The Fox's Cradle Chapter 2 Part 1
So sorry I didn't update yesterday! Was dying after an 8-hour meeting OTL
[She is simply another living thing that needs my care.]In the past 3 years, out of all the long conversations I had with Yunho, the best would be when we were shopping together, choosing furniture and decorations diligently. What should we buy, where should we put this? We would have adorable little squabbles over such mundane things. I do love shopping a lot after all, even if it weren't for this.
"How about this?"
She shook her head shamelessly.
"This?"
"Mm!"
That finally pleased her, and she quickly took back her unhappy expression and hugged her father tightly around his neck. Jung Yunho's face practically screamed that he was fine with anything as long as his daughter likes it. The color of this blanket didn't even match the decorations in our house! But my protests fell upon deaf ears, and I couldn't help throwing looks of hatred at the back of his handsome head - even my one and only pastime had disappeared. From then on, he'd buy everything according to A-hyun's wishes on our shopping trips.
He kept picking out all the things that she likes. Even when I told him that I was hungry, he shrugged it off with a "We'll eat in a moment, okay?", pretending that he's concerned about me. Though I'm sure he didn't mean it, everything that Jung Yunho did became a thorn in my eye. He's not even trying to pretend anymore, showing his real emotions like a child. His eyes were constantly trained on little A-hyun, and he looked as though he loved her so much that he didn't know what to do with her. It was totally different from the loving stares he gave me. I guess you could call it a contented and relieved look? Either ways, it's definitely love.
He continued to interact with the child with those soft glances, patting her head as he spoke.
"I suppose we'll have to move house after a while. Jaejoong ah, where shall we live then?"
"Is there a need to do so?"
Though our hands were filled with shopping bags, I still looked through all the things that we bought when we reached the restaurant. Most of it were for preparing for the approaching summer, like summer dresses. Even his taste in clothes got better for the sake of his child - all the dresses he picked out were lovely. And most importantly, the designs suited her a lot, unlike the one I ripped apart that day.
The child grew up happy and healthy, a life borne from a body that I had tormented physically and emotionally, a life that fed not on her mother's milk but my man's love like a little monster. And now, she's standing right before my eyes, and I could scarcely believe it.
"What, Jaejoong...?"
"Mm..."
"Angry?"
"No."
This complicated feeling can't be described using 'angry'. Perhaps the only word that's close enough would be 'melancholy'. Her unintentional gazes wounded me each time; such a pathetic, fragile heart I have.
"I'm just a little worn out."
He said nothing. This excuse that's nothing like a proper excuse only made my heart heavier, so I decided that I would stop all this nonsense. I won't cling to his arms and whine to him like a poor kid anymore, and I will be more mature so that he wouldn't need to worry about me. But I'm so fragile now, so I still need to prepare myself mentally first.
"It'll get better when you're used to it. Sorry, it's my fault for bringing her along."
It's alright if that's what he thinks. This is a sort of self-reflection and repentance for me. I admitted that I was jealous so I lowered my head, but he reached out a hand and lifted my chin. Holding my face, he ran a finger across my cheek as if he was wiping off a tear, smiling at me gently.
"Come, kiss me."
Even though he had been holding A-hyun's hand throughout our shopping trip, he let go of her then to pull at my arm. I hesitated a little before moving slowly across the table to him. As to my unusual behaviour, he seemed a little dissatisfied, and he pulled me into his lap with more force than usual.
From the start, public stares were never a problem to us. It's family dinner time now, and in this crowded space I wrapped my hands around his neck while he held my face, our tongues entangled furiously together. For an instant, my mind went completely blank as I immersed myself in the moment, enjoying every bit of it. Though A-hyun may be traumatized since its her first time watching her father kiss her new mother, who was obviously male, I didn't care about that at all. I desperately needed his breath to comfort me, because I'm fragile that way. If only his lap was my world, and I could eat and sleep and make love in that small narrow heaven. Moments like these, topped off with some sweet-nothings, and I could die with no regrets.
