Death Becomes Her
Author: Regency
Title: Death Becomes Her
Pairing: Jed/Abbey; Jed/Other
Rating: TEEN(PG-13) at the absolute worst
Warning: Character death; Kleenex warning
Summary: Six years after their divorce, Jed invites Abbey to recuperate at his home after she is diagnosed with cancer.
Author’s Notes: I just fell in love with the phrase Death Becomes Her from the movie of the same name. However, this story is nothing like that.
Disclaimer: I only own Susan and Kennedy and Zane. Abbey and Jed are the pure genius of Aaron Sorkin.
JAJAJAJA
Abbey trudged tiredly down the stairs from the plane. There several black clad men waiting for her at the landing, but it was another man altogether that stood out. She had to blink a few times and take off her sunglasses to double check, but it was him. It was definitely him.
He was wearing a Notre Dame sweatshirt and jeans, but it was his hair that stopped her cold. It was white, completely white with soft touches of silver-gray. And it looked good on him. Even at this distance, she could see his eyes glowing blue in conjunction with his healthy tan. He had not only failed to age a day, but he looked younger than he’d looked in all of their later years together. She guessed, a younger woman would do that to a man. Apparently, Susan had done it to him.
She pasted on a cordial smile and approached him, familiar black brigade closing in and merging around them.
“Hello, Jed.” He grinned at her and opened his arms to her without hesitation. She fell into them happily. He enclosed her in his arms and rocked her side to side. She felt safe again and alive. Alive for the first time in so long.
He opened the door for her himself, and called out to his significant other of five years, Susan. Abbey replaced the smile on her face and readied herself to schmooze. She hoped the woman wasn’t too horrible.
A tall woman stepped out of the front room to meet them with a wide grin and a sweet demeanor. Abbey wanted to hate her so much, but there simply wasn’t anything to hate about her. She was sweet, but not too sweet. Abbey guessed that came from her many years working as a Secret Service Agent on her husband’s detail. She felt her neck burning red with long-repressed resentment. She’d been on his detail for years, but he only noticed her after they’d separated. Abbey wanted to believe that, but even she, with infinite trust in her former husband, had a hard time with that one. She smiled warmly, anyway.
“Welcome to our home.”
“Thank you for having me. Still, are you sure it’s not too much trouble?” Susan shook her head.
“Oh no, we’re glad to have you. Jed, you want to show her to her room?” He nodded and they kissed briefly before Jed preceded Abbey up the stairs to the second floor of their home.
It was a beautiful place, a villa. Abbey would have loved to live there herself, but she was just visiting. That was the plan anyway.
He pushed the door open and set her bags on top of the trunk at the end of the bed. “Well, this is your room. I hope it’s okay.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited for her to appraise the room.
“Oh, it’s beautiful. Are you sure this is my room? It can’t be.” He grinned at her awed reaction as she walked around and picked up the various seashells and antiques placed about the room. He’d designed this one himself. “Did you decorate this room?”
“Yeah.”
“You did a great job.”
“Thank you.” She turned around to look at him. He looked good in the sunlight pouring in from the outside.
“It’s good to see you, Jed.”
“You, too, Abbey.” Their eyes stayed locked for a moment before his slipped away to the door. “You’re probably tired from the flight. I’ll let you rest for a while. We normally eat at 7, but we’re going eat a bit later, because the boys are visiting their grandparents and won’t be back until at least 8. I’ll send one of them up to wake you when dinner’s ready.” She nodded.
“Thank you. I look forward to meeting them. I bet they’re adorable.”
“They are.” He beamed with pride. “The girls?”
“They’re good. They told me that you’ve spoken.”
“Yeah.”
“Why ask then?”
“I wasn’t sure if you knew we’d spoken.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll unpack.”
“Yeah.”
He got to the door before her voice stopped him. “I promise I won’t stay too long.” He turned back around to look at her.
“Why?” She looked down to the suitcase she was unpacking.
