Under the Red Hood (or, big day in 'ship land)
Batman: Under the Red Hood came out today! Officially!
(BTW, that title always reminds me of lesbian sex - possibly because I'm watching all seasons of The L Word in like two weeks? RL is also kicking my ass this week. I am giving myself one hour to think about Robins and post this.)
I broke down and bought the special edition at Best Buy, which includes:
- one sexy and adorable little 3.5 inch Red Hood figurine
- creepy/pretty cover art
- one 24-minute documentary about Robins (wherein grown men talk seriously about things like exposition while Robin's thighs loom in the background)
- one two-part episode of The Animated Series that is all about angsty Dick (bonus inclusion of the best. title. theme. ever.)
- trailers/previews/first looks for Batman/Superman: Apocalypse, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Jonah Hex, Batman: Gotham Knight (the Animatrix of Batman movies - Batman as Samurai - woooooow) , Superman: Doomsday (already have this one - oooooooh Lois!), Lord of the Rings: Animated (the old school version), and Legend of the Guardians (owls, gorgeous gorgeous OWLS)
Oh, and the actual movie:
Jensen is FANTASTIC in it, and Neil Patrick Harris makes a nice Dick, and I have to say it's a really great movie, even for Batman animated features (which I usually love) and even for this storyline (which is my favorite). It's so good it kind of hurts. Only it's too short. But still. Even the villains are interesting, and that doesn't often happen. Plus there are dozens of little touches and references that I love (many listed below) and places where they just went for it and you get a little gut punch. It's all about the iconography, and the 'shippiness of EVERYONE (because this is a Bat movie). I would say the first scene and the last scene are the highlights, but then there are so many highlights in between.
It's just - this is one of the best Batman stories from 70 years of stories, and they really tried to do it justice. And it's about Robin, but still ends up being all about Bruce, which is perhaps the most perfect thing about it, because that's everything right there. The harsh injustice of it all makes me want to watch it again and again.
Now I'm gonna get obnoxious:
My list o' cool things in the movie! ... pretty much ruins the whole movie if you haven't watched it. So go watch it :D (Honestly, it's on YouTube, has been circulating online for weeks, and it's in the stores. Hard to miss it.)
00:10 Badass DC intro
00:48 Hello, Sarajevo
01:05 Hello, Robin. OH THIS SCENE.
01:24 Breathing Jason in pain. JFC.
02:11 Jason, you punk, ILU.
02:25 Anime eyes
03:25 More anime eyes.
03:50 Where Jason proceeds to drag himself across the floor. It kind of hits me - so, Batman is this symbol of strength born out of moments of vulnerability that never stops fighting. So is Jason's Robin Bruce's Batman? Does Robin serve the same purpose for Batman that Batman serves for Robin? I kind of think so.
05:11 Okay, I forgive Robin's change of costume for thematic reasons. I get it. Fine, fine.
05:20 GORGEOUS title sequence of gothic perfection. Also, music, yes yes.
07:20 Hello, Gotham.
08:06 Hello, Jensen. Bitter growl, rowr.
11:40 Exposition, hahaha. I can guess who's gonna show up next...
12:02 Hello, Dick!!! Little woosh sounds when you leap, hooray!
12:28 More exposition, hahaha.
12:46 Random slo mo, FTW
16:02 Chevelle
18:00 Red Hood speech o' irony. Jensen sarcasm voice, woo.
19:44 Stir that cocoa, Nightwing.
21:00 Motorcycle fetish and big boy pants
23:36 "Yes, Batman likes to keep things." The Black Mask scenes are HILARIOUS. Not a dull moment, Winick.
25:43 Nightwing keeps a staple gun on him?? Parkour chase scene! They all leap differently *swoon*
29:27 "I'm chatty - it's part of my charm." YES YES IT IS.
30:01 "Thank you." Guilty much, Bruce?
30:33 "your touch" THIS. LOLOLOLOL. Sorry, I'm twelve.
31:08 GIGGLY BABY ROBIN. Could your voice be any higher? You're so cute I'm gonna die.
32:17 CLAVICLE. Um, I mean, collarbone. Classic Jason.
34:22 "The Rusty Nail"???
37:30 Dramatic entrance + "Shut up and fight"
38:50 "I gotta say, I missed watching you work." - 2nd most slashy line in the movie
40:23 After a battle with mechanized assassins and a guy in a batsuit, Jason's surprised by empathy?? This gets me every time.
41:25 Uh oh, you've upset Alfred. Now you're gonna get it!
42:35 "Or... it's something else. Can't you feel it?" Um, YEAH. UST.
