen.
Gwen: Just one snuggle, milady?
Morgana: I couldn't make you. And you’ve already pulled so much overtime.
Gwen: But we don’t have to count this.
Morgana: No. I’m fine. I’m sure of it. I’m planning to keep the girls under wraps most of this episode anyway.
Gwen: Yes, milady….
To be fair, they were some pretty fug flowers in my opinion. But it was the thought that counted, Morgana. No need to blow them up....
Merlin...is it's Katie's fault that the lighting department is trying to hard to hollow out your face with shadows and make you look like freaking Rhys-Meyers half this episode?
The slash dragon! Makes unhappy faces! Because he knows how this ends. However, I like to think he’s sad how little lulzy Arthur/Merlin interaction there is in this episode. On top of all that, Morgana is displaying precious little cleavage. Seriously. She’s becoming a nun, not a witch.
Also, I capped the sad face, but it's too hard to see out of motion. So you get more Merlin faces.
AHAHAAAAA. He even cleans chain mail like a woobie emo!Merlin.
Arthur: So like, do you have a list of people I need to arrest?
Knight: Yeah.
Arthur: Fine. God, I have so many better things to do. This is such a waste of time.
Knight: What?
Arthur: I don’t give a fuck about Morgana’s safety. Like, at all.
Knight: Since when?
Arthur: Since I started oogling her maid.
Knight: What’s going to happen to the maid if Morgana is hurt, then?
Arthur: …
Knight: Hm?
Arthur: Goddamit. Hand me the damn list, then. Gotta go arrest me some bitches, then. Speaking of bitches…. Merlin, what’s up with cleaning my armor?
Merlin: Mucking stables is strange and a talking bird isn’t?
That line made me flash back to Pushing Daisies so hard. Merlin would looooove Pushing Daisies. Has a few relevant themes to his own life, I say.
Oh Bradley…you said “so where are my flowers?” a bit too seriously there. If that’s the cut that made the episode, I and sort of desperately curious how the others were. [No, I don't remembered where exactly they say anything in this conversation, so I'm just punctuating the caps randomly with commentary.]
Arthur: Or is she the only one to receive a token of your affections?
Merlin: Yes. Uh--no, no. Uh--what? It’s not a token of anything, affection or otherwise.
Arthur: I see, so why were you trying to hide them from me yesterday?
Merlin: I wasn’t. I mean, I was. I just uh, didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.
OKAY, I HOPE ALL OF THE TIME MERLIN GETS TEASED FOR LIKING SOME GIRL END UP SOUNDING LIKE PUSHING DAISIES DIALOGUE.
Imagine this is Colin Merlin looking at you.
You can thank me later, babes. ;)
Morgana: It’s usually Gwen who has to deal with me like this.
Merlin: [RASPY VOICE OF SEX AND/OR BATMAN IMPRESONATING] I don’t mind. Maybe I could help.
Morgana: I doubt it. You don’t even have mancushions, much less girlcushions.
Merlin: [RASPS ON] You’d be surprised.
Then, he loses his rasp and is just woobie ole Merlz again.
But Katie's still hot.
Well.
Gaius McFly--finally the invite someone with investigatory skills to the crime scene. Of course, this time Gaius has little reason to be late on account of backrubs.
Gaius: This is cherry kool-aide. If you're going to pretend to bring her drugs, don't make me look bad, boy.
Magical Merlz and Det. McFly bond over how they’ve got each other and magic is good and Gaius’s eyebrow is on constant vigilance. However, I don’t see how perpetually drugging Morgana is supposed to work long-term without her eventually blowing her cover by, I dunno, blowing up the castle or something. I mean, clearly her powers are saying “we shall not be managed by pharmaceuticals”. It’s more tha just dreams now. I dunno what Gaius is hoping to suppress. She nearing Merlin-level now.
Wow, Morgana’s put some mileage into those heels. She freaking walked to the Forest of Creepy Synth Noises. Is it right next door to Camelot?
Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly share the inevitable look of “damn, you fucked this up, Merlz”.
WAY TO GO UTHER! He hasn’t put a single thing in his mouth this entire episode so far. He’s probably on a diet now.
Gaius is kinda adorable sleeping. Also, I believe Merlin was only born with magic to compensate his clumsiness....
Yeah, Merlin. Magic users and the people who they’ve coughed on are being hunted down and going to be executed. SO MAKE HUGE MAGICAL FLAME TORCHES TO SCARE THE GUARDS. I dunno, but Uther probably needs to train some guards who don’t run crying at the first sign of magic. Especially since his entire kingdom is set up around this strict anti-magic policy. I mean, wouldn’t you train guards to be less “omfg magic! run!” and more “ohshit, magic--where’s the son of a bitch hiding then?”
So Merlin just likes to blow everything up this season. I see. Typical boy.
Well, at least she knows she has the chance to win the Druids over with some boob action. Nice dress, Morgana. It’s all bright and obvious. The Druids won’t miss you. Nor will anything else….
^^^Anything else just arrived.
Right now she is thinking “WHAT THE FUCK, MERLIN? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”
C'mon, you know were aaaaaall wondering what happened to that broom. We all needed that continuity shot. Dr. Gaius has still got it. All that broom picking up and setting into place action.
Gaius looks so cute in his long sleeved robe. It reminds me everyone being horrified of Buffy "you lied to Giles?", except it like "you ran out on Gaius?"
JESUS, I thought I was joking about Morgana putting some mileage into those heels….
I am Aglain, Guardian of the Scorpions.
Mordred: Now I can take care of you. Like you did me.
Am I the only person terrified of an 11-year-old Creepy Raep Child? Asa is cute and all. Mordred is just creepy hobbit child.
Arthur: There is some confusion as to how that was broken.
He say “broken” so simply. In no way does his tone imply it as blown the fuck up with magic sparklers. or even just forcibly blow up. He make it sound like a few bars are missing. “Yeah, the grate was broken some. Actually, funny thing, it’s sort of broken a lot. As in, completely destroyed.”
Arthur: There is some confusion as to how that was broken. By the looks of these scorch marks….
Uther: There is no confusion. It was magic.
Arthur: Yes, but have we ruled out lightening? See, lighting could have just come in here in the night and by the look of these scorch marks….
Uther: IT WAS MAGIC. Stop talking about lightening. You’re never hanging out with Gaius again.
Uther: Where does the random path I do not know right next to my castle lead, perchance?
Arthur: Forest of Creepy Synth Noises. Caught me a scorpion as big as my forearm down there once. Wasn’t bad eating.
Uther: I have long suspected the Druids were hiding there. Although I had no idea it was so close, or I might have investigated sooner.
Arthur: The trail will lead us straight to them.
Uther: Oh, well that’s convenient. Even better. Might as well invade, then.
Okay, I love the echoing voices scene. I got all excited like a movie.
Uther. Oh, Uther. I weep for all the things you do not know. Adorable Gaius will not be enough to comfort you in your pain when you realize Morgana's a witch.
Poor Arthur, having to invade Druids who didn’t seem to bother him earlier, seeing how he knows almost exactly where to find them.
ALTHOUGH, helloooooo Twilight-hair!
Awww, looks like Arthur brought his comb to the massacre, though. To invade in style is a must.
So Merlin is adorable. At least he can adorably lead Arthur and his men straight to the Druids.
Jesus, Merlin. Arthur can track you like a dog, and you are leading him right to the Druids. Cue a lot of fretting and wibbling on my part, because you know this won’t end well. What with the tone of series two and woobie Merlin. Merlin just needs a whole of a lot more to be a woobie about, right? God….
Morgana: Merlin! Hello!
Merlin: ...Hey. So, you aren't gonna believe how badly I just fucked shit up....
Morgana: Why you here? To congratulate me on finding my true home?
Merlin: About that...