“Because I know it wasn’t your idea to invite me. It was Susan’s. I’m not going to ruin your new life. I’ll stay as long as I think is prudent, then I’ll go back to New Hampshire.”
“You’ll do no such thing.” Her head jerked up so that she could see him.
“What?”
“Susan and I were in agreement to you coming here. You’re not here against anybody’s wishes. If I hadn’t wanted you here, you wouldn’t be here. I wanted you here, because you’re sick and I want you to be well. This is a home and you can heal in a home. Contrary to popular belief, there is always love, even after the marriage is over and my heart wouldn’t let me let you be alone. That’s why you’re here.” She nodded and sat down on the bed. “Will you stay?”
“Until I’m well?”
“As long as you want.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll be outside on the terrace. The second-floor one, not the first. We don’t spend much time on the first-floor one, so if you want to be alone, that’s a good place to go. The library is at the end of the hall; Susan and I are at the other end. The boys are between us on the right. The room across from that one is empty.” Her brow furrowed.
“Why?”
“For when they get older and want their own rooms. One of them can go, so that we can have peace in this house.”
“Have everything planned out, huh?”
“Not really, but enough.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll send the boys.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Sleep well.”
“I will.” He closed the door behind him. She smiled at his back. He was a good man. She didn’t regret a moment they’d spent together. Though she did regret every one they’d spent apart. She wouldn’t stay long. Really.
wwww
A loud banging sound roused Abbey from her sleep. She raised her head up from the fluffy pillow to see what was going on. Someone was knocking at the door. She pushed a curl behind her ear and wiped her face. She sat up and called out.
“Hello.” Two little heads poked in, one on top of the other. They looked (up and down) at each other before looking back at her. They didn’t look too much like Jed, but their demeanor screamed Bartlet through and through. “Hello. What are your names?” They shuffled inside, notably leaving the door agape.
They looked at each other again, each daring the other to go first. The one with blue eyes stepped forward and stood up straight.
“My name’s Zane and dis is my brother, Kennedy.”
“Hello, Zane, hello Kennedy.”
“Hi,” they both said in unison.
“I’m Abbey.”
“Can we call you Abbey?”
“Sure.”
“You can call us Zane and Kennedy.”
“Okay, Zane and Kennedy.” They grinned and she knew she was talking to Bartlet’s. Did that make them her stepchildren?
“It’s dinnertime.”
She put both of her hands out to them. “Good, then. Could you show me the way? I might get lost.” They took her hands and lead her down the stairs. She made them feel like big boys. They made her feel at home.
wwww
She smiled and laughed so much during dinner that her face and throat were sore until the next morning. It was a family affair. She couldn’t remember what if felt like to be apart of a family affair. It felt good. Susan was perfect as far as she could tell. She and Jed were good together, they had that chemistry. She wondered if she and Jed had ever had that? She couldn’t remember.
She’d tried to help with the cleanup, but she’d been quickly shooed out of the kitchen by Perfect Susan. Though, there was no good reason for it, she hated that woman with the passion only a still-slightly-smitten ex-wife could possess. Sometimes, she hated herself for being the way she was. You love them forever, they say. Even after it ends. Jed said it, too. She guessed that made it true. She sat on the gorgeous couch in the family room and watched the boys play in front of the fireplace, which was blazing. She still felt a chill deep in her bones and she shivered. The pupils of her eyes began to dilate and there was a sharp crackling behind her eyes. She blinked hard to shake away the coming seizure. She had to get away from the boys. The last things she wanted to do was to scare them, but she couldn’t find the strength to stand, much less the strength to go anywhere. Her fingers flexed on the armrest and her body began to tense like a hard board.
Her wrists began to jerk painfully, as did every joint in her body until she felt a near fatal drop in altitude. She heard the sharp cries of the two boys that had recently become her friends as they ran away in what she thought was fear, but was really concern.