45:23 Another gratuitous crowbar shot. And... latex body dummies.
48:16 "What did you do. to. Jason?" Badass.
52:43 GAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHAAAAAAAAAAT MUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMY (bonus Lazarus puke, FTW)
53:27 Shakespearean dialogue of guilt and irony.
54:16 Bonus juvie!Jason
57:54 Bat splooge
59:28 More bonus crowbar! Hehehe, it's like Dean torturing Alastair! Awwwww.
1:00:15 FLASHBACK OMG! Bruce/Jason revolves around ironic automotive tools. Fight in the rain fight in the rain!
1:02:10 Cowl porn
1:04:30 Fighting instead of fucking in a dirty bathroom.
1:05:10 "I... I'm trying to save you now."
1:07:06 "I'm talking about him, just him. And doing it because, because he took me away from you." - Slashiest line in movie. Even Joker sees it.
1:07:50 And Jensen starts crying.... here.
1:08:35 "I'm Batman" SPN moment
1:08:55 "You managed to find a way to win, and everybody still loses!" Man, I love that line. So fucking cruel. This is totally ending like the Dean/Alastair scene. Does that mean Batman is Castiel? Yikes, it kind of does. They are both equally non-effective when it matters.
1:10:17 Does Dick even know!?! WTF!
1:11:08 Bruce you stubborn fucker.
1:11:30 PRIMPING
1:11:43 Ok, Bruce, I forgive you, with your drinking of the cocoa and your raising of the eyebrow.
1:12:11 ROBIN YOU MURDER MEEEEEEEE WITH YOUR TRAGICALLY IRONIC HAPPINESS. It's like "A Great Day for Everyone" in comic form, while the rest of this movie is like "A Death in the Family" and "Under the Hood" - and there you have my three favorites.
1:12:15 Appropriate sad and rainy end title sequence. The end.
I made this list of reasons I 'ship Bruce/Jason while Jason was Robin. The intended recipient should be tired of listening by now if she isn't already, so I'll share my obnoxiousness with everyone:
Reasons for Robin-era Bruce/Jason:
1. Bruce doesn't fall in love or lose control, but he does for Jason. That is why it's hot. Jason's youth and beauty give him a surprising amount of power over Bruce and that is also hot.
2. In return, Jason often ignores Bruce's attempts to control him, but not always. No one controls Jason, but Bruce sometimes does, and that is also hot.
3. Jason is the anti-Dick. And Bruce has at least a decade of sexual repression under his belt. And a major Robin fetish.
4. Jason is practiced in sexual manipulation. But Bruce can still surprise him.
5. Jason thinks he is a top. But Bruce can still surprise him.
6. Jason and Bruce speak in a physical, sexual language and suck at communicating in any other way. They have sex to get through to one another.
7. Bruce is used to being the most beautiful, troubled person in the room. Unless Jason is there.
8. The Robin-is-a-magical-path-to-maturity thing is actually true. Beating up on men twice your size and psycho killers and saving Bruce's life a billion times allows for the perks of fucking your boss.
9. Unlike Dick, Jason would find other people to be fucking if he wasn't fucking Bruce. In fact, sometimes he fucks other people anyway. Bruce knows this.
10. Bruce and Jason don't even have to fuck. It's heteronormative anyway. Imagine lots of rolling around and wrestling, post-patrol blowjobs, cuddling in bed, hand jobs in the car, lots of making out while they're gaining each other's trust and learning how to live together 24/7.
11. So Bruce gets out of a long-term relationship with his first Robin, and there's all this stuff he doesn't touch with a ten-foot pole. And Jason has this fucked-up childhood full of stuff he doesn't touch with a ten-foot pole. They are both incredibly gifted with denial, and gifted with the urge to fuck away their problems.
12. Bruce needs to rescue his Robins. He gives them what they need. Jason needs Bruce.
13. Being with Jason would be wrong in Bruce's eyes, but it still beats being with Dick in the level of fucked-up-ness. If Bruce only thought of it in terms of his own world, it would logically make sense. It's like choosing a second Robin in the first place - by all accounts a bad idea, but he'll never say no. Bruce learned certain lessons as a child and the results of those lessons can at best be called ambiguous.
14. Brucie loves Jay. Jay loves Brucie. But they can be childish and insecure and emotionally stunted and vindictive. Still, it takes one to know one.
15. They save lives. They save each other. They know life is fleeting and temporary and short, even before they die. Again.
16. Giving in to each other makes them stronger.
Look! A fanart tribute !!!
