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The bee sting is better but now I have a cold. Disappointing cause I just had one the beginning of June. I feel like I should have built up better resistance to that virus to keep me safe for at least another year. Not in the mood to do much at all. Puttering around and getting the usual chores done and trying to do something productive too. On Monday Candy gave me two fossil ammonite stones that she bought last time we visited the Appalachian Rock Shop in Zelinople. She wants me to make matching pendants for her son Tom and her. A nice idea. It's good that I have these commissions or I probably wouldn't do anything at all. Sometimes it's worrisome to me that I am so satisfied to not be artistically creative. I used to have ideas flooding my mind constantly and that seems to have dried up somehow. Was it the cancer last year? Taking the meds for the afib? Just getting older? I fear it is the beginning of senile dementia like my mom had. I used to picture myself being creative till the very end. Kathy tells about an artist friend of hers who lived into her 90's and was painting tiny watercolors in her bed just days before she died. I thought I would be like that. Now I don't know. I used to define my worth by how creative I was, how much I produced. I feel worthless by my old standards. Every once in a while I have stirrings of creativity. Ideas come to me. Last night I lay in bed, feeling sick but I had some ideas of things I would like to make from clay when I get over this cold and can tackle the big job of getting down to clear space in the basement again. Ceramic things to hang on the wall - there are enough objects in this world that take up table and shelf space. I want to get back to making the mosaic back splash for Chloe and Mike's sink too. I got the base for that started - just need to continue with that.
I have been watching some TV while not feeling well. Orphan Black. At first I didn't mind if I missed episodes of that. I mainly got it for Dave but as it went on it got more and more interesting to me. We are binge watching the last 2 seasons now and I can't wait till the next disc gets here.
It seems like it should be enough to cook meals, keep the kitchen and house clean, walk or bike with friends, be diligent with house training Rainy, enjoy and take care of the pets and chickens, pass time crocheting and reading, listen to music - write my thoughts now and then. But there is still that little voice nagging at me that I should do more. Maybe it is actually telling me to EXPRESS myself more.
I have been watching some TV while not feeling well. Orphan Black. At first I didn't mind if I missed episodes of that. I mainly got it for Dave but as it went on it got more and more interesting to me. We are binge watching the last 2 seasons now and I can't wait till the next disc gets here.
It seems like it should be enough to cook meals, keep the kitchen and house clean, walk or bike with friends, be diligent with house training Rainy, enjoy and take care of the pets and chickens, pass time crocheting and reading, listen to music - write my thoughts now and then. But there is still that little voice nagging at me that I should do more. Maybe it is actually telling me to EXPRESS myself more.