Two arms slid around her and lay her flat on the carpeted floor. She was thankful for the anchor to reality. She gasped and jerked and finally fell completely unconscious. Jed held her there until her breathing eased before gathering her up like a baby and carrying her upstairs to bed. She was lighter than she’d ever been.
Death does that to you.
wwww
She woke up later that evening, nestled in the familiar embrace of Jed’s sweatshirt. A hand rested on her forehead and a body, no, two bodies shifted on the bed around her. Wait…three bodies. She smiled a little to herself. She was pretty certain that she could account for every one of them, too. Jed on her right, and twins on the free sides. She cracked her eyes. Jed on her left and the twins everywhere else. Ah, close enough.
A gentle hand came to rest on her forehead and she groaned at how hot it seemed. “You’re hot.” She was almost too sick to comment, but…
“Ain’t I though?” He rolled his eyes, but smiled.
“Yeah, Abbey, you’re hot. Can you open your eyes for me?” She turned her face away from the light he was shining at them. Since when had Jed become a doctor? He gently turned her head back towards him. She winced as the light hit her eyes. His brow furrowed as he observed the way her eyes dilated.
“Your pupil reaction is slow, but even. Stay in bed for a while and you should be fine. And try not to move too much. I don’t want you altering your blood pressure.” Abbey’s sure that there’s something wrong with the setup of this conversation. She should’ve been the one saying all this. Not him.
“When exactly did you get a degree in medicine, Dr. Bartlet? And I thought I was the most qualified person in the room.” He only rolled her eyes.
“Stop talking and rest. Now, are you thirsty?” She shook her head momentarily only to regret it right away. “Your blood sugar is low, oddly enough.” She’d just eaten. “I want to get it back up. I’m going to get you a banana and a bottle of water. Boys, keep Abbey company.” They crowded in closer and snuggled on each side of her to warm her.
“Hi, guys.”
“Hi, Abbey.” They said in unison. She smiled into their eyes. They were so adorable. “How do you feel?”
“A little dizzy, but I feel better with you here.” They grinned down at her.
“We want you to feel better.”
“Thank you.” She leaned up and kissed each of their cheeks. They rested their heads on her chest. She cradled them each in an arm and cuddled them shamelessly. They still smelt like babies, and shampoo. Their soft, tranquil breathing put her back to sleep.
wwww
Jed watched his little family as they snuggled on the bed. It took extra effort for him to remember that Abbey wasn’t their mother. She looked so natural holding them. There were times when he missed her so much. She was just as beautiful as she’d always been.
wwww
Abbey stumbled onto the second-floor balcony after crawling out of bed. She was surprised to see Jed sitting serenely in a whicker armchair with a book in hand. He peered at her over his wire frames and closed his book when he realized who she was. He checked his watch. It was nearly noon.
“You’re up. You shouldn’t be up yet; you’ll be nauseous.”
“I am.” He stood up and guided her to his seat, taking the accompanying ottoman to rest her feet on.
“I didn’t want you out of bed. I knew this would happen.”
“Me, too, but I’d hoped.” He rested the back of his hand against her cheek and was relieved to find that she didn’t have a fever.
“You don’t have a fever.”
“I know.”
“Good. Now, I want you to get back in bed and rest for a while longer.”
“I don’t feel like staying in bed. I need to be out here in the daylight. Besides, there’s no one in there. Where is everybody, anyway?”
“Church. It’s Sunday.”
“Sunday? What happened to Saturday?”
“You missed it by a mile, babe.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” She let her head fall back and stared at the clouds that drifted across the sky.
“Why aren’t you with them?”
“I wasn’t leaving you alone. Susan knew that.”
“I would have had the agents with me.”
“They wouldn’t have known what to do with you had you gotten truly ill.”
“They could’ve called a doctor.”
“Yeah, but they couldn’t have gotten here for God knows how long. Abbey, I stayed and I’m here. Accept it.”
“Fine…you’re very defensive.” He reopened his book and recrossed his legs.