Thanks to everyone who sends me Robin spam - rubynye and xxamlaxx and moodswingers (who is an expert at it). OMG YOU MAKE MY DAY ♥ ♥ ♥
/squee
(BTW, that title always reminds me of lesbian sex - possibly because I'm watching all seasons of The L Word in like two weeks? RL is also kicking my ass this week. I am giving myself one hour to think about Robins and post this.)
I broke down and bought the special edition at Best Buy, which includes:
- one sexy and adorable little 3.5 inch Red Hood figurine
- creepy/pretty cover art
- one 24-minute documentary about Robins (wherein grown men talk seriously about things like exposition while Robin's thighs loom in the background)
- one two-part episode of The Animated Series that is all about angsty Dick (bonus inclusion of the best. title. theme. ever.)
- trailers/previews/first looks for Batman/Superman: Apocalypse, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Jonah Hex, Batman: Gotham Knight (the Animatrix of Batman movies - Batman as Samurai - woooooow) , Superman: Doomsday (already have this one - oooooooh Lois!), Lord of the Rings: Animated (the old school version), and Legend of the Guardians (owls, gorgeous gorgeous OWLS)
Oh, and the actual movie:
Jensen is FANTASTIC in it, and Neil Patrick Harris makes a nice Dick, and I have to say it's a really great movie, even for Batman animated features (which I usually love) and even for this storyline (which is my favorite). It's so good it kind of hurts. Only it's too short. But still. Even the villains are interesting, and that doesn't often happen. Plus there are dozens of little touches and references that I love (many listed below) and places where they just went for it and you get a little gut punch. It's all about the iconography, and the 'shippiness of EVERYONE (because this is a Bat movie). I would say the first scene and the last scene are the highlights, but then there are so many highlights in between.
It's just - this is one of the best Batman stories from 70 years of stories, and they really tried to do it justice. And it's about Robin, but still ends up being all about Bruce, which is perhaps the most perfect thing about it, because that's everything right there. The harsh injustice of it all makes me want to watch it again and again.
Now I'm gonna get obnoxious:
My list o' cool things in the movie! ... pretty much ruins the whole movie if you haven't watched it. So go watch it :D (Honestly, it's on YouTube, has been circulating online for weeks, and it's in the stores. Hard to miss it.)
00:10 Badass DC intro
00:48 Hello, Sarajevo
01:05 Hello, Robin. OH THIS SCENE.
01:24 Breathing Jason in pain. JFC.
02:11 Jason, you punk, ILU.
02:25 Anime eyes
03:25 More anime eyes.
03:50 Where Jason proceeds to drag himself across the floor. It kind of hits me - so, Batman is this symbol of strength born out of moments of vulnerability that never stops fighting. So is Jason's Robin Bruce's Batman? Does Robin serve the same purpose for Batman that Batman serves for Robin? I kind of think so.
05:11 Okay, I forgive Robin's change of costume for thematic reasons. I get it. Fine, fine.
05:20 GORGEOUS title sequence of gothic perfection. Also, music, yes yes.
07:20 Hello, Gotham.
08:06 Hello, Jensen. Bitter growl, rowr.
11:40 Exposition, hahaha. I can guess who's gonna show up next...
12:02 Hello, Dick!!! Little woosh sounds when you leap, hooray!
12:28 More exposition, hahaha.
12:46 Random slo mo, FTW
16:02 Chevelle
18:00 Red Hood speech o' irony. Jensen sarcasm voice, woo.
19:44 Stir that cocoa, Nightwing.
21:00 Motorcycle fetish and big boy pants
23:36 "Yes, Batman likes to keep things." The Black Mask scenes are HILARIOUS. Not a dull moment, Winick.
25:43 Nightwing keeps a staple gun on him?? Parkour chase scene! They all leap differently *swoon*
29:27 "I'm chatty - it's part of my charm." YES YES IT IS.
30:01 "Thank you." Guilty much, Bruce?
30:33 "your touch" THIS. LOLOLOLOL. Sorry, I'm twelve.
31:08 GIGGLY BABY ROBIN. Could your voice be any higher? You're so cute I'm gonna die.
32:17 CLAVICLE. Um, I mean, collarbone. Classic Jason.
34:22 "The Rusty Nail"???
37:30 Dramatic entrance + "Shut up and fight"
38:50 "I gotta say, I missed watching you work." - 2nd most slashy line in the movie
40:23 After a battle with mechanized assassins and a guy in a batsuit, Jason's surprised by empathy?? This gets me every time.
41:25 Uh oh, you've upset Alfred. Now you're gonna get it!
42:35 "Or... it's something else. Can't you feel it?" Um, YEAH. UST.
45:23 Another gratuitous crowbar shot. And... latex body dummies.