"You don't know how happy your words made me..."
"As long as you like it, I'll like it too..."
"You don't know, Jaejoong ah, you have no idea how cute you've been recently..."
"Love me, show me all your love now..."
"Then I'd have no body left..."
"Even then, that's okay... I can die with no regrets now. I'd never dreamt that one day I would be living with you like this, so I feel really blessed right now. Really, Yunho... A-hyun is your daughter, so I'll be fine. She's my beloved Yunho's daughter, so it's my duty to care for her too..."
"My Jaejoong ah, why are you so beautiful..."
He's praising me right now. Yes, that's right, don't think of anything else but me. We've been wounded far too much until now, and finally it's just the two of us with nothing keeping us apart, nothing to stop us from being with each other until death do us part. Some day, some where, some time ago, we once swore that we'd be together forever, even on the crossroad of love. That's why, we don't need to fear for our future anymore now.
A-hyun's food was served then, and I still hadn't returned to my seat, sitting on Yunho's lap instead. The waitress glared at me coldly, but I took it in my stride and thew her a flippant look which seemed to irk her. Right after serving us our food, she disappeared quickly, and uttered something under her breath as she did, which roused my curiosity. I laughed to myself all of a sudden.
He carved up A-hyun's steak into small, bite-sized pieces, but it seemed a little awkward as I was like an obstruction. However, he said nothing - he's refusing to let go of both of us, the child and I.
Watching him feed A-hyun, I started occupying his mouth again, and my man didn't object to it. Once we stopped kissing, he fed the child some potatoes, and then we continued. This went on until A-hyun said that she was full, and then we just went on kissing. Useless food, no matter how many times you eat them, will still be useless. I pursed my lips and looked at the child in pity. I was worried that our unconcealed displays of affection would hurt the child. From now, you'll see less of your father until you can no longer see his face anymore. Got that?
I raised my head a little higher unconsciously. This is not a feeling of superiority - the child isn't even a threat to me! She is simply another living thing that needs my care.
[She is simply another living thing that needs my care.]In the past 3 years, out of all the long conversations I had with Yunho, the best would be when we were shopping together, choosing furniture and decorations diligently. What should we buy, where should we put this? We would have adorable little squabbles over such mundane things. I do love shopping a lot after all, even if it weren't for this.
"How about this?"
She shook her head shamelessly.
"This?"
"Mm!"
That finally pleased her, and she quickly took back her unhappy expression and hugged her father tightly around his neck. Jung Yunho's face practically screamed that he was fine with anything as long as his daughter likes it. The color of this blanket didn't even match the decorations in our house! But my protests fell upon deaf ears, and I couldn't help throwing looks of hatred at the back of his handsome head - even my one and only pastime had disappeared. From then on, he'd buy everything according to A-hyun's wishes on our shopping trips.
He kept picking out all the things that she likes. Even when I told him that I was hungry, he shrugged it off with a "We'll eat in a moment, okay?", pretending that he's concerned about me. Though I'm sure he didn't mean it, everything that Jung Yunho did became a thorn in my eye. He's not even trying to pretend anymore, showing his real emotions like a child. His eyes were constantly trained on little A-hyun, and he looked as though he loved her so much that he didn't know what to do with her. It was totally different from the loving stares he gave me. I guess you could call it a contented and relieved look? Either ways, it's definitely love.
He continued to interact with the child with those soft glances, patting her head as he spoke.
"I suppose we'll have to move house after a while. Jaejoong ah, where shall we live then?"
"Is there a need to do so?"
Though our hands were filled with shopping bags, I still looked through all the things that we bought when we reached the restaurant. Most of it were for preparing for the approaching summer, like summer dresses. Even his taste in clothes got better for the sake of his child - all the dresses he picked out were lovely. And most importantly, the designs suited her a lot, unlike the one I ripped apart that day.