So, Arthur attacks the Druids with lots of dramatic log-jumping-over action. And somehow we're still supposed to see Mordred Baggins as adorable with only a twinge of creepy, and not the other way around. And The nice Druid man who redeemed bald men in this show dies.
Merlin gets to hand jive some fog into the scene, though.
Seeing how the Druid guy is killed and Morgana is recaptured, the fog doesn't really help all that much. But hey, it looks cool. And Merlin nearly gets himself killed By Arthur.
Mordred proves to be an extra creepy hobbit child who can kill people by screaming. Which frankly, Frodo, I don’t really think is fair. But then, nothing is fair at and around Camelot. And anyway, the attack looked difficult, lik eone of those video game attacks where you have to just waiting until you are somehow surrounded by five enemies and then can summon the attack that wipes them all out awesomely instead of having to shot/stab/whatever them all one by one.
Arthur’s going to blame it on a lightening bolt, though. Someone show that boy a lighten bolt before he has a fit over it. He just really wishes lightening was a lot more viable. However, in a land of myth in a time of legend, were magic can do anything and natural disasters are naturally infrequent, there is no place for lightening bolts. Instead, the future…one boy…Merlin. Blah blah blah. Yeah. We know. But give Arthur points for trying at least.
Uh, I need to think of something to pretend that wasn't just a mini Uther/Morgana picspam right there.... UH.
Uther: So?
Arthur: It was Druids who kidnapped her. Lightening-less, typical, run-of-the-mill Druid shenanigans.
Uther: And?
Arthur: You were right and I was wrong.
Uther: Ehem?
Arthur: And I'm very sorry.
Uther: Good boy. Now go fetch Morgana some better clothes. What is she wearing, 15 thread count? It's chafing me already, and I'm wearing sleeves.
AHHHHH, WHO IS THAT MAN IN MORGANA'S BED???? Seriously, if I were Katie, I would kick some ass over that shot. I noticed the unflatteringness before I even capped it, guys. Why are we not perpetuating impossible standards of female perfect-hair beauty here?
Morgana and Merlin have now reached a weird place. It is weird. I refuse to meta, so I’ll stop now. Let’s just say he does a bit more than try not to start at her breasts, now. He's also trying not to drop hints on her magic.
Arthur, you double-standard perpetuating manservant stalker. This is the lesser known third reason Uther might execute you: 1) magic, all sorts--you guys need a wizard to cough on you really, 2) the hell of it, AAAAAND 3) you make oogly eyes at Morgana a bit more than her breasts entail.
Arthur, you don't know about women. Merlin knows how gay you were before Gwen.
Arthur: You can’t even be her friend. Capeesh?
Merlin: Yeah. Got it.
Arthur: Also…is it the color red? Gaius wears it now. You like him. Morgana wears it. Suddenly you like her.
Merlin: Heh. You wear red all the time. I don’t like you.
Arthur: What did we say about being funny?
Merlin: I wasn’t being funny.
Arthur: You got that right.
Also, I love when they have the same colored shirt on.
Ouch. Merlin. That go-along smile died fast. I’m not even sure Arthur had turned the corner before you were glaring after him with your sad, woobie emo eyes and sarcastic sigh. Merlin…you are stressed the hell out. Go take a nap. Go listen to some woobie music.
Richard Wilson does angry Gaius well. I was actually going along with it chanting “hit him hit him hit him” under my breath before I figured Gaius was going to hug this out instead. Then the music sound like LOTR during the hug, and I lolled and had to rewind to catch everything they sad after that point.
Hug it out, guys. Hug it out. I'm not even going to make pervy Gaius comments...yet.
This show has no concept of personal space. I mean, ignoring that they just hugged, people actually do typically get this close to talk to each other. It adds to chemistry of everyone/everyone. It adds a lot.
Yes, I am closing this scene on a pic of Colin Kissyface Merlin. AHAHAHAAAA. YES. I JUST DID WHAT YOU THINK I DID.
