my love affair with dots
I think I've always loved dots. And mandala type designs. I can remember in school drawing mandalas with a crow quill pen and black ink - each successive ring a different little shape unfolding, flowering. My most common doodles are circles with new shapes growing out from them in rings. When I was 16 and started to do psychedelic drugs my most favorite thing to do was to stare at something until it broke into dots and then the dots would start marching forward in lines and swirls. How I wish I was capable of doing that without drugs! Sometimes I dream that the night sky stars are connected by dots and they are forming new constellations and moving. When it happens it's always awesome and amazing. I remember my first toy kaleidoscope when I was very little and how much I loved seeing the mandalas changing and reforming into new designs. Even crochet rounds are mandalas! I'm sure this is something interior to me but when I see other people's mandalas they are a bit dull compared to my own. I know that this is not because mine are "better" somehow. It is because mine are mine. They came out of my brain. They match my brain. When I'm working on these dot mandalas I need to leave them so the paint can dry, or because I don't know yet what will be next. But I can't wait to come back the next time to see what will appear on them. It's like psychedelics in very slow motion.