Bill and the Band of Monkeys
I'm afraid it's been a FRUSTRATING day. So I wrote this little scenario about what Bill Adama might be doing by himself, for all the rest of his days. I was disappointed in the finale, and much of 4.5. Some of that may be reflected in my interpretation of Bill's future without Laura. Credit for the phrase "band of monkeys" goes to zaleti. Thanks, dear!
Rated: M (for gun toting monkeys and irreverent treatment of Roslin's wig)
Warning: Character Death
Bill Adama: Woe to the brokenhearted. I must wander up mountain sides and across death valleys, until the great-Goddess-Mother-Nature gives a sign that I am forgiven for my sins. Perhaps a lightning bolt will strike me, or my monstrous prodigies will chase me to the ends of the universe.
Bill Adama: [Dramatic pause. Thoughtfully caresses the-mustache-of-doom]: Funny thing, that bit about being "chased to the end of the universe." Has any of that happened before? Well, I know I deserve it, for you cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore. Those monstrous prodigies are sure to get me some day soon. When that day comes, it will be a sign from the gods, and I will be forgiven at last.
[Enter tribe of wild monkeys, crossing a frozen lake, pulled by a dog sled, with guns stolen from Baltar]
Monkeys: Oooh! Hooo! *bang* *bang*
Bill Adama: [gasps]: It's a sign! I am forgiven! Laura, my love, we can be together at last! [clasps The Last Remains of Laura Roslin to his wounded chest, and breathes no more]
Monkey 1 [clamors up to the corpse and looks at hairy object clasped to Adama's chest]: Ooooh? Hooooo?
Monkey 2 [snatches the object away, beating on chest while crying]: Ah-wah-ha-ha-awaha-a!
Monkey 1 [pouts and raises the gun]: *bang* *bang* Ma-Mah-bwahahahahah!
Monkey 2 [draws her last breath]: What am I? A ghost? A machine? Now we'll never know. [With a *pop*, vanishes into thin air]
Monkey 1 [places hairy object on head]: Me. Pretty. [Fluffs the hair on the Last/First wig in the universe]
Rated: M (for gun toting monkeys and irreverent treatment of Roslin's wig)
Warning: Character Death
Bill Adama: Woe to the brokenhearted. I must wander up mountain sides and across death valleys, until the great-Goddess-Mother-Nature gives a sign that I am forgiven for my sins. Perhaps a lightning bolt will strike me, or my monstrous prodigies will chase me to the ends of the universe.
Bill Adama: [Dramatic pause. Thoughtfully caresses the-mustache-of-doom]: Funny thing, that bit about being "chased to the end of the universe." Has any of that happened before? Well, I know I deserve it, for you cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore. Those monstrous prodigies are sure to get me some day soon. When that day comes, it will be a sign from the gods, and I will be forgiven at last.
[Enter tribe of wild monkeys, crossing a frozen lake, pulled by a dog sled, with guns stolen from Baltar]
Monkeys: Oooh! Hooo! *bang* *bang*
Bill Adama: [gasps]: It's a sign! I am forgiven! Laura, my love, we can be together at last! [clasps The Last Remains of Laura Roslin to his wounded chest, and breathes no more]
Monkey 1 [clamors up to the corpse and looks at hairy object clasped to Adama's chest]: Ooooh? Hooooo?
Monkey 2 [snatches the object away, beating on chest while crying]: Ah-wah-ha-ha-awaha-a!
Monkey 1 [pouts and raises the gun]: *bang* *bang* Ma-Mah-bwahahahahah!
Monkey 2 [draws her last breath]: What am I? A ghost? A machine? Now we'll never know. [With a *pop*, vanishes into thin air]
Monkey 1 [places hairy object on head]: Me. Pretty. [Fluffs the hair on the Last/First wig in the universe]