RIP Grandma
my grandma passed away this morning. she was 86 years old. she lived a real tough life, and suffered until her dying day. i am relieved that she has gone to a better place, but at the same time cannot help but feel sad and depressed that this world has lost someone so caring, loving, lovable, and happy despite her misfortunes. as a young woman she raised 3 children by herself. she lost her left leg in an accident from the knee down. with hard work and self sacrifice, she was able to raise her children who would grow up to become successful enough to move to the US to provide a better life for their children. she came to the US a few years later and worked in a factory alongside my parents, aunts and uncles. she was one of the hardest workers there. when i was a child she raised me while my parents worked. she was there for me when my parents were having marital problems and were separated for a short time. she cooked me the best food i ever tasted. i will never forget the way her special rice mixed with soy sauce, sesame oil, and butter would make me feel so comforted and warm inside. she could never sit still, she would always be outside tending to her garden or inside cleaning and cooking. she was overly active for someone who had a prosthetic leg. on weekends she would put on nice clothes and always wore makeup. she was obsessive with saving things, putting them away in her worn out gucci bag. she always wanted to give give give, and never keep anything for herself. about 10 years ago her memory started fading. she started saying and doing senile things. after falling down one day she was admitted to the hospital and put in a home so that she could be cared for 24 hours a day. i visited her quite often, about twice a month. she'd be so happy to see us. we'd bring her her favorite foods, we'd sing with her and joke around. she started to forget things more often. she would still join us on holidays and just sit there, barely talking but i knew deep down she was happy to be home, even if it was for short periods of time. she was in and out of the hospital a few times. this final time she had trouble breathing on her own. after a long 2 weeks of seeing her suffer and being moved to ICU, i just wanted her to be relieved of her pain. as much as i loved and cared for her, and as much as i was scared.... i just wanted her to move on, and I knew God had a plan and that it was her time to be with Him. i just hope and pray that she's in heaven right now, smiling down at me.