48:16 "What did you do. to. Jason?" Badass.
52:43 GAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHAAAAAAAAAAT MUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMY (bonus Lazarus puke, FTW)
53:27 Shakespearean dialogue of guilt and irony.
54:16 Bonus juvie!Jason
57:54 Bat splooge
59:28 More bonus crowbar! Hehehe, it's like Dean torturing Alastair! Awwwww.
1:00:15 FLASHBACK OMG! Bruce/Jason revolves around ironic automotive tools. Fight in the rain fight in the rain!
1:02:10 Cowl porn
1:04:30 Fighting instead of fucking in a dirty bathroom.
1:05:10 "I... I'm trying to save you now."
1:07:06 "I'm talking about him, just him. And doing it because, because he took me away from you." - Slashiest line in movie. Even Joker sees it.
1:07:50 And Jensen starts crying.... here.
1:08:35 "I'm Batman" SPN moment
1:08:55 "You managed to find a way to win, and everybody still loses!" Man, I love that line. So fucking cruel. This is totally ending like the Dean/Alastair scene. Does that mean Batman is Castiel? Yikes, it kind of does. They are both equally non-effective when it matters.
1:10:17 Does Dick even know!?! WTF!
1:11:08 Bruce you stubborn fucker.
1:11:30 PRIMPING
1:11:43 Ok, Bruce, I forgive you, with your drinking of the cocoa and your raising of the eyebrow.
1:12:11 ROBIN YOU MURDER MEEEEEEEE WITH YOUR TRAGICALLY IRONIC HAPPINESS. It's like "A Great Day for Everyone" in comic form, while the rest of this movie is like "A Death in the Family" and "Under the Hood" - and there you have my three favorites.
1:12:15 Appropriate sad and rainy end title sequence. The end.
I made this list of reasons I 'ship Bruce/Jason while Jason was Robin. The intended recipient should be tired of listening by now if she isn't already, so I'll share my obnoxiousness with everyone:
Reasons for Robin-era Bruce/Jason:
1. Bruce doesn't fall in love or lose control, but he does for Jason. That is why it's hot. Jason's youth and beauty give him a surprising amount of power over Bruce and that is also hot.
2. In return, Jason often ignores Bruce's attempts to control him, but not always. No one controls Jason, but Bruce sometimes does, and that is also hot.
3. Jason is the anti-Dick. And Bruce has at least a decade of sexual repression under his belt. And a major Robin fetish.
4. Jason is practiced in sexual manipulation. But Bruce can still surprise him.
5. Jason thinks he is a top. But Bruce can still surprise him.
6. Jason and Bruce speak in a physical, sexual language and suck at communicating in any other way. They have sex to get through to one another.
7. Bruce is used to being the most beautiful, troubled person in the room. Unless Jason is there.
8. The Robin-is-a-magical-path-to-maturity thing is actually true. Beating up on men twice your size and psycho killers and saving Bruce's life a billion times allows for the perks of fucking your boss.
9. Unlike Dick, Jason would find other people to be fucking if he wasn't fucking Bruce. In fact, sometimes he fucks other people anyway. Bruce knows this.
10. Bruce and Jason don't even have to fuck. It's heteronormative anyway. Imagine lots of rolling around and wrestling, post-patrol blowjobs, cuddling in bed, hand jobs in the car, lots of making out while they're gaining each other's trust and learning how to live together 24/7.
11. So Bruce gets out of a long-term relationship with his first Robin, and there's all this stuff he doesn't touch with a ten-foot pole. And Jason has this fucked-up childhood full of stuff he doesn't touch with a ten-foot pole. They are both incredibly gifted with denial, and gifted with the urge to fuck away their problems.
12. Bruce needs to rescue his Robins. He gives them what they need. Jason needs Bruce.
13. Being with Jason would be wrong in Bruce's eyes, but it still beats being with Dick in the level of fucked-up-ness. If Bruce only thought of it in terms of his own world, it would logically make sense. It's like choosing a second Robin in the first place - by all accounts a bad idea, but he'll never say no. Bruce learned certain lessons as a child and the results of those lessons can at best be called ambiguous.
14. Brucie loves Jay. Jay loves Brucie. But they can be childish and insecure and emotionally stunted and vindictive. Still, it takes one to know one.
15. They save lives. They save each other. They know life is fleeting and temporary and short, even before they die. Again.
16. Giving in to each other makes them stronger.
Look! A fanart tribute !!!
Thanks to everyone who sends me Robin spam - rubynye and xxamlaxx and moodswingers (who is an expert at it). OMG YOU MAKE MY DAY ♥ ♥ ♥
/squee