“No, I’m very protective. I treat everyone in my life that gets sick this way. When Susan was under it a few months back, she didn’t see the sun for days. You’re lucky that I felt the need to be out here, otherwise, I would have sat on you and this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“You would’ve sat on me?”
“Yep.”
“That’s not cruel and unusual?”
“Don’t care.”
“Obviously.”
“Don’t force me to put you to bed.”
“Why is that a bad thing?” He looked over his glasses at her again.
“Are you flirting with me, Abigail Ann?”
“Just a little harmless flirtation.”
“With you, it gets dangerous. You make me want to do things I shouldn‘t do.”
“Do I?”
“You do.”
“Nice to know. I’ll file that away for later.”
“And what will you do with it later?” She winked at him and sauntered saucily back indoors. He chuckled deeply, but went back to his book. He never knew what to do with her.
wwww
Abbey’s energy levels fluctuated dangerously from annoying highs to devastating lows. There were days when she simply couldn’t find it within her to open her eyes and she remained in bed, unmoving. On those days, he would come in and coax her to food. She would turn away with little appetite, but he wouldn’t give up. He’d tenderly turn her back to him and feed her patiently as she tried in vain to chew. The food would inevitably leak out and he would wipe the corners of her mouth and spoon a little more in.
The process took an hour at times, but she would never go hungry. He wouldn’t have it. Then, when it came time to bathe, he’d lift her so carefully and sit her in the bathtub. She would wait with her eyes closed from the inward humiliation of having him undress and wash her. He would remain mute throughout the process and let her weep silently. When her hysterics seemed to overwhelm even her, he would gather her damp form into his arms and kiss her hair. With what little stamina she possessed, she’d apologize for the inconvenience of caring for her. He would hush her with a kiss that belied their places in life now.
Once clean and dry, he would assist her to dress and lay her to bed. If sleep seemed slow in coming, he would lie beside her and tell her of the memories he possessed of the life they’d lived together, or even of the life he lived now with Susan. She would smile in place of laughter or hide her tears in the darkness of the night. He would always hear her crying or taste it on her cheeks as he kissed her good night. He granted her the dignity of saying nothing at all. They both had regrets; especially of one another. Their life together should have ended differently.
Yet, there were good days. Days that she rolled out of bed early and took an independent bath. She made food for the whole house and took the boys out on the beach to play. There were days like that, wonderful days. She cherished them, because they were few and far between.
What she cherished most though was Jed. It was then that she could most interact with him and find out what he’d become since their separation. He was open, but at the same time he held something from her, something imperative. She didn’t push for fear that she’d lose him completely.
It was strange, she thought, to be sharing him with another woman. Of course, she’d shared him with her daughters for decades, but that was different. Those were their daughters; this was another woman, a lover. She didn’t even mind the boys, they were wonderful and Jed’s. She could never hate someone that was a part of the man she would always love. But there was a wall between them, a wall of propriety.
There were things that she knew should never happen between them; certain touches and caresses they should never share again. That was easy in the beginning, but as the weeks passed and her condition, for better or worse, remained the same, that was a harder rule to follow.
A certain desperation came to them; a desire to connect. There would be the lightest contact between them and then a quick withdrawal. They’d wait as if some home great Voice would call down to admonish them for an unintended deed. No Voice ever did. When they each realized that they were safe from the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing, they let their respective guards down. That was the last step in their reconnection and suddenly they were back where they’d been more than half a decade before with the barely perceptible brushing of their fingertips and more.
She didn’t mean for it to happen. It was unintended. An accident, if anything. They’d been in the kitchen early one morning, having risen around the same time. They were working on breakfast for the boys. Susan had eaten and gone for her run. Abbey was working on her special blueberry pancakes and Jed was washing the blueberries necessary to make them what they were famous for: Delicious.