HIGHLIGHT OF NEXT WEEK FOR ME [other than the obvious SantiaGUH CabreGUH]: MORE CHANDELIER CRUSH ACTION! I do enjoy chandelier crushing people. Episode one of series one spoiled me terribly. I especially love it when they are all the same chandelier. Whoever's in the chandelier business in Merlin-verse is making a killing.
YES! THIS PROVES I CAN ACTUALLY RECAP AN EPISODE WITHOUT A LULZY FOCUS ON ARTHUR. I've be over in the corner now, being stunned with myself.
Also, if it seems there are more caps than usual this week, that's because 1) Katie is pretty, 2) It makes it look like I actually have more to say, and 3) IDEK.
So yeah. There's that then.
So, here's the recap. I made it up last night, but then I wanted to get to bed early, so I didn't add the caps to it. Then, I managed to SLEEP FOR FIFTEEN FREAKING HOURS. HOLY SHIT.
So yeah.
Feel free to pilfer caps. And observe as I try not to turn this in to a total Katie picspam.... xD
EPISODE 03: WAIT, UTHER HAS A WARD?
aka., I thought they named the dog floating hypnoboobs Morgana
Hello Camelot!
Gwen, working the overtime again. It's actually becoming less and less noteworthy now that it keeps happening, except now we can blame it on her stalking Arthur and hoping to run into him while she "fetches blankets because Morgan might be cold".
Because we all know that when Morgana get's cold, she's liable to start burning things in her chambers.
Gwen, don’t be all surprised Morgana can lit a candle. She had to toughen up and learn those kind of skills while you were off smooching with Arthur for a week.
I actually really like the opening with the fire. I wonder if Hundith had similar problems with Merlin. More importantly: I like Katie's golden eyes.
I’m going to try not to wonder why they waited until morning to at least begin the investigation. Doesn’t look like the kinda fire to take five hours to put out to me, but who knows. Maybe Arthur looks so bored because he had to run in here last night and conclude it was lightening. He desperately doesn't want to have to conclude any more than that in a day. It's tiring.
Arthur: I trust Gwen.
Gwen: Tee-hee-hee, he likes me.
Merlin: This is not awkward.
Uther: [out of shot] ♪ "Magic magic magic~!" ♪
Uther: What could have caused this?
Arthur: Well, my vote's on lightening.
Uther: This is not a democracy. You have no vote. It was Magic.
Arthur: But it was raining.
Uther: But magic actually makes a lot more sense.
Arthur: [mumble] Well, I bet Gaius could convince you it was lightening. [mumble]
Uther: I heard that.
Gwen and Merlin: [feeling awkward]
Uther: I want you to arrest a bunch of people.
Arthur: "That’s going to take time...”
Uther: WTF DID YOU SAY, BOI?
Seriously, you can't blame Uther for snapping at Arthur over this. Since when did you care how much time shit took, Arthur? What else were you planning on doing with your afternoon? Stomping around making googly eyes at Gwen?
I mean, Arthur's not even reacting in a way that's like "that will take time away from finding the real arsonist." No, he's just unhappy it's going to suck minutes out of his day.
Of course. it's always incredibly possible he's just setting up Uther's next line very obviously.... Or he really just don't give a fuck about anyone threatening Morgana. Or, he's still bitter about Uther shooting down his cool, science-y lightening explanation.
Merlin does a lot of peering through things into other things this season. He's taken after Gaius's sneaky voyeuristic ways. Next step: Get on backrub terms with everyone. Then, you yourself can be well on your way to smooth sneaky raep court physician status.
Morgana: You’re the only one who knows about my dreams
Uncle Gaius: Let me touch you.
Morgana: I caused the fire.
Uncle Gaius: There, there, let me touch you all better.
Morgana: It’s magic.
Uncle Gaius: No, not magic. Just think of it that you’ve simply gotten too hot and sexy for candles to withstand.
Morgana: I’m not a child!
