the only perk ends with set.
Something awful happened to me. Had to go to the emergency room. My life will never be the same. But I'm still alive. And I have percocet and a Grande Meal from Taco Bell. So all is not lost. My heart is broken but I'm still here. I think to myself "just one more thing and I'm gonna end this" I wanna have the control. I don't know what I have left that hasn't been ruined. I don't do anything in life particularly well. I don't have passion. I don't feel like I have many reasons to proceed. But I'm still here. I just want to go peacefully. I don't want pain anymore and I want to know what's going to happen. I am not depressed really I feel ok. Physically I hurt and I do feel down but not to the extent of harming myself or anybody else. I just want to be at peace. I can't imagine my life getting any worse. There is only one thing that could happen that might surpass this. But I have Phillip here and I have my family. I wish I had a baby. I want to give someone else life to provide them with everything that I lack and give them everything I have and make their life so special. Provide every opportunity to succeed in life and just love them. I don't think I'll ever get that chance but if I do... no matter when it happens I'm going to embrace that opportunity. Because it will give my life meaning. I hope I get that chance. If I don't I am still very lucky to have a handful of people who do love me and hopefully I will have done something positive in their lives. I want my passion back... but lack of opportunity has broken my will. And my health is getting worse and worse... no mistake goes unnoticed by the World. I hope that it ends and I will be healthy and that this is all just a test of my strength and I will succeed somehow in this life.