They moved around the spacious room like they were still married. Abbey wiped off the flour Jed had managed to smear on his cheek and he popped a few blueberries into her mouth on command. As they’d been washing the pans and pots, her washing and him drying, they’d found themselves chest to chest between the sink and the center table. To be honest, there was more than enough space for them to separate, but that wasn’t what kept them so close. It was their eyes; the connection and the fire between them. He laid his hands on her hips as if in a trance and moved impossibly closer. When he leaned down their noses brushed and she exhaled. Her breath smelt like blueberries and sugar. He soon discovered that she tasted the same.
Neither was truly aware of what came next. He lifted her to edge of the counter, losing himself in the familiar terrain of her mouth. She sighed in ecstasy, opening herself to him and allowing him to stand between her legs. They both knew inwardly that they should stop, but the desire was just so damned strong. Finally, they were broken apart by the abrupt noises of Susan jogging up the deck steps.
Jed stepped away and leaned back against the chopping table. Abbey hopped down and wiped her face in a useless attempt to hide the evidence of their indiscretion. She knew better, but he was irresistible to her. After all, she was dying; what did she have to lose? But she was afraid for him, afraid that her feelings would cost him everything he had now and she loved him too much to let that happen.
Susan had come in; all but unaware of what had occurred moments before. She had passed them on the way to the fridge for a bottle of water, sending a ‘good morning’ their way. They smiled their ‘D.C’ smiles and Abbey bowed out of the coming conversation in a hurry. She couldn’t stand being that close to Jed as he spoke affectionately to this woman. She thought she could bare it. It turned out that she was wrong.
After that, she tried to keep her distance, truly she did. But, then she got sick again. Sicker actually. He would come in to feed her, but she would still refuse even his best efforts. She would refuse him. Until, even he stopped coming. That’s when she became sick and scared. He had never given up on her before, so why now?
Then, Susan came, taking her hand and talking in her non-too-sweet voice. Her face was red and marked with dried tear tracks.
“Jed.” She nodded. “Where?”
“He’s sick right now.” Abbey shook her head, not believing that. There was no way. He’d been so healthy and strong. He’d lifted her almost daily. He’d bathed and fed her. There was no way he was sick now. “Yes, Abbey. He is. It’s not particularly serious, but it’s a setback. Just give him the day and he’ll be fine. I swear. I wouldn’t lie to you about this. I know how important he is to you. He’s important to me, too.” She exhaled and laid Abbey’s hand down. “I’ll send the boys in to keep you company.” She left then and the boys did come, but they were reserved. They cuddled with her all that night and most of the next morning.
She woke when they were taken carefully from her arms by Susan and replaced by Jed. He was kneeling beside her. “Wake up, gorgeous.” She opened her eyes and immediately began to cry. Instead of the panic that would’ve ensued years ago, he calmly took her into his arms and shushed her. “Hey, what’s the matter? There’s nothing to cry about. Everything’s okay now.”
“No, it’s not.” She pulled away. “You won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You were sick. Susan told me. I got scared when you didn’t come for me. You don’t know how scared I was. I thought you’d given up on me.” He took her face into his hands.
“And I thought you’d given up on me. For days, you wouldn’t eat or talk to me. Do you know how terrified I was that you’d given up?” She shrugged and looked away again. She was feeling stronger now. “You were leaving me and I didn’t notice that I wasn’t eating either. I got sick, Abbey. That’s all.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I wouldn--” She touched his lips.
“Don’t lie to me…Please.”
“Okay.” He paused and said a small prayer. “The MS is progressing. It’s slow, but it’s happening. Relapses happen sometimes. They’re not bad or too serious, but they happen. They take me out for days, but I always bounce back.”
“Always.”
“Yeah.”
“But until when?” He shrugged, lovingly stroking her hair. “Jed, when?”
“Until I don’t need to anymore. I keep coming back, because I’m needed. Right now, you need me and the boys need me. Today, that’s enough, but one day it won’t be. Someday, I won’t bounce back and that’s something I can face with open eyes because I’ve led a charmed life. There’s nothing I want for now.”
“Nothing?”