Uncle Gaius: Hm. I’ll have to test that. Science and all….
Lol, is this what Gaius says to all his one-night stands: “Last night was an accident. It had nothing to do with you. How could it have? I am going to draw you up a fresh remedy that will make you feel better, I promise.” OH THE BRUSH-OFF.
Back to our regularly scheduled program: Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly: Camelot Detectives:
Magical Merlz: I was helping clear up Morgana’s chambers earlier.
Gaius Batman McFly: Hm?
Magical Merlz: The window was blown out into the courtyard below.
Gaius Batman McFly: Hm. Interesting note, Robin.
Magical Merlz: That’s odd, isn’t it? If lighting had struck the window like Arthur said, [DOING HIS BEST GAIUS VOICE IMPRESSION THIS HALF OF THE LINE, NOT EVEN KIDDING] you’d think the glass would’ve fallen inside of the window.
I do love how he mentions his bff's hypothesis. Even if he's just mentioning to shoot it down. No-one one has any faith in any of Arthur's brains.
Merlin!Colin, how so gorgeous? And why is the lighting almost always on your left side exclusively?
As we can see, Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly: Camelot Detectives starts up again at four and a half minutes in. Still not as quick as episode one of series two, but pretty damn good. This week is much more dramatic. It’s full of secrets and moral disagreements between Magical Merlz and his believed, venerable old mentor Det. McFly. Gaius knows form his “days on the force” that you can’t intercede at will to these personal magic cases, and that the only time he ever, ever made and exception was for Magical Merlz.
Arthur, just because you aren't getting ass doesn't mean you have to dial in on everyone else in the castle who may or may not be having better luck than you are. I'm sure Arthur has been a hoot at training this week.... I imagine it's gone something like this:
Arthur: Sorry, Sir Kevin, did that elbow thrust get you in the eye? Oh well, go sit it out a bit. I'm sure your wife will forgive the bruising.
Sir Kevin: What has my wife got to do with my training injuries?
Arthur: Oh. Well I imagine she's the one that takes care of you afterward. You know. Put a compress on the wound at night. Listens to you lie about how much it doesn't hurt. Talks you down then they lying go too far and you're hiding your little winches of pain because you don't want her to needlessly worry. Then she tells you how strong and brave you are to be a knight and defend your fair kingdom. Laughs when you tell her it was the clout Arthur's fault...
Sir Kevin: My lord...
Arthur: ...Then makes you a delicious chicken dinner and feeds it to you. Comforts you with her body. Comforts you a lot with her body. Which is sort of incredibly ridiculous because it's only a black eye. It's not like you've been stabbed with a jousting lance by an assassin or anything. It's not like you even deserve her nightly affections at all really.
[long awkward pause]
Sir Kevin: ...You're not getting any are you, my lord?
Arthur: And you won't either. I'm putting you on night shift. Right now. For a week.
Sir Kevin: My eye!
Arthur: Shut the fuck up about your damn eye and take it. For Camelot!
No point to these caps. I just feel I need to cap Gwen as much as possible this episode. For posterity. So I actually remember that she was in it.
GWEN FACE! Finally, I've got one!
Morgana: You’ve already done so much, Gwen.
Gwen: Just one snuggle, milady?
Morgana: I couldn't make you. And you’ve already pulled so much overtime.
Gwen: But we don’t have to count this.
Morgana: No. I’m fine. I’m sure of it. I’m planning to keep the girls under wraps most of this episode anyway.
Gwen: Yes, milady….
To be fair, they were some pretty fug flowers in my opinion. But it was the thought that counted, Morgana. No need to blow them up....
Merlin...is it's Katie's fault that the lighting department is trying to hard to hollow out your face with shadows and make you look like freaking Rhys-Meyers half this episode?
The slash dragon! Makes unhappy faces! Because he knows how this ends. However, I like to think he’s sad how little lulzy Arthur/Merlin interaction there is in this episode. On top of all that, Morgana is displaying precious little cleavage. Seriously. She’s becoming a nun, not a witch.