The child grew up happy and healthy, a life borne from a body that I had tormented physically and emotionally, a life that fed not on her mother's milk but my man's love like a little monster. And now, she's standing right before my eyes, and I could scarcely believe it.
"What, Jaejoong...?"
"Mm..."
"Angry?"
"No."
This complicated feeling can't be described using 'angry'. Perhaps the only word that's close enough would be 'melancholy'. Her unintentional gazes wounded me each time; such a pathetic, fragile heart I have.
"I'm just a little worn out."
He said nothing. This excuse that's nothing like a proper excuse only made my heart heavier, so I decided that I would stop all this nonsense. I won't cling to his arms and whine to him like a poor kid anymore, and I will be more mature so that he wouldn't need to worry about me. But I'm so fragile now, so I still need to prepare myself mentally first.
"It'll get better when you're used to it. Sorry, it's my fault for bringing her along."
It's alright if that's what he thinks. This is a sort of self-reflection and repentance for me. I admitted that I was jealous so I lowered my head, but he reached out a hand and lifted my chin. Holding my face, he ran a finger across my cheek as if he was wiping off a tear, smiling at me gently.
"Come, kiss me."
Even though he had been holding A-hyun's hand throughout our shopping trip, he let go of her then to pull at my arm. I hesitated a little before moving slowly across the table to him. As to my unusual behaviour, he seemed a little dissatisfied, and he pulled me into his lap with more force than usual.
From the start, public stares were never a problem to us. It's family dinner time now, and in this crowded space I wrapped my hands around his neck while he held my face, our tongues entangled furiously together. For an instant, my mind went completely blank as I immersed myself in the moment, enjoying every bit of it. Though A-hyun may be traumatized since its her first time watching her father kiss her new mother, who was obviously male, I didn't care about that at all. I desperately needed his breath to comfort me, because I'm fragile that way. If only his lap was my world, and I could eat and sleep and make love in that small narrow heaven. Moments like these, topped off with some sweet-nothings, and I could die with no regrets.
"You don't know how happy your words made me..."
"As long as you like it, I'll like it too..."
"You don't know, Jaejoong ah, you have no idea how cute you've been recently..."
"Love me, show me all your love now..."
"Then I'd have no body left..."
"Even then, that's okay... I can die with no regrets now. I'd never dreamt that one day I would be living with you like this, so I feel really blessed right now. Really, Yunho... A-hyun is your daughter, so I'll be fine. She's my beloved Yunho's daughter, so it's my duty to care for her too..."
"My Jaejoong ah, why are you so beautiful..."
He's praising me right now. Yes, that's right, don't think of anything else but me. We've been wounded far too much until now, and finally it's just the two of us with nothing keeping us apart, nothing to stop us from being with each other until death do us part. Some day, some where, some time ago, we once swore that we'd be together forever, even on the crossroad of love. That's why, we don't need to fear for our future anymore now.
A-hyun's food was served then, and I still hadn't returned to my seat, sitting on Yunho's lap instead. The waitress glared at me coldly, but I took it in my stride and thew her a flippant look which seemed to irk her. Right after serving us our food, she disappeared quickly, and uttered something under her breath as she did, which roused my curiosity. I laughed to myself all of a sudden.
He carved up A-hyun's steak into small, bite-sized pieces, but it seemed a little awkward as I was like an obstruction. However, he said nothing - he's refusing to let go of both of us, the child and I.
Watching him feed A-hyun, I started occupying his mouth again, and my man didn't object to it. Once we stopped kissing, he fed the child some potatoes, and then we continued. This went on until A-hyun said that she was full, and then we just went on kissing. Useless food, no matter how many times you eat them, will still be useless. I pursed my lips and looked at the child in pity. I was worried that our unconcealed displays of affection would hurt the child. From now, you'll see less of your father until you can no longer see his face anymore. Got that?
I raised my head a little higher unconsciously. This is not a feeling of superiority - the child isn't even a threat to me! She is simply another living thing that needs my care.