He would admit a small regret, but only to her. “I only wish I’d been there when you were diagnosed. So, you wouldn’t have to go through that alone. I wish I had a little more time to spend with you. Or maybe just a little more time, period.”
“I understand completely.” It was painful to hear how bitter she sounded. “Hindsight is perfect. If I had known how little time I had, I would’ve tried harder…with us. I would’ve had more patience and been more willing to wait. We wasted six years.”
“They were lived, Abbey. Never wasted. Yes, they were years we could have spent together, but you can’t change the past. We’re together now.”
“Yes, now that I’m dying.”
“We’re dying.” She closed her eyes to try and stem the tide of tears on her face. She didn’t want him to die. He had so much left to do. “We go together. That’s the way it’s always been, honey. It’s the way God intended.”
“We divorced and defied God by breaking our vows. Maybe we’re being punished.”
“I don’t pretend to know whether or not that’s true. It’s not for me to judge His intentions.”
“Nor me.”
“No.” He stood up from his kneeling position with her hand still firmly contained in his. “I’m going to get you something to eat and then, you’re taking a bath.” She rolled her eyes, but didn’t bother to reply. “You will eat. It’s that simple.” He laid her hand down and left the room.
That was the beginning of the road back up, but it was also the beginning of the end. Abbey recovered somewhat from that bout of sickness, but never fully regained her vigor. Good days weren’t as good as before and bad days were worse. Whole weeks were lost at her lowest point. She spent two weeks in bed once, unable to even speak or be conscious for any period of time. She was dying.
She had admitted to Jed something that even the girls hadn’t been told. She had stopped her chemotherapy treatments. They had made sicker than the cancer had. She had said that if she had to die, she wanted to die having done something first. Even if it was only a walk on the beach just before.
Jed promised to make sure that her wish was granted. He’d walk with her. They could take the boys. The thought of that brought a smile to her face. She was always smiling, because she was always remembering something wonderful.
“Our life together wasn’t horrible, was it?” She asked as he held her gently in his arms.
“No, it was pretty great, actually.” He pulled her up a little as they both sank into the sand. It was about two in the morning and the beach was so beautiful. The water was loud crashing on the pier and rock islands, and the sand was cool and wet where the tide rushed in over their feet.
“I think so, too. We were good together. Everyone thought so.”
“I know. You have no idea how many times I was told how lucky I was and how many times I’ve been smacked for letting you get away. None too few of those smacks have been self-inflicted.”
She laughed softly at the thought of him smacking himself. “You’re a good man, Jed Bartlet.”
“And you’re a good woman, Abigail Ann.” Too good for a death like this, he thought to himself. She was too good for it. This all should’ve been different. She was supposed to die a widow of old and wise age thirty years from now. It should’ve been different.
“I talked to the girls today.” Her voice grew hoarse at the mention of their children.
“Did you tell them?”
She shook her head. “I couldn’t. They were so far away and there was just no way for them to get here in time. I just told them how much I loved them and that it was beautiful here.”
“It is, isn’t it?” She nodded, tugging his arms tighter around her. She was getting cold. “It’s cold out here. You wanna go inside?”
“No, I like it here. This is what I wanted to do. This is it.” She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. “I want to walk on the beach. Will you take me?”
“With pleasure.” He pushed her up and stood behind her until she got her balance. The wind blew at her mercilessly, rustling her white blouse and black skirt. Her dark hair flying into her face garnered laughter from both of them. He held her around her waist as they walked, his other hand wrapped around hers. With her free hand, she fingered the pearls Jed had given her from his mother decades ago. They were simple; round, off-white in a perfect circle around her neck. She wanted to be buried in them.
“Jed, I want to take these with me. Is that okay?” He hesitated with a lump in his throat, but nodded. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing next to what you’ve done for me for all these years.” She reached up and touched his face tenderly.
“I still love you. I never stopped. I tried, but I never did.”
“I never stopped loving you either. Even with the years that have passed, you never left my heart. I love you, Abbey.”