Also, I capped the sad face, but it's too hard to see out of motion. So you get more Merlin faces.
AHAHAAAAA. He even cleans chain mail like a woobie emo!Merlin.
Arthur: So like, do you have a list of people I need to arrest?
Knight: Yeah.
Arthur: Fine. God, I have so many better things to do. This is such a waste of time.
Knight: What?
Arthur: I don’t give a fuck about Morgana’s safety. Like, at all.
Knight: Since when?
Arthur: Since I started oogling her maid.
Knight: What’s going to happen to the maid if Morgana is hurt, then?
Arthur: …
Knight: Hm?
Arthur: Goddamit. Hand me the damn list, then. Gotta go arrest me some bitches, then. Speaking of bitches…. Merlin, what’s up with cleaning my armor?
Merlin: Mucking stables is strange and a talking bird isn’t?
That line made me flash back to Pushing Daisies so hard. Merlin would looooove Pushing Daisies. Has a few relevant themes to his own life, I say.
Oh Bradley…you said “so where are my flowers?” a bit too seriously there. If that’s the cut that made the episode, I and sort of desperately curious how the others were. [No, I don't remembered where exactly they say anything in this conversation, so I'm just punctuating the caps randomly with commentary.]
Arthur: Or is she the only one to receive a token of your affections?
Merlin: Yes. Uh--no, no. Uh--what? It’s not a token of anything, affection or otherwise.
Arthur: I see, so why were you trying to hide them from me yesterday?
Merlin: I wasn’t. I mean, I was. I just uh, didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.
OKAY, I HOPE ALL OF THE TIME MERLIN GETS TEASED FOR LIKING SOME GIRL END UP SOUNDING LIKE PUSHING DAISIES DIALOGUE.
Imagine this is Colin Merlin looking at you.
You can thank me later, babes. ;)
Morgana: It’s usually Gwen who has to deal with me like this.
Merlin: [RASPY VOICE OF SEX AND/OR BATMAN IMPRESONATING] I don’t mind. Maybe I could help.
Morgana: I doubt it. You don’t even have mancushions, much less girlcushions.
Merlin: [RASPS ON] You’d be surprised.
Then, he loses his rasp and is just woobie ole Merlz again.
But Katie's still hot.
Well.
Gaius McFly--finally the invite someone with investigatory skills to the crime scene. Of course, this time Gaius has little reason to be late on account of backrubs.
Gaius: This is cherry kool-aide. If you're going to pretend to bring her drugs, don't make me look bad, boy.
Magical Merlz and Det. McFly bond over how they’ve got each other and magic is good and Gaius’s eyebrow is on constant vigilance. However, I don’t see how perpetually drugging Morgana is supposed to work long-term without her eventually blowing her cover by, I dunno, blowing up the castle or something. I mean, clearly her powers are saying “we shall not be managed by pharmaceuticals”. It’s more tha just dreams now. I dunno what Gaius is hoping to suppress. She nearing Merlin-level now.
Wow, Morgana’s put some mileage into those heels. She freaking walked to the Forest of Creepy Synth Noises. Is it right next door to Camelot?
Magical Merlz and Gaius McFly share the inevitable look of “damn, you fucked this up, Merlz”.
WAY TO GO UTHER! He hasn’t put a single thing in his mouth this entire episode so far. He’s probably on a diet now.
Gaius is kinda adorable sleeping. Also, I believe Merlin was only born with magic to compensate his clumsiness....
Yeah, Merlin. Magic users and the people who they’ve coughed on are being hunted down and going to be executed. SO MAKE HUGE MAGICAL FLAME TORCHES TO SCARE THE GUARDS. I dunno, but Uther probably needs to train some guards who don’t run crying at the first sign of magic. Especially since his entire kingdom is set up around this strict anti-magic policy. I mean, wouldn’t you train guards to be less “omfg magic! run!” and more “ohshit, magic--where’s the son of a bitch hiding then?”
