sunday
I spent most of the day yesterday piecing the April Squares throw (lap robe) together. This morning I can see that it needs a border. I'm going to choose red for that. I wanted to find out the date when I started the throw by looking into the external hard drive where I had saved everything on my laptop before I sent it away. Came to find out that I didn't save anything recent on that hard drive. The last time something was actually saved on it was November of 2019. 2 years of computering are gone. That was a disappointment. I won't know how disappointing it really is till later when I look for another thing that isn't there, and then another thing that isn't there, etc. All the future disappointments waiting for me. Luckily I could find out when I started crocheting the throw by another method. Looked it up on LJ. I started in on November 19 - it has only been a month that I've worked on it. Throws are much quicker than blankets to make.
The thing that makes losing all this stuff on the computer not feel so bad to me is that I think soon it won't matter anyway. When I'm gone it won't matter AT ALL. It's just a part of letting go. In this case some of the losing is preceded me, but so what? In 20 years I can be pretty sure it won't matter to anyone at all. Right now it only matters to me. My computer is a slice of my world. I do share bits of it here on LJ. Thank goodness. Fragments. I save all the pictures I take on their SD cards and I have all of the cards still - the pictures do exist in that form. But they don't exist in the form they took after I worked on (improved) them anymore.
It all makes me think about how important it is to Live In The Moment. That is the only thing that can not be taken away from me. It takes itself away by its own nature. The only way to possess it is by BEING there for it.
Enough philosophizing.
Today's plans: put a red border on the throw. Piano practice - now there is a thing that is a Live In The Moment experience! I wouldn't want to save the sounds that I make on the piano anyway. They only sound good to my ears as I am making them. And I want to look up some jewelry making supplies that I can gift to Alison. She is doing really great with making wire wrapped jewelry - even sold her first item on etsy yesterday. Here's her shop: AshenLabs.