This week
I haven't been sleeping well and when I wake up I remember having dreams about Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and some big things that come up as a blank when I try to remember them. I don't remember what I dreamed about. I've been writing lately too which exorcises most of my slashy thoughts, which makes me more productive in life maybe but makes it hard to fall asleep, wake up, get through the day, use my imagination in general. Which is the downside of relying on imagination, because it's unreliable. Though I want this job I'm trying to get. No, really. It's just trying to get a job is a drag because you have to work for something you don't really want. Money is nice. Something to do is nice. A job is not so nice. And this is a more mature version of me. It's funny to think of teaching high schoolers who will always have more going on than I do. Because I had nada in high school. Not the living hell that some go through, but I've blocked alot of it out for a reason. You don't listen to 24 hours straight of lite 70s easy listening when you're 15 unless you're desperate. It's like I was training my whole life for an office job and now that I have one I don't like what it says about me. And it's only cool to be a snob if you're, well, cool. No wonder my alter ego is a 15 year old dead boy who dreams of obliteration. Personality transplant, please?