So Merlin just likes to blow everything up this season. I see. Typical boy.
Well, at least she knows she has the chance to win the Druids over with some boob action. Nice dress, Morgana. It’s all bright and obvious. The Druids won’t miss you. Nor will anything else….
^^^Anything else just arrived.
Right now she is thinking “WHAT THE FUCK, MERLIN? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”
C'mon, you know were aaaaaall wondering what happened to that broom. We all needed that continuity shot. Dr. Gaius has still got it. All that broom picking up and setting into place action.
Gaius looks so cute in his long sleeved robe. It reminds me everyone being horrified of Buffy "you lied to Giles?", except it like "you ran out on Gaius?"
JESUS, I thought I was joking about Morgana putting some mileage into those heels….
I am Aglain, Guardian of the Scorpions.
Mordred: Now I can take care of you. Like you did me.
Am I the only person terrified of an 11-year-old Creepy Raep Child? Asa is cute and all. Mordred is just creepy hobbit child.
Arthur: There is some confusion as to how that was broken.
He say “broken” so simply. In no way does his tone imply it as blown the fuck up with magic sparklers. or even just forcibly blow up. He make it sound like a few bars are missing. “Yeah, the grate was broken some. Actually, funny thing, it’s sort of broken a lot. As in, completely destroyed.”
Arthur: There is some confusion as to how that was broken. By the looks of these scorch marks….
Uther: There is no confusion. It was magic.
Arthur: Yes, but have we ruled out lightening? See, lighting could have just come in here in the night and by the look of these scorch marks….
Uther: IT WAS MAGIC. Stop talking about lightening. You’re never hanging out with Gaius again.
Uther: Where does the random path I do not know right next to my castle lead, perchance?
Arthur: Forest of Creepy Synth Noises. Caught me a scorpion as big as my forearm down there once. Wasn’t bad eating.
Uther: I have long suspected the Druids were hiding there. Although I had no idea it was so close, or I might have investigated sooner.
Arthur: The trail will lead us straight to them.
Uther: Oh, well that’s convenient. Even better. Might as well invade, then.
Okay, I love the echoing voices scene. I got all excited like a movie.
Uther. Oh, Uther. I weep for all the things you do not know. Adorable Gaius will not be enough to comfort you in your pain when you realize Morgana's a witch.
Poor Arthur, having to invade Druids who didn’t seem to bother him earlier, seeing how he knows almost exactly where to find them.
ALTHOUGH, helloooooo Twilight-hair!
Awww, looks like Arthur brought his comb to the massacre, though. To invade in style is a must.
So Merlin is adorable. At least he can adorably lead Arthur and his men straight to the Druids.
Jesus, Merlin. Arthur can track you like a dog, and you are leading him right to the Druids. Cue a lot of fretting and wibbling on my part, because you know this won’t end well. What with the tone of series two and woobie Merlin. Merlin just needs a whole of a lot more to be a woobie about, right? God….
Morgana: Merlin! Hello!
Merlin: ...Hey. So, you aren't gonna believe how badly I just fucked shit up....
Morgana: Why you here? To congratulate me on finding my true home?
Merlin: About that...
So, Arthur attacks the Druids with lots of dramatic log-jumping-over action. And somehow we're still supposed to see Mordred Baggins as adorable with only a twinge of creepy, and not the other way around. And The nice Druid man who redeemed bald men in this show dies.
Merlin gets to hand jive some fog into the scene, though.
Seeing how the Druid guy is killed and Morgana is recaptured, the fog doesn't really help all that much. But hey, it looks cool. And Merlin nearly gets himself killed By Arthur.
Mordred proves to be an extra creepy hobbit child who can kill people by screaming. Which frankly, Frodo, I don’t really think is fair. But then, nothing is fair at and around Camelot. And anyway, the attack looked difficult, lik eone of those video game attacks where you have to just waiting until you are somehow surrounded by five enemies and then can summon the attack that wipes them all out awesomely instead of having to shot/stab/whatever them all one by one.