“I love you, too.” He leaned down and they shared the last kiss they ever would. Then, they walked down the beach hand in hand. Nothing else had to be said; they’d said all that mattered. At some point, Zane and Kennedy ran down to the beach and started to walk with them. They didn’t play this time, but walked in front of Jed and Abbey as a somber guard, mourning whatever sadness was to come.
Around four that morning, they all settled down on stretch of sand a distance from the house. The boys laid their heads on Abbey’s lap as she snuggled into Jed’s arms. She was tired now. But she was happy.
“I’m tired, Jed.” She wasn’t crying, though she was sad.
“I know, honey.” He was crying enough for both of them. “Just wait a little longer, the sunrise is coming.” She nodded and looked over the stunning horizon. Soon, the blues and reds came, bringing the intermediate shades of purple. “It’s perfect, isn’t it?”
“Um hmm,” was all she could say. How fitting that she should go on a beautiful sunrise. What a day she would miss. “Tired,” she whispered listlessly. He nodded and found the courage to look into her heart-stopping green eyes once more. Suddenly, he relived every one of their moments together. What a wonderful life. She thought so, too.
“Go to sleep, sweetheart.” He kissed her gently on the eyelids and laid her head back against his chest. The next time he looked at her, her eyes would be closed and she would be gone. Though never forgotten.
When the sun had risen, he woke the boys and carried Abbey back to the house. He called her doctor to let her know what had happened, and then he made the arrangements Abbey had wanted. She would be dressed in a forest green suit with the matching shoes and would wear the pearl necklace he’d promised her.
The day of the funeral came following a flight back to Manchester where she would be buried in the Bartlet cemetery. She had wanted that and had expressly stated so in her will should anyone protest. It was an open casket. Jed could see her the whole time from the front row with Susan and the boys on one side and the girls on the other. They had met as a family, but love would have to wait. Everyone’s loss was far too new for that.
All he could think of was how lifelike she seemed, how radiant. She looked to be sleeping, napping even, but the absence of the telltale rising and falling of her chest said otherwise. She wasn’t sleeping and she wasn’t coming back. Death had taken her as a lover and had been amorous in allowing her beauty to be unstained by its tawdry hand. Even when the casket was closed, and later lowered into the ground, that was the image in his mind.
He never recovered from losing her honestly. Anyone who knew him knew that. Susan knew it and was not offended by it. She knew that their love had always run deep and death would not stop that. She also knew that she would lose him soon after. She could never fill the void of Abbey’s life. She could never be his one true thing. Abbey had been and would always be.
She hadn’t been there when he died. The boys were there with him as he sat in his bed and read to them. They knew he was sick, almost like their Abbey had been and that soon he’d have to go away too. It hurt them, but they could love him until he had to leave. He read the last page of “Moby Dick” to them before smiling and letting them know that he was tired. They took the book away, but didn’t leave his side.
They rested themselves on either side of him and listen to the soft beating of his heart. Even on that day it was strong. Before he left, he told them that he loved them and their mother and that Abbey missed them. They sent their love back to her. He smiled at them again before falling softly to sleep. He never woke up.
His funeral, so soon after hers, was just as painful for all involved. The girls sat beside Susan who held her inconsolable sons while trying to keep her own grief at bay. Seeing her immense distress, the girls gathered around her and embraced her, taking her burdens along with their own. His was also an open casket. He seemed relieved of all the strain in death that had plagued him in life. He was radiant, almost charismatic. As Death had taken their mother, their mother had taken him. And as Death, she had been amorous. They would always remember him that way.
Somewhere, far beyond them, Abbey sat on a sandy beach by a house with Jed’s strong arms wrapped around her. It was sunrise again, but Abbey wouldn’t miss this day. Or any other. As Death had taken her, she had become Death, and Death had taken him. This destination had been long in coming and suffering, but they had found their way here, to Heaven.
Death became her, but could not kill her love even as it took her breath. And her last breath took her love’s life. She could thank Death for only this.
Death had brought them back together.