Awwwwww Poor Katie and Oliver The breakup scene felt eirily familiar... :-\
But a few comments... "Wood and I nodded, and our agreement mollified her into silence." <-- nice use of English vocabulary :-P
"The months whipped past as if a strong wind had simply blown the pages of our calendar away." <-- quite cliche, babe. hehe (you don't have to change it, it just made me giggle)
(You probably already know this one) "Probably the twins can never be subdued." just a little bit awkward, you might want to play with wording a little bit
other than that, yay! and my many compliments, as usual! you truly have a superlative mastery of the English language plus, I'm pretty sure you're a better critic of yourself than I am of you :-D Keep it up! I'll be dying for a new chapter now!! (you know, until tomorrow when I totally forget about it)
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!(not that thats even close to an actual word...)but I don't remeber them actually dating, I have to go read it again. lol. anyways
“Yes, do let’s bring that up as often as possible,” interjected Alicia sarcastically. < I understand what your trying to say (and how) but its a little awkward...I think the "do"s in the wrong place...
Comments 3
Poor Katie and Oliver
The breakup scene felt eirily familiar... :-\
But a few comments...
"Wood and I nodded, and our agreement mollified her into silence." <-- nice use of English vocabulary :-P
"The months whipped past as if a strong wind had simply blown the pages of our calendar away." <-- quite cliche, babe. hehe (you don't have to change it, it just made me giggle)
(You probably already know this one)
"Probably the twins can never be subdued." just a little bit awkward, you might want to play with wording a little bit
other than that, yay! and my many compliments, as usual!
you truly have a superlative mastery of the English language
plus, I'm pretty sure you're a better critic of yourself than I am of you
:-D Keep it up! I'll be dying for a new chapter now!! (you know, until tomorrow when I totally forget about it)
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that really is an excited yay...i'm in a blah mood... ...i'm doing history.
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“Yes, do let’s bring that up as often as possible,” interjected Alicia sarcastically. < I understand what your trying to say (and how) but its a little awkward...I think the "do"s in the wrong place...
other than that, lovely as always!
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