Arthur’s going to blame it on a lightening bolt, though. Someone show that boy a lighten bolt before he has a fit over it. He just really wishes lightening was a lot more viable. However, in a land of myth in a time of legend, were magic can do anything and natural disasters are naturally infrequent, there is no place for lightening bolts. Instead, the future…one boy…Merlin. Blah blah blah. Yeah. We know. But give Arthur points for trying at least.
Uh, I need to think of something to pretend that wasn't just a mini Uther/Morgana picspam right there.... UH.
Uther: So?
Arthur: It was Druids who kidnapped her. Lightening-less, typical, run-of-the-mill Druid shenanigans.
Uther: And?
Arthur: You were right and I was wrong.
Uther: Ehem?
Arthur: And I'm very sorry.
Uther: Good boy. Now go fetch Morgana some better clothes. What is she wearing, 15 thread count? It's chafing me already, and I'm wearing sleeves.
AHHHHH, WHO IS THAT MAN IN MORGANA'S BED???? Seriously, if I were Katie, I would kick some ass over that shot. I noticed the unflatteringness before I even capped it, guys. Why are we not perpetuating impossible standards of female perfect-hair beauty here?
Morgana and Merlin have now reached a weird place. It is weird. I refuse to meta, so I’ll stop now. Let’s just say he does a bit more than try not to start at her breasts, now. He's also trying not to drop hints on her magic.
Arthur, you double-standard perpetuating manservant stalker. This is the lesser known third reason Uther might execute you: 1) magic, all sorts--you guys need a wizard to cough on you really, 2) the hell of it, AAAAAND 3) you make oogly eyes at Morgana a bit more than her breasts entail.
Arthur, you don't know about women. Merlin knows how gay you were before Gwen.
Arthur: You can’t even be her friend. Capeesh?
Merlin: Yeah. Got it.
Arthur: Also…is it the color red? Gaius wears it now. You like him. Morgana wears it. Suddenly you like her.
Merlin: Heh. You wear red all the time. I don’t like you.
Arthur: What did we say about being funny?
Merlin: I wasn’t being funny.
Arthur: You got that right.
Also, I love when they have the same colored shirt on.
Ouch. Merlin. That go-along smile died fast. I’m not even sure Arthur had turned the corner before you were glaring after him with your sad, woobie emo eyes and sarcastic sigh. Merlin…you are stressed the hell out. Go take a nap. Go listen to some woobie music.
Richard Wilson does angry Gaius well. I was actually going along with it chanting “hit him hit him hit him” under my breath before I figured Gaius was going to hug this out instead. Then the music sound like LOTR during the hug, and I lolled and had to rewind to catch everything they sad after that point.
Hug it out, guys. Hug it out. I'm not even going to make pervy Gaius comments...yet.
This show has no concept of personal space. I mean, ignoring that they just hugged, people actually do typically get this close to talk to each other. It adds to chemistry of everyone/everyone. It adds a lot.
Yes, I am closing this scene on a pic of Colin Kissyface Merlin. AHAHAHAAAA. YES. I JUST DID WHAT YOU THINK I DID.
HIGHLIGHT OF NEXT WEEK FOR ME [other than the obvious SantiaGUH CabreGUH]: MORE CHANDELIER CRUSH ACTION! I do enjoy chandelier crushing people. Episode one of series one spoiled me terribly. I especially love it when they are all the same chandelier. Whoever's in the chandelier business in Merlin-verse is making a killing.
YES! THIS PROVES I CAN ACTUALLY RECAP AN EPISODE WITHOUT A LULZY FOCUS ON ARTHUR. I've be over in the corner now, being stunned with myself.
Also, if it seems there are more caps than usual this week, that's because 1) Katie is pretty, 2) It makes it look like I actually have more to say, and 3) IDEK.
So yeah. There's that then.