thursday
Trying to work up a thanksgiving holiday feeling. Woke up at 3 am. I think I'll stay up. I got most the housecleaning I wanted to do done yesterday. This morning I need to prepare foods. People are coming at noon. Not that many people - in all, just 7 of us. I'm just not a holiday "party" social person. When I make this about the food I just think it's all so stupid. Though I do like to eat the foods I'm making, and probably at least a few of them I wouldn't be making unless it was a holiday meal. Waldorf salad, and another salad - lettuce salad with extra stuff like mushrooms, tomatoes, cucumbers, sunflower seeds. Mashed potatoes, gravy. Green beans. Jules is making vegan turkey cutlets. Dave made a real turkey. Apple pie and pumpkin pie. That's enough!
*****
I've been in denial about my eye issues. Just focusing on the upcoming cataract surgery and wanting to believe the other stuff isn't important. When I was consulting about the cataract surgery I learned I have something called Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy. I finally got online and looked into it deeply this morning. A lot of the time I feel like I have something in my eye. This morning when I woke up especially (that's why I finally looked it up). Very irritating. Feels like there is an eye lash in there. That is probably the map dot stuff. Or it might be the Fuchs’ Dystrophy - that causes irritation too. I just want to hide my head in the sand (would sand be more or less irritating?) and forget all this!
*****
I wish I had a picture to show. I like writing here better when I do.
Today's drawing seems better in black and white. Maybe I should try and see my whole life in black and white right now. Good and bad. There is so much good. Loved ones are coming over. I can "see". I can do the things I love to do - hike, crochet, weave, play piano, eat (!), draw, listen and talk in small conversations. The bad is pretty minimal and really not important right at this moment.
*****
I've been in denial about my eye issues. Just focusing on the upcoming cataract surgery and wanting to believe the other stuff isn't important. When I was consulting about the cataract surgery I learned I have something called Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy. I finally got online and looked into it deeply this morning. A lot of the time I feel like I have something in my eye. This morning when I woke up especially (that's why I finally looked it up). Very irritating. Feels like there is an eye lash in there. That is probably the map dot stuff. Or it might be the Fuchs’ Dystrophy - that causes irritation too. I just want to hide my head in the sand (would sand be more or less irritating?) and forget all this!
*****
I wish I had a picture to show. I like writing here better when I do.
Today's drawing seems better in black and white. Maybe I should try and see my whole life in black and white right now. Good and bad. There is so much good. Loved ones are coming over. I can "see". I can do the things I love to do - hike, crochet, weave, play piano, eat (!), draw, listen and talk in small conversations. The bad is pretty minimal and really not important right at this moment.