Happy Thanksgiving
I don't even remember what an authentic Thanksgiving feels like. This is my fourth Thanksgiving in a row spent with no family members, and the year before the first one with no family, I didn't have a Thanksgiving at all. Not to say I haven't had fun the past couple of years during this holiday, but really, it's not the same thing as seeing my whole family gathered around together at a table, not fighting, enjoying themselves, and being able to see only the most positive and beautiful facets of life.
I'm spending this Thanksgiving alone in my apartment, making telephone calls to family, watching movies, writing songs, and sleeping. The sumptuous feast for one is probably just going to consist of some Progresso minestrone. Lots of people have invited me to do lots of different things, and once I found out work didn't need me for anything I was definitely considering doing a few of them, but ultimately I decided that it would be best for me to just lay low. It's not like I'm not grateful for the invitations, and it's not like I don't think I would enjoy those things, but at the same time, it gets exhausting to keep trying to pretend like I'm a genuine part of someone else's family when I know I'm not. Spending this holiday with other people's families was hard enough for me when I regularly saw my own family, but as of right now I've only seen them for a total of about fourteen days since September 22nd of 2007 (if that). When I explained my plan to my parents, they got depressed and told me that I should at least go and do something with someone, but what's the point? I know for sure that I have a long, hectic day ahead of me tomorrow, and I'd rather just take it easy and be ready for battle when the other shoe drops.
On an unrelated note, I've been feeling like certain people have me on the back burner lately. It's fine. That's probably where I should be for the most part.
I want everyone who has the opportunity to see their mother today, to let her know how beautiful a person she is, and how much she means to you. In the cases of most people who read this, I'm sure I'm right.
I'm trimming and shaving my facial hair on December 1st.
I can't wait until December 6th. I need to play. I need to release my Debbie Downer-ism. I need to feel revitalized the way only a set well-played can make me feel. I need to write more music. I need to work more hours. I need to meet more people.
This year I feel like a lot of things have tested me as a person, and I found out about myself that I might be stronger than I used to think.
Rudyard Kipling is throwing gasoline on the fire inside me that keeps my left foot going in front of my right.
"If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!"
Enjoy your holiday.
XO
I'm spending this Thanksgiving alone in my apartment, making telephone calls to family, watching movies, writing songs, and sleeping. The sumptuous feast for one is probably just going to consist of some Progresso minestrone. Lots of people have invited me to do lots of different things, and once I found out work didn't need me for anything I was definitely considering doing a few of them, but ultimately I decided that it would be best for me to just lay low. It's not like I'm not grateful for the invitations, and it's not like I don't think I would enjoy those things, but at the same time, it gets exhausting to keep trying to pretend like I'm a genuine part of someone else's family when I know I'm not. Spending this holiday with other people's families was hard enough for me when I regularly saw my own family, but as of right now I've only seen them for a total of about fourteen days since September 22nd of 2007 (if that). When I explained my plan to my parents, they got depressed and told me that I should at least go and do something with someone, but what's the point? I know for sure that I have a long, hectic day ahead of me tomorrow, and I'd rather just take it easy and be ready for battle when the other shoe drops.
On an unrelated note, I've been feeling like certain people have me on the back burner lately. It's fine. That's probably where I should be for the most part.
I want everyone who has the opportunity to see their mother today, to let her know how beautiful a person she is, and how much she means to you. In the cases of most people who read this, I'm sure I'm right.
I'm trimming and shaving my facial hair on December 1st.
I can't wait until December 6th. I need to play. I need to release my Debbie Downer-ism. I need to feel revitalized the way only a set well-played can make me feel. I need to write more music. I need to work more hours. I need to meet more people.
This year I feel like a lot of things have tested me as a person, and I found out about myself that I might be stronger than I used to think.
Rudyard Kipling is throwing gasoline on the fire inside me that keeps my left foot going in front of my right.
"If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!"
Enjoy your holiday.
XO