don't laugh
I feel like this can mean me - don't laugh that I want to be a hiker and outdoors person - that I dream of walking something like the Appalachian Trail. I feel like I am a little roly-poly - short legs, old, overweight, with bunions, a complainer when things get hard. I'm impressed with myself if I walk 4 or 5 miles while others are RUNNING 10 miles and much farther. I'm concerned about this hike I'm going on tomorrow with the North Country Trail Clarion Chapter folks. It is 6 miles - the first section of what will be a year long goal of hiking the entire 85 miles of the North Country Trail that passes through Clarion County. I know I will do it (even if it KILLS me - just kidding) but can I do it without complaining? And I will be meeting a bunch of new people tomorrow (another fearful thing for me) but thank goodness Dave is going too - he is friendly and outgoing and maybe no one will notice me.
One part of me realizes that I am the one that is so hard on me. No one else is thinking these thoughts about me. I notice at Gabe's high school swim meets that they cheer on the slow, overweight kids too. Yeah, the cheering gets very loud when the fast ones are battling it out and are neck and neck but when they get done and and there is only the slow guys giving it all they've got there is cheering too. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes as I watch them. No one is laughing at them for trying and doing their best to get better.
One part of me realizes that I am the one that is so hard on me. No one else is thinking these thoughts about me. I notice at Gabe's high school swim meets that they cheer on the slow, overweight kids too. Yeah, the cheering gets very loud when the fast ones are battling it out and are neck and neck but when they get done and and there is only the slow guys giving it all they've got there is cheering too. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes as I watch them. No one is laughing at them for trying and doing their best to get better.