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Feb 01, 2006 16:52

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inlovewithlife February 2 2006, 04:00:30 UTC
Awwwwww
Poor Katie and Oliver
The breakup scene felt eirily familiar... :-\

But a few comments...
"Wood and I nodded, and our agreement mollified her into silence." <-- nice use of English vocabulary :-P

"The months whipped past as if a strong wind had simply blown the pages of our calendar away." <-- quite cliche, babe. hehe (you don't have to change it, it just made me giggle)

(You probably already know this one)
"Probably the twins can never be subdued." just a little bit awkward, you might want to play with wording a little bit

other than that, yay! and my many compliments, as usual!
you truly have a superlative mastery of the English language
plus, I'm pretty sure you're a better critic of yourself than I am of you
:-D Keep it up! I'll be dying for a new chapter now!! (you know, until tomorrow when I totally forget about it)

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the_rogue_twin February 2 2006, 22:38:58 UTC
yay!

that really is an excited yay...i'm in a blah mood... ...i'm doing history.

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kaitydid February 4 2006, 13:22:45 UTC
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!(not that thats even close to an actual word...)but I don't remeber them actually dating, I have to go read it again. lol. anyways

“Yes, do let’s bring that up as often as possible,” interjected Alicia sarcastically. < I understand what your trying to say (and how) but its a little awkward...I think the "do"s in the wrong place...

other than that, lovely as always!

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